Ross W. Greene and the 'Explosive Child'

A few years ago, when I was first understanding my son, Everett, and his behavioral difficulties, I read Ross W. Greene's The Explosive Child. Now that he's at the Pioneer School, a special school geared toward children who have major trouble adapting in the general education environment, and many of the members of the schools' staff have been through Greene's workshops. His approach for dealing with challenging kids, called "collaborative problem solving," is now taught in workshops and MESD-sponsored book groups around the city.

I was surprised, then, when I told several of Everett's teachers that I had just ordered Greene's newest book, Lost in School, a follow-up to his previous books that lays out a framework for how parents and schools can work together to help challenging kids succeed. They hadn't yet heard of it. (What, do you people not have GoodReads?) I've read a few chapters of Lost in School, now, and I already recommend both books to anyone who has a child with behavioral challenges, whether they're like Everett's or more strictly diagnosed (the autism spectrum and ADHD are also maladaptive disorders and can be approached with Greene's philosophies). When adding the new book to my GoodReads shelf, I decided to review the The Explosive Child; I've copied the review after the jump.

Words of Inspiration?

We have an on-going book swap in our extended family. The most recent addition to end up on my nightstand is Three Cups of Tea.

This engaging book recounts the journey of Greg Mortenson from a failed attempt to climb K2 to launching a mission to build schools in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Needless to say, it is a pretty inspiring read and it has left a lasting impression.

Have you read something recently that has moved you?

What inspiring books do you recommend?

Cookbooks for the Teeny People

It's no secret that I don't cook.  But as an activity with the kids - that's another story!  And I'm seriously attracted to books.  So naturally all the recent talk about cookbooks for kids (here and here) is right up my alley.  But is it worth it?  Needed?  Or just a gimick to sell us yet another thing we parents could do just fine (or better!) without?  Like $20 dinosaur-shaped muffin tins.

I hate to admit it but I'm tempted by titles like 'Kitchen Playdates' and 'Kids Cook 1-2-3: Recipes for young Chefs Using Only 3 Ingredients' (shoot, I wish all recipes had just 3 ingredients, I'd cook more).  But...I'm thinking we should just stick to regular old recipes in the multitudinous regular old grown-up cookbooks in our house.  I mean, how hard can banana bread really be?  Plus, there's the internet, and surely there's a parent blog out there loaded with this stuff - for free! 

If I do walk down this path, I'm thinking a good starting point might be Mollie Katzen's "Pretend Soup," if only to complement the 42 other Moosewood cookbooks in our house.  Have you tried any of these little kids cookbooks?  Any not to be missed?

Book group update

As expected, we had a very (very) small get-together at our first book group meeting last Thursday. At our next two meetings, this Sunday, December 30, and Sunday, January 13, we'll continue to discuss Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. Between conversation here on the blog and our meetings, we'll decide upon a book for the next month.

Meeting places and times:

• Dec. 30, 1 p.m., Pix Patisserie Division (3402 SE Division)
• Jan. 13, 1 p.m., Tea Chai Te NE (2223 NE Alberta)
• Jan. 17, 7 p.m., TBD

Book group: Animal, Vegetable, Miracle

Several of us got together a few weeks ago and agreed that a book group was a great idea! Naturally, life took its holiday twists and turns and I've missed the organization I promised. So here it is: we are starting a book group. We'll meet every other Sunday afternoon around 12:30 p.m. and one weekday a month at around 7 (attendance at all meetings definitely not required for participation!). Our first book will be Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver; as I understand, the copies available at the library are in high demand, so you may have to order from Amazon.com or share.

I'm not sure where to meet, partly as I don't know how many will attend; please let me know if you're coming, and leave ideas in the comments about where to meet. Our first evening meeting will be this Thursday night, December 20th; our first Sunday meeting, Dec. 30. Thursday at 7 we'll meet at the Press Club, 2621 SE Clinton. We'll discuss whether we'll read one book each month, or one every two months, when we're face-to-face.

(The support mama meetings will continue starting Dec. 23 on alternate Sundays; I'll update the urbanMamas calendar to reflect that.)

urbanMama book club: The Other Mother

From time to time, I harbor fantasies of having a regular Sunday literary review on urbanMamas, in which we get together virtually and talk about an important book. Sure, I've read a lot of the books I want to include in that review, but I haven't yet found time to give this project its due.

However, I finally got a chance to give Gwendolyn Gross' The Other Mother a nice, thorough review. I recommend this book, with the caveat that (as Mara at Oleoptene pointed out) the main characters, two mothers locked in the "Mommy Wars," aren't that likeable; that it's located in New Jersey, where everyone has more money than they need; and that there is a lot of judgment going on. Still, it's very well-written with lots of moments that would be great for a book group to discuss -- and I'd love to hear others' thoughts about it here.

Books you love to read, too?

My boys' current favorite books in the whole world are Stan & Jan Berenstain's Berenstain Bears series. And, certainly, I'm always finding pearls of wisdom in them -- like the time we learned about too many extracurriculars with Under Pressure. We read Too Much Junk Food, like, every night. Everett can finish all my sentences.

But these books? They aren't my favorite to read. I find much of the text pedantic, repetitive (not in a good way), the very opposite of melodic. And Papa Bear with his childishness and pratfalls always bugs me; Mama Bear's eternal calm perfection and dowdy dress makes me crazy.

I'd much rather read something that makes me feel like singing (or crying), such as Spaghetti Park (the tale of a little boy who works with his grandpa and the community to put a bocce court in a neglected neighborhood park); The Lemon Sisters (in which little girls and older women come together because of lemon, sugar, and snow); Mystery Bottle (in which a little boy dreams of his grandpa, who he's never met, in Iran); The Unexpectedly Bad Hair of Barcelona Smith (in which a little boys lets down his hair, literally and figuratively, both silly and smart); Open Me... I'm a Dog! (a witch's curse turns a dog into a German shepherd, a bullfrog, and finally, a book) or the sadly out-of-print Penelope and the Pirates (in which a cat goes on an adventure with a sea captain, and learns about friendship).

Which books do you try to put at the top of the stack when it's time to read?

Punk Rock Dad Book Review

Punk Rock Dad By Jim Lindberg.  The title just seethes coolness, but is it over-hyped?  Thanks to Kathy Tucker for reviewing the book recently for us:

The premise of this book is rather thin, but it does have some really funny parts.

I personally don’t think that a punk rocker being a dad is so unusual that it is worth a book on that basis. Lindberg, who is the lead singer of Pennywise, relies rather heavily on the idea that he is really on the outside of traditional fatherhood – which I suppose might be true if you live in the mid-West or something, but not here in Portland! Okay, maybe having a co-worker (band-mate) who likes to throw up on the fans is out of the norm, but otherwise he is really not that unusual.

Lindberg does describe some really hilarious scenes that any parent can relate to, including the diaper-blow-out from hell, and being told by his wife that he has put the onesie on upside down. Another endearing aspect of the book is that Lindberg is able to turn his humor on himself, too, often referring to himself as an aging rocker who dies his hair and would prefer to get home quickly rather than hang out in the bars after a show.

Parenting Books for the Busy Papas

Remember when you could sit down an enjoy a good book?  Funny how life changes after kids. Cindy is in search of a good parenting book for Papas.  Have you any recommendations?

With Father’s Day coming fast, I am wondering if any of the Urban Mamas and Urban Papas can recommend Parenting Books geared toward the busy Papa.  I am also open to blogs, magazines, etc that address this issue.

Specifically in our house, I find that the dynamic between my two boys (nearly six, and three) and my husband tends to be a bit tense more often than any of us likes.  I think this happens for a few reasons but one reason is that my three year old has a very strong personality and seems to have a knack for pushing buttons and limits.

I have read more parenting books than I am comfortable admitting to but haven’t successfully passed on tidbits to my husband that he can apply.  I am looking for something along the lines of “Discipline for Dummies” to help the dynamic in my house and my husbands comfort but also a quick enough read that my tired husband with short windows of time can read and benefit from.

Eek! Email Error!

Ahhh, email.  So easy-to-use!  So easy-to-talk-through!  Ever crafted an email and hit "SEND" when you meant to hit "SAVE"?  Ever blurted out all your inner-most thoughts in an email thinking you could save it for later but then - !poof! - cyberspace whisks it away to send to the [un]intended recipient? Ever type something you didn't really mean? Ever been unnecessarily mean, sacrcastic, catty? Ever live to laugh about it later?

The authors of the new book SEND is looking for your "tales of misdirected emails and other errors of email etiquette".  Share your stories!

As a li'l somethin'-somethin' for your quips: urbanMamas would like to offer a couple of free tickets to the Just Between Friends pre-sale on Friday, April 27th, to some of the wackiest, craziest stories of email errors.

P.S. The authors, David Shipley and Will Schwalbe, will appear at Powell's this Sunday, April 22nd, at 7:30PM.

The Dangerous Book for Boys

Thank you, Sharon for sharing this review with us:

The Dangerous Book for Boys - by Conn & Hal Iggulden

The Dangerous Book for Boys is a bit of a cliff note type book for a child to become a cross between James Bond and Huck Finn. It starts with a list of 11 things one must always keep in ones pockets (needle and thread, book of matches, compass) and ends with 8 badges to earn while conquering the tasks in the book. A reference type book on all things the authors think young men/boys need to know. For example : ways to make the best paper airplanes, the seven wonders of the ancient world, how to build a tree house.

Overall - I think it is a fun book. I could certainly see giving this as a birthday gift. My husband and son (who is six) have both enjoyed the challenge of figuring out some of the building projects. They both thought it was pretty cool. Lots of great activities for parents and kids (girls or boys) to do together. Certainly a tad bit over the top, in the sense of what children are ever going to need the needle and thread to "sew up a wound on an unconsious dog...", but I completely understand the premis of the digital age taking over and our kids need to learn how to "do" more. All in all my engineer husband has repeatedly made sure that he can keep the book. So, if you are interested in knowing not only the best coin tricks, but also how to map the sky - great book for you!

Good Kids Bad Habits

Anne recently reviewed this book:  Any other suggestions for books about raising healthy kids?

Good Kids Bad Habits by Jennifer Trachtenberg, M.D. is filled with useful information, but it’s a book that works more as a reference than something you read cover-to-cover. The premise of it is that each component of your child’s life modifies their “real age,” and the author emphasizes throughout the evidence that shows the correlation between health choices in children and adolescence and the decisions they make as adults. “Real Age” is based on data about longevity, but comes across as a somewhat gimmicky feature of the book that ties it to the RealAge.com website.

Shorter chapters follow on exercise, hygiene, academics, self-esteem, and safety. While I found the tone kind of annoying (with lots of sentences like “That’s not good. No child should be a fitness failure.”), the content is solid and puts into perspective the relative impact of different health choices you can make with your family. She can take on issues such as weight gain more holistically because of the books breadth and then offer concrete advice about a process through which you can address the problem.

HATCHED! The Big Push From Pregnancy to Motherhood

As reviewed by the boss:

The author:  Sloane Tanen

The schtick:  Cheeps* used in coffee table humor book to demonstrate the hilarity of motherhood.  Example:  baby chick lies in half-eggshell asleep in crib, mama chick (which is odd; shouldn't she be a hen and not a chick?  But I digress) is leaving the room w/ storybook flung to floor; caption beneath reads "Goodnight moon, hello martini."

(*Cheeps, tm = the marshallow chicks you find in your basket at Easter time)

If I had only one sentence to sum up my impression of this book, I would say "Cute, but definitely not indispensible."  It's undoubtedly a fast read.  Would make for an interesting gift to a mom-to-be.  But take this with a grain of salt, for my sense of humor runs more to classic Mad Magazine, Molly Ivins, and South Park.  You've been warned.

Less relevant, but really annoying:  The promo materials were a serious turnoff, designed I'm guessing for that same demographic that reads the NYTimes parenting articles in the Style section and thinks "Ah Yes, I am such an Au Courante parent."  Press clippings included a Vanity bio/puff piece on the author and her sister, who as it turns out are the children of some very famous and powerful Hollywood mogul, WHATEVS. Thrill to hear how the Tanen sisters are so normal despite their privileged upbringing, their education at Sarah Lawrence, blah blah yes, I have major class resentment.

Anatomy off-limits in children's books?

We're quite comfortable with anatomical words in our house, freely using the word "breast" and "penis," because I subscribe to the theory that it's the most honest way to treat children -- and I don't feel the words themselves should hold any aura of naughtiness (while this is often recommended as a defense against sexual abuse, that's not why I do it -- it just seems right to me). That's part of the reason the uproar I read about in the New York Times regarding the use of the word "scrotum" in a children's book perplexed me.

Firstly, the reference is to a dog's scrotum, and the 10-year-old title character of The Higher Power of Lucky hears the word (a friend's dog is bit in the scrotum by a rattlesnake) and is fascinated by the word's unusual sound, "medical and secret, but also important." To be frank, it doesn't sound like my kind of book, but I now want to read it to all the kids I know as it's been banned in children's libraries and schools all over the U.S. According to one librarian in Colorado, "I don’t want to start an issue about censorship, but you won’t find men’s genitalia in quality literature." I beg to differ. (And this isn't a man's genitalia we're discussing -- it's a dog's!)

In my opinion, the uproar is ridiculous, on the "seeing a nipple will damage our children" scale of stupendous silliness. If you can't read the word "scrotum," then don't buy the book, I say. The article mentions that librarians from Portland weigh in on the issue, but doesn't say on which side -- as Multnomah County Library is famously liberal, and there are dozens of copies on order for the library system (with an astonishing 53 holds on the copies that are already in circulation) -- I'd say on the side of Lucky.

As I pat myself on the back for living here in Portland with our fabulous acceptance of such things, I wonder, what is your reaction to this anatomical hubbub?

Sturdy Lift the Flap Books

Infant-friendly, saliva-resistant, tear-free book.  Does such a thing exist?  Jennifer poses the following question:

My 10-month old loves books, especially pop-ups and lift-the-flap books. Problem is, she always chews or pulls off all the flaps. Does anyone know of any lift-the-flap board books that are sturdier for little hands?

Seeking Resident Book Worm

In the urbanMama's mailbox are many opportunities for reviewing books for upcoming releases.  Sadly, despite our great interest in the written word, we are overbooked.  Here's an opportunity for a Portland mama (or papa) to review upcoming book releases.  We only ask that you send us a review of the book once it's been read so that it can be shared with our wonderful community of readers.  Does this sound like something your interested in?  Send us an email along with your contact info including mailing address.  The latest offer is below:

Writing to you from Bloomsbury regarding the upcoming release of Sloane Tanen's book HATCHED! The Big Push from Pregnancy to Motherhood (Bloomsbury May 2007).  Given the topic of your blog, I'm thinking this book may be right up your (and your readers') alley!  Following the bestselling and wildly popular BITTER WITH BAGGAGE SEEKS SAME and GOING FOR THE BRONZE, Sloane Tanen's chickens are back, but gone are the worries about overbooked yoga classes and the frantic pace of online dating--this time these chickens have only one thing on their minds: babies.  From epidurals to stretch marks to maternity jeans and diaper rash, never before have the joys, trials, and tribulations of wanting, having, and raising a baby been so ingeniously and truthfully rendered.  HATCHED! will have mothers and mothers-to-be everywhere laughing with recognition.