Tour de Poop: Bloopers of the potty learning kind
So it was entirely my fault that she had no underpants on. We're potty learning (which I keep forgetting while out of the house), and my daughter had pooped in them at our previous stop (the co-op). Having no others with me (oops), she was commando. Silly me to go on to another errand, sans panties. Good thing we were in a kids clothing store when IT happened.
I've had a lot of unexpected, odd, just plain funny moments as a parent, as I'm sure you have. But in my entire 5 and 1/2 years at this, tonight took the cake. I walked up to a sales clerk with a fresh poop in my hand, scooped off the store's hard wood floors moments before. Somewhat horrified, but also chuckling, I asked for a papertowel. Like that was gonna do it! Ha! Thankfully, the people were amazingly helpful and not one iota critical (thanks Baby Gap, Lloyd Center). The sales guy even told me it wasn't the first time - in his own words, "I've been to this rodeo before." And rodeo it was. Before we were outta there (and I naturally lost my cell phone), she'd pooped again and peed on the floor, then walked around a bit to create some nice footprints. Poor girl. Poor me. Poor store!
So on this first Monday morning of fall, let's make each other laugh with some of the other great potty learning moments in modern parenting history. Until now I had thought my son pooping on people's grass median strips en route home from the MAX station was the absolute worst (we learned to carry newspaper bags with us, like he was a dog). So do tell. Where did it happen to you? Were you prepared? I still feel like a need to wash my hands ...again.
OMG!! I am laughing so hard (sorry!) I can't even think of a good story to share. Makes me a little thankful for my children's tendancy towards constipation when they were potty training!
Posted by: andrea m. | September 21, 2008 at 10:23 PM
I second the thanks for the laugh. For us it was a great way to start the week - puts things into perspective.
Posted by: Sarah C | September 22, 2008 at 06:47 AM
Awesome story!
My worst pooping story was when my son was 3 months old - he had a HUGE blowout at a restaurant, down his pants, up his back into his hair. It was so bad, I had to strip off all of his clothes and give him a "bath" in the restroom sink. All the while, he was SCREAMING his head off and the bathroom was so full, there was line leading out into the restaurant so everyone could hear my screaming child. Then I had to dry him off with paper towels and try to get him dressed. I was covered in poop and sopping wet by the end of the ordeal and needless to say, we never ate at that place again.
Posted by: KT | September 22, 2008 at 08:55 AM
I am so glad I am not the only one to deface Lloyd Center with my child's bowel movement.
My son and I were at the Nordstroms in Lloyd Center (as well) the other day and I was trying on bathing suits when he squeezed under my dressing room door and into the next one. Suddenly I heard "oops" and then a waterfall onto the carpet. He had just gone potty in there toilet successfully just 10 minutes earlier but apparently he had a LOT more coming. I was so embarrassed I bought what I was going to try on as some form of compensation.
They were super great though. The young woman who had been helping me never stopped smiling "Oh don't worry about it we have cleaners." She even offered to help me clean up my son. Luckily I was prepared for such an even and had extra stuff.
Posted by: Amber | September 22, 2008 at 09:52 AM
oh yes, i've "been to that rodeo"! just a few months ago we were at the local blockbuster video store and all of a sudden i smelled it. i looked down and the poop had fallen out of my son's pant leg! thanks a lot, training pants :( seconds later i heard what sounded like a waterfall and a rush of pee quickly followed. onto the carpet. i happened to have a diaper and a change of clothes in my bag so i stripped him down, changed his clothes and used the diaper to blot up the mess.
i was so mortified that i hightailed it out of there without saying a word!
Posted by: jen | September 22, 2008 at 11:03 AM
I'm laughing out loud, and so glad I'm not the only one too! My son and I were at the Indoor Play Gym at Peninsula Park last year when he pooped in his training pants. He came and told me so we hustled to the bathroom to change his clothes...What I didnt realize though, was that little poop pellets had fallen out of the training pants (skinny legs!) and onto the gym floor on our way out.... Luckily only one kid rode over one in her kiddie car before a nice grandma noticed and alerted the staff there.
Imagine my horror, when I walked back into the gym with my son to see this lady in gloves up to her elbows cleaning up my son's poop from the gym floor! I was so embarrassed and felt like I was the one who should be cleaning it up, but she wouldnt let me--assured me that she was trained to do it, it's happened before, yadda, yadda, yadda...
Posted by: Leah | September 22, 2008 at 11:38 AM
Washington Square. Son is commando. There is one “just in case” pull-up in my purse. After some shopping son says, “I need to poop - I want a pull up”. Ok, let’s put it on. While climbing around the play area son has sudden look of alarm. Zip to the family bathrooms. Poop has escaped the pull-up and is running down his legs and pants. Almost touching his newly purchased shoes. This causes much distress. I suddenly remember he has not pooped in two days. I have four wipes - not baby wipes, but those hand sanitizer wipes – for two days worth of very runny poop. Clean him with the four wipes and lots of toilet paper. Throw the pull-up on the regular garbage. Sorry next family. What to do with the poopy pants? There is a plastic bag in the fire truck cart thing. Which is outside. Prop open door with purse. Keep kid in voice contact while getting the bag. There are four families waiting. New shoes are unharmed, but son is not wearing pants. Can a 3 ½ year old be in the mall without pants? If he rode in the fire truck cart thing with my purse over his lap? Then hustle to the car? Where we might have extra pants, but might not? Remember we bought pants. Go back to fire truck to get the pants. Families are still waiting. Put on pants. Wash up. Drama over. Son wants to play more. Mama wonders where you can get a beer at the mall.
Posted by: courtney | September 22, 2008 at 01:29 PM
A beer at the mall!!! Why didn't I think of that!!!!
Posted by: LTF | September 22, 2008 at 01:47 PM
The one time I forgot an extra outfit and had no wipes my son had a blow-out in the car at Babies R Us. I was waiting in line to buy diapers when my husband came rushing in with babe in arms. And poop all over the pair of them. I hustled in to the bathroom where he (the son, not the DH) proceeded to squirm and squeal and rub poop all over me, the counter, the mirror, etc. While I was cleaning up the toxic waste, three very pregnant ladies came in separately to use the facilities. I could see each of them thinking "Is this what I signed up for?!?" Oh the horror of being the person to break it to them that yes indeedy, this is *exactly* what you can expect (along with the cuddles, kisses, and cuteness.)
Posted by: Allison | September 22, 2008 at 02:44 PM
Thank you so much for all the great stories! I don't have one to equal those, but it just makes me feel better with all our potty-training woes to hear these stories. I'll laugh for a good while now!
Posted by: Kate | September 22, 2008 at 03:25 PM
We do EC, and sometimes let the baby discretely take a pee in a the bushes at the park. He normally does his poops at home in the toilet every morning, so we don't worry about them for the rest of the day. But recently my husband was letting our 10 month old take a little pee in the trees at Mt. Tabor park and he surprised him by taking a MONUMENTAL CRAP instead. Almost hit dad's shoes. I guess we should carry baggies, too.
Posted by: Camellia | September 22, 2008 at 06:02 PM
Thanks for the laugh..my eyes are tearing up!
I am SO sorry you had to join the "mall-poopers club". I am a card carrying member!
Cheers to you!
Posted by: Jen | September 22, 2008 at 10:09 PM
Once while driving home from a weekend away, my 3 year-old son insisted that he had to pee RIGHT THEN! He couldn't wait for a restaurant, gas station, etc. So my husband takes him by a big tree along the side of the road, and teaches him how to pee standing up (with Daddy kneeling behind him on the ground, reaching around to aim the hose). As they come back to the car with big, proud grins on both their faces, I just HAVE to ask "Hey - how did his shirt get all wet?" Turns out Daddy's aim is not so good! He was pointing too high, and squirted the inside of my son's shirt.
Posted by: Heidi | September 22, 2008 at 11:12 PM
AAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK! I read this last night and just said "PHEW, that's never happened to me!" And then it did - TODAY - right in the middle of the LIBRARY!!!! My 3-year-old son had run out of clean underwear, so I just put a pair of pants on him so we could do a quick run over to the library (with 5, 2, and 1-year-old siblings in tow). Imagine my surprise, er, SHOCK. I just about fainted. Thank goodness for that large pile of scratch paper at the computer station. We managed to recover with no one the wiser. I've never seen such a huge POOP in my life! I think it will take me days to recover from this one. :) :) :)
Posted by: KE | September 23, 2008 at 01:49 AM
when my son was 6 mo old my husband and i went to tour a house for sale with our real estate agent. baby was attached to hubby in the bjorn and just as we walk up the brand new gleaming white concrete walkway, my son poops the runniest, massive-est, mustard yellow poop imaginable. it was everywhere: up his back, in his hair, down my husband's pant legs... and beginning to drip on the new walkway! i had nothing since this house was 5 blocks or so away, we just walked, sans diaper bag. we ended up finding 3 or 4 small napkins in the agent's glove compartment so cleaned up what we could and walked home, covered in poop. thank GOD it didn't happen inside the house! the yellow stains on the porch wore off. eventually.
Posted by: melissa s. | September 23, 2008 at 07:48 AM
So funny! We haven't had any public displays...yet.
But, last month my 22 month old crawled into bed with us in the morning, as she usually does. We were all snuggled up when it hit me...the smell of uncontained poo. I'd only been asleep for 5 hours, so I pried one eyelid open...And there IT was! Poo everywhere. On the quilts, the sheets, the rugs, and especially on her!
After washing the walls, the floor, the bedding and my baby, there was no way I could go back to sleep. So I went in search of the original site of the mess, but I couldn't find IT.
A couple hours later I went to my desk to work, and there IT was!! And IT was smeared on every.single.thing. Ever try to get poop out of a keyboard?
But wait, there's more! After lunch, I went to wash the dishes. When I opened the linen drawer to get a towel, they were all covered in poo!
After making The 'mess' on my desk, she tried (bless her heart) to clean it up with ALL the towels in the linen drawer! And then (like a good girl) she put them back where she found them!
Is it too late to just go back to diapers?
Posted by: lea | September 24, 2008 at 01:56 AM
Not an accident but a cute potty moment. The first time my son sat on the potty he looked at me and said, "mommy, it not working" and pushed on his privates. The first time he went, he looked up with the biggest smile on his face and said, "Daddy! It working, It working!"
Posted by: Melissa MM | September 25, 2008 at 02:22 PM