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urbanPapas need friends too: Seeking SAHDs

For sure, we have many fewer conversations here on urbanMamas dedicated to the papas, which isn't to say that daddyhood isn't important!  But, we know there are dads who are faithful readers of urbanMamas.  An urbanPapa recently emailed seeking paparaderie with other stay-at-home dads (SAHDs):

Are there dads lurking on the urbanMamas site who have advice for a new dad who's at home with his daughter? Do stay at home dads meet up anywhere in Portland?  My partner just happened to be finishing an engineering program just as the economy tanked.  I've been back at work for two months, while he's full time at home with our five month old daughter. We'd love to hear from other dads who by choice or circumstance are taking care of the kids.

If there are papas out there who'd like to get together for a SAHD gathering or a daddy gathering, please let us know!   We can help facilitate getting that group together.

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There's a pretty active stay-at-home dad community. Read about them here:

http://blog.oregonlive.com/themombeat/2009/05/courtesy_of_mlivecom_when_eric.html

http://www.outdoordads.org/

Not really for SAHDs but still a way to meet dads.

Also any community center classes (swim lessons, baby sign or music) have lots of dads. Storytimes at the library maybe but I've seen mostly women with babies there ...

He's not that much of a rarity around here. Some of my best parent friends have been SAHDs that I've met in classes over the years. As your baby gets older he'll meet lots and lots of dads at parks.

This may be the same as pdxdad posted... try http://www.portlanddad.com

our first is due in the fall. my husband will be staying home and I'm excited to share the results of this thread with him.

My husband was a full time then part time stay at home dad, starting 2 1/2 yrs ago. I was surprised at how unwelcome he felt in the stay-at-home parent community. He went to storytimes and community play things, and moms clumped together, did not initiate or include him in conversations, and were generally unresponsive when he tried to be part of them. It was really hard for him, as he is very friendly and he usually gets along better with women than with men. He was able to connect with one other SAHD and have some playdates, but the other child was 2 years older and doing different things. I hope things come together better for these dads; it's such a special thing to be able to stay at home with your child, and being part of a community is a big part of that and so important.

I can understand your husband's frustration, keenbeen. I am a SAHD of a 2-year old little girl, and I've experienced the same thing. I've been searching for playgroups to join through meetup.com, and every single group I have contacted or attempted to join has not responded, despite the groups being very active with many members. I'm looking forward to checking out some of the links posted here.

I've been a SAHD for 2 1/2 years. My wife and I moved here from the Bay Area a year ago when our youngest daughter was born. I felt quite isolated when I first became a SAHD, in CA, then I met some great moms at a class and we all bonded very well and play dates all the time. The past year here in PDX I haven't met many parents to hang out with. I've met with the PortlandDads group a couple of times. They're nice guys but with two girls still taking naps it was tough to meet often. I'm not so interested in finding a dad group though, I'm more interested in finding a parenting group, moms and dads together. I usually get along great with women and moms have so much to offer. Why limit your group only to men?

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