In which I drive a hybrid Ford for a weekend

Most of you know my family is fully car-free (we finally got rid of our three-years-lying-fallow car last month). And at least one of you expressed shock to hear I was test-driving a Ford Escape hybrid this past weekend. Was the world coming to an end? No, the people in Ford's social media group are working to create buzz about their hybrids by offering 'em to mama bloggers for test drives, and I was an eager participant. So was my husband, who, though he was weaned from his mother's chauffeur services on his 10-speed, and actually spent some time in the early '90s as a bike messenger, is a bit of a car addict.

One of the reasons I was eager to forgo our car was his nasty habit of driving to Trader Joe's... three blocks away. But when we found out he'd be going to Iraq this summer; changing our financial situation from just north of "desperate" to a few ticks shy of "flush," he began to sneak this phrase into conversation: "I've been thinking when I come back, we could use some of my money to get a hybrid..." Or this one: "If I get that job as a cop I could drive to work in a hybrid..."

"No!" I'd say, firmly. "No cars!" I love the money we save, $200-300 per month just in gas, insurance and tags; I love that we have to think carefully about all our bike trips, keeping us closer to home; I love my conscience, clean as the air around me as I bike. I've made a significant reduction in my workload so I can spend more time with the kids, in the garden, cooking food; we don't have room in that budget for even the barest car expense. I don't want that to change.

But. I'm all for a test drive. Just to see. Thursday morning, some nice people from Ford delivered us the sparkliest Escape Hybrid you've ever seen. I immediately hopped in with Truman and Monroe to pick up some film on the way to preschool (an impossible task on the bike; my fave film store is Citizen's Photo, about 4 miles from home). They leave us with a rundown on our car... $33,725 including "destination and delivery" for the model in our driveway. But "THIS VEHICLE NOT FOR SALE," said the page. At least there's that...

How to discuss the economy with kids?

Our new economy has left us in a myriad of new/different situations as it relates to our family finances.  We, as adults, are exposed to these realities every day, whether we are affected directly or less directly.  Our children are also increasingly exposed to these realities, and sometimes it can be a difficult topic to broach.  How are you discussing the recession with your children, if at all?

I need help from those more versed in economics than I. My 9yo hears a lot of talk about the bad economy. He knows that people are losing their jobs, that school days in our district may be cut, that Obama is trying to fix things, etc. But except for the tanking of his college fund and our retirement (which I see no reason to get into with him), we've been lucky enough not to be affected. To him it's just this thing, "the bad economy" that he hears about.  Last night he asked, "Why is the economy so bad now? What happened?" And I really didn't know how to explain it to him. Heck, I barely understand it myself.  Can someone help me out with a simply-worded explanation for a reasonably bright kid?

Two incomes, can't afford child care: Let's potluck this to a better way

I did not have the intended response to the front-page article in the 'O' section of today's Oregonian. The writer meant for me to be sympathetic with the plight of the family depicted; two parents in what seemed a loving, functional marriage with two children under four. I think it was the way the writer approached the story, obvious scrabbling to paint a sad picture of a family left exhausted and strung out, juggling two jobs and only one car.

While I can relate to the stress of the enormous, far-too-dear cost of child care for young children, I came away from the article wishing to share my perspective as a mama of three boys, having drastically changed my work schedule in the past year; though I fear the chasm between the ways we look at life is great. The two parents are working alternate schedules; mom at Costco, dad in sales at a construction and industrial supply company. They pay for only about nine hours of day care a week, or $480 a month, and together make $64,000. They live in a two-bedroom, 800 square foot apartment somewhere in Tigard. No, their schedule doesn't allow for matinees, pedicures, or post-work beer with the guys. Yes, they're "trapped" with one parent, and the car, at work when it rains. The fun for the kids, according to the article: a walk to a toy store, cartoons on 'On Demand,' the shopping mall play area. [The article's writer explained the day she followed the family, it was raining, so they decided not to go to the park; there are parks close by, though the original article wasn't clear on that fact.]

I wish I could fix it for them. What's obvious at first is that we all need a better link to community; to friends who can share childcare providers or swap care for free; to people who can provide that post-work beer experience with the kids; to occasional potluck dinners so each night doesn't seem so harried and lonely. My life today is not perfect (far, far, far!) but thanks to my perspective I can see a number of choices that are worth re-thinking. The sidewalk-less suburb is just one; I know that prices don't vary much from the middle of my neighborhood in inner SE Portland to Tigard, giving the parents far more places to connect and allowing mom & dad to get rid of the car altogether, choosing Tri-Met or the bike for commuting. Then maybe one parent can quit or reduce hours, relieving the pressure and the exhaustion considerably. Harriet calls this concept "householding," and I'm a big fan. (After hearing from the writer who wrote the story, I deleted my comment about food.)

Instead of sitting here frustrated at how isolating, stressful and perhaps more expensive than necessary are the lives we're asked to sympathize with in the Sunday paper, I'll make a challenge. [And judging from the age of the photo illustrating this post, it's a challenge I need badly.] I'll make it easy, because frankly, sharing child care is enormous thing to think about on such a beautiful day. Invite someone over for a potluck dinner -- or invite yourself to their place, if they have more room to set plates and cups. Connect in a simple, relaxed and nonmaterial way. Spend as little money as possible; yes, a carrot and lentil chili and a big salad, with water or homemade iced tea to drink, is perfect. Skip the cartoons and toy stores. Talk about the best place in your neighborhood for nature walks. Make it a regular thing. Start the change small, and see what happens.

Healthy & Environmentally-Friendly Shopping in the Recession: What gives?

It was almost a year ago when we started talking about our weekly grocery bill, finding ways to trim.  Now, with our local unemployment as one of the nation's highest and with many of our families in the throes of the recession, cutting costs is more important than ever.

With the economic downturn, I'm wondering how mamas and families are weighing shopping for healthy and sustainable food on a budget. I used to buy the organic milk, no question. However, our family often can't drink a half-gallon before it goes bad, and I haven't found organic milk in half-gallons. So now that I'm on a budget, I'm buying the quarts of local, hormone-free but non-organic milk. Same with eggs. The enviro side of me says go for the organic, but the thrifty side says the cage-free eggs are a good compromise. (Yes, backyard chickens are a good solution, and we're working on it, but that isn't for everyone.)

Do others have the same conflict? And if anyone has good leads where the two meet I'd love to hear. For example, I found the whole-wheat organic bread made at New Seasons is good stuff for $2.99 a loaf, cheaper than other organic breads and locally made. And if they happen to have some cooling in the back before they put it in bags, I can reuse the bag from the last loaf (if I remembered to bring it). You have to keep it in the freezer or it gets moldy fast.

Are you buying less organics due to the cost?  Are you finding organic products are increasingly available as affordable options?  Or, is the point moot because you find yourself shopping at discount supermarkets anyway, where organic goods are hard to find?  Are there economical ways to find healthful, minimally-processed food options?

Wills, Powers of Attorney, and Lawyers

When we become parents, it becomes all the more important to plan for the future, including a future for our children that may not include us.  An urbanMama recently emailed to see if the rest of the urbanMamas community would share their insight and recommendations:

Well, we're now the parents of TWO children, ages 5 and 0.5, and we STILL haven't done our wills and all that ancillary and extremely important legal stuff to protect them if we die. It's a daunting prospect to figure that all out, but it is certainly past time to have gotten the ball rolling.

So...any urbanMamas out there who have used a family-friendly and knowledgeable lawyer that they can recommend? What did it cost? And what documents and services did you get for that cost? Any and all advice/recommendations would be appreciated!

On charitable giving (and receiving)

Charity is very much top-of-mind this week. My husband is in the Army Reserves, and either we are the only large-ish family in his unit and thus deemed needful of charity based solely on the number of mouths to feed, or perhaps he has slightly exaggerated our financial plight (I'm freelancing as our main source of income right now, and while the work is plentiful, my time is not so much). Either way we have received two gift baskets in the past week, both stocked with hams, a pound of margarine, and various canned goods and other nonperishables. I am grateful. And yet, given my now year-long commitment to feed my family organic, fairly traded, as-local-as-possible food, it's been a challenge deciding how to face a six-year-old who I found hoarding two boxes of cake mix and a package of Sara Lee dinner rolls in his bedroom. Among other things. One day I'll let the boys gorge themselves on Trix, Campbell's chicken noodle soup, and chocolate icing straight out of the carton, the next day I hide it all and force-feed them sourdough whole wheat baked goods and raw milk. As a culture, we believe that one should not look a gift horse in the mouth and that those receiving charitable assistance should be pleased to eat whatever GMO-ridden, conventional, processed, sugar-packed, wrapped-up-in-excess-packaging goods the givers choose.

I am torn. I wish to be grateful and am thrilled that such largess exists. I know that those who assembled the gift packages did so out of a genuine and generous wish to make our lives better. (And the PGE gift card that was included in one of them will, indeed!, make our lives better. If anyone should be struggling over what to get for a needy family -- go with the PGE gift card!) And at the same time I wish I could somehow send a message to all those who shop for holiday gift baskets and ask if they might consider getting big bags of Bob's Red Mill organic whole wheat flour, and a dozen eggs from Kookoolan Farms, and perhaps a nice local ham from Sweet Briar Farms or the Pacific Village cooperative.

Our new economy: where has it left you?

About a month ago, I received a bleak email at 1am on an early Monday morning.  It was from the president of my organization.  I read the email on my smart-phone: they were announcing layoffs and paycuts for all remaning staff.  The announcement left me unable to get any more rest that night.  While my job was spared, I was still left a bit numb and sad. 

Layoffs are happening around us in our families and among our circles, left and right.  Unemployment benefits will dry up, and, when it does, will we find new jobs?  Our IRAs or 529s or other investments are half the size they used to be.  News reports constantly read "down with the dow".  And, now, businesses in our beloved Portland seem to be shuttering, one of which is an all time family-favorite, Sip 'n' Kranz (mentioned on neighborhood notes).  (Note: We stand corrected, Sip 'n' Kranz is still open! We still notice shuttering businesses, including Sal's Favorite Italian kitchen in NPDX and Mercato in NW PDX.)

Will it ever end?  How has the economic downturn hit your family?  Has your family's economic state been shaken or does it still feel a little status quo?

I quit! Now... what am I going to do about health care?

Yesterday was my last day at work. It's a complicated story about "not giving 100%" and needing to spend way more of my percentages here at home on my kids. I'm starting a new freelance career that will pay a lot less than my former career, and naturally, includes only the benefit of complete freedom from externally-imposed responsibilities. Health insurance and maternity leave and retirement? I'm hoping my good, nourishing cooking and royalties from my soon-to-be-pitched book will cover me. (It's good to think positive.)

I can't afford Cobra and I think my income will be too high to qualify for the Oregon Health Plan (though maybe I'll be close). We get supplemental insurance through the Army Reserve's Tricare program for $82 a month but I doubt it'll help me without the primary insurance. I'm considering just paying out-of-pocket for services we need (like well-baby visits and the occasional checkup for Jonathan and myself, plus dental visits). Compared to the retail price of health insurance for my family -- between $400 and $1000 a month, plus deductibles and co-pays -- a few hundred here and there doesn't seem that bad. And honestly: I'll bet my out-of-pocket costs with employee-sponsored United Healthcare were at least $2000 in the past year.

Of course, that's assuming that I don't have another emergency like the one where Monroe ended up riding the ambulance to get stitches in his eye. And I have three extremely energetic and risk-loving boys. When I tweeted about my quandary over insurance, I found a few other mamas responded back almost immediately; they, too, were foregoing insurance due to great expense. We've talked before about insurance providers and insurance for pregnant mamas (thank goodness that's not a factor for me right now). While this is a great time to get very, very angry over the state of our nation's health system (John McCain accused Barack Obama's plan of being like England's -- I thought to myself, if only!) -- it's also a time to evaluate the options in reality. For those of you who don't get, or can't afford, insurance through your work or your spouse's work: What do you do?

Update: I wrote a post on WalletPop about "The Gilbert Plan," the way health care policy should be. What do you think about that?

Seeking a smaller bank...

I am no finance expert.  But I know enough about economics to be not-so-thrilled with my bank suddenly becoming one of very few large banks in the U.S.  (less competition being not so good for the consumer and all).  I know there are community banks and credit unions and am 100% sure I want to switch.  Not because I think my money isn't secure (grasping the FDIC thing and the max insured amount, which we're well under), but just have an urge to go small, go local. 

Yeah, I'm likely not the first to have this urge, but I'm ready, as complicated as it's gonna be to transfer the whole kit-and-kaboodle (direct deposit, checks, ATM locations & cards, to name but a few). Thanks to OPB's Think Out Loud crew for covering this one from the local angle a few weeks ago.

So my question is this: do you bank at a small community bank that you'd recommend, where you think there is some real, maybe even deep respect for the community, the every-day customers?   Where we can all just fell the love instead of trading each other to hell and back for a buck?  I really, really don't want to undergo this process twice, so I plan to rely on recommendations.  Got any?

The high cost of gas

Our family took a nice little road trip for the recent three-day weekend.  On our way home, when we stopped for gas, I was aghast to see what we were paying at the pump (in a town just north of Seattle, WA): $4.09 for regular unleaded.  It's happened  We’ve broken through another dollar point.  I thought to myself, “Are we the only family taking a road trip this weekend?  Are people staying home because of the high cost of gas?”

When we got home to a close-to-zero bank balance, it feels so urgent now: we are going to take the bus and bike more than ever!  It is time to reprogram Trimet’s transit tracker on my phone's speed dial and commit our favorite stop ID’s to memory. 

What about you?  With gas prices up around $4 per gallon, are you forced to make different transit arrangements?  Aside from biking, walking, or bussing, are there any other suggestions you have for being less car-reliant?  Do you have a way of connecting with other families at your school for carpool arrangements?  Have you given use of your personal car, opting for Zipcar or car rentals instead?

Stimulate this! Great ideas for using your economic stimulus package

As soon as I heard about Bush's Economic Stimulus plan, I started in with the subversion. I'd use my stimulus check to buy things, but entirely not the things Bush and big retail corporations wanted me to. My debit card wouldn't be swiped at Target or Sears or Olive Garden; with the whopping $2,100 my family will get (we have three children) I wouldn't buy a single gallon of premium unleaded gas, nor sink a nickel into video poker machines (I'm scandalized and saddened that's where Oregon's kicker went). No. I'd buy things that would work gently against big government and big big oil.

I made a promise to myself that I would spend my economic stimulus money on things that would save me from spending future fossil fuels, future money and future greenhouse gases. I decided I would invest my stimulus package into my little urban homestead's soil, air, and food stores. I'd get off the grid, just a bit, I'd use it to live lighter. I made a list of ideas and (helped by a substantial tax rebate) I've already started in on it. Do you have any ideas to add to the list? Where will your stimulus package go?

• A family bike. I bought this Electra Townie + Xtracycle + Bobike seat from Clever Cycles for about $1500; you could do it a lot cheaper ($450-$600) if you had a base bike to use (you could even use an old Schwinn). I'm waiting for another Bobike seat for Truman. I can transport all three boys on it! There are lots more thoughts about family biking here.
• A couple of garden boxes, fertilizer, compost, seeds and starts. It seems as if I'm not the only one thinking about this! Lots of your great vegetable gardening advice here.

How much is your weekly grocery bill?

Last week, the Oregonian's FOODday featured four families that put their family food budgets on a diet, ranging from $100 to $300 a week.

Why are we paying so much more at the store? Blame rising energy costs that make it more expensive to transport food and run a farm; spiking corn prices that inflate the cost of feeding animals we use for meat, eggs and dairy; and a run-up in what food manufacturers pay for wheat, soy and corn sweeteners, the main ingredients in bread, cereals and most processed foods on your grocers' shelves.

One family slashed their eating-out budget and planned their darndest to keep within their budget and scheduled meals.  Another family stopped frequenting all their favorite speciality food shops, opting - instead - to one-stop shop, saving on time and gas and impulse purchases.  The third family, raising two teenage sons, became masters at finding steals and deals, scoring enough milk for the boys' gallon-a-day needs and cheese or fruit for their constant appetite.  And the last family tightened their belts even tighter and focused on from-scratch cooking.

These days, we're talking about tightening belts, but we're also talking about lower-sugar, less processed cereal, peanut butter, and bread.  How do we balance the food budget with all these factors in play?  What is your family's weekly food budget?  What are tips and tricks to keep you within budget?

Happy Tax Day!

The day is almost over!  Have you sent in your taxes?  Did you do it weeks and weeks ago and already spend your refund?  Are you deferring and extending the pain until August because you owe the government money (YIKES!)?  Did you file electronically?  Or, will you be joining me at the main post office at 11:59pm tonight?  They're postmarking until midnight just for the occassion!

Are you tightening your belts?

I haven't seen it yet, but apparently Portland Monthly's cover story is all about Portland real estate and why Portland is still America’s hottest hometown.  We're not going to try to discuss the reality of the Portland economy here, but we've heard several families recently talking about changes in family finances to perpare for joblessness and other losses.  With this economy doing something funny, are you tightening your family money belts even more, saving more for those rainy days?  What are included in part of your essential monthly expenses and what are more discretionary (and, therefore, disposable)?  Do you feel secure here in Portland, a bit insulated from the housing crisis that hit hard in parts of California and Florida?  Or, have you noticed the chill, in one way or another?

Saving for College, Right.

The astronomical cost of childcare is one of my many favorite rants.  As evident by the conversation over at Activistas apparently I may not be the only one.  At the recent Naked Baby Swap, another mama and I engaged again in the topic with a twist.  She confided in me that her childcare costs are $1800/month.  But I then wondered, how are you saving for college?  She said they weren't.  Right, to foot a childcare bill that amounts to a mortgage payment, who can really think about saving for college!

With our childcare bill at over $19,000 over the next year, I too wonder why we are saving for college.  But in the end we feel it's important.  We scrape together a measly $75 a month to go towards a 529 savings plan for each child.  We also try to match 100% of monetary gifts provided by family members.  Are we doing the right thing even though we are still paying off my husband's student loans (which in and of itself is a small fortune)?  Knowing that both my husband and I worked our way through college with very little help from our own parents; and somehow we made it begs a series of questions.  urbanParents:

How many of you are saving for your kids college education?  How much and through what mechanisms (529 plans, etc)?  How much of the decision to pay for college stems from how they were raised and if you got help from your own parents?  If not, why not?  And lastly, are you in agreement with your spouse / partner about whether saving for college is necessary?

Budgeting to Support a Stay-At-Home Parent

Kudos to Mary for choosing to stay-at-home despite a drastic income differential.  She's seeking your advice on preparing for the changes in income and budget advice.  She writes:

We are expecting our first child the beginning of July and we are planning on me quitting my job to be a stay-at-home-mom.  And, with thoughts of having  one more and wanting to stay at home with them until they are both at least two years old, we are looking at a dramatic shift in income and the lifestyle that goes along with it for at least 4 years. This is a very scary step for us as our income will drop by over 40%. Does anyone have tips and recommendations for preparing for this income change and for living within a much smaller budget over the next few years?

Toys: What to (and not to) buy from mamas who've been there

Everett's developmental pediatrician has recommended, among other things, that we organize his toys better; and part of that has been purging lots of the precious whats-its and doo-dads garnered from the Bins, or from a random assortment of relatives and friends. We've been talking a lot about the concept of "quality" here at chez cafemama. And all last week while I had my nose to the corporate grindstone, launching a new personal finance blog called WalletPop, I was thinking about what things I wish I hadn't bought -- instead putting the money into college savings, or a therapy fund.

Today I couldn't help but fall in love with this post about toys you shouldn't -- and should -- buy your kids for Christmas. It's written by the mother of one of the lead bloggers at WalletPop (a financially-savvy 19-year-old). And to her list I'd add:

• Don't buy: Anything remote-controlled
• Do buy: Die-cast trains
• Don't buy: So-called "educational" toys, which nearly always have batteries and only teach your kids how to push buttons.
• Do buy: Books in quantity
• Don't buy: Toys linked to Disney movie / Cartoon Network show / video game; why further that vicious cycle of feeding your children to the marketing machine?
• Do buy: An easel, quality crayons and colored pencils, a big roll of paper.
• Don't buy: Excessive stuffed toys, especially those with voice boxes; they'll take over your playroom.
• Do buy: Dress-up clothes (or make them!)

What's on your list?

Seeking Financial Advisor

MoneyTalk is important, no doubt.  Kate recently emailed:

It was easy back when our finances were a simple checking and savings account. Now that we've got college funds, IRAs, a mortgage and - happily - some extra to invest, things are a bit more complex. We'd like to sit down with a professional who can help us decide how best to allocate our resources. We're looking for someone who will take the time to understand our individual situation, not try to sell us a financial package, and preferably someone who is familiar with socially-responsible investing. Any recommendations?

Mamas: Your best free activities & low-cost shopping?

For some of us, low-cost living is the reality.  We just don't have dual incomes or excess funds to go around.  Even when we are pinching pennies, there is still plenty to do with the kids.  We are sure of it!  What are your favorite free haunts?  Where do you go?  What about for household or children's items?  Where can you find decent quality, low-cost goods?  An urbanMama emails:

Can you give me ideas for how to go out and about (or stay in!) with my 3 kids (ranging 3-12) without spending money - or spending very little?!  I am up-to-speed with the library and the parks, but need more inspiration!  Also, shopping suggestions - both for household and childrens stuff.  Thanks (ps. the naked mamas party was a huge help!)

Wills, Trusts, and Estates

Would you say a good attorney is hard to find?  When it comes to setting up wills, trusts and estates, although there are many do-it-yourself resources, sometimes there's greater assurance in using a professional.  Blair is looking for a referral for a lawyer to set up wills, trusts, and the like.  Have you used someone good or do you know someone you'd recommend?  Or have you prepared these yourself a la Suze Orman?  Let us know below.

Money Honey

For sure money talks.  What age is the right time to start learning?  How should allowances work, if at all?  Thanks for your email Sadie Rose:

How do we do it??  What is the best way to teach our little ones how to spend, save, earn, value?  Sometimes we can't just rely on example (wink, wink).  But really, I am dying to hear how other uMs and uFams teach their children the best way to handle this thing called money.

Recommend a Financial Planner?

Oh yes.  Money talks.  Especially when we have little ones to consider as we plan.  Do you keep it in-house or do you have a consultant?  Jenny wants to know:

Hi! I have 2 girls (ages 2 and 5) and have been in Portland for over 10 years.  I wanted to ask others if they know of a good and not too expensive financial planner. My husband and I are middle class and are not looking to invest, but more to: budget, pay off debt, start thinking of retirement, etc. Anyone know of someone who could help us (preferably Downtown, in John's Landing, or Inner SE)? We are not great with money, but are ready to learn:)

Demystifying Medical Bills - the Impossible?

Since we're still on the topic of pediatrician's, Rebecca's interested hearing if anyone has experienced billing woes:

I am in the midst of an conflict with my pediatrician's office regarding billing practices, and it has got me wondering how widespread the problem may be...so I wanted to inquire if other uMs might have had similar difficulties.

My family has an insurance policy through Regence BC/BS which includes 100% well baby coverage for 8 pediatricians visits in the first 24 months of life. The ped group that I had chosen has twice billed two visits in my daughters first 9 months of life with diagnosis codes, thereby resulting in only partial coverage by insurance and me getting a bill. What is so frustrating is that we visited our pediatricians under the impression that they were "well child" visits...we did not make the appointments with specific complaints. Upon researching the charges with my insurance company, I have been surprised to discover the diagnoses resulting in these charges...one of the two visits in our case was "functional disorder of the gastrointestinal system"...doctor speak for constipation. I had mentioned that my daughter was occasionally constipated at that visit, but it was simply mentioned in a conversation regarding the well being of my child.

I am a physician, and perhaps since I have just finished my training and have not yet practiced on my own, I am naive to billing practices. But this does not seem right. It seems to me a clear example of why health care costs are so high.... Anyone out there with similar problems? Thanks!

Accountant Required or Turbo Tax Sufficient

Leah emailed me a while back about seeking an accountant, and finally, I am just getting around to posting about it.  We had a couple of posts regarding this around the same time last year.  There was one discussion thread on whether to use an accountant vs. turbo tax and one on babysitter / nanny and taxes.  So, mamas, we need your help again.  Can anyone recommend a good accountant?  What are your experiences with filing taxes?  Are you a DIY or are you the type to pay someone else to do the dirty work?

Work-Life Balance

A question from Maple:

Just wondering... what do you all do out there to pay for rent/mortgage, food, gas, bills, auto insurance, health insurance, preschool and all of the other necessary items and also take care of your child(ren)?

I'm currently having trouble figuring out how to balance work, money and spending enough time with my son.

Just curious what everyone else's situation is.

529 Waaa!

Experts say it's never to soon to plan for college savings.  With my first son, we started a 529 College Savings plan offered for Oregon last January when he was closing in on his second birthday.  I admit, I'm not sure if the Oregon College Savings plan was the best choice but I selected it mainly because it offers tax deduction for residents, and the fact that I wanted to choose a plan quickly before procrastination would soon kick in.  There are sites like Savingforcollege.com that offer tons of information but I don't have the stomach nor the patience to sift through the dizzying options.  Morningstar suggests Virginia, Utah, and Alaska have some of the best plans for those that don't like the options provided from your home state, but why?  What have you done?  What college savings plans have you opted to invest in and why?  What other alternatives are you seeking if you feel 529s are not the best option?

A Tightwad Shops Local

Shopping local in California can typically mean buying from the neighborhood strip mall. In Portland, though, shopping from locally-owned boutiques is a badge of honor.

I prefer not shopping at all, yet I am intrigued by all the start-ups on Alberta Street, my neighborhood thoroughfare. I peek inside the shops on a weekly basis, but am challenged by the $140 sweaters and $20 wind-up toys. It's tough for a tightwad to change her ways but, if I'm planning to buy a gift or a necessity, I'd rather skip Target and walk to my local boutique.

So, this holiday season, I'm slowly devising strategies for shopping local:

1. Buy less--holiday gifts can be fewer and simpler, but from my neighborhood store. I got sweet photo albums at Collage (1639 Alberta) for $5-$8.

2. Buy gifts at the grocery store--in this case, the Mexican grocery. La Playita market, next to the taqueria at 28th and Alberta, has $1.74 Saint candles, way funkier and cheaper than some pseudo-schmancy tea light lantern at Pier One and the like.

3. Think tiny--my son adores collections of miniscule treasures, like the homies from La Playita's gumball machine, the beads & trinkets from Picasso's bead shop (30th and Alberta), and the stretchy reptiles at Grasshopper (18th and Alberta).

4. Try art--this is wild, but small works of art are actually some of the better deals out there. The gallery at 3oth Street is hosting a "Tiny Things" show and has fused-glass bugs for $15. Onda (2215 Alberta) has alebrije ornaments for $20.

5. Aim for maximum style with minimal items--one "Anarchy in the Pre-K" shirt from Wild Child (at 14th, see the website at http://www.wildchildpdx.com/Index.html) says more than that outfit from Baby Gap.

Be Thankful and Prepared

Recently, I got a call at work from my husband.  It went something like this:

Husband:  "Hi. I'm in urgent care.  My headache hasn't gone away, I'm waiting for a CAT scan.  I've been here since 2 pm.  Can you pick up the kids?  You might want to call the sitter. I've gotta go."

Me: "Um, sure.  It's a quarter to five.  It's going to take me an hour.  Have you called the sitter?"

Husband: "I haven't had a chance. Can you?  I've gotta go."

Whaa?  The phone call caught me completely by surprise since (a) I usually don't get very many calls from my husband at work (b) we have not yet encountered a bind where I absolutely needed to pick up the kids (c) I only got enough information for all sorts of crazy scenarios to go through my head.

In the end everything turned out fine.  The diagnosis wasn't conclusive but something to the effect that he probably caught a virus and the side effect was a head-splitting migraine that left him unable to function normally for at least a couple of days.  However, for me, this was a good time to reassess our ability to deal with the impact of these worst-case scenarios.  When you're young, healthy, and financially stable you barely give thought to thing ever going wrong in life.  You start thinking about it more when you have kids.  And, then you really think about it when a situation scares you into more thoughtful consideration.

In my head, I made a mental note to check my husband's life insurance policy.  I have one for myself for enough to probably cover our mortgage, but that's it.  So, I googled to figure out how much insurance we would need. The results are dizzying.  According to a simple lookup table of just income replacement, my current insurance coverage probably would not be sufficient if something were to happen to me.  My husband's coverage would also need significant readjustment.  As a family, we do need to make the time to talk seriously about planning for life insurance. 

As I was chatting about this with a mama friend, she suggested also putting together a will.  So I mentioned this to my husband.  He thought this was a good idea.  "Sure.  Can you search for a form on the Internet?" he replied.  Yes, that's right.  That's what my lawyer advised!  There are plenty of documents that you can find or buy on the Internet to plan out your will and file with the local courts.  So, for those who have gone through both processes, it would so nice to hear from you, to see what's worked best for your families.

Tax Filing

Every year, I wonder - should we go to H&R Block, should we find an accountant, should we use Turbo Tax, or should we just wade through the mess ourselves? If I had the time without the kids to worry about, maybe I could dedicate a few hours and do it myself. Right now, that's not an option.

So, can you recommend an accountant? Or should I just use Turbo Tax?

Money Talks

I never got around to putting in my two cents, for which you'll really get the value for your money ;). As I have a background on Wall Street, and an MBA, I'm not only in charge of the money (of which we have none right now, but that's beside the point), but this discussion prompted me to inquire about being a financial advisor. I've rolled over three 401(k) plans and would definitely advise you to do so. It's worth the 30 or so minutes it will take you to do the paperwork. You can set up an IRA anywhere - Schwab has a great program - and once the rollover is in effect, you can have complete control over your money. You can keep it in the same funds, stocks, and bonds that it is now (I think that's called an asset rollover) or you can liquidate and just rollover the funds. Then you can control everything from one simple online interface. Mwa ha ha ha! Most importantly, if you need to request a disbursement for any reason, like buying a new house, paying for medical bills, or generally being broke, you don't have to spend weeks going through the HR department of your old job. No looking up phone numbers in your now-broken palm pilot. No spending hours on hold. It's all right there for you. And, if something should happen to any of your ex-employers - I was in this position twice (one corporate bankruptcy, one psycho tax-evading CEO) - you won't have to worry about your money possibly being held up for months or even years while you go through the legal inner workings of whoever's holding your retirement account. As for investments? I'm a stock girl myself. I pick my own, do my own research, buy stocks of companies whose business models I believe in. We're young yet, and if you have a good feeling for the honesty of the management and the quality of the product, it's hard to go wrong. I'm heavily invested in stocks like eBay, Starbucks, and companies I've worked with in my career (one hospital company was sold recently for a hefty premium to the stock price and they singlehandedly increased my portfolio by 50%. course my portfolio is very small right now given the aforesaid disbursements for general brokeness. just because i'm good with investments doesn't mean i'm good with finding jobs that pay the bills and allow me to work part-time. *sigh*). If I was going with a bond I'd head towards a high-yield bond fund. I could give recommendations if you're interested. These are on the safe side of the spectrum, give a relatively stable yield, and since we're young enough we can handle the risk. I'm very anti-mutual fund but it's a bias. I believe that mutual funds are set up to make their managers rich (and lots of my classmates from business school manage funds like this so I know exactly how rich they are ;). They're so hard to pick because the managers, and philosophies, change often. If you have a good amount of money - say at least $10,000 - it makes ever so much sense to me just to create your own mutual fund. I took the hardest class at business school which required me to develop hedged-risk portfolios. It's super technical but I'd be happy to help you out with picking a carefully risk-averse selection of investments if you're into that. If not? Pick a big reliable company like Fidelity or a local fund manager like Columbia and just go with whatever they're offering. It's a crap shoot after you get past the "is this company going to run off to Costa Rica with my money" question. Bottom line - the performance depends on the fund manager and there are often revolving doors for those positions. Unless you personally know the manager you're not going to get any benefit from researching them. It's all just marketing and you know how that goes. Past performance is no guarantee and all that - returns are truly random. And go with the Oregon savings plan, as someone mentioned you get a tax credit. You won't if you go with another state. I researched it in-depth and the fees and minimums are almost identical. Yeah, the Alaska one is supposed to be great but the Oregon state tax credit offsets any greatness in my mind. Then you can invest lots more and a few percentage points more of 100% of your money is a lot less than a few percentage points less of 150% of your money. If that makes any sense at all ;)

Babysitter (and nanny) tax time

If you paid more than $600 to any one nanny or babysitter this year, you're required by the IRS to report their wages and you may have to pay payroll taxes on their behalf, as well. Either way, you are going to need their social security number and home address, so go ahead and get that now. The question of the day is, are you an employer or a customer of your care provider? There are a couple of questions the IRS considers. First, is the work performed in your home? If all the care takes place under your roof, you're probably going to be considered an employer. Second, assuming that the care takes place outside of your home (in a nanny share, or in the babysitter's home), do you "control not only the work they do but how they do it"? If you do, you are an employer. You might not be an employer if, for instance, you have a nanny share outside your home where the nanny makes her own "lesson plans" and decides when to feed your child, whether to wash the dishes, etc. In this case, your nanny might be the employee of the primary parent (the one whose home in which the care is given), but would not be your employee. Another instance would be a stay-at-home mom who cared for a few other children in her own home. You might be able to get away with calling yourself a customer of your child's caregiver if the care was provided in your home, but your headstrong nanny told you at the beginning how things were going to work. Are you an employer? You may have to pay federal unemployment taxes, medicare and social security on behalf of your employee (you can choose to withhold your employee's portion, or pay it yourself if you're especially generous - or if you didn't think of this until after the wages were paid. Whoops.). Unless your employee is your spouse, child (under 21) or parent, or under 18, you have to pay social security and medicare taxes to the tune of 15.3% of the total wages. If you're withholding, you can withhold 7.65%. If the wages were over $1,000 for the year, and the employee is not your spouse, parent, or child under 21, you have to pay 0.8% of the total cash wages as federal unemployment tax, up to $7,000 of wages. If you have an employee, you need an EIN. You need to obtain one by January 31 of the year following the payment of wages (if you paid wages in 2004, you'll need one by January 31, 2005). You can obtain the EIN by calling 800-829-4933; by submitting a form; or you can apply online. Once you have an EIN, you'll need to submit a W-2 reporting your employee's wages. The form is here, but it's printed with special ink; you'll need to pick one up from a local accountant or order one from the IRS at 800-829-3676. You have to submit one page to the SSA by February 28 along with form W-3. If you're filing electronically, you have until the end of March. The employee's copies are due to the employee "generally by January 31." If you have determined your provider is not an employee, you'll have to submit form 1096. Like the W-2, this is printed with special inks and will have to be requested from 800-829-3676. Also, it is due by February 28 to the government, and as early as possible to your provider. For some reason, I haven't been able to find verification of this on the IRS web site, but an accountant friend told me this is what to do. Oh, and you DO put an "x" in the box, "if this is your final return, put an x here." Now that you've taken care of your care provider, it's time to take care of yourself. In most cases, you'll be able to deduct the child care expenses up to a limit (the worksheet on the form instructions will tell you how much). The form you need: 2441. Attach this to your 1040, enter your child care tax credit on line 47, and watch your refunds roll in. If you're an employer, you'll need to fill out and file Schedule H with your 1040, as well. What if you are the stay-at-home parent I referred to above? You're probably self-employed. If so, read on for more info.