The Unexpected: Now We're Having Three Kids
An "oops" can definitely become one the best things that's happened to us, right? But what if in your all your careful planning you realize that you will soon be a family of 5 rather than 4? A freaked-out mama needs your advice. And please, please remember the rules of engagement of being respectful, and careful not to pass judgment. This mama writes and wants to know what it's like having three kids:
So, my husband and I spent the weekend realizing we are pregnant with our third...a definite oops. I hope you all had much more relaxing weekends! I was the one hesitant to pursue permanent methods of birth control and just last week (no kidding) decided I was getting an IUD right after the kids start school. Right now, our heads are spinning with all kinds of thoughts...like, how could we be so stupid as to let this happen? Isn't this pretty environmentally irresponsible of us (we've been entertaining the idea of an electric car, but it's looking much more like a minivan for crying out loud!!)? Basically, we are so happy with our two and things are seeming much more manageable these days than they have for a long time (our kids are 7 and 3). Basics like keeping the house clean and biggies like taking trips (all our family lives on the east coast) and going back to work seemed feasible, finally. I haven't worked for pay since we moved here 8 years ago (2 months before our son was born) so I was really ready for some intellectual stimulation and professional (not to mention financial) gratification. Not that working is impossible with three kids, but I haven't even done it yet with one kid, much less a newborn, and how hard (and expensive) must it be to find really good care for three? I'm not even sure I can take care of three yet!
I keep coming back to the thing I've heard countless times...three is so much harder than two! Three is such a huge adjustment! You're always outnumbered...you have to switch from man-to-man defense to zone defense (OK, this is the only sports metaphor I've ever used in my life). And from different people lately, we've each gotten this bit of advice: If you have another, you can't just have one more, you've got to keep it even by having two more; three is just too hard because someone always feels left out. By the way, we are both disregarding that thing about having four...no way. But all the stuff we've heard about the difficult adjustment to three is making me even more nervous. My husband has mentioned, "You know, you don't have to go through with this...we could make an appointment..." but I think I'm likely to regret that in the future.
So, I guess I'm looking for your experience about having a third, or about unintended pregnancies...or whatever ya got that's helpful! I don't know exactly what I'm looking for, but other people's stories often help!