Tales from the Potty: The Naked Approach?
Now, back to our regular programming and one of our favorite topics - potty training. Here's one for you. What's a mama to do about the poo when it doesn't quite make it to the toilet? Have you used the naked approach to potty with success and have advice for keeping it off the furniture? One mama writes:
My son is just beginning to show some interest in the potty and we have had a few coincidental pees/poops on the potty (playing around while mama sits on the potty, and actually happened to go, etc). Of course I don't want to pressure him and I realize this "interest" could go on for several more months before any progress ever really takes place. But if he truly has an interest I want to leave that option open for him to explore if he wants. Several people have given us the advice to just take the diaper off for a weekend or more and let him really become aware of when he is going. Nothing like an immersion program (of sorts) to really learn the "language/culture". So here's my question: As all other mama's out there of a 19 month old I am no stranger to poop. I don't mind it so much. I can't say that I particularly want to clean it off my couch or bed on a regular basis though. We do have hard wood floors so that helps, but what do other mama's and papa's have to say about what happens when you're hanging out sans diaper and you get a poo on the furniture? Does it just happen once or twice and then they get it?
We certainly spend time naked in the house and have had a few poo's slide down his leg to the floor. I have noticed though that he seems to get freaked out, and subsequently stop pooping, if you pick him up and hustle to the potty. Too much pressure. That's the last thing I want. Its still kinda summer time, so I know that's another option to hang out outside a lot, but we just don't spend all day outside. And lately its been so hot, that its better inside than out, even with out A/C.
If I had known it existed at the time he was born I would have been very interested in Diaper Free training instead. But now here I am and all "Diaper-Free" literature out there has info starting from birth. But it sort of seems like that's what this weekend+ adventure would be in a way. In any case I would be interested to here what parents/veterans of potty training from all philosophies have to say on the subject. Suck it up and deal w/ the occasional poop on the couch or...?
Yeah! I'm happy to be talking about poop with the urbanMamas again! I have some opinions about Palin but nothing too profound or that hasn't sort of been expressed already...
When we potty trained with our older son, I went to the store and bought 5 or 6 packages of those Gerber training pants. They soak up a little extra pee, and keep the poop contained, but the kid definitely still knows what's going on down there. I still cleaned up lots of puddles off the floor, but thankfully no piles of poop! He wore those while we were home, and while they were available and clean, otherwise he wore a diaper. Going off to preschool really sealed the deal on the potty training--after just a week or two he had it down.
Life is stressful enough, put some underpants on him and keep the poop contained! Good luck! :)
Posted by: Leah | September 04, 2008 at 09:55 PM
I have potty trained two kids now and not one thing was the same the second time. With our first, we did cold turkey diapers to panties and she got it after a week or two, then decided diapers were so much more convenient. With the second we did naked outside, and pullups the rest of the time and then one day - with no warning it clicked and there was no going back. I would never be brave enough to go naked inside. I don't like to pick up poo. The most obvious statement and best advice I ever got about potty training was - don;t worry about it - you don't see any 6 year olds in diapers do you? As nice as it is to be done with diapers, it is also nice to let go of the pressure and let the kids do it at their own pace without soiling the furniture.
Posted by: Kate | September 04, 2008 at 10:50 PM
Truman, who's now almost 3.5, decided one day to potty train himself and that was the best way to potty train ever! that said, we regularly have poop accidents even though i feel we're solidly on the "trained" side of the equation. but almost never on the furniture. kids tend to go poop while squatting on the floor (or outside on the dirt somewhere, like yesterday as we were about to get on the bike). i've cleaned up many an errant poo but never found one on the furniture... you might want to think more about your floors. if you have some sort of hard surface, go for it.
Posted by: sarah gilbert | September 04, 2008 at 11:08 PM
My daughter initiated her own potty training. She almost always poos within fifteen minutes of getting out of bed in the morning. She started at around 18 months by pulling off her diaper as soon as she poo'd and yelling, " Owie, my butt!!"
So there were a few mishaps on the rugs and quilts. Since I couldn't rub her nose in it and throw her in the back yard -- I would scoop it up and put it in her potty or in the toilet. Then I'd show it to her. It took about three months for her to get it down, but now she goes in her potty chair first thing every morning. Then, she pushes her chair into whatever room I'm in, and proudly announces,"I poo potty!"
We have done the naked thing all summer, just because she is so consistent with her BMs.
By the way, I think my overreacting to one of her little accidents on the floor is what really made it click for her... oops, don't want to do that again!
Posted by: lea | September 04, 2008 at 11:15 PM
I'm with Kate. Two kids down and completely different experiences. I'm a huge fan of the naked training. My second had many more poo accidents before getting it, but they were along the lines of "I need to go poop" as he was going rather than without any warning. He just didn't make it there fast enough. We went through about a week of poo on the floor every. day. It was a drag. But then he got it. Without clothes, he could pee whenever he wanted and didn't need help. I think if your child is really ready for it, it doesn't take that long. Even though it feels like forever when you're cleaning up!
Posted by: mom22 | September 04, 2008 at 11:15 PM
ditto the cloth training pants, the gerber ones are so cheap, comfortable and useful -- my son wears them now just as underwear.
also -- we had a LOT of pantless time, and quite a bit of poop on the floor, but for some reason none on the couch or bed or other furniture... i think this was due both to the relative infrequency with which he occupied those spaces (as opposed to floor) and also my hyper-vigilance when he was playing on furniture because, yeah, i definitely did NOT want poop on the couch. but, if it helps you to breath easier, put an old sheet or blanket over it. also as to the stress, do you think he could find 'getting to the potty' to be a fun and rewarding challenge? i often had to remind myself to put a smile on a my face instead of some horrified rictus of dismay and be like, 'wow! you're pooping! we get to go to the the potty now! wheeeee!' which seemed to help him get it without the shame or guilt.
good luck, and goodbye dipes!
Posted by: vivian | September 04, 2008 at 11:16 PM
Also, we've given her a sticker or tattoo for each of her successes.
Posted by: lea | September 04, 2008 at 11:23 PM
I just want to mention that there's no one answer, no perfect solution for potty training that works the same for every child. I have 4 kids and they all went about it differently. So did we, of course, but as for the issue of #2's in the living room...only 2 of ours did that. One of them it was totally an accident and they were sorry about it. The other one...it almost seemed like a preferred alternative to the potty, no matter what potty. It was just strange and frustrating for a time and now it's over, so without doing extensive research I'm just gonna have to chalk it up to rolling with the parenting punches! I know that's not very helpful, but at least be encouraged that "this too shall pass" (ha! no pun intended!)--and follow your instincts with each child. You're doing a good job! Potty training can be hard :)
Posted by: wendy | September 04, 2008 at 11:41 PM
"A horrified rictus of dismay." That is hilarious and brings back not-too-distant memories.
I had some angst around that time when my children were transitioning from diaper to underwear but not quite ready to debut underpants publicly. A tip from my aunt, who raised 4 children and fostered many more was to put the cloth training pants/underpants under the diaper when going out to keep that inimitable underpants feeling but guard against accidents. Worked for us, especially with the sainted Thomas, et al printed all over the pants.
Posted by: Stacy | September 05, 2008 at 07:14 AM
My oldest we potty-trained naked, but outside. Pretty much that whole summer he was nude (and I must say, 4 years later, he's still the first kid to take off his clothes...). However, he "got" the poop part down first--most of our accidents were of the pee variety.
My second is in the process of potty-training now. He figured out the pee thing after a few days walking around the house with (what my mom called), "unlimited access to his equipment."
We're still working on the poop, albeit in a clothing-on type of way. That being said, he will almost always go to a certain corner in his room when he has to poo, so he knows he has to go, he just hasn't made the leap to the potty.
As far as your couch: Maybe just layers of towels (white, maybe, so you can bleach them if necessary?).
As far as your floors: Watch where you step. :)
Posted by: KMat | September 05, 2008 at 07:44 AM
We have been working on this for months. I am not feeling pressured to move too fast with my son. He spends lots of time naked at home and has a potty on the ground and will climb up onto the toilet on his own. Learned that one from a friend, face them toward the toilet and they won't feel like they might fall in! I think Gus started around 18 months and we have had some pee accidents but only two poo ones. Now he is telling me he needs to poop if the diaper is on. Not sure when we will dive into the diaper free/ clothes on world though. Sounds like a lot more laundry to me.
Posted by: plain jane | September 05, 2008 at 08:43 AM
In our experience it was easiest to wait til the last possible moment to get our daughter out of diapers. When our daughter showed an interest in the potty at around 17 months we bought a small potty for her to 'practice' on. After about a week or so she lost all interest. My husband is very poop-averse and doesn't do well at all with potty accidents, so we decided not to push it and to just wait it out in diapers. She ended up potty training herself when she was around 2 1/2 years old, literally overnight. She just announced one day that she was ready for big kid underwear, had one pee accident in a 24 hour period, and has been good to go from that point on. Good luck in however you choose to help your son learn!
Posted by: allison | September 05, 2008 at 09:38 AM
we use the waterproof bed covers on our couch (i buy whatever is the cheapest- twin size works well for us) i keep extras in a bin nearby for quick changes. we also have a few potties around the house (garage, laundry room, etc. whatever works for your home). the kids have all been put in undies during the transition, due to having dogs that will chase a naked butt around the house. I look forward to the day that we no longer have potties around the house and no more diapers. :)
Posted by: Murphy | September 05, 2008 at 10:30 AM
We also used the waterproof bed covers on the couch. Worked really well!
Posted by: Molomatic | September 05, 2008 at 10:50 AM
So without going in to potty training methods, here's my advice for if you get pee or poop on furniture, mattresses or rugs. We use Nature's Miracle cleanser. It's sold at pet stores for dealing with stains and odors from pet accidents, but it works great on kid accidents, too.
Posted by: Jan | September 05, 2008 at 12:25 PM
Rather than going naked I just put them in cotton underpants and shorts/pants. It keeps poop contained (mostly) and soaks up some pee. It seems to have worked for my 2 year old and it really worked for a 3 year old daycare boy much to my surprise and the surprise of his parents (he was super stubborn and generally has to be forced to try anything new).
As for pee on furniture....we have a thick cover on the couch that matters and the couch that doesn't matter is easily washable (yes, it's a pain to get the cushions back in, but it's so nice to have a clean couch). The beds have plastic covers on them (under $10 at Freddy's and necessary for my allergies anyway). I look forward to my 2 year old finally getting to 100% so I can use my washer a little less! But I'm noticing that some kids don't make it to accident-free til much later.
Posted by: capella | September 06, 2008 at 09:01 AM
I am so glad this discussion is happening. I am SO frustrated with my 3-year-old daughter. Up until this point she has done everything either right on time or early. I feel like she will be throwing a PullUp in the backseat when she goes for her driver's test at the DMV! She will pee in the potty with some encouragement, however, she absolutely refuses to poop or even to try to poo in the potty. She puts up so much resistance which is totally unlike her. She underwent two surgeries, awake, and never cried once - she is an exceptionally laid back kid for everything but the poop issue. I am extremely frustrated even though I try to remind myself that it is within the realm of normal to train at three years old. I've tried taking her to potty every 30 minutes, letting her go naked all day, putting panties under the PullUp, bribes, etc. but nothing works.
Are there any other suggestions? encouragements? lights I can put at the end of my tunnel?
Posted by: Jennifer Samsom | September 06, 2008 at 11:01 PM
Seems like with my son, when I am trying really hard to encourage him to do something, however nicely, he knows it and resists. As soon as I back off, he senses it and wonders why. I can see him wait for me to mention ___whatever the current battle_ on cue. In my frustration, IF (big if)I remember to do this, it lightens the mood enough to take the pressure off, and all of a sudden he's a sweet heart again.
Try not mentioning it for a week or two. See what happens. Before you start, make sure she knows the potty is still there and ready to welcome her poo when ever she likes, :) but then dont say anymore for a while.
I dunno. These kids are a mystery to me too. Good luck.
Posted by: anon | September 07, 2008 at 01:18 AM