Unaccompanied Minors: Big deal?
Every year I try to schedule a family trip back to the Midwest to visit family. For the past few years, we have been able to coordinate the trip so that my two older boys spend a few weeks with our families without our presence. It's worked out well, but this year, scheduling this has been challenging unless my boys fly solo.
Instead of their cousins flying solo to come see us, I've been exploring the possibility of my the boys (ages 7 and 9) flying unaccompanied, giving them 1-2 weeks with our families before the rest of us make the road trip halfway across the country. Gulp! I've talked with them at great lengths about this possibility. Both seemed to be open to the adventure especially since they'd have each other. As I was searching for fares last night, I found something reasonable enough to purchase. Exciting, right? When I shared the news, I was met with mixed emotions. The older one was excited, and his younger brother was well, hesitant. Apprehensive. Probably a bit scared. I completely understand. I had regrets. Maybe I jumped the gun. With the trip a few months away, I'm hoping that I have some time to ease his and my own anxiety. Have your kids traveled unaccompanied? What has been your experience? Any words of wisdom?
Two years ago, we sent our sons, who were then 10 and 6, to spend a couple weeks with their grandparents on Long Island. This involved a flight direct from Midway to Long Island (the airlines won't let kids do connecting flights) and ten days of me feeling non-stop panic imagining them drowning in the ocean, choking on restaurant food, or being lonely.
Of course, they had a great time. Airline employees know that if they screw this up, they're going to be all over the news, so they are extremely conscientious. My inlaws took two weeks off and showered them with non-stop attention. Nothing bad happened, except they realized that they don't need mommy all the time -- wait, that was just bad for me!
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Posted by: To Win The Lottery | May 08, 2012 at 06:35 AM
Nope, we don't do that. If the grandparents want them that badly, they can fly out here and fly back with them. There are too many variables in these situations for our family to consider that a safe practice.
Posted by: mum to many | May 08, 2012 at 08:01 AM
Although this hasn't come up for our daughter yet (my mom's here, she has zero interest in visiting my MIL alone)---I personally flew solo for the first time the day after I turned 7 and proceeded to do so for the next three summers.
The first flight in particular was one of the best experiences of my life (at the time). All the flight attendants knew my name and made a huge fuss over me. Even today, with service not quite what it once was, airlines are very, very attentive to minors flying alone and take extreme care with them.
Your children will be fine. In fact it will be an adventure in which they receive lots of attention.
Posted by: zumpie | May 08, 2012 at 08:10 AM
I flew alone at this age and my daughter did as well.
Posted by: Kelly | May 08, 2012 at 08:19 AM
I would listen to your son's cues. If he is scared and would prefer not to do it, I would listen to him. Even if it ended up being just fine, it still sends message about fear not being validated and that isn't with any amount of money. I get a little panicky on flights when I don't have whole family with me, so I think it could be scary for a child that young.
Also, I wonder if amount of attention given to unaccompanied minors is less with airlines having budget problems. I know I was on recent flight and two kids were flying solo across from us. Flight attendant asked me to help keep eye on them and I didn't see her check in on them during flight. She did of course tell them to call her if they needed her and was nice buying remember being surprised by how hands off they were.
Posted by: MommaJ | May 08, 2012 at 09:34 AM
I flew by myself at the age of 7, and made my connecting flight. It was easy for me, but I was fairly independent.
My stepson is 12 now, and he's flown solo to NYC (direct flight) to visit his mom once, and will do so again this summer. It was fine last time; he forgot some of his carry on items on the plane, and the airline attendants were fairly patient in helping him go back on the plane to find them.
Posted by: ED | May 08, 2012 at 02:53 PM
I wouldn't send my son alone, but then I wouldn't do a lot of things other parents do.
Posted by: Anon | May 08, 2012 at 08:25 PM
I wouldn't hesitate to fly my daughter alone (escorted), but I think it all depends on the kiddo. I started flying alone when I was 5 years old (1st grade) and continued to do so multiple times each year through college. My divorced parents, one in the military and one who moved a lot, really didn't have a choice. I also flew to see other family members, who were scattered around the country. I even flew alone from the UK to Washington State when I was 10 years old, after living with my father in the UK for 2 years...and that was a 14-hour flight! I absolutely loved flying by myself. It was fun, and taught me to be independent and responsible at a young age. Although the airline attendants always took very good care of me (even when I had an overnight layover in Denver at 12 years old), I had to learn how to behave respectfully on my own and make good judgments when my parents weren't around. Now, both of my parents gave me tons of parental guidance, worried about me, and I had to call them from each airport, but I always did just fine. I think it was one of the best experiences of my life and set me on a good path.
Posted by: Ajia | May 09, 2012 at 07:58 AM
Our families have asked nicely when will he & she be able to come out by him/themselves? Right now I'd say only if you come get them, can't imagine when his behavior will be good enough- alone or with little sis- to burden attendants, seat mates etc. :( Haven't even factored in possible fear before, during or after the flight(s)! Good luck, maybe your boys are better behaved and ready to be a good team!
Posted by: carie | May 09, 2012 at 07:46 PM
I took the bus unaccompanied, between my divorced parents houses, I think starting about age 10. Let me tell you, no one on Greyhound looks at out for you. Mostly it was fine, but there times I was nervous about the person sitting next to me. I wouldn't worry about sending my kid on a plane at the ages you talked about because they are being looked out for, but I would also depend on how my kid was feeling about it. Good luck and safe travels whatever you decide. Interesting topic to think about....
Posted by: Fawn | May 09, 2012 at 09:43 PM
I flew solo to visit grandparents starting at about age 12. It was all right, but I can't say I loved it and it wasn't a huge confidence booster for me. But, I found I was pretty conflicted about being away from home in general, so maybe that clouded it for me. As a parent though, I can't imagine putting my 8 year old on a plane alone. I know people say "it depends on the child" but I would even have a hard time picturing many of his friends doing it. I don't know that I could pick an age where it would feel better, but I know 8 isn't it for me. There are just so many ways it could go awry, from the big danger things to it just backfiring and having him feel anxious and lonely instead of excited and responsible. I don't know the logistics on this, but do the airlines have a minimum age to fly? I know a friend told me once that 12 (I think) was the minimum age for solo train travel. I wonder at what point flight attendants resent having to take this on. Too bad we haven't heard from any on this thread!
Posted by: kim | May 10, 2012 at 09:45 PM
Most airlines appear to set 5 as the minimum age for travel alone---and from 5-7, it must be a direct flight, without connections (though it can have stops). At age 8, unaccompanied minors are allowed to fly on connecting flights.
Amtrak will not permit children under 12 to ride alone. Ages 13 - 15 have a variety of limitations placed on their ridership.
Greyhound (bus) requires a child under 8 to have a companion of at least 15 years of age or they cannot ride. While children aged 8 - 14 may ride unacommpanied, there are, again a variety of requirements and restrictions.
Posted by: zumpie | May 11, 2012 at 07:57 AM
I was a flight attendant for 12 years and the airline I worked for (Delta)was incredibly careful and attentive to unaccompanied minors. The entire flight crew as always made aware if we had kids flying solo and the kids were checked on throughout the flight. In addition, they were escorted both on and off the plane and only released once the adult meeting them provided appropriate ID. Many flight attendants are parents themselves and do all they can to make kids feel comfortable. I realize not all airlines may have the same level of care, but my airline always took good care of kids.
Posted by: Carolyn | May 11, 2012 at 09:09 AM
Almost all of our relatives live out of state. Our daughter, who is incredibly independent and has been flying regularly since she was born, is now 8. Last year, I thought she could do a direct flight to see a grandparent. Her dad disagreed, so we put it on hold.
We don't have anything specifically planned, but I think that there is a good chance she'll fly solo to FL next spring break when she's 9. We're both a lot more comfortable now that she's a competent reader.
If she was really uncomfortable, I wouldn't push it. But, I did fly by myself for the first time when I was 10, and I remember feeling very grown up and proud.
Posted by: Nicola | May 11, 2012 at 09:42 AM