Safety when buckling in the babe
Emily had an interesting question for the rest of the urbanMamas:
I feel really vulnerable when I am bending over, half in the car and half out, trying to get my little one strapped in his car seat. I'm paranoid someone is going to attack me or try to steal something. Especially now that my son constantly tries to crawl out so the process of getting him in his car seat takes time and concentration. I get most nervous when I am in a parking structure and there are not a lot of other people around. Does anyone have suggestions for putting a kid in a car seat and maintaining personal safety?
You could always get in the car and lock the doors before you put him in his seat. I haven't even thought of that kind of danger.
Posted by: plain jane | October 19, 2007 at 09:23 AM
Oh man, I was JUST talking to my husband about this last night!
I'll try getting in with him. It'll be a huge PITA, but it would be a lot safer.
Posted by: sara | October 19, 2007 at 09:28 AM
Huh. I have two kids (now past that stage) and this fear never entered my mind for a minute. I've never even heard of someone being attacked in this situation.
Is there some particular reason that this is a concern?
Posted by: zinemama | October 19, 2007 at 10:04 AM
I have this same fear. Don't know why, but I think you have to be very aware these days and that is a vunerable time. I have my daughter's car seat in the middle so I get in with her and close the door behind me, then get her strapped in. I'd be interested in hearing other ideas, this is the best I've come up with.
Posted by: ERIN | October 19, 2007 at 10:24 AM
I felt exactly the same way - I was really struck with it when my first child was an infant.
For me it was just an intuitive sense that I was in a vulnerable position. I was used to always being able to observe my surroundings and present a non-vulnerable presence - you know, usual safety precautions.
However, according to a friend who teaches self-defense courses for women through the police department, it is a vulnerable situation for women to be in and attacks definitely do happen. Mainly carjackings.
She said that if your child is already strapped in and there is an assault/attack to throw the car keys far away from the car and get your child out - he probably wants the car, not the kid.
Posted by: anne | October 19, 2007 at 11:16 AM
This has crossed my mind as well because you are in such a vulnerable position. However, I doubt someone would really want to jack the Volvo wagon/mom-mobile. And, if someone stole my purse they'd be rewarded with a bounty of snacks, used tissues and not much of value.
We had a close call of a different type while getting our toddler out of his seat on the street side. A car drove so close to us that he grazed the door, which wasn't even fully open. It freaked my husband out. Also, make sure to look for bikes before opening yours or your child's door!
Posted by: SarahM | October 19, 2007 at 11:38 AM
I get my daughter to do as much of the process as possible now that she is 28 months. She can climb in and partially snap herself in. I normally kept the front doors locked and throw my bags/purse in the front seat before starting the process so there are not conspicuous things sticking out to tempt someone.
Posted by: debby | October 19, 2007 at 11:59 AM
I have the same fear, although it's compounded with losing track of my 4 yr old, whose seat is in the way of me sitting down to clip the baby in. The lock on the other side of my car is stuck so I can't get in on that side. I should probably get it fixed.
Why would someone have such a paranoia? This is why:
http://www.kgw.com/neighborhood/southwest/stories/kgw_041807_news_zoo_attack_trial.202ccf13.html
Posted by: shetha | October 19, 2007 at 12:04 PM
Like Anne mentioned above, the Portland Police Bureau offers free self-defense classes to women and girls over 13 years old through a program called WomenStrength. More information can be found here: http://www.portlandonline.com/police/index.cfm?c=35911
I'm an instructor there, too.
Typically, we're most safe when we're most aware of our surroundings and what's going on around us. When we're putting our children in their car seats through a side door, our attention is on them, our backs are turned to potential danger behind us, and that can add up to potentially greater risk. A great solution has already been offered - get in with your child if possible and then buckle them in.
The option of throwing your keys far away and taking your child out of the car is a good one if the attacker only wants your car. Of course there are other options as well, and there are certainly other reasons why an attacker would approach a woman from behind, as noted in the kgw link above.
My suggestions would be to be aware of your surroundings as much as possible; get in the car with your child if possible to strap him/her in; and if you're parked in an isolated parking structure it might be possible to ask security personnel (at the mall/airport/hospital/office building) to escort you to your car. I'll also give a huge plug for the WomenStrength program - it's free, you'll learn a ton more about identifying dangers and potential means of escape from those dangers, you'll learn great verbal defense skills, and you'll learn physical fighting skills as well.
Posted by: allison | October 19, 2007 at 01:01 PM
I am very cautious about this very scenario. I don't think it's being paranoid. Obviously I don't WANT anything to happen to me and the chances are good that they won't, but crime is not necessarilly rational...many people who would attack someone or try to steal from someone are on mind-altering substances and are not acting rationally. I try to be aware of my surroundings and agree with all the other safety tips mentioned above as well.
I would hop in the back seat and lock the doors when my child was rear-facing, secure the child, then get back in the front. Now that my child is forward facing (and in the middle) I can actually reach the carseat from the front. I help her in the back, close the door, get in the driver's seat and lock the doors (she climbs into her own seat) and then turn around and finish securing her by leaning into the back (it's pretty easy to do this in my car). This also keeps me from getting soaked in the rainy weather!
Posted by: Rasa | October 19, 2007 at 03:50 PM
I have felt this fear before, too. Mostly if I've been out shopping and am leaving the mall (or wherever)after dark. I usually will put my child in the back seat, jump into the front and lock the doors. And because we have a big SUV, it's really easy to manuever to the back seat and strap him in. I don't like to be just "out there" strapping him in at some isolated place. not to be an alarmist, but it can be dangerous. There are some psychos out there!
Posted by: Hali | October 19, 2007 at 06:28 PM
I too have never even had this thought, especially in Portland. But if you are going to have another child, you should certainly work this out....much more vulnerable is the mother with 2 or more children riding in car seat out and about...
Posted by: Rebecca | October 19, 2007 at 10:58 PM
Is your child forward facing or rear facing? My 16 month old is still rear facing, he will be until he meets the 33lbs rear facing limit of his Britax. I ask this because when putting my son into his seat which is in the middle of the back seat, I sit in the car next to the seat while I strap him in, I even close the door some times. Aside from extended rear facing and a center position being the safest way to travel I guess this is an unexpected safety benefit I never realized.
Posted by: Phoebe | October 27, 2007 at 08:56 AM