Urban Mamas

Now that my little ones are older -- my youngest is five, and all of my three boys are in school -- I sometimes forget what it's like to be a new mom. That's one reason I love the writing playgroups I've started with Stealing Time and my long-time "home school MFA" classmate Mara Collins; at once I'm doing something I love (talking about writing and reading) and connecting with, mostly, mothers whose children are very young. Even though it's distant for me, remembering what it was like to be a new mother without a lot of community and validation was really hard. It was about that time, though, that I met a mom's group, and then soon after the lovely ladies of urbanMamas.

So I could relate when I asked our new member Tuesday why she had come. She didn't have a writing project specifically in mind. "I just want to get out of the house," she said. That's as good a reason as any!

It brought me back to the feelings of my young mama days, how I wanted to somehow stay relevant to the world and yet still honor my new role as a mother; how hard it was to get to know the new mother self while at the same time learning how to deal with a small very needy being; how little was left at the end of all that and yet how much I needed to use what little was left in an altruistic way.

We're planning to start rolling out the writing playgroups to other neighborhoods and cities starting in the winter, to give more people this chance to "get out of the house" in a way that engages your brain and still honors your motherhood (or, if you're an at-home dad, your fatherhood). If you're a new mom, how do you connect with all the other selves that sometimes get muffled in motherhood? If you're not so new any more, how did you do it back then?

We know there are ad hoc mama groups forming all the time in our midst, but a papa group is harder to come by.  We just received an email from Impact Northwest at the Brentwood-Darlington Community Center announcing the formation of a new playgroup, geared toward fathers.

The Family Support Workers with Healthy Start saw a need to provide support for the fathers of the community.  So often services are provided and focus on the mother and child, but rarely is there a program dedicated specifically to fathers.  With that in mind the Healthy Start program created a Dad and child play group.  The goal of the group is to provide support and a sense of belonging among fathers in the community.  The group is geared toward fathers of children from birth to 3 years old.
 
With a generous grant from SE Uplift, and pizzas donated by Papa Murphy’s the dad’s group meets three times a month.  We have gotten community volunteers, who are also fathers to act as facilitators for each group.  At each group we are able to have both an English and Spanish speaking facilitator.  There is no agenda for each group, but rather an environment in which dad’s can talk to other dad’s about the struggles and triumphs of fatherhood.

Group times/dates for the rest of 2009 are: Sept 21; Oct 6, 14, and 19h; Nov 2, 11, and 16; and Dec 7, 16, and 21.  All of the groups meet from 6:00pm-7:30pm at the Brentwood-Darlington Community Center, 7211 SE 62nd Ave., Portland, Oregon 97206.  For more information, please contact Jessica Bell at jbell@impactnw.org or (503)988-5961 x256

We've added these playgroups to the urbanMamas calendar.  Hope you can take advantage of the groups!

Aside from an effort way back to unite grandbaby-grandparent pairs with other like pairs, does anyone have suggestions for helping a grandma and her grandchild make some meaningful connections? Julie emails:

I have an amazing mother-in-law who takes care of my 14-month old full-time. My in-laws are relatively new to the area, having moved to Portland my son was born and are still getting settled in. Does anyone have any recommendations for play groups or activities that would be fun for my son and also provide a social outlet for grandma?

I am a new mama to twins that arrived early, and I, along with another mama of preemies, am trying to organize a post-NICU support group for parents of preemies.  So far, we have a grand total of 3 mamas planning to attend our first get-together. We'd love to open this nascent group to other mamas who have been through the NICU experience (and its aftermath) and are looking for others who've been there. 

Our first gathering will be on Sept. 20th at 3:00 PM at the following location:

Patisserie Cafe Lili
8337 SE 17th St
Portland, OR 97201
Phone: (503) 233-8844

If anyone is interested in joining us, they should email minette.minette@gmail.com

As a part of the discussion on "Seasons changing, What's a mama to do in the dark?", a few NE Alberta mamas are scheming to get together!  Sounds fun!!  Diane says:

ALBERTA MAMAS,
Lets just pick a first time get together at a cafe that works for everyone and during that time we could come up with something more regular? How about Tuesday the 18th, 6pm Vita cafe.

Hope y'all connect!

"Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) is a complex disorder of the brain that affects developing children and adults."  There have been suggestions on preschools for children with sensory integration disorder and there was previous discussion on finding a support group for parents and children with sensory integration disorder.  But, did a group ever form and gather?  Beren is seeking support and would like to get convene families:

I’m looking for a support/social group for Portland mamas with Preschool aged kids with sensory processing disorder that impedes their ability to attend or succeed in preschool or Pre-K. I’m feeling a little alone and would love to share stories, offer support, and cry together over administrators who just don’t get it. Are there any other stay-at-home moms or dads who meet up during the weekday?—Mom of 3 in NE Portland