Pdx City Council Candidates: Family-Friendly? You Decide.

You might recall that in the past month or so we were all busy having coffee with a bunch of candidates for city council seats 1 and 2.  Telling them what matters to us in case they get elected, and finding out whether they earn the family-friendly vote.  We're not endorsing a soul.  But we did ask all of the candidates we met with to tell us why Portland parents should vote for them - in 200 words or less.  My attention span is that short.  Read why the four candidates for Seat 1 that we met with think we families should vote for them.  Over on Activistas. 

Activistas is Facebooking: Join Us!

We talked about Facebooking awhile back, and I chuckled to myself since I'd never even considered it.  LInked In, sure, but Facebook?  Twitter?  MySpace?  Not this mama.  Too old, right??   But who says you can't teach old dogs new tricks??

So, now we're live @ Activistas Pdx.  Join the group.  Help us make it work.  One more way we can connect to make the changes we all want to see.   See you there, mamas.

Are there grants available for housing?

It absolutely takes a village, and part of our goal in building the urbanMamas community is to offer resources and guidance to all.  We received a recent email from a mama just outside Salem requesting help accessing grants or other financial assistance to buy a home:

My name is Starla I live in Stayton, OR.  I am 37 years old, single for 9 years. I have 3 kids each with a different type of mental disorder. My daughter is 14 with OCD, Trichotillomania, OCD Hoarder and ADD. One son is 12 with Autism/Asperger’s, PDD and ADHD.  Last but not least my 10 year old son with Bi-Polar and ADHD. My children are my world.  We moved to OR from CA so I can get my children more help through the school and Therapist, things are doing so much better here. I have a Home Day Care, that is so I can be more convenient when I have to drive my children to all of their appointments (therapist, Med Prescribers, a Home Skill Worker, or school teachers or counselors). I just went back to college in Oct. 2007, this is the start for me to a whole new career; my goal is to be a family Therapist for children with mental disorders.

Being a single parent with children with mental disorders, my job options are limited and the so are my finances. I would love to be able to buy a home for us.  I am renting a duplex so the maximum number of children that I can have in my Daycare is limited to 5 children.  If I had a home I would be able to have 10, and that would double my income.  Also my children are loud and they bother the neighbors on the other side of the wall (the neighbors know about my children and their mental disorders).  It is hard enough to try to control the children, and - when a neighbor comes over and gets in the middle of it - that makes it much harder.  My son (the one who has Autism) thinks that the neighbors want to kill him and I can’t get him to play outside, and he thinks that the owner want to kick us out (they don’t).  He lives in fear all the time. My daycare children are wonderful, and my children love them.  They all get along with the great.

If there is a grant that can help my buy a home for us that would help us out so much.

What are resources statewide (or even in Portland that could potentially have similar programs in other cities) that you could suggest? 

Stimulate this! Great ideas for using your economic stimulus package

As soon as I heard about Bush's Economic Stimulus plan, I started in with the subversion. I'd use my stimulus check to buy things, but entirely not the things Bush and big retail corporations wanted me to. My debit card wouldn't be swiped at Target or Sears or Olive Garden; with the whopping $2,100 my family will get (we have three children) I wouldn't buy a single gallon of premium unleaded gas, nor sink a nickel into video poker machines (I'm scandalized and saddened that's where Oregon's kicker went). No. I'd buy things that would work gently against big government and big big oil.

I made a promise to myself that I would spend my economic stimulus money on things that would save me from spending future fossil fuels, future money and future greenhouse gases. I decided I would invest my stimulus package into my little urban homestead's soil, air, and food stores. I'd get off the grid, just a bit, I'd use it to live lighter. I made a list of ideas and (helped by a substantial tax rebate) I've already started in on it. Do you have any ideas to add to the list? Where will your stimulus package go?

• A family bike. I bought this Electra Townie + Xtracycle + Bobike seat from Clever Cycles for about $1500; you could do it a lot cheaper ($450-$600) if you had a base bike to use (you could even use an old Schwinn). I'm waiting for another Bobike seat for Truman. I can transport all three boys on it! There are lots more thoughts about family biking here.
• A couple of garden boxes, fertilizer, compost, seeds and starts. It seems as if I'm not the only one thinking about this! Lots of your great vegetable gardening advice here.

Recycling for a Cause

Earth day had me thinking a lot about the waste generated/collected in our small house.  Then I started obsessing over spring cleaning.  Now I have notes scattered throughout the house about the Plastic Roundups, the Neighborhood Hazardous Waste Roundup, and various other close to home dumping events. But wouldn't it be nice if it was all taken care of for us? A mama wonders:

I like helping people.  I hate waste.  I hate feeding bottles into a machine.  I like tax deductions.  These things seem like they all naturally add up to charitable donations of recyclable bottles and cans.  This has been harder to find than I expected.  Does anyone know of a school, scout troop, homeless shelter, who will come to my house, take my recyclables, and give me a receipt?  Bonus points for a group that does it on a regular basis (i.e. they call me every month or two and say "it's time...").

April 29 = Last Day to Register to Vote

Andrea has the May election on her mind (hard not to with all those yard signs popping up around town).  She wrote in to remind everyone that April 29th is the very last day you can register to vote 'round here.  She writes:

I am more excited to vote this year than I have been in a long time. Probably since I cast my first ballot.  The last 8 years have been long, so it's thrilling to think about what's possible with new leadership.  But there's another reason to be excited.  Even though the battle over the Democratic nomination is getting tiresome , it means that the votes of Oregonians will really matter this year.  Unlike primaries in other years, where the presidential candidate was decided long before May 20th, this year Oregonians will have their say.  Only one problem...you have to be registered as a Democrat to choose between these two candidates.  Hear more from Andrea and find all the right voter registration links over on Activitsas.  The clock is ticking, mamas, so hurry!

What's it like: NW Portland near Chapman?

Oh, the search for the right neighborhood can be exciting but tough!  An urbanMama emails:

We've recently moved to Portland and we've been in the midst of house hunting. We had our hearts set on the Sellwood/Westmoreland/Eastmoreland area, based on the things we'd heard from other parents about the area and our own impressions of the place. But we just found a wonderful house in the NW right near Chapman school off of 23rd that is perfect for us. Though it's obviously pretty darn different than Sellwood, we do like the amazing offerings all within walking distance or easy streetcar access in that area, and we've heard good things about that school cluster. But I'm a little concerned that we'll be the very rare family with small kids in that neighborhood.  Does anyone else live around there or have thoughts about moving there as a growing family?

Activistas Turns 1: Help us decide what's next

It's true.   urbanMamas birthed Activistas on 4.28.07 with a post on the annual SOLV clean-up. A 1st birthday is a good excuse to get together and drink some Stumptown coffee if you ask me.  Plus, lately we've been kicking it up a notch with local campaigns, direct action, and some decent publicity for our cause.  The mamagenda is alive and well, and if we keep this thing moving, we might just cross some things off our (very long) list.  So let's put our heads together, mamas, and do a little planning.  Details on Activistas.

Pining over someplace else

We all know that Portland's da bomb.  We wouldn't be here if it weren't.  There are lots of us who have shared that we come from many different places.  Recently, though, I've been thinking.... 

We were away for spring break to explore all that is Von Trapp (some of you know that I have two little girls obsessed with the Sound of Music).  During our time away from the States, we started to wonder: "Could we be better suited in a place outside the US?"  I found myself wanting to live in a place where farmer's markets were commonplace and the way-of-doing-business, not where farmer's markets needed subsidizing, organizing, planning, or all the rest.  I found myself wanting to live in a place where walking or cycling were the primary modes of transportation, not where cars were the dominant vehicle.  I found myself wanting to live in a place where space was efficient, not where space was just another thing to fill with all our goods.

Don't get me wrong.  We love Portland.  But, we just got this feeling that we just can't seem to shake.

Do you ever have this feeling?  The feeling of wanting to live somewhere other than Portland, OR?  The feeling of pining over someplace else?  Perhaps places outside of America?  Perhaps where you have lived before?  Perhaps to be closer to family?  Have you lived "abroad"? 

Or, do you know for certain that Portland is the place for you and your family?

Today's the Day! Join us to Chat with City Council Candidates

We plan to learn where the candidates stand on issues related to raising a family in Portland and share our thoughts on what should/could be done, as well.  Share the mamagenda, so to speak.  We'll be at Urban Grind NE this Saturday morning 3.22.08: Jim Middaugh @ 9:15 and Nick Fish @ 10.  We will share our mamagenda with the candidates and hear what they plan to do to make Portland as familiy-friendly as it can be.  Bring your kids to play, we'll happily talk over them!  Get the full scoop over on Activistas - see you there!

Portland's 2007 Survey Results

What do Portland residents say about their neighborhoods and city services?  The City Auditor's office has released the 2007 Resident Survey Results.  About 20,000 surveys were analyzed of a total of 64,000 or so that went out to the 75 neighborhoods in Portland.  The results are formated in a very accessible way, so you can search results by your neighborhood or by question/issue (to see how all the neighborhood responses compare by specific issue).

Check it out when you have time and learn more about our different neighborhoods ....

Talk with City Council Candidates: Seat 2, Round 2

We enjoyed meeting several candidates for Sam Adams' seat (#1) on the Portland City Council a few weeks back.  We got a feel for where they stand on issues affecting families and how tuned in (or out!) they are to the issues that matter most to us.  So we're rarin' to talk some more with two candidates for Erik Sten's seat (#2): Nick Fish and Jim Middaugh.  Curious what they're like in person?  How in touch they are with your mamagenda?  Got an issue you'd like to share, get some feedback on?  Thought you might.  The more we get these folks thinking about the mamagenda, the more likely they are to support it once in office.

So Join Us. We'll be at Urban Grind NE this Saturday morning 3.22.08 (check back for exact times - think 10 AM).  We plan to share our mamagenda with the candidates and hear what they plan to do to make Portland as familiy-friendly as it can be.  Bring your kids to play, we'll happily talk over them!  RSVP over on Activistas.

Can't Make It?  No worries.  Head over to Activistas and share you burning questions and opinions in the comments section.  We'll be sure to pass them along!

Welcome to Auction Season!

The auction season is well on its way, as the recent Portland Public School e-newsletter alerted us.  We have two children at separate schools, and we have already worked the events, scoured businesses for donations, wined & dined at the event.  Have  you?

Our two schools are very different in nature: one more established institution with a large group of well-connected parents that brings in the school enough money to buy a small house (in some parts of the country) and one newer school whose auction this year was only its 3rd and still has much more room to grow.

Well, here are some things I never knew about the world of PPS auctions:

• Auctions helped schools raise over $1M in 2007
• The Portland School Board allows a school to keep the first $10,000 raised.
• A third of anything above the $10,000 raised is given to an "Equity Fund" at the Portland Schools Foundation for distribution through grants to schools across the district.  "It’s one way for schools to spread the wealth."

Says PPS:

The school district and foundation are sensitive to the fact that some school communities have the resources to raise money, while others don’t. But years of budget cutbacks have left all schools scrambling to maintain academic support for students and programs such as the arts, PE and library. Half of PPS schools receive federal Title I funds because they serve higher-than-average shares of kids from lower-income homes. Title I revenue is far greater than any amount raised at auctions, but those schools have greater needs, and still have trouble maintaining their programs.

Auction season is unique to Portland (and perhaps Oregon) schools.  It is a sign of our inability to fund complete programs at our schools.  Friends with children at schools in the Bay Area, New York, or New Jersey say that auctions are uncommon.  Some schools with endowments (!) will have auctions to fundraise to maintain and grow their endowments.  But, here in Portland, schools established or not are raising funds for enrichment programs, to build libraries, to fund improvements at their schools.  On some days, it makes me angry.

Other days, I do appreciate being given the opportunity to contribute time and effort to my school community, and to get to know other parents in the process.  Auction planning can be fun and auction-going  can be funner.

We'd love to hear your thoughts on auction season.  Do you get involved?  Do you go?  Do you know what programs or improvements at your school auction proceeds fund?  Have you had your auction yet?  Or, have always seen signs for the auction but cannot / don't want to go?  Does your school have a non-auction major fundraiser?

Mayoral Candidate Forum: LOCATION UPDATE

Thanks to all who weighed in on the time and place for mayoral candidates (Sam 'n' Sho) to talk family.  Majority of responses suggested Close-in Eastside as the preferred geography for the event, scheduled for Saturday, April 19, at 1PM.

Now: we're scouring for ideas for an easily accessible close-in eastside location that can hold up to 100 of us mamas & papas & our kids of all ages.  Some suggestions have included Milagros, Kennedy School, Kaiser Town Hall, Multnomah Building.  We're looking for more suggestions.  Ideas, ideas?  Anyone, anyone?

Mamas creating change together: Yes, No, Maybe so?

I think it's fair to say we all learned a good bit about each other a few weeks back when we recognized uM diversity.  For me, it hit home that while yes, we are all are mamas, we maintain the same differences we had before becoming parents.  Differences in education, income, background, race, dreams, age, marital status, tastes, friends, politics, cars, you name it.  But happily, parenting also connects us for the first time, entices us across barriers, bringing women together who would not have found each other otherwise.  Not that it's always a love-fest, mind you.

I bring this up (hesitantly! again!) because I'm writing a piece on the current state of the so-called 'mother's movement,' and I wonder if our differences are a serious show-stopper in all this, or (hopefully) not.  Head over to Activistas to read an excerpt from Jennifer Niesslein of Brain, Child magazine on this we-are-all-mamas-but-we-are-not-all-the-same-mamas discussion.  And help me sort out whether our differences will prevent our political success or will we manage to sit down together and create some serious change (case in point: check out the Activista events on 4.5.08 and 4.17.08).  Do you feel like you're part of this mothers movement thing?  Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.  Depends on how much coffee I've had, I think.  But then, doesn't everything?!

Mayoral Candidates talk FAMILY

Activistas are on a roll of late with helping mamas and papas connect with local officials.  Read more about the Mayoral Candidates talking FAMILY and the session in the works.  Be sure to weigh in on time & place so you can be there!

Kids and Strangers

We encounter many folks we don't know in any given day. Back when I was a child, I was ingrained with concepts that strangers were bad: never talk to strangers and definitely never go with someone you don't know. Nowadays, we have a feeling that the stranger talk is a bit different, but definitely still important. How do you approach the topic with the children? What are core concepts and messages that you have given your children?

Julia emails:

Along the lines of people knocking at your door and safety, I am wanting to know how to bring all of this up to my 4 year old twins. They now know how to unlock and open our front door. I have had the conversation of not opening the door to ANYONE, to come and get mom or dad, and I will keep this conversation going. My question is, at this young age, how do I really start the stranger/safety conversation without making them scared of everyone who walks by?

Sharing Your Mamagenda ~ 01.28.08

I know, I know, we're all wrapped up in national politics these days. Hard not to be what with all the excitement - even if we've been benched by our May 20th primary (boohoo).  So why not dive in to some elections that we CAN participate in, mamas?  There are loads of local and state elections this Spring, including three important races in the city of Portland: one for mayor and two for city council.  And the good news, mamas, is that council candidate John Branam (current development director for PPS) invited us (yeah, you!) to tell him what we think the city of Portland should be doing for families. Read more and share your list with us  - and John - over on Activistas.

Do you get a lot of knocks on your door?

The other night, at 8:37pm, there was an unexpected knock on the door.  Though it is not unusual for us to have visitors come in and out of our front door, it is a bit unusual for someone to come by completely unannounced.  I got a bit nervous and asked my husband to get the door.  Turns out, it was someone campaigning for global warming.  My husband had to question a few times to make sure that she was against global warming and not "for" it.

In our three years at this house, we have been solicited 3 times.  Once, someone came to our yard while we were playing, he made small talk, asked about the kids, then eventually sat us down and tried to sell us this whole "educational reading kit", to which I kindly declined.  When he was frustrated that he couldn't make a sale, he said, "Are you telling me that you don't care about your children's educational advancement?"  I said, "No.  I am telling you that I would like you to leave now."

Once, on a very cold evening, I had a visit from an OSPIRG representative.  While I can recongize that it takes a committed person to canvass neighborhoods door-to-door and make connections person-to-person, we don't usually respond well to soliciations at the door.  I said I'd look up OSPIRG and take a look at supporting.  I think I may have signed a petition of theirs.

The third time, there was a neighborhood fellow who came to the door, asking us if we needed the lawn mowed or any other housework done.  We had just done a lot of housework that weekend, so I was not lying when I said that we weren't needing help at that time.  Before I was able to close the door, the neighborhood fellow started saying, "I just wanted to let you know that there are a lot of crazy people out there...."  And, I thanked him for his time and thoughts and said, "Good day."

Just moments ago, I received an email from our neighborhood association, indicating that there was some fraudulent fundraising afoot.  People have been soliciting funds, door-to-door, in a nearby neighborhood, raising money for the local high school or community center.  The email also indicated that these groups were not fundraising door-to-door, and that these people were probably looking to prey on the homes where they were soliciting.

So, we are wondering: Do you receive a lot of unexpected knocks on your door?  Are they friends or neighbors?  Do you often encounter door-to-door solicitors in your neighborhood?  Have you encountered fraudulent fundraising in your neighborhood?

We want to thank you

Dear Mamas,

In the past week, we have discussed the many ways that we are both inclusive and exclusive.  Over 100 mamas shared about themselves, and we are certain that we are mamas of babies, toddlers, school-aged children, and teenagers; we are in our 20s, 30s, and 40s; we are single and we are partnered; we are financially strapped and we are comfortable; we are mamas and we are papas.

We, the mamas of urbanMamas, strive to constantly improve the site.  While we want to be inclusive, we are not always.  The content you find here is largely reader-driven.  We appreciate your emails every day with suggested posts, events, links to resources.  We want to take this opportunity to encourage you all continue: Send in your questions!  Email us free events in the community!  Want to help coordinate an event?  Let us know!  And, share with us important resources that would benefit some of the mamas out there.

Peace,
urbanMamas
urbanMamas@gmail.com

When it's a "SNOW DAY", what do you do?

As much as I love the sight of puffy white stuff coming from the sky, I dread how it can have an effect on our schedules.  Today, a Saturday, is a great day for a snow day, a day to stay inside and watch the flakes come down.  But, if the weather is like this on Monday, a school day, and if our school is closed (see HERE for the PPS inclement weather e-hotline), what are we to do, if it is supposed to be a work day for us?  If you work outside the home and have a "snow day" school closure, what do you do?

Welcome to uM's School Connections

In our informal gathering of parents who discussed their experiences with Portland Public Schools and the choice that goes along with it, we heard that many mamas and papas would like the opportunity to connect with other parents at other schools.  Parents are interested in hearing from other parents: how do they like their schools?  How do they not like their schools?

We have created the urbanMamas School Connections forum, in an effort to connect parents at schools.  Have at it and share as you always have.  We haven't started threads on all the schools yet, so if you want to hear about a specific school, shoot us an email and we'll have it up asap. 

Introducing the 'Guestivista' Series

While I seem to have enough opinions to keep Activistas busy (too many opinions, my husband would be the very first to tell you!), I can only imagine that one person's writing and one person's viewpoint can just make you yawn after awhile.  So... we plan to remedy this situation by sharing other Activistas' opinions and perspectives - and even a picture of themselves, their kids, their shoe, whatever (as long as it's not raunchy), if they want. 

What, exactly, is in this for you???  The opportunity to 'meet' other Activistas and hear their take on things, and, of course, get a break from me (even I need one once in awhile)!  For obvious reasons, we're calling this the Guestivista series.  Read more about it over on Activistas and don't forget to check back to 'meet' our very first, absolutely fascinating Guestivista...

Single Mamahood: What is it REALLY like?

Mamahood comes in different forms.  Some mamas have a partner who may be a papa or another mama.  Some mamas are separated or unpartnered for other reasons.  Some mamas are single mamas by choice.  We want to hear what single mamahood is really all about, and we recently received email:

I recently had a friend come to me asking about being a single mother. She just discovered that she is pregnant with someone whom she just broke up with. I would really like to give her as much information as I can so that she has some knowledge draw on as she decides whether or not to become a single parent. I can share with her my own story but I know there must be more information out there than that.  I have done a umamas search on single parents but most of what I find is about single parents groups, etc. Does anyone out there know of any resources, beyond the standard WIC, Planned Parenthood and the like where my friend can get information about being a single parent, not necessarily JUST about the process of choosing or deciding against abortion?  I'd really appreciate any kind of feedback that anyone has to give.  Thanks again for being such a wealth of knowledge and support!

Can you offer insight on the Kenton 'hood?

We are sure many of us can relate to moving into undiscovered territory.  Can you lend your insight to a mama considering a move into Kenton in North Portland?

We're looking at moving to the Kenton neighborhood with our 2 and 3 year old but have some reservations about the neighborhood. Any advice/info/insight from Mom's who already live there would be great. Coming from the highly walkable and community oriented Alberta Arts makes it seem like a big transition.

Barack @ Moms Rising on You Tube

Where else could I catch Barack Obama live at a Moms Rising event back in September '06?  And what better night to watch it than the night he wins the Iowa primary (with the most women voters, oh my!)?  It's not that I haven't read about him, about his family, his kids, his approach, his persona, and - the biggie - his views on family policies.  Oh I have, and I remain undecided between him and Hillary (not that Oregon's May primary actually gives me a say, mind you).  Get the You Tube link over on Activistas and be sure to tell us what you think.  Know any other Activista-related You Tubes that you think we just can't be without?  Do tell.

Mama Resolutions for 2008

The last time we talked mama resolutions, we had just kicked off 2006.  Our whole family has been talking about it for the past week or so, mulling over ways we can focus on ways to bring us closer as a family and ways to strengthen ourselves independently.  After an autumn wrought with greyness and stress of the endless juggle, we are looking forward to the new year.  Here are a few top items that I am thinking of:

1.  Enjoy the little moments with the kids.  It is so easy to flip out and lose my top when the kids move to slow or refuse to put on appropriate clothing or disagree with me.  Alas, it's just not worth the battle, often times.  I resolve to make the little things in each day more fun, to make time time to tickle them each day, to make fun out of those chores or activities they dread.

2.  Spend more quality time with my spouse.  My husband and I spent part of yesterday clearing out some old boxes in our desks.  We stumbled across photos, notes, journal entries, and love letters that we wrote to each other from the last millenium.  It was fun and refreshing to see how in love we were are.  In the new year, we resolve to enjoy each other more, bicker about the little things less, express ourselves to one another more, and be more affectionate with one another.

3.  Try to read more.  I have mama brain to the max.  I don't think I have read a book cover-to-cover since my pregnancy with my first daughter back in the summer of 2000.  I got a new book for Christmas, and maybe even the book group will encourage me to settle in with a good book and enhance my perspective on life.  I resolve to read more, even if it's just one non-work, non-parenting book this year.

4.  Get organized.  We are serious this year.  We have clumps and piles of stuff everywhere, from old no-longer-used toys to papers, books, important documents scattered throughout.  We resolve to go paperless whenever possible to decrease clutter, purge and revamp our home filing system to make it more efficient and accessible, and reuse or recycle old items that we no longer use. 

5.  Use postal mail and revive our letter-/note-writing.  Yesterday, one of our girls wrote a note to her friend, telling her how much she missed her over this winter break.  She addressed the letter and put a stamp on it and asked me to walk her to the mailbox.  Our family is extremely delinquent with thank-you cards, and we resolve to take time to handwrite thank you notes and other notes to send mail out to our friends and family, even if they live just a few miles away.

We'd love to hear more from you -- what are your hopes and dreams for 2008?  What are you determined to accomplish -- for yourself, for your partner, for your children?

Happy New Year, Activistas!

It's hard to believe that Activistas isn't even 1 yet.  So while we can't exactly have a birthday party for ourselves, the New Year presents the perfect opportunity to reflect and, natch, dream for 2008.  Curious where we Activistas were in 2007?  Where we're headed for '08?  Read more & tell us what you'd like Activistas to do/be/cover in '08 - we'd love to hear what you think. 

And... don't forget to grab the January issue of Metro Parent - Activistas is making its debut in this issue, the first of a monthly column.  Yahoo!  A great way to kick off a new year, expanding our voice to make community and political involvement easier for busy parents in the Portland area.  I'll raise a glass to that (even if it is sparkling cider)!! 

The Season of Giving: Adopt-A-Family Update

We did it!  We collected a LOT of food and gifts from 13 uM families on Sunday at Urban Grind NE and delivered it to the Salvation Army on the 18th. They, in turn, will pass it along to 'our family' on the 20th.  This was a true collective effort, bringing together uM families from all over Portland to give this mama and her three kids a little lift for the holidays.  Read more about it over on Activistas.  If you missed us this year, no worries - we aim to make this an annual Activistas tradition.

Wish lists: for our mama community

Things have not been (how shall I say?) "easy" for me this year, and talking with other mamas, I find that several of us have had an unfortunate Year: 2007. The Golden Pig may be auspicious, but it hasn't been working out great for us.

While we all hope that our fates will re-align come 2008, I find myself often both asking and (not) answering the question, "what can I do to help?" and finding that it's a difficult topic. What can we do? Often, the thing we need is harder than the reason for needing it. If I could get a wish this holiday season, it might be something like this:

• If it's late at night, and you're scared about pregnancy/labor/a strange rash, don't be afraid to call and ask me to give advice/get medicine/make you feel not so alone.
  
• Come over and watch the boys for a half-hour so I can get out of the house.
• Appear at my door with fresh-baked treats.
• If you see me headed to the store/coffee shop, ask me to pick something up for you. I won't mind.
• When I ask how you are, be honest. Let me help.
• Never mind the state of my bathroom.
• Take my children to your house to play, sometimes. Be patient with them, even if I can't.
• Know that I thank you, that I feel your gratitude too, that there is no need for cards, unless sending them makes you happy.

What's your wish for your community?

urbanMamas poster gals for Portland blogging culture

Horn-tootin' time! A few weeks ago, Steve Woodward from the Oregonian emailed asking about just why Portland is such a great town for blogging? Turns out we've been ranked the second best blogging city in the nation (behind Austin, Texas: ironically, the originator of the 'keep Portland weird' campaign. Austin has to be first in everything, waaah!). Today the article was published on the front page of the 'Living' section and I was pleased to see both me and betsywhim (who contributes to, like, 30 blogs) representing the Portland blognoscenti. You can find the article here online but it's lots easier to read in print.

We know why we think Portland is such a good blogging town (and I'll quote myself): because Portland is so rainy and, more often than not, you're stuck inside and can't interact at the playground or the beach -- blogging is a way of connecting. It's also because you all are so non-judgmental and supportive, contrary to what we hear in the news and see on Other Cities' Communities. I think another aspect is that writers are drawn to Portland for its literary scene and bunches of us are spilling out our literary guts in blogs. What do you think?

Adopt-A-Family with Activistas ~ 12.16.07

We are really excited about this!  I, for one, have wanted to "adopt" a family at the holidays for years, and finally just decided that 2007 was the year.  I have always participated in a holiday "store" through work, but this is different.  For me, this is a more personal connection to a very real local mama who needs a little help making the holidays great for her three kids.  Get the details & RSVP over on Activistas.  It'll be fun to connect, let the kids play, and  - most importantly - share any extra that we might have.   See you there!

All I Want for Christmas Is My...

Since there are no kids in our house this year with missing teeth (we're still teething), the list is wide open.  Well, not quite.  If you remove the drum set and pink play fridge, that is.  Anyway.  I hope you'll help us fill in the top five slots on the Activistas wish list this year. 

Try this on: If you could tell Very Important People at the state level just what your family needs for Christmas (from them, claro, not Santa), what would it be?  If we don't put it on our list, mamas, the politicelves might just fulfill someone else's list, 'cause as you know, there is no shortage. 

Support one, support all: Mama groups

I've written a lot on my personal blog about mamas' groups, and how much I love them. How they've been my lifeline many a time. It's hard, you know? Being a mama. It's simultaneously isolating and stifling; it brings all your hiddenmost issues to the surface, changing your skin from calloused to transparent in an instant.

Though I have all you, and we get together a lot, and I have my friends to hang out with on holidays and birthdays and knitting days, I don't really have a group right now. And I feel like I need one -- and I know lots of you need one too.

While you all might be organizing groups offline, it's  likely many of you haven't the time or energy to coordinate. And putting together a bunch of groups individually (while it's certainly a goal) seems daunting. So what about just setting a time and a place and having those who can come, come, and separate into little groups? As I see it we need:

• Book group (yay!)
• Single mamas support
• Careers for mamas returning to work
• Partners of alcoholics (etc.)
• New mamas
• Challenged mamas (whose children are difficult or developmentally delayed or diagnosed with SID ill or...)
• Lonely mamas (that probably defines most of us!)

'Tis the Season for Thanks & Giving

We briefly discussed volunteer opportunities earlier this year, but the holidays are a good time to introduce your kids to giving back.  Shayne recently wrote to us inquiring about volunteering with young kids.  She writes:

Our family has been trying to come up with a way to volunteer our time this holiday break.  We were thinking something along the lines of driving gifts or food to home bound seniors.  Does anyone know of a program or church that facilitates this sort of thing.  Any other ideas for local volunteering with young kids?

What's in your safety talk?

On a day like today, there will be kids of all ages on the streets of all neighborhoods.  When I was growing up, I was indoctrinated with the idea that there were syringes in my Halloween candy.  All our items needed to be screened by adults first.  Then, there was the year that bad things got so bad in the candy batches and the year that the teenagers were not only throwing eggs but also broken glass bottles -- that I was only allowed to go to "Safe Streets", the area in the neighborhood where all households were somehow certified "safe" and cops were at every corner.  From that year on, I recall that I was only allowed to go to "Safe Streets" for our trick or treating.

Our added twist to Halloween this year in Portland is that Jack McClellan is in our midst, and he has re-launched his website, posting the best places to watch girls in Portland.

What things do you tell your children so they know what is "safe" and what is not?  What precautions do you take for yourselves to be most aware of the community around you?  We have had some great suggestions on a previous conversation, "Knowing is Half the Battle", but we would love to hear more...

How to ease transition for tots?

Haven't many of us been in Cindy's shoes?  Can you make suggestions for how she can help make a smooth transition with their toddler?

We will be heading up to Portland from San Francisco in three weeks with our 2.5 year old son and this is our first time moving long distance with a child. Can any mamas out there share advice on how to move with your toddler? What is the best way to help him cope with all the changes, from the physical move itself (boxes everywhere, packing away his things) to saying goodbye to friends, school and life as he knows it? What wisdom do you have on transitioning upon arrival in the City of Roses?

It's going to be difficult for all of us...we're very sad about leaving, but are super excited for Portland to become our home. It seems that many mamas on the list have been in our shoes before. Please, please, please share your experiences, resources on getting settled, etc. THANKS!

Help a Single Mama in Need

our urbanMamas community is tight and supportive of all mamas.  A mama emailed the other day and would love to hear from the rest of the community:

This is a little different than I normally read on the site, but I need support in a big way. I lost my job yesterday and I am the sole breadwinner in my single-parent family. I have a 2 year old, and receive no child support. My family is going to help me, but I'm still feeling a tremendous amount of stress and guilt. I sent my daughter to day care today and I will continue to do that as much as I can to keep things normal while I look for a job. Obviously, my mood has been one of anxiety and distraction lately, as I was anticipating the AX falling at any minute for the past 2 weeks. I think I am holding up well around her so far, but I don't know what the future will bring us, if we will have to sell the house and move, or even leave Portland (sob!). Since this happened, I have heard many stories of people who have been "terminated" from their jobs for various reasons (in my case, they have been wanting me gone for 2 years and were just waiting for the right set of circumstances to occur) and they did work again! I have been reading articles on Monster.com about how to tell a perspective employer you were fired without it getting you booted out the door. It's helpful, but this is still scary. I am on my way out the door right now to go apply for unemployment, but I wanted to hear from others if they have been through similar situations and how they dealt with it, especially while caring for little ones. Single parent responses especially welcome.

Eek! We got a D!

As you may have read in today's Oregonian, Children First for Oregon gave us a D on our 2007 report card.  Ouch!  And we didn't improve from last year, either.  In fact, according to The Oregonian, this is the lowest score in 16 years.  Yikes.  The low score is driven by poor performance in prenatal health care, children's health coverage, and child abuse.  Not good news, mamas. But... usually there's more to the picture than hits the headlines, right?   Right.  So, head on over to Activistas to learn more about the report card and what you can do to raise our abysmal score!

Registered to Vote? The Clock is Ticking...

November 6 is right around the corner, and October 16th is even closer.  That's the last day for new Oregon voters to register.  So, if you're a new mamagonian, hop on it!  The Multnomah County Department of Elections runs the show.  You can do most anything related to voting on its web site (except actually vote), from registering or changing your address to locating drop boxes and reading ballot measure info.  You can also download the voters' guide from its site, and learn about volunteering around elections, too.  There's a FAQ that covers most any question you could possibly have about voting in Oregon.  And if you just aren't sure if you are, in fact, registered, call the county at (503) 988-3270 - they know.  Check out Activistas for more facinating tidbits on voting in Oregon.

NWEI Discussion Group: Join Us!

Ready for your first Northwest Earth Institute discussion group?  Already done one but ready to meet new urban Mamas & Papas and explore another interesting topic?  Us too!! So...join us to for a discussion group this fall.  You'll find all the background info and details you need over on Activistas - like: what's a discussion group, anyway?  what interesting topics?  where would we meet?  Check it out. 

Will you Bike or Walk to School?

This Wednesday, October 3, is the 2007 Bike & Walk to School Day.  In an effort to get in our faces, grab our attention, and/or shame us into walking or biking, a Willy Week editorial reads, "Driving is Lazy".  With Portland Public Schools offering school choice wherein many families opt for schools beyond their neighborhood schools, it may not be as easy to just walk or bike to school.

There are 37 or so participating schools in Portland, both public and private.  Is your school on the list?  Even if it isn't, will you be able to walk or bike to school?  Carpool or take the bus/MAX? 

More Chinook Book Swap Ideas?

Thank you to those of you who came out to swap with us yesterday morning.  One mama left with maybe four 2-for-1 coupons for Staccato Gelato, another left with needed coupons for Rodda Paint, and yet another left with a couple of extra coupons for the Alberta Co-op.

With just 2 months left until this year's Chinook Book Coupons expire (on November 2007), we encourage you to get out there and swap!  Or leave your extra coupons at strategic places like: the common areas at your workplace, bulletin boards at your schools, community posting areas at the supermarket/cafe/community center.  We know LilyToad has a basket of Chinook Book coupons to trade or take, and - after Saturday - now Milagros also has a hefty pile.

Have any other ideas of distributing those coupons that will otherwise go to waste?

Do you Facebook?

First, there were the yahoo-groups, which eventually led to the creation of urbanMamas three or so years ago.  But, beyond the online groups, there are blogs and websites that convene oodles and oodles of people.  A while back, it seemed like all the cool kids were on Friendster.  Now, they're on MySpace.  Or Twitter?  Even Portland mamas and papas are on MeetUp.com.  It's online social network gone wild.

A former Portland mama just emailed me an invite to FaceBook, the latest and greatest of this genre of social webs.

I'm not sure I'm there yet.  Has anyone used Friendster, MySpace, Twitter, MeetUp, or FaceBook?  Have you met mamas or papas like you?  Or, reconnected with old friends (like my friend swears she did?)?  I think I can barely handle keeping up with favorite feeds we read and the yahoo groups....

Bill Maher: I think I hate you

On September 8, 2007, nursing mamas in 105 locations in 38 states participated in a nurse-in, "after a breastfeeding mother was treated poorly by Applebee's on both local and corporate levels."  On September 14, 2007 Bill Maher, on "Real Time with Bill Maher", spent a good part of his opening comments elborating how he thought breastfeeding in public was narcisistic and inappropriate.  See the whole thing here (and forward to the 7:00min point).

He said, "Breastfeeding a baby is an intimate act, and I don’t want to watch strangers performing intimate acts…” He equates breastfeeding, a “natural” act, with masturbating, also an “intimate”, “natural” act.  Making it sound like breastfeeding is some fad, he speculates, “Next thing, mothers will want to give birth in the waterfall at the mall.”

If we mamas nurse in public and are not decent about it, we are “lazy to either plan ahead or cover up.”  To the mothers who nurse publicly, he says you are “fighting for the spotlight that you surely will get when you go 'Janet Jackson' on everyone."  And, finally, he winds down with “Only in America do women think they deserve a medal for having a kid," and he suggests that even dogs can have kids (so are we all dogs?)  He closes with “it’s about how petty and parochial our causes have become, how activism has become narcissism..... There is a place where breasts and food go together, it’s called ‘Hooters’”.

Cyberspace is teeming with anger with his comments, just google "bill maher breastfeeding" to find mamas and others around the country who are writing about it.  I try not to be hypersensitive when it comes to comedians trying to make a buck and tell a joke, but Bill Maher goes too far and is offensive, obscene, misogynistic, completely outta line.  Local mama Bridget is preparing a statement to send to HBO, and you can email her at billmahermustapologize@comcast.net to add your name to petition.  Are there other ways we can express our views? 

Do you have breastmilk to spare?

A mother in our community is looking for help from other mothers who are breastfeeding. Janet's little son August was born 6 months ago with missing genetic material, has had several surgeries and faces a host of developmental challenges. Please read Janet's email below, and help if you can:

I have run out of my frozen supply of breast milk for little August.  still pumping, but not producing enough for his overnight continuous feed of milk through his G-tube.   I am able to get enough for his feedings during the day though.  Anyone have a freezer full of milk, or know anyone producing copious amounts that wou