A note on civility and community
When we met in 2004, the foundresses of urbanMamas were all seeking a central place on the 'net to get together with other likeminded mamas; to find and share reviews of kid-friendly businesses, events and things to do; to get advice on the issues that were especially pertinent to mothers living here in Portland. We came up with the name "urbanMamas" and we all loved it -- it represented who were were then and still are now. Women who love the opportunity to raise children in a city, who are proud of our identity as mothers. At the time, we were all working full-time in office-type jobs; now, we have a variety of working situations.
We have put in a lot of work here, and we don't do it for the free wine and antipasti at our w[h]ine nights. We do this because we still believe it's something our community needs. A place without a corporate agenda. A place that's not selling anything but our admittedly passionate ideas. A place where we can be honest -- and you can, too, without fear of being censored or attacked.
That last bit is causing problems lately. Our honesty has often been getting us, not support and advice and community, but personal -- and often hurtful -- attacks. We are called "elitist" with such regularity that it's become a caricature. Sometimes our commenters are attacked by other commenters, which at worst becomes an ugly east/west or working mama/at-home mama showdown.
What we're going to do is this: start enforcing our community standards. No personal attacks will be left published, even if the comment is half-helpful. Arguments among commenters will not be tolerated, unless they are civil and constructive. There is never -- ever -- a reason to tell another parent she is being a bad parent. As they say in therapy, label the behavior, not the person. And even then! Let's please not label! If someone comes here for advice, give it in love, or keep your thoughts to yourself.
If there are volunteers to help moderate the community, please leave a comment to this post and we'll get in touch.