Eau de Mama

After sitting in rather close proximity to me at a parent-teacher conference yesterday, my husband delicately told me that I should really consider using deodorant. Only 3 hours after my morning shower, and coming from a man who used to swear my "fragrance" was an aphrodisiac for him, I was a little surprised.  Deodorant hasn't been part of my daily routine since I was in high school (when it also included the coordinating bath gel, lotion, and perfume!) and I've never given it a second thought.  I always figured a quick rinse off in the morning would take care of the most offensive elements on the days when I actually do care how I smell. But I'm willing to reconsider the issue. After all, don't changing hormones influence body odor?  What about you, mamas? Do you go au naturale or do you prefer to prevent or mask underarm perfume? If you've found a product you like, can you share? 

Handmade toys, children's clothes, even barrettes, could disappear

Oh, don't let it happen. Yesterday Chris Musser forwarded me an email about the new Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA) (an act which generally does lovely things, such as ban the manufacture of toys with lead and phthalates and ban their importation into the U.S.). In it she detailed the requirements of this act, effective February 10, 2009; all toymakers must pay a testing fee of $4,000 per type of toy they make, as well as permanently labeling them with a batch number and date (requiring them to create new molds in many cases). What's more, this act covers children's clothing and accessories, meaning that every single small company that makes children's toys, t-shirts, skirts, barrettes, everything, could be forced to cease operation. This effects so many of you: those of you who make children's items, including cloth diapers; those of you who run Waldorf and Montessori preschools; those of you who own children's toy stores; those of you who like to buy handcrafted goods for your children.

The Handmade Toy Alliance has all the details and a petition to sign. Liz at Cool Mom Picks has lots of info about other ways you can get involved. Tell Earl Blumenauer your story: why do you value handcrafted toys?

BOTOX ANYONE?

Just kidding.  Well, kind of.  We've talked about our gray hairs and our aging bodies, both of which I've accepted as a fact of life for me. But now, repeated comments by my mother about my quickly multiplying wrinkles have me thinking.

Seems like ever since the third baby was born last year I get a new one every day.  To call them "laugh lines" doesn't quite do them justice. As I ran past a "medi-spa" the other day, I wondered if a laser lift, collagen injection, or a little alpha-hydroxyl could make up for all the years life guarding without sunscreen and scowling at my children. At the very least, the days of my apricot scrub and yellow Clinique face lotion are numbered as I search out a wrinkle-plumping product to invest in.

I know I should just accept my new found wrinkles, and I probably will...eventually. But until then, how do you approach yours?  With love?  Night creams?  Eye creams?  Do you think they work or is it just a marketing conspiracy that preys on the aging phobic?

Budget-Friendly Interior Decorating Help

We know many urbanMamas out there with great style that can help Kimberly who is in need of advice on getting help for her interior design needs.  She emails:

We have horrible style, but a cute house. I can't take it anymore. Actually I have good style in my head, but don't know how to translate it in my home. Major living and dining room help needed. Can you all recommend someone? Maybe some one who know a bit about feng shui too.

Going Gray: Pluck, Color, or Leave It Be?

Age ain't nothing but a number right? But nothing makes me feel like I'm maturing like wrinkles (ugh!) on your face (that's another discussion) and of course, gray hair.  Over the past year, the couple of gray hairs hidden (or so I think) in the back of head have multiplied.  O.k., so now there are only about seven gray hairs but it's enough to make me pause, and wonder what I should do with them.  I have let them be ever since their discovery.  I am curious, what is your strategy for graying hair? Are you a "plucker"? Do you color? Or do you just let it be? Or? Of course I'm blaming the kids for causing undue stress that would turn my hair gray.

Mamas: how often do you shower?

We really got the conversation going earlier in the year when we affirmed our varied bathing schedules for the kids.  As I sit here unshowered, I realize that there are many days when I will skip the shower.  There can always be more dishes to be done, laundry to fold, food to make, that can trump the bathing ritual, which is a daily one for many.

How often do you mamas get around to showering?  Is it a must-do every day?  Do you skip it every once in a while?

How a mama chooses the perfect swimsuit

We waited a loooooong time for these sunny days to come, and now they're here!  There is no shortage of family swim at the local pool, splashing at fountains, or even an occassional excursion to the coast (if we have the gas money!). 

So, what do you wear?  For certain, most of the splashing activities only require our most comfy summer outfit of shorts/capris/skort with a tank/tee.  But, when we are going for full submersion, what is your attire?

Is your swimsuit years and years old?  Is it a newer number?  What styles are you finding more conducive, post-pregnancy?  Tankinis?  Wide-band two piece tops?  Boy shorts?  Skorts?  One piece with a wrap?  The options, the options!  Where can a mama go to find a suitable, affordable array items, to guarantee we'll find something to meet our needs?

How long do you go?

Once I bumped into a friend and she said, "Your hair is getting so long!"  And I said in reply, "So is yours!"

I tend to go a looooooooonng time between hair cuts.  I probably get a hair cut every 9 months or so.  I just can't justify the time, the 30-60 minutes away from the family, just to get my "hair done".  Sure, I take plenty of 30-60 minute chunks of time away from the the family, but there are other things that are high up on my priority list, among the higher up things-to-do include running or going to the supermarket alone (so I can control those bills & comparison shop!).  When I finally make it to a hair cut, I am ready for a change, a real new do.  I got one of those go-all-out chop-it-all-off cuts just before the new year, and it was great for the first couple of months.  Six months later, I'm no longer enamoured with the cut, but I'm probably going to wait a few more months until I really can't take it anymore.  Or, maybe I'll get it cut sooner rather than later, and break this cycle of denying myself the hair cut because I can't justify the time/money commitment more frequently than once in a 9 month period!

How long do you go between cuts?  Do you wait and push the envelope until you just. can't. take. it. anymore?  Do you go at more regularly in shorter intervals?  Does getting your hair cut fall in the higher or the lower end of the priority spectrum for you?

And in case this whole conversation gets you jazzed to get out for a new cut, be sure to check out previous recommendations on where to go.

Shave, NAIR, wax, or nothing?

Spring is in the air, I tell you.  Once the temps went over the 50-degree mark over the weekend, I was ready to don a pair of shorts or capris or guachos.  Then, I looked down on my shins at my hairy, hairy legs.  I couldn't bare those things in public.  It's not in me.

It's another manic Monday, and I need a little brain candy.  How do you mamas handle your body hair -- on legs, in underarm areas, in other areas?  Do you shave?  Wax?  At home or somewhere else?  Just let it be?  Pluck?  I'm curious.

Mamas: How do you really feel about your bodies?

It happens to the best of us.  It happens to me at yoga class.  Sometimes.  I look over to the fit yogi next to me, and I sigh.  "I want to be as taut as she is.  So young, so toned."  It happens to me on the rare occassion that I get to go out on the town.  At a bar or lounge, I will spy with my little eyes ...  I skinny little thing with the hip and happenin' clothes, the fashionista with the slim hips and the perky boobs to go with the snug outfit.

I feel good, I feel strong.  I hold my chaturanga for like 20 counts.  More maybe.  That's super core strength.  And yet, I feel sheepish about my body.  Sometimes.  My body has birthed two lovely babies. BUT, my hips are wider than before, my tummy flesh is nice and flappy and stretchy, and my boobs are smaller and saggier than ever after all those years of nursing.

In a NYTimes article today, they ask: "Is the 'Mom Job' Really Necessary?"  How do you feel about your body, post-babes?  Confident?  Wishing it could be a bit tighter and harder?  Have you considered a nip, tuck, suck, lift, trim?

And, in case this whole conversation has inspired you to get out and get active, check out the urbanMamas fitness index.

Biker Chic

What with three other urbanMamas going low-car, I've been giving thought to switching to a bike commute, maybe once a week or so.  But it's one thing to commute from close-in to downtown and quite another to go from close-in to Gresham, so it's taking me a while to work out the kinks (especially with carrying a baby in a trailer!).  One thing that I don't have to consider too much is how to dress once I get there.  Luckily at work we have individual bathrooms with sink and mirror, so freshening up isn't too hard to do.  Along with spare clothes, I would pack a washrag, some soap, and a small hand towel.  To be honest at my workplace they probably wouldn't notice if I dressed in pajamas, so I don't have that much appearance to keep up.  In a pinch, after a run, I might use one of those instant facial soapy rags to wash up.  Suzame is about to jump back into the working mama pool and asks this question of other bike-commuting mamas:

After nearly a year off I'm returning to work full time (Yay! and Boo-hoo! all at the same time). My patience during the search resulted in me landing a job downtown, just slightly two miles from my house in NE. I'm excited (and nervous) about joining the ranks of Portland's bike commuters, and plan on finding a workshop to get tips on how to make the ride safe. (I'm a bit nervous about riding in traffic down Broadway and back, but it's the quickest route for me.)

But what I REALLY want to know is -- how you show up for work looking good? I already got my hair chopped off so that it'll always look stylishly mussed (at least, I hope so). It's a short ride (maybe 10 minutes) and most of it is flat, so I don't anticipate working up too much of a sweat. But I'm definitely showering at home and doing make-up before I leave, and hopefully either arriving at work with a quick change of clothes or wearing my work clothes during the ride. But that depends on me finding decent business casual clothes that I don't mind biking in. I'd love to hear from other mamas who ride their bikes to work -- how do you do it and manage to look pulled together all day?

Do you have any fashion tips for the biking working mama?

Modeling Agencies for Kids

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but what if your child is blessed with good looks?  One mama asks about any recommendations for beautiful babies:

I was wondering if anyone has any experience or recommendations with modeling agencies for kids. I'd rather go word-of-mouth than the yellow pages, if possible.

Local Jeweler Recommendation

Erin is looking for something special to celebrate the arrival of her second child.  She writes:

I'm expecting baby #2 any day now.  I've decided I want a very simple mother's ring, or maybe two stackable ones.  The "traditional" ones are a bit too much for my taste.  I've found a few possibilities on-line, but I would like to see them in person, and I would prefer to buy local. Does anyone know of a good local jeweler who might meet my needs?

Mommy Mobile Hairstylist

I've posted about hairstylist woes on here before, and have been so pleased with Frenchi's work over the past year. But, I have to admit, since she's moved salons, and since work and life keep getting busier, it's even harder for me to get out to see her - I have to arrange for a babysitter or for my husband to watch my son, often have to fight traffic to make the appt., etc. Sometimes, just like everything else these days, making and keeping an appointment with a hairstylist is more hassle than its worth for me, no matter how great of a haircut awaits.

My new solution: Susy, the Mommy Mobile Hairstylist! Susy Gallegos moved here from CA three months ago, and is already building quite a following with her fabulous concept: she brings all of her supplies, does cuts, colors and styles, all in the convenience of your own home. I LOVE this concept, and I tried it out for the first time last week. Susy has been a stylist for about 12 years, many for one of the top 10 salons in LA, and she not only came over to my house and cut my hair, but she talked about styles that would flatter my face shape more, talked about how she was styling it and showed me how (not that I am capable of doing any styling on my own whatsoever, but it was helpful!), and she was great with my son running around. He took to her right away, which can be rare. She's just a fun, friendly, happy presence who just happens to be a whiz with hair.

Her services are great for all busy moms, but especially if you're a new/nursing mom, since you don't have to leave your house, and she'll happily take breaks for you to nurse your baby, soothe a fussy baby, etc. Oh! And she's a mom herself! To one adorable 15-month-old son.

Give Susy a call at 310-902-0060, or email her at bonbongallegos@hotmail.com and be sure to ask about the mommy discount :) I just love when moms come up with ways to use their talents to help other moms, don't you?

Try Thai Massage

Have you tried Thai? urbanMama Deniz passes on her experiences with Thai Massage as well as an urbanMamas special from her new therapist:

I wanted to share with all UrbanMamas my great massage experience. A new tranquil Traditional Thai Massage studio just opened in hip Clinton area of SE Portland. Michael Gill is a specialist in Thai Massage (7 years of experience including training in Thailand), and he is offering a standing $15 discount for new moms (with children under 2 years) and is extending the $15 discount as a holiday special towards gift certificates and any massages booked in December. His normal rate is only $75 for a 90-minute massage.

I recently had my first Thai Massage experience – actually it was my first-ever massage experience and it was truly harmonious. You're fully clothed – it's quite similar to yoga only someone does the stretching and moves for you. Michael consults with you first and customizes the massage – focusing on your specific needs, pain, fatigue and weak areas. It really helped alleviate my aches and pains on my back, hips and shoulders I started to develop from holding, lifting and carrying my 2 year old daughter. The results are felt for weeks after – I have a much better posture when I sit at the desk and can lift my daughter with no forced movements or pain. I'm definitely going to get my husband a Thai Massage.

Michael Gill, LMT
Traditional Thai Massage Studio
(503) 238-0352
2854 SE Clinton Street

Mama & Me 'Pedi's

Tons and tons of 'thank you's' to Stephanie for forwarding this one! It's definitely going on my holiday wish-list.

There's a brand new day spa at 7817 SE Stark Street called Sante' (actually "les fleurs de la Sante'" but Sante' for short.) They are right across the street from Flying Pie Pizzeria and the Academy Theater. They offer a "mommy and me" pedicure package called "Pinkie Toes" which allows you to take your daughter with you to the spa and share tea and snacks while you enjoy an herbal foot soak together. Once you're done, you can each pick out a fun nail polish color for your tootsies, and best of all, their nail polish is formaldehyde-free.

lucy warehouse sale

Every six months or so, lucy hosts the famed Lucy Warehouse Sale
featuring items direct from the stores! The sale is held at the warehouse location: 3135 nw industrial street, portland, or 97210.

11am 6pm, thursday, november 9. 11am 5pm*, friday, november 10. *or while supplies last

tops: $5- $10
pants: $20
jackets: $20
accessories: $5- $20

all sales final, cash or check only

In the past, I have found the lucy warehouse sale really overwhelming, but... if you DO get in with decent selection in your size, the deals are great!

Highlights, Hair Color, and Pregnancy

Snow has a beauty question for all you mamas out there:

What about hair color during pregnancy/breast feeding? Is it safe? Does anyone know of good natural alternatives? I have a lot of grey and I usually get it colored with some brown and blonde streaks but I've tried Henna in the past (when I was a lot younger and had less grey) and it made my hair really dry and made my grey hair pretty much turn orange! So for now, I'm keeping it pulled into a ponytail and feeling really frumpy...maybe I need to explore the wide world of stylish hats?

DryCleaning Low Down

Since I quit my job and had a baby nearly two years ago, my need for a good dry cleaner has been non-existant. But now that I'm a part-time working mom, some of my old work clothes are making their way back to the front of my closet. The good news is that they still fit...Yahoo! The bad news is that lots of them still call for dry cleaning...ugh. I've taken a few things to the cleaner up the street, and while they came back fine, the place was kind of scary looking and I never could stand that yucky "dry cleaner smell." Since moving to Portland, we've definitely become a bit more sensitive to health and environmental issues, so it got me thinking...

Can any mamas tell me what the "green cleaners" are doing that's either better for the environment or our health? Are they much more expensive than the stinky place up the street? Any recommendations for a good one? Does anyone know of a good one that does pick up/delivery to home/office? Any experience or good recommendations would be great!

Can we talk about personal mama style?

Sent to us by Kat, a fellow urbanMama:

When I worked at my office I usually spent 99% of my clothing budget on work clothes: jackets, trousers, "fancy" jeans. And because I work in a creative industry I could get away with a lot, though I was decidedly the conservative one at my agency. But now that I work out of my home office, and less than half time, I don't need those things, or not much of them. I see clients and colleagues in person maybe three times a month now. And when I do, I'm usually nursing Iris. But that's a whole other discussion...

My non-work clothes are usually very casual, like gardening casual. I guess I usually wore my work clothes even in off hours, and that just became my style.

But now, that doesn't work. It's silly to wear jackets while caring for a two-year-old and a newborn. And I'm likely to lose an earlobe to a curious baby if I wear my usual earrings.

So I'm having to find a whole new personal style, one that relates to what I do all day, is low-maintenance, but speaks to my vision of myself: creative, colorful, modern. And it has to fit over my nursing boobs! And conceal my flabby tummy! Ugh. It's hard!

I am envisioning a whole line of clothes designed for SAH/WAH moms who want to be stylish but comfortable and likely have "mama bodies" that need some special tailoring...

What do you wear all day when you're home with the kids? If you work, do you have a different home wardrobe than your work wardrobe? Do you feel stylish and like your clothes reflect who you are and how you want the world to see you? If you do, how'd you get there? If you don't, what would your dream wardrobe comprise?

urbanMamas Bazaar, next Saturday

We started calling it an 'art fair', but we've recently been referring to it as a bazaar. We've had a tremendous response from mamas wanting to share goods and services with the rest of the urbanMamas community:

Amy McMullen of Amy McMullen Photography
Larissa Brown and her handmade items
Leigh Rubio of New For Baby
Michaela Santen of BumpStyle
Robyn Taylor Barbon of Portland at Play
Angela of Rowanberry School
Cynthia Thompson of Zoom Baby Gear
Kate Haas of Miranda Zine
Anna Hoffert and her Handmade items
Lisa Golightly of Kiki & Polly

Hope you can join us for some coffee, delphina pastries, and some good company! How many of you think you can join us? Please RSVP in the comments...

urbanMamas Bazaar
Saturday, August 19th
10 AM to 2 PM
Milagros Family Room
5429 - 5433 NE 30th Avenue
Portland, OR 97211
503-493-4141

*** thank you to Milagros for co-hosting this event ***

Mama Needs a New 'Do

We've shared advice about where we like to take our kids to get their haircuts, but it's about time that this mama gets some style back into her sad overgrown locks, so where do other urban Mamas go for a haircut and color? I have been going to the same hairstylist at Dosha Salon Spa - Hawthorne for the past six years. She is a lovely soon-to-be-urban-mama (due next month!) and although she's like the sister I never had, it's a good time for us to part ways. Parting with her is like breaking up: I've been thinking about it for over a year now, but our relationship is so nice and cozy that I've just stayed along for the ride. She not only knows my hair - she knows my life. But it's time for a change, and I know that it is for the best (sniff, sniff).

So, mamas, where do you go to get your own fab hairstyle? My own selfish search is for someone who is great with short hair and highlights, which is what my hair normally is like...but then I started getting lazy and not seeing my stylist for eight months at a time (this hair touching my neck thing is driving me crazy!). Do you have a stylist you love that you don't mind sharing, whatever her hair specialty may be?

Picks - Portland and Otherwise

I'm certain that many local mamas subscribe to the wildly popular Portland Picks for the latest reviews and word on what's cool and neat in the greater Metro area.  Thought I'd pass the word regarding another pick-esque site that perhaps may pique your interest.  Cool Mom Picks, check it out! And while you're perusing the site, you may even come across a post about our very own, Marlynn's Mama Calling Card. Isn't it time you get some for yourself?  Have you seen ours?

Mama needs a makeover

Maybe it's just me but inevitably, once a month, I find myself having the doldrums about the way I look.  Like the commercials say "your daughter's acne and your mother's wrinkles,"  I've got it all!  Unfortunately, the advertised product would just make my situation worse, due to a fragrance allergy.

As my child and I get older I feel like I get further and further out of touch with how to dress, how to care for my skin, and how to make myself feel better about what I see when I look in the mirror.  I think a large part of my frustration stems from the fact that I don't really identify with who I was prior to becoming mama, but I'm not real sure about who I am now.  What sort of clothes, shoes, makeup, and hairstyle represent me best?  Is it really the flannel pajamas and the ponytail?  Because really, I do feel comfortable but I do not feel "appealing."  Couple this with a severe guilt trip every time I step into a retail shop (I should be shopping at salvation army!), and the doldrums just get deeper and deeper.  OK sure it *IS* that time of the month and my skin looks and feels HORRIBLE, and my body is bloated and out of whack.  Does that mean I should just forget about it and move on?

What I really dream about is some lovely person showing up on my doorstep telling me they've been secretly video taping me in my flannel PJs and ponytail and that my friends and family want me to have a makeover.  OK sure it's always hard to hear from someone else but I'll take it!  When I do shop I don't know what to choose because my body is so different!  My self image is so bad that anything I put on is immediately repulsive, only because my body is in it.

Does anyone have any suggestions for how to dig myself out of this hole?  I've tried an eyebrow wax and a quick facial but after a failed session of retail therapy this afternoon, I'm still feeling low.  Maybe a cut and color?  Mani/pedi?  What do you do for a pick me up when you're feeling down?

The Pregnancy Transition

Two friends are in the early maternity stage.  At three months pregnant, I remember busting out of my normal clothes but I'd be swimming in any type of maternity clothes.  For me, the greatest comfy thing for a growing belly were yoga pants and the assortment of low-rise stretchy pants you find nowadays.  I even found several pairs of work-appropriate black stretchy yoga pants. 

Also, a recently pregnant friend turned me on to the Bella Band.  From the website:

"Newly pregnant?  Pre-pregnancy pants won't fasten around your waist? Cute maternity fashions a bit big right now? Or maybe you're further along, but some of those maternity styles are falling down around your hips.

The Bella Band is a seamless knit band you wear at your waistline, over your unbuttoned pre-pregnancy pants, over slightly big maternity pants, or around the waistband of any maternity style that falls down around your hips."

Here in Portland, the Bella Band can be found at Generations at 4029 SE Hawthorne / 503.233.8130.  Looks like it runs $26, which could be worth it if you can get a few more weeks of wear out of your non-maternity pants!