Potty Training: When is the time to start?
We all go through it sometime. But, the question is: when? An urbanMama recently emailed about her daughter showing interest in the potty, wondering whether this was the right time and age to start:
My daughter, Uma, is showing more and more interest in the bathroom and specifically the toilet--naturally I am racked with panic and doubt about my ability to potty train her. What should I get to start off with, one of those mini kid toilets or a seat with a step stool so she can use the regular toilet. What age is really the time to start? She is only 21 months, but she like to rip off the toilet paper and flush the toilet for us, so that is supposed to be a sign?
Then, once we've decided that the time to start potty training has come, how did you go about doing it?
I always took interest in the potty as a sign that the child is ready for potty-training.
Then, we just started by sitting on the potty at certain times--say after breakfast, before snack, before bed, etc. (With my two that are potty-trained, we skipped the child's potty and just used a step-stool and a toilet seat insert. I figured I wanted them to eventually use the regular toilet, so I might as well get them used to it from the beginning. Also, children's potties kinda skeeve me out.)
We also spent a lot of time naked in our backyard. Like my mom says, "They need access to the equipment." I think it helped, in that the kids were able to associate the feeling of having to pee with the visual of actually peeing.
Buy a lot of underwear or training pants. I let my kids pick them out--they got excited by all the choices. For us, the key here was cloth, and the uncomfortable feeling of being wet in cloth undies. We did use disposable pull-ups for outings, or sitting on grandma's new couch, but being wet in disposable pull-ups never bothered the kids. Nobody likes to be uncomfortable--it provides a good impetus for going in the toilet.
Don't expect much from your early potty-trainer, except for accidents. Celebrate every small victory. Set-backs are normal. Potty-training will probably take longer than you hope, but have heart: everyone figures it out...eventually!
Posted by: egl | May 31, 2009 at 09:49 AM
Our son is also showing interest in the potty. He's only 18 months so we're taking it pretty easy. We have a little potty he can sit on and we let him watch us go to the bathroom and if he feels like it we let him pull up a seat on his toilet. We also do a lot of talking about why he wears diapers and where pee and poop come out of and that once he goes to the bathroom on the toilet he won't wear diapers anymore. I figure we'll just let him set the pace becuase when he's ready he'll do it.
Posted by: beth | May 31, 2009 at 12:20 PM
I started potty-training our daughter when she was 20 months (she's now 24 mo). It only took her three to four weeks to get the hang of it. I started her off with "naked time", so she could actually relate the feeling of urinating with the visual of it happening. In that early stage, I would take her into the bathroom and sit her on her potty (even though she had already gone...on the floor, or outside)...and talk to her about going pee-pee in her potty the next time.
(Poop mishaps only happened twice for us. There is more physical control over BMs, than urination, so we could make it to the potty in time)
Positive reinforcement works really well. My daughter received lots of praise, and an M&M when she used the potty correctly. That made it even more exciting for her. The M&M reward-program only lasted a couple of months, but I continue to tell her how proud I am of her when she uses the potty.
Patience is definetely key. Even a potty trained kid will have an accident here and there. They get busy playing, and ignore the signals their body is giving.
**And even if you use the potty seat that goes on the big tiolet, buy a potty chair that you can take with you in the car! It's no fun trying to quickly track down a (clean) bathroom when you're potty-training and away from home.
:)
Posted by: Kim | May 31, 2009 at 02:01 PM
I second Kim's suggestion about the potty seat in the car! This was really helpful for us with both kids (now 6 and 3 and both long since potty-trained) - and it gave us confidence to try outings sans Pull-ups a lot sooner than we otherwise might have.
We also used a reward system, namely, jelly beans in a gumball machine. After using the potty and washing hands, the kids were always excited to turn the little knob and get their jelly bean. And, contrary to my initial concerns, it was relatively easy to phase this out once the potty-training was completed. We also used lots of praise, of course, and also lots of talk about the process of using the potty, including reading various children's books on the topic.
I think if your child is showing signs of readiness, summer can be an ideal time to start potty-training because being able to spend lots of naked time outdoors can really help speed the process along, as previous posters mentioned.
My daughter mastered #2 before #1, but my son was the opposite. I really think it just depends on the kid. Also, realize that nighttime training might take much longer. Both of my kids were finished with potty training by about 30 months old. However, my daughter needed Pull-ups at nap/night long after she was day trained - about 2 years longer, actually. My son basically did day and night training all at once, on his own.
Good luck and don't worry - your daughter will lead the way!
Posted by: D | May 31, 2009 at 09:54 PM
Potty Training book saved my Sanity!!!!!!
________________________________________
Parenting Magazine (March ‘09 issue) & Men’s Health Magazine (Sept. issue) recommends Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day: Proven Secrets of the Potty Pro by Teri Crane. My husband picked us up a copy after reading the article. IT REALLY WORKS!!
Everyone is talking about throwing a "potty party" to potty train a child. I was so desperate; I was willing to do anything. Her book outlines 10 themed parties. What kid doesn't love to play and pretend? All my mommy friends have successfully potty trained their kids with her book too.
Honestly, when I first learned of this book, I thought NO WAY! Maybe this would work on a little girl, but NOT a BOSSY, 2-1/2 year old BOY. NO WAY! Guess what? It REALLY WORKED!!! Teri Crane SAVED MY SANITY!!! Her book was easy to read, funny and extremely helpful. I can't thank Teri enough. I would HIGHLY recommend this book to EVERY parent. It will save you much grief and frustration. Potty training shouldn't be difficult, we as parents make it difficult because we don't know what to do. Teri teaches you. Buy the book, it's the best money you will ever spend
Most amazingly, I had some questions, so I called the author, and she CALLED ME BACK!!
p.s. Teri Crane is Nickelodeon's Potty Pro this month. Check her out...
www.parentsconnect.com
Posted by: Gwyneth Paltrow | June 01, 2009 at 06:55 AM
That is awesome! Thanks so much for the advice!
Posted by: Aisha | June 01, 2009 at 08:24 AM
We bought a potty seat for my daughter when she started showing interest in using the toilet, maybe around 20 mo. We let her use it when she wanted, when we went to the bathroom, etc. No pressure. She figured out the logistics fairly quickly and would sometimes use the potty successfully but sometimes not opt to use it (I didn't force her). Finally, when she was almost 2.5 yrs, I had 2 wks off work and decided the time had come! I knew that she knew what to do/how it worked, so I just explained that she was now a big girl and wouldn't wear diapers anymore, and would pee/poop in the potty all the time. From that day on she only used diaper for sleeping and had only a couple of accidents.
Posted by: Emily | June 01, 2009 at 09:16 AM
We started at 18 months with no pressure, just lots of encouragement, and things progressed pretty rapidly! We used M&Ms and jellybeans as incentives/rewards for using the potty, and it really worked! Our son was fully trained by 2 1/2, even at night! Once they understand about going in the potty, I recommend a weekend or two at home with lots of naked time and/or underwear only (expect during sleep) for the final leap into full potty training. It worked for us!
Posted by: Briana | June 01, 2009 at 10:23 AM
We let our daughter lead the way in this...no "training" necessary for her. We got lots of potty books, two types of pottys (the portable one and the one that sits on top of the regular toilet). Her favorite book was the Mister Rogers Potty book, and we followed his lead and style. (ie: "when you're ready to use the potty, you will") We also watched Elmo's "Accidents happen" on you tube. One day she decided to use the potty and she was done with diapers! (daytime diapers)
Posted by: ruby tuesday | June 01, 2009 at 10:44 AM
We had the same experience as ruby tuesday... no training, she just announced one day that she was ready to be all done with diapers. We had purchased a small potty when our daughter first showed interest, at about two years old. We also had underwear in the drawer too, for whenever she was ready. As time went on she became more and more interested in the underwear and kept asking when she'd be able to wear it. We told her that she could wear underwear after she could show us that she knew how to use the potty. A few months before her third birthday, she figured it was time. We had one pee accident, and that was it. We used pullups at night for a few weeks until we realized that she was keeping those dry, too.
Posted by: allison | June 01, 2009 at 12:44 PM
I've done this twice now, and I'm in the "child led" camp, with a little adult timing on the whole thing. Both of my boys started sitting on the little potty and going before bath, whenever they wanted, that kind of thing, maybe once a day or so. With my first, he did this for about a year, but only when it was his idea. If I suggested it, I got a flat out "NO!" I figured that was a pretty clear sign that he wasn't ready for me to push it! Finally, during the summer (for both this was in the 22 months range) I just spent a week having them be naked at home and that did the trick. The oldest took longer to get the pooping in the toilet concept and would poop in his pants everyday at nap after asking for a diaper. I didn't care much about it and he eventually stopped. And, as someone already mentioned, nighttime took longer for him. With my second, once he had it during the day, he had it at night as well. That's actually what prompted the eldest to stop using a diaper at night!
Posted by: mom22 | June 01, 2009 at 01:08 PM
I love the summer and a kid sized potty and those cute little naked buns running around:). My daughter was a little before her second birthday. She was interested, so I provided a place (little potty) and the ability ( naked!) to do it. I also went the m&m route as my girl will do about anything for chocolate... She did day and night at the same time. Wetake the little potty with us camping and on road trips now and she still uses it (3 in september).
My son was well past 3 before he could bring himself to poop in the potty. We threw cheerios in the toilet and had him aim for them. What boy doesn't love a game? :)
Posted by: Sunny | June 01, 2009 at 08:53 PM
Our three year old had showed on-again-off-again interest in using his little potty for probably a year and a half. And he never announced he was ready and didn't respond to treats, etc.
I think this proves that every kid is different and you need to listen their needs. We recently just went full-time into underwear pretty much overnight - no fuss, no rewards - just a discussion. And he wouldn't respond well to a change in routine, so we just moved to underwear and kept up with our routines. We've had a few accidents (including a big puddle on the floor of the library) but overall it's working.
Posted by: Scotti | June 02, 2009 at 04:18 PM
First of all, give yourself a break, it may not even be as hard as you are anticipating! My daughter is 22 months and has been using the potty without accident for about 3 weeks. She completely led the way, all we did was supply the potty and allowed for plenty of naked time (thank goodness for hardwoods). We did not even need to use rewards this time around (as with my son, who was 3 when potty trained-jelly beans worked for him), just lots of cheering and fanfare! Now she even insists on taking the insert and dumping/flushing her own pee. I never would have imagined we'd be here at this age, but they really do it when they are ready.
All in all it has been only a month or so, we bring extra undies wherever we go. Consider heading about and buying a few packages, and maybe as others have suggested a tiny portable potty for parks or to keep in the car.
Best of luck, she'll most likey potty train herself with a little help from you by summer's end! Think of the money you'll save by never buying diapers again...is that incentive enough to just give it a try?
Posted by: pdx mama | June 03, 2009 at 07:36 AM
I started my son at 3 weeks & not he's 22 mos & just about potty trained. So I would say it's never too early, don't believ ethe diaper companies!
Posted by: mae | June 03, 2009 at 08:38 PM
Hello Mama-
Being out of diapers is so exciting, until your child needs to go to the bathroom NOW!!!
I am a Certified Professional Nanny and a Parent Coach and have helped potty train my fair share of children. Girls do learn to potty train younger than boys, but at 21 months I think your daughter is beginning to become interested, but not necessary be ready. Here are a few things to look for in a Potty Training Ready Toddler:
1) A realization when she is peeing in her diaper
2) An interest in going to the bathroom
3) Regularly spaced diaper changes
4) A need for privacy when peeing/pooping in her diaper
5) A need to be clean right after a dirty diaper
Once you see these signs, go on a special shopping trip for “Big Girl Panties” and a cushy toilet seat that fits directly on the real toilet, a special stool, special hand soap, and maybe a special towel. As for potty chairs, personally, I cannot stand the potty training chairs, which have a bucket. They, in my opinion, are messy and gross to clean. I’d rather teach my child to potty in a toilet, but again that’s personal preference.
When your child is ready for potty training, you start by setting a clock for half hour increments, and tell your child to go potty when they hear the timer go off, this will teach them to stop playing for potty breaks. Reward these behaviors with stickers. Have a poster by the potty where they can put their stickers and show them off.
Remember, accidents are a part of the potty training process and as long as you keep the “oops” attitude, the training will go faster. Erik Erikson’s 2nd Stage of Development, Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt correlates well with potty training, because your toddler is trying to accomplish this huge task, but isn’t sure they can. With your encouragement, they will quickly.
I hope this helps. Feel free to contact me with additional questions.
Sincerely,
Rebecca
Everything Baby, LLC
www.everything babyllc.com
Posted by: Rebecca Magby | June 03, 2009 at 08:43 PM