Do you hide your hooters?
Ah, the joys of nursing. There are so many! Between my first two children, I nursed over five years. We would nurse everywhere -- on subways, on street corners, in parks, in restaurants, in churches during wedding ceremonies at which I was in the bridal party, on - one of the more nostalgic spots -- the floor of the World Trade Center (pre-September 11, 2001) waiting for the TKTS line to open. Never in that half-decade did I have more than a shawl or napkin or burpie cloth to cover the excess flesh exposed when I had to whip out a nam-nam to nurse. Nowadays, there are nursing covers galore. There are hats, shawls, and specially-engineered cloths with a wire to allow for an opening so you can maintain eye contact with the nursing babe.
Or, there is nothing.
I am the sort of mama who doesn't so much care about the exposure. My breasts are made for nursing, and that's just what they'll do. Cover or not. But just recently, as a welcome baby gift for our newest addition, a friend sent a hand-made hooter-hider, the sort with the wire that will allow for the eye-to-eye contact with nursing babe. I love it. It makes it so easy to find just a little bit of privacy. It's funny because I never so much cared before.
Which makes me wonder: do you/did you use a nursing wrap or shawl? Do you/did you carefully cover up when nursing? or, do you/did you just do what you had to do and nurse whenever, wherever, without concern for covering up?
I never really used one for everyday nursing. But what I found useful about those "hooter hiders" was that it freed me up to wear clothes that I normally wouldn't. For example, while breastfeeding my first child, I lived in tops and bottoms (shirt/skirt, shirt/pants combos); I never wore a dress as it would be too difficult for public nursing. With the second kid, I had a nursing cover, so I was able to wear dresses or tops that I had to pull down and expose a lot more than I was otherwise comfortable with (like my entire chest!). So they're useful, I guess. But I still sort of resent their existence, like someone's suggesting that I "should" use one. Too much trouble for everyday.
Posted by: Anjani | November 09, 2009 at 01:20 AM
When i ventured out into public & my babes are little/first born, I use a hooter hider that I was gifted. As they get older and get more distracted by the cloth, I ditch it and just use the "under my top shirt, over my undershirt" method. It seems to work really well too.
Posted by: Becky | November 09, 2009 at 07:30 AM
I never used one with my first, but I agree with Anjani that i carefully chose what to wear so as not to expose my entire chest. I was fond of the nursing tank top with a t-shirt over the top - covered up the now flabby tummy while exposing the boob. I just got a nursing cover as a gift for my second and I plan to use it. Maybe not every time, but enough.
Posted by: anon | November 09, 2009 at 07:33 AM
I used my nursing cover as a cover up when I was pumping in the car during the work days. Sometimes to cover up and sometimes to catch the spills. I always felt much more self-conscious about pumping than nursing in public (or semi-public) situations.
Posted by: Jen | November 09, 2009 at 08:44 AM
I used mine a lot at the beginning. I had the hardest time getting a good latch with my daughter, so I had to expose a lot of flesh everytime she latched on -- shirt hiked up, one hand under my breast, the other guiding her to the nipple. You get the point. If I could have nursed discreetly without -- or if I could have shed my silly modesty about nursing -- I would have.
I gave one as a gift to my ultra-modest sister-in-law who basically gave up on nursing her first because she hated NIP-ing so much. If nursing covers get more moms to nurse more, or longer, than I think they are great. But no mom should ever have to cover up to nurse in public.
Posted by: wami | November 09, 2009 at 09:55 AM
I also did the "under the top shirt, over the undershirt method" (where the top shirt was generally a v- or scoop-neck, and the undershirt was typically one of those white ribbed tanks I stole from my hubs).
Funny, like anon, I was more concerned about my belly hanging out than any boob-exposure.
Posted by: egl | November 09, 2009 at 09:58 AM
I'm nursing now and use it religiously. Like wami, my daughter and I also struggle with latching and I use a nipple shield so nursing is a bit of an involved process where I'm quite exposed. Interestingly, I've noticed that I use it more to make other people comfortable (like my father) then because I'm modest. I also like how it covers the post-baby tummy. All in all, it gives me an added feeling that no one will bother me, be bothered by me, etc. and I nurse wherever, whenever my daughter wants to.
A note about the hiders - the ones I saw in stores seemed really expensive. It occured to me that it would be really easy to make one yourself. I'm not crafty, so I got one on etsy for half the price of the fancy store ones including shipping. The color is prettier too! Just something for mama's to consider.
Posted by: H | November 09, 2009 at 11:58 AM
I sometimes use the layered shirt method, too. And like wami said, whatever it takes to help a mama breastfeed....
I'm always trying to figure out a way to bring less, with a toddler and tiny baby. A hooter hider seems like one more thing to pack.
I struggle with covering up, too. I'd like to take part in normalizing breastfeeding. The more people see it, the more comfortable they'll be with it. And the best way for a prospective mother to learn how to breastfeed is to see other mamas doing it.
On the other hand, I really hate to make my father-in-law/nephew/conservative friend squirm or walk away every time I pull out a boob.
And then there are the men who gape. I said to a guy once, " Hey, it's like the sunset. You glance at it, appreciate it's beauty, and look away quick. Or you might go blind."
Let's face it mamas. Boobs are just the universal sign of Goodness. They can sell everything from fast food to fast cars, AND they nourish our young.
Posted by: lea | November 09, 2009 at 01:20 PM
"I said to a guy once, " Hey, it's like the sunset. You glance at it, appreciate it's beauty, and look away quick. Or you might go blind.""
OMG that's the best thing I've heard in ages. Thank you.
I never felt the need to cover up, but didn't have much to hide :) Other than the belly. Thank goodness for nursing tanks.
Posted by: jj | November 09, 2009 at 01:55 PM
I'm one of the wherever, whenever sort of mamas. If I'm going to be in close quarters with people - like on an airplane - I dress accordingly - usually a cardigan so I can pull it around as needed and just nurse out the top. Or I go under the shirt,and then I feel adequately covered for just about anything. If people have to see a little squooshy tummy, too bad.
Like others, I don't like to pack anything extra - I never even used strollers much. Love the Maya pouch, which also helped with discreet, walking-around nursing, even while grocery shopping! I was shopping with my sister once, and she was right next to me, and didn't even know I was nursing my newborn.
The only time I was uncomfortable was with my first child, when my father-in-law was around a lot, and HE was uncomfortable.
Posted by: karen | November 09, 2009 at 02:42 PM
Thankfully the choice is individual. My reaction to nursing covers is sadness. I feel it perpetuates the public's view that we NEED to cover up. I have never seen anyone being inappropriate with their boob in public. As if moms don't have enough to carry around and remember...that's just my stance.
Posted by: stellamama | November 09, 2009 at 02:46 PM
Nope, no nursing covers in the two years that I nursed our daughter. Baby's body covered up most of my tummy, and her head covered my boob. I felt like I could breastfeed in a crowded area like a restaurant, church, or workplace and have only a few people in my immediate area be aware of what I was doing, as opposed to using a nursing cover that states to the world that you're doing something that warrants covering up.
Posted by: allison | November 09, 2009 at 03:28 PM
I've only used covers around my father in-law and grandfather on brief visits. More out of respect than anything, partly a generational thing.
Yet, in public I don't use a cover, and never felt akward or uncomfortable about it. Thankfully my kids never pull off much, so there's not as much chance to be exposed. I would say that 9 out of 10 there is no nipple shown, and the 10% people have to be gawking to see anything. I think its all about people's perception and whether or not we want to be modest for other people's benefit.
Posted by: Darcy | November 09, 2009 at 04:53 PM
I was really modest in the beginning with my son and used a hh to cover up but then as he got bigger and I got more experienced I didn't care anymore and was always pretty careful about not exposing my whole boob. I figured it's natural, he's hungry if someone has a problem whatever. When I was around my in-laws however I was more inclined to use it because they seemed a lot more modest about that sort of thing (plus my mother in-law made me 2 hh!)
I don't think there's anything wrong with people wearing them, it doesn't necessarily mean it's a societal shameful thing, it can be like anything. Some people feel comfortable wearing bikinis and others don't, etc...
Posted by: Alyssa | November 09, 2009 at 07:46 PM
My husband packed my hooter-hiders in my diaper bag every time - I had no idea where it lay and never used it.. he would bring it out whenever I nursed outside and insisted I use it - when I refused, he walked away a little upset and with a big frown...
Posted by: dbanon | November 09, 2009 at 08:55 PM
I think that whatever helps mamas feel more comfortable nursing is great. That said, even my newborn babies' heads were bigger than my breasts, so "whipping one out", for me, we'll there's not much whipping involved! I love being a "hey, world, nursing is normal" mommy. I nurse everywhere. It's hardly noticed by anyone.
Interestingly, I had to pull a (gentle) activist mama stance today at Kaiser. I was there getting an swine flu vaccination for my newly-toddling babe. I told the nurse that I'd nurse the baby while she did the shot. She tried to tell me that I should just nurse the baby afterwards, and that I could just go over behind that screen there for some privacy. "Ha! What are you, afraid of boobs, Ms. Nurse?", I thought to myself. But I simply stated firmly, "No, I'll nurse her before and during and then after. It'll be MUCH better that way for her." And that's what I did. I have to say that I was a little surprised to run into that particular attitude at Portland Kaiser, or all places, but whatever. I was just so thankful to get the babe her swine flu vaccine!
Posted by: Mamamamama | November 09, 2009 at 10:23 PM
Since my son always grabbed at and tried to fling away any cover over his nursing head, I gave that idea up pretty quickly because all the motion underneath the blanket was more attention-getting than anything else! Like other moms here, I was more concerned with my stomach hanging out (literally!) anyway, so I just got a few of those nursing tanks and put them under all my normal shirts. Easier and cheaper than buying special nursing shirts, and less noticeable than a blanket or cover.
Plus, my son was such a single-minded nurser, that most people just figured he was sleeping against me -- very little popping off and on to reveal anything! (When I did want to be very modest, at a dinner party with in-laws, I would nurse him in the sling and that covered up everything.)
Posted by: nwmom | November 10, 2009 at 11:33 AM
I really liked my nursing cover early on. I found NIP a little disconcerting in the beginning, plus I had to do a lot of exposure as baby and I were still learning. Once we got good at it, I used the cover very rarely. I really loved it in close spaces like airplanes and restaurants. People are just a little too close and I felt baby and I needed a little privacy. It also helped her sleep on airplanes, shutting out some of the stimulation. Now she is a toddler and flings the thing around, we've moved beyond the Hooter Hider apparently. For me the nursing cover was too much trouble for everyday use, plus I live in a pretty NIP friendly place. While I agree that we shouldn't feel the necessity to hide breastfeeding, the fact is we aren't all comfortable bearing all in public. Also, can be a lot of social pressure about this depending on where you live. Frankly, I think focusing on covering or not covering is missing the point. We live in a country with really lousy breastfeeding rates. If Hooter Hiders means women are nursing more...I say hooray for the Hooter Hider.
Posted by: MamaJoy | November 10, 2009 at 01:40 PM
Personally, I was always turned off by the idea and the name of the "Hooter Hiders." Sorry, but nursing is 100% natural and has happened as long as the earth has existed, so I always resented the fact that those things were even created because I think it puts women in a position of feeling "ashamed" if they are exposing any amount of breasts, PERIOD.
That being said, I never used one, but I understand that some moms like some amount of modesty and if they find them useful, then great, but I myself found the nursing bras (ones sold at Target even) worked fine for me. And while I personally have issues with it, I do think if it helps women nurse more or creates a better environment for nursing, then I will try to look at the positive side of it, but it's really hard to get pass that horrible name!!
Posted by: TJ | November 10, 2009 at 10:23 PM
My baby has always hated any cover interfering with her ability to look around while nursing (sometimes taking the boob with her as she turned her head, ouch). Maybe the nursing covers would have helped, I never bothered to get one, instead I used jackets, blankets, whatever I had within reach. I was an H cup when fully engorged, so baby did not really cover me and I couldn't handle the looks, I had to at least try to cover up although there were plenty of bare moments in public. Nursing tops look like a wonderful alternative but do not provide enough support for us bigger breasted mamas.
Posted by: andy | November 10, 2009 at 11:36 PM
I can't believe it now, looking back, but I never (NEVER) nursed in public with my first baby. I usually left the room in my own home to feed if we had company, unless it was my sister or mom or someone else I was fully comfortable with.
At restaurants, I remember dragging a chair into the unisex bathroom to nurse and being appalled that there was no place to sit in there in the first place besides the toilet.
I guess it seriously never occurred to me to nurse in public. (I did not have a support system of fellow moms, being the absolute first of any of my friends or family of my generation to have a baby).
A lot has happened since then. Now, nursing my second baby, I generally don't give a &#(*&$ what anyone thinks and nurse anywhere. The only time I found myself wanting to cover up was during a weekend vacation with some very conservative family friends who were also new moms, and they were all using nursing cover-ups. I ended up borrowing their cover-ups while I was there because I had gotten uncomfortable.
She ended up giving it to me, but I have yet to use it again.
Posted by: Briana | November 11, 2009 at 12:41 PM
I was a size G cup while nursing and my daughter pulled off CONSTANTLY, thus revealing the whole areola (and spraying milk everywhere) so I loved mine.
Posted by: anon | November 11, 2009 at 03:21 PM
I too don't really like the "Hooter Hider" name, but mostly I never used one because it just seemed like one more thing to deal with. After having lots of nursing trouble, I focused on the nursing and not what others were thinking.
That being said, whatever works for a mom is a good choice for her. When I teach breastfeeding classes, I always tell folks that it's up to them. I'm surprised to often hear that they think covering up is required by law!
Posted by: StumptownMom | November 12, 2009 at 10:17 AM
I don't eat with a blanket or smock over my head, nor does my child. I don't eat in a restroom, nor does my child. No one has ever asked me to 'cover up' or 'go somewhere private'. If someone ever did make a comment, I'd continue nursing while telling that person about my legal rights to breastfeed.
Posted by: Mary | November 12, 2009 at 06:03 PM
For those who like the coverage, I just got an email about a cute coverup item: http://www.driacover.com/
Posted by: olivia | August 31, 2010 at 11:06 AM