Who doesn't love a shortcut?
I asked one kid to empty out the clothes dryer, and other kid to transfer the washer to the dryer. It's a pretty easy task. The next time I passed the laundry area, I found wet, clean underwear, a sock and a dishrag lying on the floor between the washer and the dryer. And, there was a trail of clean, dry laundry along the way from laundry area to my bedroom.
I asked the kids to empty out the dishwasher and put its contents in their proper places. I found utensils dumped into the utensil drawer, none of them separated into their individual recpetacles. I found dishes put in the dish section, and I found everything else, from tupperware to frying pans, all in a messy heap in one of the storage areas, even if they know there is a place for each of these things.
Who doesn't love a shortcut? Who wouldn't want to do it as quickly as possible? Granted, these are all chore-related examples, but I can think of other examples where it seems that quicker is better: homework, eating, hiking. Will I ever expect that the kids will have pride in the activity, take the time to do a quality job, do it to their absolute best of their ability? Is it our fast-paced culture that prevents us from slowing down to fold our dish rags corner to corner (ok, that's my own personal pet peeve)? Slow down and do well: do your kids take to it? Or, do they love a shortcut just like any other kid?
I think it just depends on the kid. (Although I think most kids will rush through chores. ;) ) My oldest is learning the guitar, but he only wants to learn complete songs--he has no interest in abstract chords or whatever. As a preschooler at art time he would literally make one scribble on the paper and call it a day, while the other little kids would be doodling away. He eats all of his food incredibly fast.
My middle, though, is the complete opposite. He's learning how to play chess and likes to practice certain moves, especially opening moves, almost more than he likes to play a complete game. He draws incredibly intricate pictures and eats his ice cream so slowly that it is just a puddle of chocolate by the time he is half-way through.
I do remember being younger and my brother told me he always rushed through the dishes, purposely doing a sub-par job, with the hopes that our mom would eventually take him off dish duty. I don't think it worked.
Posted by: K3 | March 02, 2012 at 07:51 AM
Our six year old is told repeatedly (at home and at school) to do her best and to take pride in her work. For some reason she has taken that to heart and wouldn't cut corners if you forced her to. I think that's just part of who she is, which is borderline ridiculous seeing as she is the product of the World's Greatest Procrastinator (me) and the Very Definition of Slacker (dad). Will be interesting to see how this trait evolves as she grows older.
Posted by: allison | March 02, 2012 at 11:59 AM
When we are weighing in on how my boys do at something we will often ask "are you proud of this? Is this your best work?" They're usually a much more accurate critic than we are, whether the work is their best or not. We also don't have a problem saying, "you need to try this again. If you're going to do something, be sure to take the time to do it well."
Posted by: kim | March 02, 2012 at 02:27 PM
While I understand why my kids want to take shortcuts similar to the ones you describe your kids doing, I encourage them to not cut corners and do it to the best of their ability. I want to teach them to take pride in their work and not get into the easy habit of doing things halfa$$ed. For example, when they come home from school, they are required to make their bed (which really should be done in the morning,but that's another post) and many times they're in a hurry to play so they'll sloppily makee their bed with bumps and wrinkles and not a good job at all. If that were the best they could do, that would be one thing. But I make them redo it if it looks like they didn't even try to make it nice and neat. I don't want my boys growing up to be slobs,if I can help it.
Posted by: jln | March 02, 2012 at 05:19 PM
This rings so true for our family at the moment. Our tweener is constantly rushing through the less desirable activities (chores, homework, etc.), and I am forced to revisit the task at hand again and again with her until I feel that it has been done, and done well. I see why it would be so much easier to simply say, 'Forget it! I'll take care of it!' or let the homework be mediocre. I'm not sure how to deal with this behavior. I know I won't let up, but it is no fun to be the Task Master! I take pride in my work, and I hope I'm setting a good example, and that this is a phase in her life.
Any thoughts or ideas for parents of tweens in this situation?
Posted by: shen | March 03, 2012 at 11:22 AM
We're struggling with the same tween issues as shen, plus some attitude issues. My 11-year old had the nerve to tell me the other day that he didn't need to wash his own dishes since it appeared that his dad liked to wash his dishes for him (after dad had worked a 12-hour day!) So for me the hardest part about being the Task Master is getting hubby on the same page, and not being mean about it. It's not a petty battle of refusing to wash a single dish that isn't mine, but rather an encouragement to clean up after yourself and just be generally helpful around the house.
As far as homework, he seems to do better when he has enough time and enough help, which seems obvious, but I find that I constantly underestimate how much time it is going to take him. I've also been emphasizing the "pride" aspect, complimenting him when he does a good job by saying, "You should be proud to turn that in." For him, I think slacking on his homework is something of a defense mechanism. He hasn't been doing well in school this year, so sometimes it appears that his logic is, "If I don't try hard on this, then it won't be such a big deal to do badly on it."
Posted by: ED | March 05, 2012 at 11:44 AM