urbanMamas Portland

After a week of actually having to get all three boys together and out the door in the morning (Everett's been going to school via bus for the past two-and-a-half years, and I've been working, more or less, at home), I've finally grudgingly acknowledged the truth of the matter: for me, it's a whole hour between the moment I get out of bed and the moment we're on the bikes in the driveway (or sidewalk, if we're walking or taking Trimet). I thought back to the old days when I used to work in an office, and only had Everett to get ready, and sure enough: it was the exact same truth. Doesn't matter how bad the weather is, what sort of conveyance we're planning, what I make for breakfast (or if we decide to stop for a treat on the way), if I try to pack getting ready into anything less than an hour, I end up stressed, pushing boys past their limits, and inevitably, 10 or 15 minutes late.

So today, we were a few minutes early to school! What a pleasure. As I coasted down the hill toward home, feeling satisfied, I reminded myself how pushing my snooze button is only making my job as a mama way, way harder. So, I wondered, how about the rest of you? What's your morning truth? Is it an hour for you, more or less, or do you have some amazing skills (or extra needs) that make your mornings special-in-your-own-way? What throws you off? What gets you streamlined?

There are many Portland-based diapering systems that we love to support, gDiapers probably being one great option for those who want a sort of hybrid cloth-disposable diapering system.  Are there any other options for those mamas and papas who don't or can't go "all cloth"?  An urbanMama recently emailed:

I used disposable diapers with #1 because I could never get the hang of the cloth diapers, OK I'm just too lazy to do all that washing.  I tried the gDiapers at various points with my son too, but - again - found I had a bunch of liners and covers sitting for days in a stinky bucket because the disposable part would always squish up in the liner and I'd end up with poop/pee all over anyway. Soooooo, I'm wondering if anyone has tried the "new" Bambino Mio system of cloth diapering?

I would personally love to hear more about Bambino Mio, too.  My sister-in-law has just registered for this diapering system, and I'd love to hear more about it before we gift it to her.

From the uM archives: How do YOU cloth?

I think we've all heard these statistics by now, right? We're raising the first generation of kids who won't outlive their parents -- their life expectancy is 10 years less than ours. Obesity will cost $150 billion this year -- 10% of our health care costs -- and that's projected to be doubled by 2020. Diet-related diseases, including heart disease, diabetes, and many cancers, are by far and away the biggest killers, far worse than even auto accidents. Why?

Jamie Oliver, in his TED talk that has everyone talking, has pegged a couple of culprits. Fast food is one; sugar is two. And we're starting to realize that it's not just high fructose corn syrup that's bad; it's all kinds of processed sugar. Even that "raw" brown sugar in the sweet brown packets. Sugar in the chocolate milk (it's truly terrible; one carton of the stuff has more sugar than the American Heart Association suggests a child have in a day, and more than soda), sugar in the yogurt, sugar in the breakfast cereal, sugar in the ketchup, sugar in the peanut butter and the jelly and the bread, sugar in the pizza sauce for goodness' sake.

And where is this killer food being served? In our schools, first. Even when fresh local cooked-on-site food is available, there's an alternative that includes yogurt, chocolate milk, chicken nuggets, pizza. In our homes, second. We're killing our kids. (Not just other people. Me. Everett's lunch yesterday: yogurt and "I don't want to talk about it any more.") What's more, in many classrooms Jamie's visited, kids don't even know what fresh food looks like. A radish is maybe celery, maybe an onion; an eggplant is maybe a pear; one kid doesn't recognize a potato in its skin. Jamie doesn't mince words: we are, he says, committing child abuse by feeding kids this junk.

His takeaway is this: "I wish for everyone to help create a strong, sustainable movement to educate every child about food, to inspire families to cook again and empower people everywhere to fight obesity."

How can we do this? Here's one way: to cook, really cook, from scratch. I don't mean "a can of this and a can of that" from scratch; I mean carrots and potatoes and cabbages and dry beans. Take our kids into the kitchen (even if they're just playing with the water in the sink while you peel and chop); take them to the market; buy vegetables and fruits whole; plant a garden (you can put peas and spinach and lettuce and broccoli raab in now!). Here's one recipe I've been making that's easy, easy, cheap, and delicious -- Everett likes it just plain but I dress it up with plain yogurt, hot sauce, and some braised kale or cabbage:

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Friday Feb. 26

• Girl’s Day, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Japanese Garden, 611 S.W. Kingston.  From the outside, Hina Matsuri looks like a festival of gorgeous dolls. On the inside, it’s an opportunity to celebrate, pray for and teach daughters. Although the event is traditionally celebrated March 3, the festival at the garden begins today and continues until March 3, with a free admission for everyone on Saturday, Feb. 27. On other days, admission is $8 adults, $5.25 ages 6 to 17, free for under 6. 
• Chinese New Year, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. all weekend, Lan Su Chinese Garden, Northwest Third Avenue and Everett Street, Portland. The final weekend of the New Year Festival. Friday has story hour, traditional music and bookmarks. Saturday and Sunday have stories, crafts, traditional dancing and music, demonstrations and performances by the Lee’s Association Lion Dance Team. $8.50 Adults, 
$6.50 students (age 6-college), five and under free. 503-228-8131. 
• Musical Sing-a-Long and Storytime, 12:30 p.m., Mississippi Treehouse, 3742 N. Mississippi Ave. in the courtyard of Tupelo Alley. The new/used kids store targets this ongoing event to families with kids ages 0-8. Free. 503-928-5987.
• Story and a Stroll, 1 p.m. to 2 p.m., Tryon Creek State Park. A guided walk with a park naturalist to learn about slugs and snails. Targeted to ages 3-6. Free but limited space; call or email to register.  No drop ins. (503) 636-9886 ext. 225 or christal.florin@state.or.us
• Northeast Mom’s Playgroup, 2 p.m. to 4 p.m., Milagros Boutique, 5433 N.E. 30^th Ave. Free, bring snack to share. 
• Movie Night: Jungle Book, 5 p.m.,  Cafe Sip-n-Play 3000 SE 164th Ave.,  suite 107 Vancouver. Free. 360-896-4446. www.cafesipnplay.com
• Portland Art Museum Free Friday, 5 p.m. to 8 p.m., 1219 S.W. Park Ave. Free to adults on the fourth Friday evening every month. (The museum is always free for 17 and under). The most recent exhibit is Disquieted, contemporary works showing how art can disturb “as much as it provides solace,” the museum says. If that isn’t working for your kids, there are several other exhibits, from Asian art to photography. 
• Family Fun Night, 6 p.m. to 8 p.m., Matt Dishman Community Center, 77 NE Knott St. Tonight: Winter Olympics with pool activities. No registration required. $3/family.  503-823-3673.                                   

Saturday, Feb. 27

• Parent Institute, 7:30 a.m. to 3 p.m., Alder Creek Middle School, 13801 S.E. Webster Road, Milwaukie. A choice of 64 parenting classes help parents help kids with behavior, health, safety and school. Free lunch. Childcare available (but not free) for elementary kids whose families pre-register; if you get free or reduced price lunch you can get a scholarship to cover childcare. On-line registration here. For more info, call Linde at 503-353-6040.
• Wild in the City: Oaks Bottom Wildlife Refuge, 8 a.m. to 11 a.m., meeting place TBA at registration. Mike Houck teaches about birds on a gentle all ages walk. This is Portland’s first urban wildlife refuge and more than 100 kinds of birds have been seen here. Free, but registration required – you have to have registered by 4 p.m. Friday. Call Ariana Longanecker at 503-292-6855 ext. 112, e-mail alonganecker@audubonportland.org or register here. 
• Free Day at Portland Japanese Garden, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., 611 S.W. Kingston. See Friday’s “Girls Day” entry.
• Red Fans for Lunar New Year, 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., North Portland Library, 512 N. Killingsworth St. Decorating fans with K-5. 503.988.5394
• Trickster Tales from Many Lands, 11 a.m., Sellwood Moreland Library, 7860 S.E. 13th Ave. Storytelling for ages 5 and up. 503.988.5398
• Naturopathic First Aid for Families, 1 p.m. to 2 p.m., Milagros, 5429 N.E. 30^th Ave. An N.D. from Naturokits gives a free workshop.
• Tissue Paper Collage, 3 p.m., Belmont Library, 1038 S.E. 39th Ave. For K-5^th. 503.988.5382
• Signs of Animals, 3 p.m., Holgate Library, 7905 S.E. Holgate Blvd. Learn about the animals around you from what they leave behind: snake skins, owl pellets, antlers and more. Geared to K-5. 503.988.5389
• Vancouver Preschool Preview, 3 p.m. to 6 p.m., Three Creeks Community Library, 800-C NE Tenney Rd. The MOMS club of Vancouver hosts a preschool fair. E-mail momsclubvancouvernw@gmail.com
• Movie Night: Jungle Book, 5 p.m.,  Cafe Sip-n-Play 3000 SE 164th Ave.,  suite 107 Vancouver. Free. 360-896-4446. www.cafesipnplay.com
• Horse Show Jumper Competition, 5:30 p.m. to 8 p.m., Lake Oswego Hunt Club, 2725 Iron Mountain Road, Lake Oswego. A free show staged in honor of this month’s “Lake Oswego Reads” book, The Whistling Season. Organizers say the book “shares a glimpse of the vanished way of life on the Western plains, and how farm life and horses helped shape the American character.” But looking back won’t require too much character-forming hardship; watch from an indoor arena with heated grandstand seating, or buy dinner for $3 to $10 at the Horse & Hound Clubroom and watch through a wall of windows. 
• Live Music at the Sunnyside Swap Shop, 6 p.m. to 7 p.m., in the United Methodist Church at the corner of S.E. Yamhill and S.E. 35^th. Prospective members get to see how the swap shop parties on the weekends. Free. 

Sunday Feb. 28

• Portland Bike Swap Meet, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., Sandbox Studio, 420 N.E. Ninth Ave.  All types of bikes, including kids bikes, as well as some bike repair clinics and a “skills park.” You might want to bring cash: there’s no ATM and many vendors will only take cash. Cost is higher for early birds: $5 between 10 a.m. and 11 a.m., $2 from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., free after 2 p.m. Kids under 16 are free the whole time. If you’re just looking to rid yourself of outgrown bikes, you can drop them off at the swap meet as a donation to the Northwest Trail Alliance.  For information, e-mail Amy Singmaster at amy@nw-trail.org.

• Purim Celebration, 1 p.m. to 4 p.m., Mittleman Jewish Community Center, 6651 SW Capitol Hwy. Bring on the silliness! Inflatables, bungee, rock climbing, clowns, balloons, crafts, face painting. Two shows by The Lizard Man and his dozens of reptiles. Cotton candy. Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution. It’s Purim, so costumes are highly encouraged. Cost $4 for kids 3-12, $6 for 13-17, $8 adults. Max $24 family. Call MJCC at 244-0111 or Portland Kollel 245-5420. If you love Purim, you can check out more possibilities over the weekend here. And check out a unique Portland twist on Purim: blot out the villain’s name by banging pots and pans before donating them to the Community Warehouse.For more information, contact Roz at (503) 329-5588 or e-mail roz755@aol.com

• Skate Like A Girl, 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., Department of Skateboarding, 15 NE Hancock. A pack of volunteer scoaches (skating coaches) helps beginners to skate junkies, ages two and up, at this girls-only event. Learn “rolling around, turning, tic/tac-ing, ollies,” they say. There is a limited supply of protective gear and boards to borrow. All ages, but under 18 must have signature of a parent/legal guardian. $10 donation helps pay for equipment and other expenses for the Portland chapter of this volunteer-run group. Info at skatelikeagirlpdx@gmail.com or http://skatelikeagirl.com
• You Who, starts at noon for early fun, starts at 1 p.m. for show, Kennedy School, 5736 N.E. 33^rd Ave.  It’s the monthly children’s rock show/dance party/storytime/sing-along etc. The Builders and the Butchers perform. $10 adults, $5 ages 12 and under, free for non-walkers. 503-317-8143.
• Sounder, 1:30 - 3 p.m., Community Room, Tigard Public Library, 13500 SW Hall Blvd. An 11-year-old African-American boy's sharecropper father is sentenced to five years of hard labor after stealing food to feed his family. The boy then embarks upon a journey accompanied by his dog, Sounder, to find his father. Geared to ages 6 and up. This is part of the February Tigard Reads program, which for younger kids will center on the book Woody Guthrie: Poet of the People and will help them glimpse some history of the Dust Bowl and Depression days. (Grades 4-9 are reading A Long Way from Chicago, and older kids and adults are reading The Grapes of Wrath) 503-684-6537. 
• Curling Club Open House, 6:30 p.m., Lloyd Center Ice Rink. Olympics got you going? Ready to throw some rocks? Evergreen Curling is inviting anybody 12 and older to come get a hands on education, followed by a short game. (Younger kids can try curling  March 2 and 7 – check the website) They’d like you to register, because each class is limited to 40 people, but they’ll take walk-ins if there is space. Wear sneakers and loose clothes – they’ll provide everything else. Cost is $10 per person ($1 handling fee for web sign-up), $5 for under 18, and $20 family maximum. Register here. 

Coming Up: 

• Tree Hunt, March 1-13, Gresham. The city celebrates its trees with a two-week hunt beginning March 1. Three bronze medallions and three letterboxes will be hidden near three significant trees on city and Metro property starting March 1. Three sets of clues will be posted on the city's web page and Facebook page starting March 1. Successful hunters win a $40 nursery gift certificate or a tree sapling at Gresham's Tree Forum from 9 a.m. to noon March 13 at Gresham City Hall. The tree forum offers kids activities, refreshments and a storyteller at 10 a.m. For more information call Natural Resources Planner Tina Osterink at 
  503-618-2392.

Disclaimer: Sometimes I make mistakes or things change. Please use the web links or phone numbers to doublecheck times, dates and other information before heading out.

Just a week behind, I finally got around to reading an article in the NYT that considers treating soda like tobacco - through taxes, warning labels, and big public awareness campaigns to discourage consumption.  Also recalling a recent (California) study that linked soda consumption to obesity, it made me consider my own soda consumption, both as a child growing up and now as a parent.

Growing up, soda was the drink of choice in the household once my brothers and I were in the elementary years.  My parents drank a lot of soda.  We, the children, we allowed to drink Sprite but weren't allowed to drink Coke.  "It has caffeine; it's bad for you!"  It was my body-image issues that led to counting every calorie when I was a certain age, which is when I stopped drinking soda.  All the empty calories!  In my adulthood, I drank diet soda from time-to-time.  I recall having a Diet Coke every afternoon during my second pregnancy.

Our girls have rarely had soda.  There are some birthday parties where soda may be the only option, and - while I have suggested they try it - they have never liked the stuff.  Last fall, the family gifted me a carbonator for my birthday, to fuel my love for soda water, and - as a special treat - we have also made some cherry-flavored (cherry extract, sugar, water, and some CO2) soda for the kids.  But, even that, they don't so much love.  Sometimes they girls will tell me, coming home from playdates, that their friends offered them soda with their snacks.  All in all, though, we don't seem to be big soda drinkers.  We don't buy the stuff.

Do you drink soda?  How much?  A serving or two a day?  Maybe once in a while when you go out?  Maybe never?  How about the kids?  When did they first have soda?  Do they like it and ask for it?

The call came less than a week ago, a Portland Public Schools number that wasn't familiar. As always when I see that caller ID, I braced myself for bad news. Everett's teacher had submitted his transfer paperwork a few weeks earlier, but a few incidents on the bus had me convinced it was all for naught; I'd become certain he would be rejected and was talking again about home school. The caller was a teacher at one of the behavioral classrooms at Bridger, one of the four neighborhood schools on the east side into which Everett could potentially be placed; she wanted to meet Thursday for his transition meeting.

This was Tuesday. "We could start him the next day, on Friday!" she said brightly. "Or Monday, if he needs a chance to say goodbye to his classmates at Pioneer." I was fairly spluttering. "We hear you're going to be transporting by bike," she said. "I ride my bike to school!" She was the coordinator of walk/bike to school month. Really?

I hung up the phone, my head reeling.

A lot of things.  Like: BPA in Oregon, cell towers, kids and over achievement, childcare affordability, and chocolate milk (and Jamie Oliver!).  Maybe one of them is your issue.  Maybe not.  If not, what is??  Here are some recent posts:

• Creating change with Family Forward Oregon: Today’s Family Forward meeting was inspirational. A collection of moms, full and part time workers and SAHM’s, all struggling to make our lives work. Despite our employment differences we were all united in the opinion that things aren’t really what they could be.
• What I told the state senate about BPA (before they killed it): I never thought I'd say "I had fun testifying in Salem," but I did.  Especially after hearing industry lobbyist after industry lobbyist spin the story about BPA.  Yesterday I made the trip to Salem to speak in favor of a proposed ban on BPA in children's food & drink containers (Senate Bill 1032). 
• Get your baby products tested for fire retardants.  Ever wonder whether the products in your home are actually, literally toxic?  Now's your chance to satisfy your curiosity AND help a national study of fire retardants in baby products.
• Is it a race to nowhere?  Do you agree with Race to Nowhere Director Vicki Abeles that "...kids everywhere, regardless of their background, are under a new kind of cultural pressure to perform, the kind of pressure that impacts physical and emotional health and development"?  My kids are 4 and 7, and our 1st grade has delightfully little homework, so I've not experienced this yet.  You? 
• Cell towers in Pdx's residential neighborhoods: What gives?  RespectPDX is a group of Beaumont Wilshire residents who came together after Clearwire and the owners of the Beaumont Market expressed intent to replace a telephone pole at NE Fremont St. and NE 37^th Ave with a 60-foot combination cell tower/utility pole. It is the goal of the group to protect all neighborhoods in the face of increasing cell tower encroachment.   
• Share your childcare story to help work for change.  Good news!  Someone's working on the childcare affordability problem in this country.  And you can help by sharing your story.  Here's the skinny from the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies (NACCRRA).We're putting together a booklet of parent stories from every state that show challenges parents face in finding or affording quality child care. 
• Chocolate milk in schools, revisited.  Finally!  Someone else joins my rant about chocolate milk in elementary school!  And he's a famous chef, and he's on TED.  Ahhhh, credibility.  Check it out for yourself. 

I have had occasion to pat myself on the back for "scheduling" (hehe) my children's birthdays in the generally warmer months. But still, it's Portland! So, even in April, a birthday cannot be expected to be held out-of-doors. We've chosen to hold most of our birthday parties around the house; but for big celebrations, it doesn't really work (and who wants to clean?). Andy asks:

I was just wondering if any of you wise mamas out there had suggestions for places to have birthday parties during these cold, rainy months. Both of my kids are blessed with winter birthdays. When they were young we would just have small family gatherings at our house but now that they are a little older and want to invite more friends it just doesn't work out to have it at home, where the kids end up running in circles around our very small house. We'd like to avoid having it at Chuck E Cheese for many reasons, but don't have a huge budget to rent expensive spaces, especially given that their birthdays are just a month apart. Do you have any suggestions of places to hold small-ish birthday parties that won't break the bank?

I'd love to hear ideas, as my soon-to-be-eight-year-old has demanded a biggish party, with friends, this year. Our birthday party category turns up recommendations for a two-year-old's party; a post about indoor climbing gyms, with ideas for parties there; a good word for the Academy Theatre's birthday parties; and thoughts from those who have had parties at the Children's Museum. I'd love to hear your other ideas, especially those with less cost-per-partygoer!

Davide Simonetti/Flickr

Friday Feb. 19

• Infant Craniosacral Therapy Clinic, all day by appointment only, Alma Midwifery, 1608 SE Ankeny St. Babies six months and younger receive free treatment from Carol Gray and graduates or students of her training program. Appointments to screen infants for hearing problems are also available. Free. For an appointment call Gray at 503-236-2999 or e-mail her at carol@carolgray.com. 
• Chinese New Year, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. all weekend, Lan Su Chinese Garden, Northwest Third Avenue and Everett Street, Portland. More events this weekend and next. Friday has story hour, traditional music and bookmarks. Saturday and Sunday have stories, crafts, traditional dancing and music, demonstrations and performances by the NW Lion and Dragon Dance Association. $8.50 Adults, 
$6.50 students (age 6-college), five and under free. 503-228-8131.
• Musical Sing-a-Long and Storytime, 12:30 p.m., Mississippi Treehouse, 3742 N. Mississippi Ave. in the courtyard of Tupelo Alley. The new/used kids store targets this ongoing event to families with kids ages 0-8. Free. 503-928-5987.
• Story and a Stroll, 1 p.m. to 2 p.m., Tryon Creek State Park. A guided walk with a park naturalist to learn about the moon. Targeted to ages 3-6. Free but limited space; call or email to register.  No drop ins. (503) 636-9886 ext. 225 or christal.florin@state.or.us
• Movie Night: Fern Gully, 5 p.m.,  Cafe Sip-n-Play 3000 SE 164th Ave., suite 107 Vancouver. Free. 360-896-4446. www.cafesipnplay.com
• Dance Off Depression, 5 p.m. to 8 p.m., Tigard Public Library, 13500 SW Hall Blvd. Depression-era pleasures: 1930s-era dances (like the Charleston, Foxtrot and the Lindy Hop) taught by a professional dance instructor, followed by the Sadie Hawkins dance. Old-time snacks and music. Free. Ages 11 through adult. This is part of the February Tigard Reads program, which helps kids glimpse some history of the Dust Bowl and Depression days. 503-684-6537 
• Friday Family Night, 6 p.m. to 8 p.m., East Portland Community Center, 740 SE 106th Ave. Indoor Park toys, sports equipment, trampoline, simple crafts. $1/person. 503-823-3450.
• Winter Family Fun Night, 6 p.m. to 9 p.m., Mt. Scott Community Center, 5530 SE 72^nd Ave. Family entertainment at 6 p.m., crafts and games at 7 p.m., teen entertainment and music at 8 p.m.  Family swim from 7 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.; regular swim drop-in fee applies adult $4.50/teen $3.75/3-12 $3.25. 503-823-3183.
• Family Fun Night, 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m., St. Johns Community Center, 8427 N Central St. Concessions, crafts, play area, free popcorn. Tonight’s movie is Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaur. $3/family. 503-823-3192.
• Family Fun Night, 7 p.m. to 10 p.m., Oregon City High School, 19761 S. Beavercreek Rd., Oregon City. The class of 2010 raises money for its grad party by putting on a show for the family. Inflatable games, mechanical bull rides, pizza/dessert sales and more. Admission is free. For more info call Martha Fitts at 503-655-6874.
• Portland Taiko, 7 p.m., Da Vinci Arts Middle School, 2508 N.E. Everett St. Taiko drumming benefit for the Sunnyside Environmental School eighth grade marine biology field trip to the kelp forest at Catalina Island. Adults $8, students $6, under five are free. Family maximum $15. For information call Brandon Sawyer at 503-329-4368 or e-mail brandonesawyer@gmail.com
• Sleepybell, 8 p.m., The Waypost, 3120 N. Williams Ave. Free all ages performance. The truly gorgeous sound includes vocals by beloved Music Together instructor Betsy Levine. Listen here. 

Saturday Feb. 20

• Greenspace Planting, 8:45 a.m. to 1 p.m., Mary Woodward Elementary, 12325 S.W. Katherine St., Tigard. Friends of Trees planting event for all ages – no experience or equipment necessary, but wear sturdy shoes. For information call Andy Meeks at (503) 282-8846 ext. 24. Check the calendar for other planting events in Lents, Piedmont and Woodlawn this weekend.
• Northwest Bike Show, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday and 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday, Portland Expo Center.  Includes a “Bike Town” safety course for ages 10 and under that teaches kids to deal with stop signs, pedestrian crossings, dangerous driveways and Portland’s new “bike boxes.” Kids should bring a bike and helmet if they want to ride (a safety organization will also offer bike helmets fitted to your child for $5). They''ve scheduled some interesting presentations on balance bikes versus training wheels, cycling with children and tough talk from Legacy Trauma nurses, who say a child “should not be allowed to drive a bicycle in the street until the he/she is at least nine years old, has taken a bicycle course and has proven on a number of bike rides with an adult that he/she understands and follows the rules of the road.” Adults $7, free for children 12 and under.
• Oregon Historical Society Family Day, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., 1200 SW Park Ave. This month the society celebrates both Oregon’s 151^st birthday and Black History month. Meet storytellers and  costumed interpreters from Oregon Northwest Black Pioneers, make a birthday card for the state and take a last look at an exhibit on the Vancouver Avenue First Baptist Church, which closes Sunday. Two children admitted free with each paying ($11) adult.
• Scrap Weaving, 11 a.m., North Portland Library, 512 N. Killingsworth St. Weave a wrist cuff with scrap yarn and fabric. 503-988-5394.
• Pioneer fun, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Graham's Book and Stationery, 460 Second St., Lake Oswego. In "How Did They Do That,"  participate in activities that pioneers used to survive: dowsing, horse and buggy riding, blacksmithing and music made with all kinds of household items. Part of Lake Oswego Reads: The Whistling Season. 
• Musical Games and Movement Class, 12:30 p.m., Mississippi Treehouse, 3742 N. Mississippi Ave. Songs and stories led by elementary music teacher and Rum Rebellion lead singer Dave Noyes.
• Facets of Africa Family Day, 1 p.m., Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center, 5340 N. Interstate Ave. An artist’s lecture is followed by storytellers at 2 p.m. $10 adults, $8 children. 
• Yoga for Kids, 1 p.m., Rockwood Library, 17917 S.E. Stark St. Geared toward children 3-5 years. 503-988-5396.
• Kit Kittridge: An American Girl Film, 1:30 - 3 p.m.,  Community Room. Tigard Public Library, 13500 SW Hall Blvd. A large-screen viewing of a movie about a girl who tries to save her family from losing their home during the Great Depression. This is part of the February Tigard Reads program, which helps kids glimpse some history of the Dust Bowl and Depression days.  503-684-6537.
• Signs of Animals, 2 p.m. to 4 p.m., Gregory Heights Library, 7921 N.E. Sandy Blvd. Learn about the animals around you from what they leave behind: snake skins, owl pellets, antlers and more. Geared to K-5. (503) 988-5386.
• Cascade Festival of African Films Family Film Day, 2 p.m., Kennedy School, 5736 N.E. 33rd Ave. First, at 2 p.m., there is Obara and the Merchants, a short based on a traditional story from the Yoruba people of Nigeria. At 2:30 is “Princess of the Sun,” a feature-length tale about the 14 year old future bride of King Tut. Free. 
• Printmaking, 2 p.m., Albina Library, 3605 N.E. 15^th Ave. Kids of all ages learn a variety of printmaking and collage techniques. 503-988-5362.
• Victorian Era Music, 2 p.m. to 3:30 p.m.,  Central Library, 801 S.W. 10^th Ave. Although the library’s “Everybody Reads” book focuses on disease and science in Victorian London, this program offers some art songs and arias from the period. 503-988-5213.
• Northwest Wrestling Alliance Benefit, 3:30 p.m., Molalla High School, 357 Frances St., Molalla.  Professional wrestlers with hearts of gold perform to raise money for a Mulino Elementary first grader who is battling lymphoma. $10, or $8 for students, or free for six and unders. For more on this story, read this. For information call Joe Zenisek, 503-829-2355, ext. 5094
• Red Fans for Lunar New Year, 3:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m., Holgate Library, 7905 S.E. Holgate Blvd. Decorating paper fans; geared to K-5. 503-988-5389.
• Movie Night: Fern Gully, 5 p.m.,  Cafe Sip-n-Play 3000 SE 164th Ave.,  suite 107 Vancouver. Free. 360-896-4446. www.cafesipnplay.com
• 7^th Annual Black History Celebration, 6 p.m. to 8 p.m., Matt Dishman Community Center, 77 NE Knott St. An evening of food, music, poetry, arts and crafts. Marantha Miracles Choir, hip-hop dance class and more. Free.  For information call Robert Donaldson, Portland Parks and Recreation Teen Services Recreation Coordinator, 503.823.3673.

Sunday Feb. 21

• Hillsdale Winter Market, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., behind the Hillsdale Shopping Center off SW Capitol Hwy. at Sunset Boulevard., adjacent to the Wilson High School track. (503) 475-6555. 
• Baby Signing Class, 10:15 a.m. to 11 a.m., Mittleman Jewish Community Center, 6651 SW Capitol Hwy. Baby Signs gives a free  intro to baby signing for ages six months to two years.
• Babywearing Support Group, 11 a.m., Milagros Boutique, 5433 N.E. 30th Ave. (503) 493-4141.
• Sundays for Families, 12:30 p.m., Portland Art Museum. Family tour at 12:30 p.m., art-making at 1 p.m., storytime at 2:30 p.m. This week, the topic is landscapes in art. Adult admission is $12; kids 17 and under are free. 
• Gospel Concert, 3 p.m., Moreland Presbyterian Church, 1814 S.E. Bybee Blvd. Moreland Presbyterian Church celebrates its 125^th birthday with a concert featuring Linda Hornbuckle and the Gospel Choir Singers. Free. 503-234-8404.
• Lake Oswego Millennium Concert Band, 7:30 p.m., Lakeridge High School, 1235 Overlook Drive, Lake Oswego. Part of Lake Oswego Reads: The Whistling Season.  The book is set in 1910, when concert bands were a popular form of entertainment; the band's playlist covers a variety of concert band music from the era. Free.

Coming up: 

If the bike festival put you in the family biking mood, you might want to jot down the dates for this year’s Sunday Parkways: May 16, June 27, July 18, August 15 and Sept. 26. Check out the program’s history and new 2010 route information here. 

Disclaimer: Sometimes I make mistakes or things change. Please use the web links or phone numbers to doublecheck times, dates and other information before heading out.

What was Valentine's Day like when you were a kid? In my kindergarten at Sunnyside School, I distinctly recall a special paper bag we made for Valentine's Day and taped to our desks; every kid would circle the room dropping off the little cards in the bags. Later, I remember a shoebox I decorated with hearts and in which I invested so many hopes and dreams: for candy, for childhood true love.

This year, after a few messy hours pouring paint and glitter glue onto paper at CHAP with some of the awesome urbanMamas and children, we spent several days at home cutting out hearts, gluing, and for Everett, writing silly jokes in pencil all over construction paper (interspersed with hearts of course). His favorite: a sappy saying, which he finds hilarious, from a puppy valentine book we got from last year's Valentine's Day, or perhaps a re-telling of 'Jingle Bells,' complete with toilet humor. For Truman, I ended up making little Cupid's arrows from one of his great sponge paintings brought home from preschool. He wrote his name in the "from" section. Everett had to finish Truman's task: "it's too much work!" said he, although he painted one enormous valentine for his favorite friend, from scratch.

All but one of the valentines that came home in Truman's bag from preschool were storebought, and most of them had candy attached; it didn't surprise me, as this year I read a few blog posts and Twitter statuses that seemed to indicate a backlash to the craft-drudgery of creating valentines for kids (not that I've seen, in either of my boys' schools or even my own dining room table, a Martha Stewart-worthy alternative). So I was curious: how much work did you do this year? Did you do it all and resent it? Does your school opt out of Valentine's Day? Did your kids make their own and love every minute? Or were you (like me, to hear Truman's cries yesterday morning) a wicked taskmaster bent on forcing her child to write his name a good dozen-and-a-half times? Or did you feel that siren call of the Spiderman valentines and do the store-bought thing?

As if to punctuate the news I was listening to on NPR on the morning of February 10, rapt and horrified, as soon as the piece on the draft of the new 'Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders' released by the American Psychiatric Association today, Monroe rolled over, asked to nurse, and when refused, screamed and punched me in a brief, intense fit of anger. The news, at least in part: mental health medical professionals will be urged to consider an alternative to pediatric bipolar disorder, a label currently on the chart of a whopping 1 million (!!) (!!!!!!!) children in the U.S.: temper dysregulation disorder. I do know that I'm not qualified to make this diagnosis myself, but the child described by the mother in this piece is my seven-year-old; he's also my two-year-old; oh my god OHMYGOD if Everett were to have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder?

I learn after listening to a few more pieces on the subject, if Everett were to have been diagnosed with BPD, he'd still be at Grout; given the oppositional/defiant disorder "diagnosis" handed to us by a parenting coach and shared with the school -- I'd no idea at the time I was possibly creating a Berlin Wall's-worth of barriers for my poor child's future -- he had to be sent to a special school, not mainstreamed with gentle love and school district-provided assistance. So-called "conduct" disorders like oppositional/defiant, once on his chart, allow school districts to remove your child from the mainstream. There may be many drawbacks to temper dysregulation disorder -- I've been reading a wide range of them in the past few days (for instance, it's limited to children between six and 10, perhaps leaving the window open for psychiatrists to consider it a precursor to bipolar disorder and, thus, prescribe the anti-psychotics that are precisely the enormous concern of parents and activists surrounding pediatric bipolar disorder) -- but its availability as a more accurate diagnosis for kids like Everett, being biological and not conduct-based, could open up educational options.

The other big news was that Asperger's Syndrome will be removed from the manual (which isn't published until 2013), with the recommendation that children who meet the current criteria for Asperger's be instead diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. This, too, could have far-reaching effects mostly centered around public school accomodations and social service eligibility, with perhaps a minor effect on which treatments would be reimbursed by insurance companies.

I'm working on a larger article about this and will be interviewing a few pediatricians and other experts in the next day or so; I'd love to hear your thoughts and perhaps weave them into my interviews. I'd also be interested to see if any of you with children who fit either diagnosis "basket" were heartened, or terrified by the news? Did you see relief or great worry? I have so many rather weighty questions that I don't think the experts can answer (should Everett have been placed on anti-psychotics? Are the anti-depressants he is taking ultimately harmful? Just how badly did I effect his future by allowing that conduct disorder diagnosis? What about the kids who are on anti-psychotics? I million freakin' bipolar kids? How could that be?)

                          _{Major Clanger/Flickr}

Friday Feb. 12

• The Great Backyard Bird Count, all day Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday, wherever you are. Volunteers count birds at home or away, for as little as 15 minutes or as long as they want, on one or more days of the count. Then they submit checklists to  www.birdcount.org. The checklists help researchers at the Cornell Lab of Ornithology and the National Audubon Society. The site has tips for identifying birds as well as a photo contest. A web page for kids that includes games and common bird songs is here. The Porland Audubon Society says  local highlights have included Red-necked grebe, Golden eagle, Streaked Horned lark, Northern shrike, and Gray jay. For more information, e-mail Oregon Coordinator Seth Reams at nepobirds@yahoo.com 

• Yard, Garden & Patio Show, 10 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday, Oregon Convention Center. The garden show features a Kid Digs area with family-friendly nature activities and information, face painting and a play structure. Seminars include Garden as Playground – Growing with Pets and Kids. Admission is $11 for adults and free for kids 12 and under, but tickets are $7 in advance at Dennis’ 7 Dees and $9 in advance at other retailers. Or, get a $2 off coupon at the website. 360-210-5275.
• Story and a Stroll, 1 p.m. to 2 p.m., Tryon Creek State Park. A guided walk with a park naturalist to learn about trees. Targeted to ages 3-6. Free but limited space; call or email to register.  No drop ins. (503) 636-9886 ext. 225 or christal.florin@state.or.us
• I Love February, 4 p.m. to 5 p.m., Gregory Heights Library, 7921 N.E. Sandy Blvd.  Kids K-5 make punched tin hearts. 503.988.5386
• Chinese Knot Tying, 4 p.m. to 5 p.m., Cedar Mill Community Library, 12505 NW Cornell Road. The knots in this folk art symbolize love and unity. Ages 7 and up; to register call 503 644-0043, ext. 114.
• Movie Night: Aristocats, 5 p.m.,  Cafe Sip-n-Play 3000 SE 164th Ave.,  suite 107 Vancouver. Free. 360-896-4446. www.cafesipnplay.com
• Friday Family Swim Night, 5:30 p.m. to 7 p.m. East Portland Community Center, 740 SE 106th Ave.$2 person, kids under 3 are free. Followed by $2/person open swim from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m.. 503-823-3450.
• Family Game Night, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m., University Park Community Center, 9009 N Foss Ave. Games in the “state of the art game room,” a variety of arts and crafts, family computer times and more. $3/family. 503-823-3631
• CMC Family Friday Concert: Whistlin’ Rufus, 7:15 p.m. Community Music Center, 3350 SE Francis Street. The Portland Cello project was scheduled to play, but a last minute switcheroo brings a band with tight harmonies and roots in Irish, folk, bluegrass, jazz and rock and roll. These short volunteer-run concerts are now free, thanks to a grant from Southeast Uplift. However, there’s still a suggested donation of $5 per person, $15 maximum per family, to benefit scholarships and other programs at the Community Music Center.

 Saturday Feb. 13

• A Valentine for the Clackamas, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., Boring Station Trailhead, 1000 Block of Richey Road. Boring. Get rid of invasive species, plant natives and see educational exhibits. Bring a mug or bottle and a covered dish to share for the potluck following the restoration work. For information contact Becki Walker rebecca@clackamasriver.org  or 503-558-0550. 
• Childhood Immunization Walk-In Clinic, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., Kenilworth Church, 4028 SE 34^th Ave. (at Gladstone St.) Portland. The Multnomah County Health Department offers a walk-in clinic; childhood shots are $15 per injection but no child will be denied because of inability to pay. Not a typical Weekend Warrior event, but this might be important to some folk next week because Feb. 17 is the state’s “exclusion day.” Children have to have up-to-date immunization records on file at their daycare, preschool or school or have a religious or medical exemption. Last year about 4,667 kids missed some school before parents got the shots or paperwork straightened out. Those numbers jumped last year because the state started requiring two new shots. One is a new TDaP (tetanus, diphtheria and pertussis/whooping cough) dose for middle schoolers. The other is a two-dose early childhood series for Hepatitis A. More information on school vaccines here, including information on religious exemptions. See other county health department appointment and walk-in possibilities here. 
• LemonAid Love for Haiti, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., Vergnetti's Coffee & Sound Roots School of Modern Music, 3954 NE Williams (corner of Williams and Shaver). 3 1/2 year old Amiri wanted to help the people of Haiti; so far his family's efforts have helped raise almost $2,000 for MercyCorps.  Lemonade and pastries for sale, raffles by the local business community and a crafts table for the kids. 100 percent for Mercy Corps.
• One, Two, Buckle My Shoe, 10 a.m., Gregory Heights Library, 7921 N.E. Sandy Blvd. Preschoolers participate in familiar songs played on guitar and harmonica. 503.988.5386
• Free Family Day at the Washington County Historical Society & Museum, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., 17677 NW Springville Rd, Rock Creek PCC Campus. Pioneer toys and dress up. Some learning about the Atfalati-Kalapuya and Chinook. And the non-profit Print Arts Northwest will lead Valentine crafts: magnets, bookmarks and cards. Juice and cookies provided. 503-645-5353.
• The Art of Anime and Manga: Japanese style animation and cartoon drawing, 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., Capitol Hill Library, 10723 S.W. Capitol Hwy. This one geared to grade and middle schoolers. 503-988-5385.
• Chinese New Year Celebration, 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., Chinese Consolidated Benevolent Association, 317 N.W. Davis. Events include a lion dance, a tour of the CCBA building, and a dessert and lantern sale. 503-223-9070. 
• Valentine Collage, 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., North Portland Library, 512 N. Killingsworth St., 503.988.5394.
• Second Saturday at the Water Center, 1 p.m. to 3 p.m., Water Resources Education Center, 4500 SE Columbia Way, Vancouver. Green Home: little hands discover simple ways to fix leaky faucets, make compost, recycle and stop wasting energy.  360.487-7111 or e-mail rita.davidson@ci.vancouver.wa.us
• Fun with Brazilian Music, 2 p.m., Milwaukie Ledding Library, 10550 S.E. 21^st Ave. Musician leads kids in lively Brazilian percussion. 
• Valentine Fun, 2 p.m. to 3:30 p.m., Central Library, 801 S.W. 10th Ave. People of all ages are invited to make cards. 503.988.5123
• What do you know about H2O? 2:30 p.m. to 3:15 p.m., Gresham Library, 385 N.W. Miller Ave., Gresham. A science program aimed at K-5. 503.988.5387
• I Love February, 4 p.m. to 5 p.m., Northwest Library, 2300 N.W. Thurman St.  Kids K-5 make punched tin hearts. 503.988.5560.
• Movie Night: Aristocats, 5 p.m.,  Cafe Sip-n-Play 3000 SE 164th Ave.,  suite 107 Vancouver. Free. 360-896-4446. www.cafesipnplay.com
• Portland Country Dance Community Family Dance, 5 p.m. – 7 p.m., Fulton Community Center, 68 SW Miles St. Portland. There’s a country dance at FCC every Saturday, but once a month the group meets early for a bedtime-friendly dance, following it with a potluck supper. This month the dance includes the Portland-based Sussefusse (sweet feet) children's folk dance group. All Ages. Cost: $6/adult; $5/child; babies free; $20 family maximum. 503-981-2179.
• Children’s Concert, 7:30 p.m., All Saints’ Episcopal Church, 4033 S.E. Woodstock in Portland. The Oregon Chamber Players bring David Ogden Stiers, who leads an audience kazoo orchestra and an instrument petting zoo. At this kid-oriented concert, tickets for everyone 10 and under are $5. Adults are $15, students $12.

Sunday Feb. 14

• Chinese New Year, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Lan Su Chinese Garden, Northwest Third Avenue and Everett Street, Portland. Tiger mask coloring, red paper lantern making, storytime, lion dances, calligraphy demonstration, traditional Chinese music, dragon dance procession. The festival will continue for two weeks – check the schedule for daily activities. $8.50 Adults, 
$6.50 students (age 6-college), five and under free. 503-228-8131. 
• 2010 Chinese New Year Cultural Fair – Year of the Tiger, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., Oregon Convention Center. Traditional and contemporary cultural activities including food, folk dancing, music, martial arts, puppet shows and lion and dragon dances. $6 for adults, free for children six and under. $2-off coupon is here. 503-771-9560.
• Lunar New Year Celebration at Fubonn, 11 a.m., 2850 S.E. 82nd Ave. Oregon's largest Asian Mall offers lion dancing at 11 a.m., noon and 1 p.m. 
• Wildlife Care Center Open House, noon to 4 p.m., Audubon Society of Portland, 5151 NW Cornell Road. For the second year, the society is opening its care center, inviting families to see the inside of the hospital where it treats 3,000 injured or orphaned wild animals every year. The education birds will be out and kids will have a chance to help name the newest, a female American kestrel.  Wildlife veterinarians, naturalists, education bird handlers, and volunteers will be on hand to answer questions. Kids can draw their favorite birds at an art station; the pictures will be shown on the Audubon website. 503-292-6855. Free. 
• Celebrate the Year of the Tiger, 1 p.m. to 4:30 p.m., Gregory Heights Library, 7921 NE. Sandy Blvd. Crafts, music, food, ping pong. 503.988.5386

• Games of the ‘20s and ‘30s, 1:30 to 2:30 p.m ., Puett Room, Tigard Public Library, 13500 SW Hall Blvd. Organizers say many children played card and board games for entertainment during the Great Depression. Play old favorites such as Go Fish, Solitaire, and War, along with Monopoly (released in 1934) and Scrabble (in 1938). Geared to ages 6-12.  This is part of the February Tigard Reads program, which for kids will center on the book Woody Guthrie: Poet of the People and will help them glimpse some history of the Dust Bowl and Depression days. 503-684-6537. 
• Oregon’s 151^st Birthday, noon to 5 p.m.,  Oregon Historical Society. Tours of the Oregon, My Oregon exhibit, from an explorer’s tent onward. Pioneer music. The tale of mountain man turned lawman Joe Meek. And a slice of birthday cake. Free.
• La Victoire d’Amour: A Valentine’s Day Concert by the Wildwood Consort, 2 p.m. to 3 p.m., Collins Gallery at the Central Library, 801 S.W. 10th Ave. A Valentine's Day program of 18th century French music, intended for all ages. 503.988.5123.

 Monday Feb. 15

• Asian New Year Celebration, 9:30 a.m.- 1 p.m., Legin Restaurant Banquet Room, 8001 S.E. Division. The  Lunar New Year celebration of the Portland Community College Southeast Center. Music, arts, crafts, games, door prizes, lion dance, Asian dances, martial arts, cooking. Free parking and food is $1.  For more information contact Lien Le at lien.le3@pcc.edu.
• Open Skate, noon-2:30 p.m. and 3 p.m. to 5 p.m., Mt. Scott Community Center roller rink. 5530 SE 72^nd Ave. Admission $2, skate rental $1. 503-823-3183
• Extra Swim Times: Buckman Pool 1 p.m. to 5 p.m., Dishman Pool 1 p.m. to 3:15 p.m., East Portland Pool 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. to 9 p.m., Mt. Scott Pool 1 p.m. to 6:30 p.m., Southwest Pool 1 p.m. to 9 p.m. Normal fees apply.

Disclaimer: Sometimes I make mistakes or things change. Please use the web links or phone numbers to doublecheck times, dates and other information before heading out.

Now that I'm a relatively experienced mama, I've lost the anguish felt the first time a child under my care ever stared and pointed at someone who looked differently: whether because of darker skin, an obvious physical disability, or other not-typical appearance. I've learned to respond with equanimity or avoidance when appropriate: "Yes, there are a lot of different people on the bus!" or "Sweetie, let's use our quiet voices please." And what to do when a four-year-old kindly, loudly asks about "the old lady over there" when you suspect she's only middle-aged? An urbanNanny asks:

The 18-month-old girl that I watch has been crying every time we are near a person in a wheelchair. These experiences on the Max or in a coffeeshop we frequent are likely the only times she has seen a person in a wheelchair. When the crying happens it appears (by the look on her face) that she is scared, so I have been talking to her about how it is okay, that the person uses a chair to get around and that she uses her legs or a stroller. I'm not sure how to best handle the situation so I would love to post this as a discussion topic to get advice. 

I've often subscribed to the "tell as much of the truth, as simply, as you can and leave it at that" philosophy -- she's using that tactic admirably -- but when a child is visibly or audibly upset by a different-looking stranger, what do you do? How best to balance the child's own needs (is she unusually sensitive and empathetic?) with your desire not to hurt another human being's feelings?

My heart hurts, and my stomach: a few minutes ago, I yelled at Everett. He's seven-and-a-half, and as his dad has been away for the past two weeks doing Army duty -- he'll be away again later this month, and then, in May, he'll be mobilized to serve in Iraq for more than a year -- I'm asking the oldest boy to be far more responsible than I probably should. I know how this goes; I, too, am the oldest child of a large family, and distinctly remember feeling so infused with the responsibility of my first-born role, before I even started kindergarten I'd have nightmares in which I was the only one who could save my whole family from a house fire, an out-of-control car.

I'd been struggling with Monroe, who had dumped a quarter-cup of vanilla into the cookies, and was wailing when I wouldn't let him swipe enormous finger-fulls of butter, maple syrup, and oh, that vanilla. He was holding his arm and crying, "owe, owe, OWE!" -- I'd "hurt" him by holding his arm back from the bowl after five illicit tastes. Everett could help, I knew it: he's great with his little brother and I often look to him to fill in with patience when I've lost it.

But Everett was deep in a farm game on the iPod, and wasn't having any of this man-of-the-house baloney. I ordered him off, or else; he ran upstairs in tears. There I was: spreading my ill-patience around to the rest of the family instead of healing it. I took my breaths, set Monroe in front of the left-behind iPod, and went to apologize. But, honestly, my apology wasn't that great. I had to tell him, look, kid: when I am losing my temper and need your help, there's no one else. You have to be my go-to guy. For years.

While I work on controlling my temper, I also have this weighty question hanging heavy in the air like the scent of caramelizing vanilla: how do I temper the duty burden I'm sure to be yoking on Everett's shoulders for years to come? Where do I strike the balance between the trust and reliability I know he's earned, on one hand; and his very real needs for emotional development on the other? Have others here juggled this, whether because of being a single parent, or having a partner who frequently travels, or works very long hours? I'd love to hear your stories.

[And oh yes: the cookies turned out great. Way too much vanilla was just right.]

When I wrote about going shampoo-free a few weeks ago, I had no idea it would inspire such great discussion, action, and several more ways to release myself from the bonds of "product" I've been struggling against since adolescence. Joanna left a comment that once more set me free. "i also haven't "washed" my face in 10 months and no longer have the cystic acne which i was told once by a dermatologist would be with me for the rest of my life unless i took accutane, but i guess that's another blog post."

Indeed, said I, and emailed her for more information. She said she has been using the oil cleansing method (OCM). I Googled around a bit, and found this amazing and detailed post on Simple Mom. I chose to make my mix of about 1/3 olive oil and 2/3 castor oil (purchased at Walgreens, found among other methods of constipation relief) -- good for oily skin -- and tried it a few days later. I've been having trouble with painful blemishes on my shoulders and upper back, so I tried it there, too.

Within a few hours, my skin felt better than it has for a long time. It was already looking smoother and more even, too, and the next day I realized some of the acne on my back was healed entirely. It was such a simple, elegant use of natural ingredients; and the process is restful and relaxing too. I doubt I'll ever buy product for my face again and you can bet I won't be spending my luxury money (at that time in the future when I have some, that is) on spa facials again. After all, I have them right here at home.

Is there any annual holiday whose crafts I more enjoy than Valentine's Day? It's definitely on my top three. But many years, I find myself cutting out hearts as the sun sets on the 13th, watching the missed opportunities for Valentine delight setting along with them.

Determined to not let this year be a missed opportunity, a few of us urbanMamas are gathering Saturday at 3 p.m. at CHAP (the Children's Healing Art Project), a nonprofit that provides in-hospital art experiences for sick children and a space in the Pearl District -- the Art Factory -- to host open art "play" during weekends and daily throughout the holiday season. We'll be making Valentines with our kids and hope you can come too!

1030 NW Marshall
Saturday, February 6
3 - 5 p.m.

Please let us know if you plan to come in the comments; we'll be picking up the $5/child tab for those urbanMama families who join in.

This email comes in at the very moment my husband is trolling craigslist and online furniture stores, considering upgrading our queen-sized bed to a king-sized one.  Many mornings, there are four bodies in the bed: myself, my husband, our six-year old, and our four-month old.  It is a super-cozy situation, but it just may be too snug.

An urbanMama recently emailed, thinking proactively, about how her bed may also soon be occupied
by four bodies.  Both she & I would love to hear your thoughts:

I have a 3 1/2 year old that we recently transitioned (mostly) to her own bed.  She starts the night in her bed and comes into our bed at some point in the night - sometimes before midnight, other times not until it's nearly time to rise and shine.  We don't consider this a problem - we've never been fans of forced solo-sleeping.  The issue is I'm pregnant with #2.  We'd like to co-sleep with the second child, but are concerned about our daughter coming into the bed and it being too crowded or her rolling over onto the new baby.  I'd love to know how other co-sleeping families have dealt with this.  Do we have to make a choice between the two?  Are there other, more creative ways to continue to co-sleep as our family grows?

 Friday Feb. 5

• Tigard Swim Center’s 40^th Birthday Party Day I, 5:30 a.m. to 1:30 a.m. (mm- hmm), Tigard High School.  The 40-hour party is a fundraiser to help save the community-used swimming pools at Tigard and Tualatin High Schools and create a new Tigard-Tualatin Aquatic District.  Friday’s events include a public swim with birthday cake and games, a dive in movie and even a midnight swim. Most events are free and open to the public. Schedule here. For more information call 503-431-5455 or e-mail info@savettpools.com

• Glade Trail Snowshoe Walk, 10 a.m., meet outside the Mt. Hood Cultural Center and Museum, 88900 E. Hwy. 26, Government Camp. Three-mile snowshoe trip guided by the U.S. Forest Service covers local history and ecology. Free, but bring snowshoes. For those with experience snowshoeing and capable of 2-3 miles.  Repeats Sunday. (503) 622-3191.
• Musical Sing-a-Long and Storytime, 12:30 p.m., Mississippi Treehouse, 3742 N. Mississippi Ave. in the courtyard of Tupelo Alley. The new/used kids store targets this ongoing event to families with kids ages 0-8. Free. 503-928-5987.
• Story and a Stroll, 1 p.m. to 2 p.m., Tryon Creek State Park. A guided walk with a park naturalist to learn about beavers. Targeted to ages 3-6. Free but limited space; call or email to register.  No drop ins. (503) 636-9886 ext. 225 or christal.florin@state.or.us
• Trillium Lake Guided Snowshoe Walk, 1 p.m., meet at Trillium Lake Sno-Park, 2.5 miles east of Timberline Road off Hwy. 26. U.S. Forest Service ranger will discuss local ecology, history and geography. Free, but bring snowshoes and a Sno-Park permit for parking. For those with experience snowshoeing and capable of 2-3 miles.  (503) 622-3191.
• Target Free First Friday night, 5 p.m. to 8 p.m., Portland Children’s Museum, 4015 SW Canyon Road. Tonight, a celebration of smiles – a puppet show on toothcare as well as toothbrush painting with folks from the OHSU dental school.  503-223-6500 www.portlandcm.org
• Movie Night: Cars, 5 p.m.,  Cafe Sip-n-Play 3000 SE 164th Ave.,  suite 107 Vancouver. Free. 360-896-4446. www.cafesipnplay.com
• Buckman Family Dance, 6:30 p.m., Buckman Sun School, 321 S.E. 16th Ave. Loveness Wesa performs. Free, but donations accepted. 503-856-0230.
• Four Family Nights at Portland community centers: 1) Family Fun Night,  6 p.m. to 9 p.m., Southwest Community Center, 6820 SW 45th Ave. Tonight: Go for the Gold Olympics. $3/person. 503.823.2840. 2) Friday Family Night, 6 p.m. to 8 p.m., East Portland Community Center, 740 SE 106th Ave. Indoor Park toys, sports equipment, trampoline, simple crafts. $1/person. 503-823-3450. 3) Family Fun Night, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m., Peninsula Park Community Center. Tonight’s movie: UP! $3/family. 4) Star Trek (2009), 6:30 p.m., Multnomah Indoor Cinema (Multnomah Arts Center) 7688 SW Capitol Hwy. Also live music and bottomless bags of popcorn. 503-823- 2787.

Saturday Feb. 6

• Tigard Swim Center’s 40^th Birthday Party, Day 2, 1:30 a.m. (yup) to 9:30 p.m., Tigard High School.  The two-day party is a fundraiser to help save the community-used swimming pools at Tigard and Tualatin High Schools and create a new Tigard-Tualatin Aquatic District.  Saturday’s events include free swim lessons at 11 a.m. (call 503-431-5455 to register), and public swim sessions with birthday cake and games. Most events are free and open to the public. Schedule here. For more information call 503-431-5455 or e-mail info@savettpools.com.
• Tet in Oregon 2010, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., LUXE Autohaus - 410 NE 17th Ave. Celebrate Vietnamese New Year. Traditional music, dancing and martial arts. Admission is $4, free for children under 5.
• Preschool Fair, 10 a.m. to noon, Hillsdale Library, 1525 S.W. Sunset Blvd. Take a look at some southwest area preschools. 503.988.5388
• From the Inside Out: An Introduction to Human Bodies, 11 a.m. North Portland Library, 512 N. Killingsworth St. Learn what makes your body work and how to keep it healthy. Geared to K-5. 503.988.5394. Repeats at 3 p.m. at Woodstock Library, 503.988.5399. Several county library programs have a science focus this month, relating to the county’s Everybody Reads book, The Ghost Map.
• Kenji and the 3R’s puppet show, 11 a.m., Sellwood-Moreland Library, 7860 S.E. 13^th. Learn about reusing, reducing and recycling. 503.988.5398.
• Musical Games and Movement Class, 12:30 p.m., Mississippi Treehouse, 3742 N. Mississippi Ave. Songs and stories led by elementary music teacher and Rum Rebellion lead singer Dave Noyes.
• Carnegie Center Open House, 1 p.m. to 4 p.m., 606 John Adams St., Oregon City. The beautiful 1912 Carnegie Center is currently vacant, but city commissioners are looking for ideas. A few family-friendly uses have been suggested here. 

• Valentine Collage, 1 p.m. to 3 p.m., St. Johns Library, 7510 N. Charleston Ave. Geared to grades K-8. 503-988-5397.
• American Folk Crafts, 1:30 to 2:30 p.m., Puett Room, Tigard Public Library, 13500 S.W. Hall Blvd. Make tambourines to play folk music, paint tin cans and use salt dough to create a wall ornament. Geared to ages 5 and up. This is part of the February Tigard Reads program, which for younger kids will center on the book Woody Guthrie: Poet of the People and will help them glimpse some history of the Dust Bowl and Depression days. 503-684-6537. 
• Mad Science: What do you Know about H2O, 2 p.m., Central Library. Geared to K-5. 503-988-5123.
• Chinese New Year Celebration, 2 p.m., Wy'east Middle School Auditorium. 1112 S.E. 136th Ave., Vancouver. Puppet show by Dragon Art Studio and traditional lion dance by Portland Lee's Association, along with performances by Salmon Creek Chinese School and Portland Chinese Art and Cultural Center. For info call Vancouver Community Library at 360-695-1566 or Amy Lee at 360- 699-8831.
• Making Mobiles, 2 p.m. to 5 p.m., Gresham Library, 385 N.W. Miller Ave. 503-988-5387.
• Valentine Fun, 3 p.m. to 5 p.m.,  Belmont Library, 1038 S.E. 39th Ave.. Cards and crafts for preschool – grade 8. 503-988-5382.
• The Art of Anime and Manga: Japanese style animation and cartoon drawing, 3 p.m. to 4:30 p.m., Northwest Library, 2300 N.W. Thurman St. Geared to middle school and teens. 503-988-5560
• Movie Night: Cars, 5 p.m.,  Cafe Sip-n-Play 3000 SE 164th Ave.,  suite 107 Vancouver. Free. 360-896-4446. www.cafesipnplay.com
• Family Flying Squirrel Night, 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m., Tryon Creek State Park,  A night hike and a craft help you learn about flying squirrels. $6/person, preregistration required. 

 Sunday Feb. 7

• Viking Pancake Breakfast, 8:30 a.m. to 1 p.m., Norse Hall, 111 NE 11^th Ave. $6 adults, $3 ages 5-12, free for under 5. Children’s Nordic story time in the library at 10 a.m. 503-236-3401.
• OMSI $2 Day, 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., Oregon Museum of Science and Industry,  1945 SE Water Avenue. Only $2 (instead of $9-$11) for general admission. Perhaps a great time to visit the new SPACE exhibit, where you can handle moon meteorites and Mars rocks and ride a bike-powered centrifuge to experience the physical challenge of space flight.
• Hillsdale Winter Market, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., behind the Hillsdale Shopping Center off SW Capitol Hwy. at Sunset Boulevard., adjacent to the Wilson High School track. (503) 475-6555.
• Text Me When Dinner’s Ready, 10 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., Mittleman Jewish Community Center, 6651 SW Capitol Hwy. A discussion for parents and their tweens/teens about improving communication. Topics include myspace, facebook, texting and cellphones. Free, but RSVP to textme@portlandjewishacademy.org.
• Portland Haiti Relief Container #2, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., SE 12th and Ankeny, Portland. They say the second container is 70 percent full. After Goodwill donated several pallets of medical supplies, they are still looking for "Peanut Butter, Baby Formula, Canned Meats, Dome Tents, Baby Diapers, Flashlights & Batteries, Tarps, Rope & Duct Tape. Volunteer Loaders Needed." 
• Superbowl out of the house, varying opening times, various McMenamins theater and pub locations. Parents can bring their kids. Free. Bagdad Theater and Pub at 1 p.m.,  Mission Theater at 1:30 p.m., St. Johns Theater and Pub at 2 p.m. www.mcmenamins.com
• Superbowl with shopping, noon to 5 p.m., Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W. Burnside. Billed as an "indie clearance sale," with about 50 Portland-centric vendors and the Superbowl on in "Lola's Room." Free, all ages.
• Gardening for Kids, 1 p.m., Portland Nursery, 5050 S.E. Stark St. A fun, hands-on project. Free. E-mail stark-classes@portlandnursery.com to register.
• Superbach Sunday, 1:30 p.m. to 3 p.m., Rose City Park Presbyterian Church, 1907 N.E. 45th Ave. And now for something completely different. This annual concert by the Bach Cantata Choir of Portland includes music composed 600 year ago. Works by Ockeghem, Clemens non Papa, Monteverdi and Giovanni Pergolesi.  Free, but donations accepted.  Something to think about. 
• Red Fans for Lunar New Year, 2 p.m., Woodstock Library, 6008 S.E. 49th Ave. Decorate red accordion fans with origami papers, rubber stamp Chinese characters, glitter and more. Geared to K-5. 503.988.5399
• Stefanefit, 4 p.m., The Echo Theatre, 1515 SE 37th Ave. A show with hand balancing, aerial dance, juggling, martial arts, comedy and a “four-armed drum monster.” Proceeds will benefit acrobat Stefan Furst, a generous mentor and coach hurt in a windsurfing accident. Performers include members of  DoJump and Do Jump’s teen company, Circus Artemis, Imago Theatre, and Night Flight.  The show is designed for all ages, but the organizer says “there will be cartoonish martial arts and loud drumming. Some kids are sensitive to that.” For more information, and to see a trailer, go to www.terazarra.com. Suggested donation is $7-$15.

Coming up: 

Midwife and craniosacral therapy teacher Carol Gray is holding a series of free clinics this spring and summer offering craniosacral therapy for infants six months and younger. Some are treatment demonstrations for her students (in which she or graduates of her program treat babies while students observe); others involve supervised student practitioner treatments. Spring dates include include Feb. 19 at Alma Midwifery, March 15-19  at a Northwest Portland seminar and April 28 at Nurture, 1614 NE Alberta St. Appointments must be arranged with Gray. For more information on the clinics and treatment, visit her website.

Also, the 33rd Annual Portland International Film Festival Feb. 11-27 is offering quite a few matinee showings of their five family-friendly films this year: Letter to the King from the Netherlands; Moomin and Midsummer Madness from Finland; A Shine of Rainbows from Canada and Ireland; A Town Called Panic from Belgium and Through a Glass, Darkly from Norway. Tickets are $10 for adults and $7 for children 12 and under. You can check the schedule of showings, buy tickets, and even see trailers online.  

Disclaimer: Sometimes I make mistakes or things change. Please use the web links or phone numbers to doublecheck times, dates and other information before heading out.

This morning, Olivia heads back to work, her maternity leave for her third babe concluded. I think I'm feeling all of the things she must be feeling, for her: it's so hard to go back to work! (Plus, we loved having her extra energy here on urbanMamas.) We know how many things are on a mama's mind when she heads back to work, and the more children at home (at least for me), the more conflicted I felt.

We've chatted before about some of the mechanics of going back to work; whether struggling to bottle-feed a baby who'll be without mama's breast for several hours a day, the logistics of a nanny share; some thoughts on how to return to work after a long absence; and about how much leave we'd want (were we to have a say in such things). But today, let's tell stories about returning to work: how long had you been at home? How did you feel? What was the first day like? Did you feel a little guilty enjoying that unencumbered walk to the coffee shop, the feel of "nice clothes" on your freshly-showered skin? Or did you sit down at your desk that first morning and resolve to fight for laws requiring longer, paid leave for parents everywhere? (yeah!)