Parenting Philosophies, Approaches: How did you decide?
When it comes to parenting, so much of it is "what feels right". When our first daughter was born, it seemed that our approach to parenting was one that would distort our young-adult lifestyle as little as possible. While we certainly adapted some of our interests and hobbies to her needs, we did not slow in our galavanting around town, gallery hopping, visiting with friends at happy hour, walking tours, hiking, adventuring, dining out, hosting rambunctious gatherings of friends. She sort of went with our flow, always. We were lucky that she was so easy going. At the time, none of our friends had children of their own. At the time, parenting felt organic and natural, though we had not read books on parenting philosophies per se. It felt like parenting mean that we exposed our child to our lifestyle, and she would absorb it all. We would model, and she would follow.
By the time we had our second daughter, we were making more friends with children. Perhaps due pressure to subscribe to a parenting philosophy and perhaps with the proliferation of websites like our own where we could discuss every minutia of parenting to such a fine degree of detail, we began to try to gravitate toward an approach, a discipline, a philosophy. Our daughters went to Montessori preschools that we loved. There, we were exposed to the Love and Logic approach, and it resonated. Then, the girls went on to a public charter school, which is one of only a few schools nationwide to be a demonstration school in Positive Discipline, an parenting approach to new to us as new parents at the school. Over time, we read the books, subscribed to the approach, and even attended workshops on the topic as recently as a couple of weeks ago.
When I was a child, my parents never went to any parenting workshops. Now, I see on the urbanMamas exchange an assortment of parenting workshops and classes, featuring a variety of approaches and philosophies. There are books and books; I can’t keep up with them.
A newer urbanMama recently asked me:
How do you find out about these parenting approaches, and how do you find the one that works for you? Did you stumble upon them, sort of how I did, learning about approaches through our school communities? Did you more deliberately research techniques and disciplines?