Buying Less This Holiday??

Many of us have been talking about cutting back lately.  Either because of the economic situation, or because of the environmental impacts of consumption, or because we're concerned about what might be in the things we buy. 

As the holidays approach I find myself thinking about establishing some new traditions.  I come from a family that went all out for Christmas. We got (literally) piles of gifts, aided by my dad's small yearly bonus.  In my parents' defense, they wrapped everything (underwear, socks, soap, you name it), and we didn't get much else during the rest of the year, but Christmas was definitely a big deal.  My husband, on the other hand, comes from more of a one-good-gift and a stocking household, something he hopes to continue.  So I guess you could say our ideas of Christmas morning are...different.

I don't want my kids' Christmas memories to be like mine mostly because it sends the wrong message about consumerism and materialism to open a big pile of presents, one that contradicts what we try to teach the rest of the year.  And, not to sound too cliche, but the holidays should be more about giving than getting piles of crap, right?

Ideas?  As I look for some ideas on scaling back I'm wondering: what do you do? Something from Mom/Dad?  Something from Santa?  Both?  Neither?  Any special gift-giving traditions in your house?

Or are you vowing to spend less this year? Shop local?  Shop "green"? Go plastic-free?  Buy Handmade only?  Make your own gifts?

(Photo Credit: Andrew Eick, Flickr Creative Commons)

Comments

[Sheryl]

Christmas at our house has been an orgy of consumerism in the past--my fault, single parent guilt, crazy grandparents, yada yada. And frankly, I love to give. That craziness on my part extended past what I buy for my kid, and I was buying for close and extended family, friends, little gifts for coworkers, etc.

This year, my child is 11. She says she still believes in Santa (I think she might be playing me, but I'll go along with it). I don't know if I'll spend any less on her (although I should), but I will spend more thoughtfully this year.

I read this somewhere, and I like it: she'll get 1)something she wants (a DVD); 2)something she needs (a new desk/bookcase); and 3)a book. Santa will bring a want/need combo: a new swimsuit and cap(need) that I never would have chosen (want) and stocking stuffers.

For my mom (my dad passed away 18 months ago, and I feel this want/need to spoil her)--she said no tangibles and I like to get her things she typically won't spend her own money on, but loves to do. So she is getting 2 tickets to 3 Blazer games (she is happy in the $10 seats, so I bought the next price level up) and 3 restaurant gift cards. My intention is that she and my daughter (her only grandchild) will have 3 nights "out on the town" together for three months running.

I'll also buy for my grandfather--treats that he enjoys, extending his newspaper subscription, and a couple of rounds of golf.

With the extended family, we've decided no gifts--we're just meeting up for a nice mid-week dinner before the holiday-crazies set in. My circle of friends has decided no gifts as well. I'm also cutting off the coworker gift-thing and will bake and bring treats into the office. I don't know about teacher gifts--does that still happen in middle school?

My best friend and I decided no gifts, and that we'd treat ourselves to the Barefoot Sage instead.

I am feeling a lot less stress about the way this holiday season is shaping up. So that's certainly a huge benefit!

[Sheryl]

Oh, and I forgot to add--Not budging from the gift list are:

~~A coat drive donation
~~Food bank donation
~~Toys for Tots

[meg]

I am a teacher and i'm astounded that parents buy gifts for the teacher. This is actually technically against the state ethics code (I think if it's worth less than $5 it's ok). I have gotten a handful of cookies, letters and small ($5) starbucks cards. I think if you are cutting back, these are the areas to do it. A nice homemade jam, cookies or card is plenty. I am a high school teacher and each kid has 7 teachers! I can't imagine expecting gifts as a teacher.

We are cutting back on my husband's side of the family - no gifts except for the kids. I hope this doesn't make people spoil the kids though. We will do some nice things together and we will bring family pictures to share. We will probably give the aunts uncles and cousins holiday pictures.

Meg

[Leah]

My husband and I quit buying gifts for each other years ago in lieu of adopting a family at the holidays which we will do again this year. It's so much more gratifying, and the families we've supported in the past have asked for more items from the "need" category than anything remotely frivolous so it's just that much more evident to us that this is the right thing for us to do as a family. Our kids will each get one present from us and one from Santa, and I will be sending a small gift to each of our nephews and niece. I will attend a gift exchange with girlfriends and I do also plan to give to our preschool teacher and her aide as a token of our appreciation. Aside from that, everything else will be homemade or baked and brought to friends and neighbors as we see them in the coming weeks.

Yes, we're spending less, but it seems like each year we say that and still end up having a very special holiday so I don't think the material things will be missed at all.

[philomom]

We are not an xmas family. We do the winter solstice and throw a big party. No gifts. My good friends who do celebrate xmas have converted in the past few years to one of two options:

Three Gifts
This is symbolic of the Magi from the xmas story itself. Good enough for baby Jesus, good enough all around.

Or
New England Rhyme
Something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read

Have a great holiday urbanmoms!

[Monica in Cali]

I also had the pile of gifts and I distinctly remember not appreciating it and wondering if there was more... So bad.

With the economy in turmoil, mortgage crisis, credit crisis, our societies general materialism, I am sort of sickened by the excess at this point. Really... and I like stuff, I like clothes and shopping. It just all feels like enough already with all the crap.

With that said, here's what we are doing...

Grandparents buy one thing for each kid. I help them choose, which they like.

We bought each of them 3 presents that we know they will love. We will have some fun stocking stuffers and there you go.

We will select an item together for toys for tots.

Kids in extended family get one thing, usually it's under $20.. a book or something of that nature.

My husband and I buy one thing for each other, usually under $20. I bought him a bartender's guide to mixing drinks, he'll love it.

Money is tight which is a determinant in our choices, but we really, really want to convey a more meaningful Christmas message to the kids which to me means love, family, thinking of others and the birth of Jesus.

[MamaJoy]

We have been slowly decreasing the number of 'things' we buy each Christmas in lieu of giving more to charities. This year, I'm a stay at home mama and we have less money to spend on the holidays than usual. That said, we are comfortable and it is clear that others are really struggling in the community and globally. It seems wrong to spend a ton of money on things that we don't really need. I want to give every bit I can to the Oregon Food Bank, Sisters of the Road, and Mercy Corps. We will give donations in the names of family members with the exception of the kids who get good/non scary toys, clothes and books. A few other small things here and there, mostly photo calendars of my daughter for extended family. If I can summon the energy, I'll give some cookies as gifts. That is about it for presents. My whole family has agreed to travel to spend time together over New Years. That is our gift to one another. My daughter is the only kid on my side and will be getting gifts no doubt.

I would never wish these tough economy on families who are hurting. At the same time, I feel that it is a good reminder to us all of what is really important. I hope this is the beginning of less commercialized holiday season going forward. For my part, I used to run around like a crazy person trying to find the right gifts and always spending too much. Living far away from family, I'd often spend as much on postage as for the gifts. I've been amazed at how much more I enjoy the holidays when I give gifts that I want to give rather than meeting perceived obligations.

Happy Holidays!!

[lovelychriss]

I was at Target buying our daughter her 1 year birthday present. I seen distressed and overwhelmed people all around me. How sad I thought that all these people feel like they have to get presents for other people. If you would have seen the pain in their eyes you would even except the gift.
We didn't do Christmas last year we were still post-pardum. This year I started early and did baskets and got a few little trinkets each person would like and stuck a couple tea light candles and a photo in it.
My husband and I always put a limit on Presents for each other. Our daughter is to little to know so we are just getting her two presents. One from us and one from St. Nick.
St. Nick is a real person and if you feel Christmas has become commercialized in your house think about reading up on him. It maybe that stories of his life would be good for you children. They were good for me.

[jen]

were making gifts this year. family, friends, and the sweety and i are all making presents this year. we usually say were going to make some and then give up for lack of ideas. BUT
since we planned ahead this year and practically signed a contract in blood we have a plethora of great homemade gifts. We cant wait to see the looks on their faces! Plus we know where the gifts came from, whats in them & their production, etc, AND we wont be breaking the bank! Ho Ho Ho!!

[ped]

We always get new pj's for the kids, it is something they need anyway. We also buy them an ornament that signifies something big from that year. Then when we decorate our tree we all have a great time remembering years past. They get excited about each one as well.

What to get a teacher? A thoughtful note is the most meaningful. I have kept every note of appreciation that I have gotten from parents and students alike.

[jen]

My husband and I also stopped exchanging gifts when our son was born. This year we did a big yard project so that pretty much took care of birthdays, Christmas, etc.
We have totally scaled back our giving this year and did the name exchange thing with siblings & nephews/nieces. Gifts to in-laws, etc will be experiences vs. clutter. Things like tickets to a play/music, gift certificates to a new restaurant, etc. We're also buying local--craft shows, Saturday market, etsy.com, etc. No big box stores for us :) Best wishes for a happy holiday season, everyone!

[rae]

we're having our first truly homemade christmas. all of the gifts are made by us which means that we're only giving a few to extended family (because i've literally been working all year on the projects). my girlies will get knit arm warmers and felt food for their play kitchen.

we have extended family that goes completely overboard with gifts and it just feels overwhelming and not at all thought out (we're in a VERY small house and we try to live as 'green' as possible. we spend all year trying to avoid over-consuming).

our girls really don't have high expectations for massive quantities of gifts... yet. i feel like our window is small and i want to keep their expectations for presents to a minimum. i'd rather them anticipate seeing family and spending time together which is what they want the most right now.

there's a religious video that has a great point, even if you aren't religious. it basically gives all the financial facts surrounding americans and christmas and then goes on to say that we could easily solve the world's water crisis if we didn't spend on unnecessary gifts every year. it's worth a watch whether you celebrate christmas for religious reasons or not... it's really impactful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVqqj1v-ZBU

[leslie]

We're buying only locally made gifts and supporting local businesses...not just this year, but for the last several... and are encouraging the grandparents to do the same (in their communities). or we've requested omsi or zoo memberships for the family/kids.

Many of the smaller shops are struggling in the face of massive discounts at chain stores and the crappy economy (limited small business lending). Even if you're down to one gift and have a limited budget, consider stopping in to the local boutique or toy store. You may meet a neighbor, and you'll definitely walk out feeling like you've contributed to your local community.

Some of our faves in north portland...
grammy & nonnas
lilytoad
art & sole
atomic daylight
st johns booksellers
queens mab
linnton feed & seed

[Vivian]

This will be the second year that we have opted for a less consumerism-obsessed Christmas. We watched the documentary "What Would Jesus Buy?" which was hilarious, but also thought-provoking. Our church also took part in a program called The Advent Conspiracy, which again prompted us to consider giving to the less fortunate in place of piling up junk under the tree. This year, we are doing home-made gift exchange and are considering one special toy for our 3 year old. Also, if you are looking for some ideas on what to make and how to "rethink" Christmas, I blogged about it last week and left some links here -- http://www.mamaneedjava.com/2008/11/17/thinking-about-christmas-rethink-advent-conspiracy/

[Chris]

We've been doing minimal/local/handmade holidays for a while. I make small toys or games for my kids, nieces and nephews. My husband and I make food gifts for the adults in our family, our neighbors and friends.

Unfortunately, I cannot get my mom on board at all! She buys utterly useless made-in-China/Disney crap for my kids, despite numerous conversations, emails, wish lists, etc. It drives me a bit crazy. This will be the first time in four years that she won't be here for Christmas, and I am hoping that she'll be less inspired to get a lot of gifts if she can't see the kids open them. We'll see.

[Zinemama]

All the adults are picking names from a hat. Each person will thus get/give one gift this year. We never get our kids stuff for Hanukkah except gelt, since the grandparents, aunts and uncles send enough for all eight nights, anyway.

[latierra]

I came from a "pile of crap under the tree" upbringing. My husband's family does not celebrate Christmas. This year we put a Christmas tree and lights, and talk about Santa. Our child will get a stocking stuffer and one gift under the tree from Santa. My husband and I might leave something under the tree for each other if we remember. For extended family, instead of exchanging gifts we are giving to www.kiva.org.

[tony]

for those who celebrate Christmas and want to simplify, Hundred Dollar Holiday by Bill McKibben is a great inspiration and resource. If you've ever reader McKibben, you know he's a fantastic writer anyway - in this book, he tells about how his family/church adopted a $100 limit on ALL of their holiday spending. It's really short, too - good for those of us who don't have a ton of time...

[AJ McCreary]

Im amazed by the consumer driven holiday spending....Black Friday. Are people for real, I just don't understand it. Growing up my family always did Christmas big and I HATED it! I was an odd child, yes Im aware but the amount of stuff drove me nuts. I never felt like I could enjoy anything! Part of that was my Dad never had that and wanted to give us everything he didn't but it was overkill. I have started to do the opposite with my son and the results are very enjoyable. He gets one nice gift from Santaand I pick out some fun new books from me. He will get a few simple stocking stuffers: cryons, stickers,a match box car, and thats about it. And we will bake goods for all our loved ones rather than buying them stuff, amoung our other holiday traditions. Its refreshing to read other families having similar low key holidays focased on tradtion and not stuff! Happy Holidays

[Stacy]

Link to online version of Portland Family Gift Guide. All local/regional, much handcrafted:

http://www.portlandfamily.com/portland-family-2008-gift-guide.html

[HB]

I am going to buy some small gifts and probably some charity gift cards from
https://www.tisbest.org/TisBestCharityGiftCard.htm
or
http://www.networkforgood.org/goodcard/?source=CN&cmpgn=GC
or
http://www.justgive.org/give-now/gift-cards/index.jsp

[olivia]

Both my husband's family and my family are very gift-centric. To a great extent, I think it is cultural. Our parents grew up with very few gifts. When they received or gave gifts, they were very simple. To them, one of the splendors of America was its abundance. Our parents now feel like gifts are an essential component of the holidays. For us, the piles of gifts does not represent necessarily message materalism. Rather, it represents how far our families have come from days of very impoverished circumstances, both in the US and in our parents' homeland.

We feel challenged to balance this emphasis on or glorification of consumerism/capitalism, which is almost like a recongition of where we came from, with our inclinations to simplify and appreciate fewer items. Every year, I feel that we take small steps toward more handmade gifts, smaller, more thoughtful items.

My husband's family does a secret santa exchange every year with a $200 limit. Due to lay-offs and pay cuts in our family this year, I have suggested a much, much lower spending guideline, but the suggestion is met by some resistance.

For the kids, we will give them one item from Santa, one item from us as parents, and a stocking full of fun dollar-store stationary supplies like post-its or markers.

[Geeqgurl]

Last year we went way overboard with buying things for the kids, with the end result being two overstimulated, ungrateful kids who threw a fit when there were no more presents to be opened. This year, we decided to take a different approach. We are going to do a "Twelve Days of Christmas" thing where they kids get one present each day leading up to Christmas, with a "big" present (this year, scooters) on Christmas day. The rest of the presents will be pretty inexpensive and some of them needed clothes, etc. We hope this will actually make Christmastime more fun for them, since they will have a whole day to play with their new toys before the next present gets opened. It also gives us a reason to gather as a family each evening, and we will use the time to talk about the true meaning of Christmas.