Law & Order stirs vaccination pot

I have vaccinated all my three boys more or less on schedule, but it is more inertia than science; when Everett was born, I wasn't in a community that questioned vaccinations (my husband's best man was a pharmaceutical sales rep, for one), and it wasn't until later that I started wondering if filling babies full of toxins was really the best approach. By then, it was almost time for public school, and I didn't want to face filling out forms stating my "religious" refusal for one child, but not another.

But I know lots of you urbanMamas don't vaccinate; parts of Oregon have some of the highest rates of vaccination avoiders in the country. And last night on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, I felt as if I was seeing one of my friends on trial. After an 11-month-old died from measles -- and her mom, a distracted and turbulent Hillary Duff, buried her in a parking lot, thinking she'd killed her -- it was decided that the real "culprit" was a mom who'd decided not to vaccinate her son. The baby and the little boy had been at the same playground after he'd been infected by an Amish teen with measles. The city of New York put the non-vaccinating mom on trial for murder. Seriously?

Not only were non-vaccinators called out in scathing tones for their lack of medical degrees and their dispassioned uncaring for all others ("I don't make choices for those kids!" said the mom shrilly), but the way the writers portrayed the woman was unforgivable; on the stand, she goes on a rant claiming that the baby would have died anyway, because Hillary Duff's character was a "bad mom" (true, but really) and she was a "good mom" and thus she deserved to get off. She did, much to the disgust of most of the SVU crew, who kvetched about how she'd gotten away with murder. The ending was too complicated and horrifying to describe here.

I was shocked that such an extreme viewpoint, which took the "mommy wars" media invention and ran with it in the ugliest way, was firmly established by a TV show I've often loved as the moral right. Did you watch the show? What did you think? Will you be watching Law & Order again?

Getting your tree: Where is it coming from this year?

I'm working on a project doing some freelance writing for a yet-to-be-launched green site, and I've been learning way too much about the environmental impact of everything I do (as if it wasn't already enough!). One thing I've discovered recently is that Christmas trees are often grown with lots of pesticides. I mean, I'm not eating the tree, but it's likely that my 17-month-old, Monroe, is getting his fair share of pine needle ingestion.

So I thought more about where to get my tree this year. In last year's discussion about Christmas trees, we noted a lot selling organic, "local" Christmas trees on 25th and SE Division (it's still there this year). I asked friends to recommend organic tree sellers and was advised to just buy anywhere -- after all, Christmas trees are a huge industry in Oregon (so not getting a local tree would be ridiculous) and they "grow like weeds" so very few pesticides are needed. On the other hand, this article points to widespread herbicide and fungicide use to obtain "perfect" trees.

I decided that we would get it through Cafe au Play, who's selling trees to raise funds to help open the planned family-friendly coffee shop and community center at 58th and SE Division. The trees are from Timber Ridge Tree Farm in Molalla and were very well-priced -- we paid $20 for a very lovely, big grand fir. I was unable to find out whether or not Timber Ridge used many pesticides; maybe next year we'll use capella's great idea: buying a new potted tree every year and plant it; after a few years we can start cutting the older trees down (and buying a new one to replace it) for our *own* Christmas tree farm. That sounds wonderfully "green." Where did you get your tree? Was its green-ness a factor in your decision?

It's Fat Tuesday! Are you (and your family) giving something up for Lent?

I suddenly realized yesterday that Wednesday -- that's tomorrow!! -- is the beginning of Lent. I'm an Episcopalian by marriage, and my favorite part of the faith that's different from my Baptist roots is Lent. The concept of sacrificing something in concert with millions of others is a ritual that feels right in my bones.

Since I've recently joined the 'eat local' movement, I've been eliminating processed, industrial foods from my family's diet. One exception (of several) I've made up until now has been sugar -- though I've sworn off packaged cookies and candies and the like, I've been buying pound after pound of organic sugar and baking it into all kinds of high-glycemic goodies. I think that I'm giving up sugar (but not honey, as it's local and thoroughly part of nature) for Lent.

The problem with me giving up sugar is that, as chief baker for a houseful I've dragged along on mission: eat local, I'm forcing the rest of my family to give it up, too. Forced religion or good mojo? I can't decide. Are you giving up anything for Lent? Is your family, too, an unwilling participant in your sacrifice?

Children and their religion

There are many things that have got me thinking about this subject of late, and I know we have had short chats about it in the past -- "Why does Eleanor celebrate Annika?" and Religion after Kids.  Recently, our family been dealing with the loss of two loved ones, and our faith is surfacing.  We have also decided to prepare our oldest daughter for some of her first Catholic sacraments.  And, of course, with Hannukah and Christmas and many more holidays on their way, it's gotten me thinking.

Do you consider yourself religious?  What do you choose to pass on to your children?  What do you choose to NOT pass on?

Jewish Moms Group

Debby, the fearless organizer of JMamas, has arranged for another get-together.  See below:

Portland JMamas (Jewish moms) are getting together on Saturday, February 24 at 10am at Extracto on 2921 NE Killingsworth St., across from Milagros and Cup and Saucer. JMoms, Jkids, and even JDads welcome! We will be making plans for a family pot luck seder on April 7th or 8th (night 6 or 7 of Passover) so be sure to join us and bring your great ideas! For more information about the group, get-together, or joining our yahoo group, please contact Debby, mousecat86@aol.com

Jewish Mama Get-Together

In a recent thread on urbanMamas on Happy Holidays, many Jewish mamas expressed interest in getting together.  If you're interested, please email Debby at Mousecat86@aol.com.

I was wondering if the other J-Mamas (Jewish moms) who posted that they would like to meet could email  me privately so we can start planning a time and place to get together? I would hate to see us forget to do this with all of the excitement of the holidays (Chinese food and movies) and new year (Rosh Hashana the sequel???).  I look forward to meeting everyone.

UPDATE: Debby emailed to let us know she's had a great response of interested mamas wanting to get together. Join other Jewish mamas at an informal gathering on Saturday, January 13, 10am at Urban Grind.

Religion after kids

Erica's post got me to thinking about how my attitude toward religion has changed since I had kids. My beliefs are basically the same as they always were -- I'm a pretty secular gal -- but I do find myself drawn to the traditions of organized religion. Something else, too...I find religion connects me to the older generations of my family, if only by association.

My parents taught me very little about my religious and cultural background. It never mattered to me until now, when I find myself totally unequipped to answer my kids' questions about our beliefs and history. I'm scraping along, but it's pretty seat of the pants sometimes.

And so, I'm looking into religious education for my kids (Sunday school sort of thing). I hope to learn along with them. I also hope that, whatever religion they ultimately follow (or not), they will understand the religion they were born into -- even if our family doesn't subscribe to the particulars. They'll at least have a starting point from which to begin their exploration.

"Why does Eleanor celebrate Annika?"

On our ride home from school the other day, Jackson asked me, "Why does Eleanor celebrate Annicka?"  I found myself stuck.  I don't know how to discuss religion at all.  I guess my biggest concern is trying to discuss the idea of a God and/or Jesus without sounding like too much of a skeptic.  Jackson's question made me realize that I am pretty certain I don't believe in a God or Jesus.  But, I want to let him make his own decisions about religion.  As a kid, I went to Sunday school up to my first communion and attended a Jewish day camp.  I preferred Friday's challah bread and grape juice to Sunday's communion wafers. 

My concern is that I'm only showing Jackson the commercial side of Christmas.  I don't know how to explain the religious aspect of the holiday from an objective point of view.  Lately, we've been heading into the church after school (his school is in part of the church) because Jackson likes to check out the stained glass and the beautiful Christmas tree.  I find myself wondering if I should take him for a service one Sunday.  Or, maybe like me, he just prefers to admire the beautiful church interior and the enjoy quiet open space.

Does anyone know of a good way to introduce religion?  Maybe a book that presents all different religions and belief systems.  Is 3 too early to be trying to discuss religion?  I'd love any suggestions.