Uncovered
Hmm, this is an interesting one. Paige sent an email with a concern she is facing with the new man in her life and is looking for some other points of view. Sounds like a subject for both mamas and papas. Paige writes:
I've been in the dating scene for a little over a year and am finally
getting into the swing of it. However, last week I realized that a
guy that I have been dating on and off seems to have some artificial
hair. I'm not sure if it is a toupee (are those still around) or if they
are hair plugs. I know that hair loss can be devastating to a guy.
But, with everyone shaving their heads these days, I assumed that
the fake hair solution was a thing of the past. It is a major turn off
and I'm not sure if it is the fact he simply has synthetic hair on his
head or if it is because it might be indicative of some other issues
with honesty. My dilemma is that he has yet to say anything to
me about it. Is it something I could bring up or do I wait until he
is comfortable enough to tell me on his own?
What is a dating mama to do? Paige would love to get some feedback from other people on this sensitive issue.
What constitutes a turn-off is highly individual, and if fake hair is a deal-breaker, I can understand that.
However, perhaps I'm missing something, but I'm truly not seeing how this is an honesty issue on his part. Are we all essentially obligated to reveal these sorts of things to the folks we date? Would a woman with breast implants be equally expected to confide that the gals aren't real? I guess I don't see why this guy should think that his hair - fake or not - is anyone's business but his own.
He may well feel self-conscious, he may be waiting till he's truly comfortable in the relationship to talk about his hair issues. But I wouldn't assume that the fact that this point hasn't arrived indicates some fundamental dishonesty on his part. Unless he's given other reasons to make you suspicious about his character.
Posted by: Zinemama | September 07, 2007 at 03:38 PM
I'm going to side w/ Zinemama here. Hair is still a big deal for a lot of guys I know. The husband of a close friend has (tastefully done) hairplugs, and this doesn't detract at all from his ability to be a good partner and dad. If you don't like the way it looks, then that's your opinion & many wouldn't disagree w/ you, but I'm not sure it signals anything deeper than his own dissatisfaction (or at worst insecurity) about losing his hair.
Posted by: rockstar mama | September 07, 2007 at 03:47 PM
Your posting made me laugh! I remember one time back in the dating years when I showed up to a guys house for a dinner date, and as I was waiting at his front porch for him to answer the door, I saw that there was a hairclub kit or something along those lines that he must have dropped on the way inside. It was all I could think about from then on, and it kind of geeked me out. Bald would have been much better! Hey, maybe it's the same guy!
Posted by: kate | September 07, 2007 at 05:04 PM
I actually find receding hairlines sexy. I don't know why. All the men in my family had or have full heads of bushy hair, but my ex totally turned me on to receding hairlines. Of course, he was very self conscious about it. A previous boyfriend was into hair-growth shampoo because a friend with male pattern baldness made some malicious comment to him about his hair line moving back...it hadn't budged! Anyway, in my Match and Yahoo personals, I have actually stated that I think a little hair loss is sexy. But as much as I think that might please a man to hear, I am sure they are still painfully aware of every active folical on their heads at all times...society has always equated hair with verility, so who can blame them? It would certainly be like wrinkles or saggy breasts to us. But I do know what you mean about the "hiding something" piece. It's like men who grow full beards. It always seems like there is something hidden below. Children don't trust clowns because they sense it is not their true face (plus, they are just plain scary at times! Especially since Steven King's IT...) and many also don't like when people where masks. So I don't think it's unusually in the evolutionary sense to feel that someone who alters their appearance is hiding something. But just realize that this is not necessarily what it DOES mean! But a turn off is a turn off....go with your gut!
Posted by: debby | September 07, 2007 at 09:05 PM
Wow...Everyone is certainly entitled to their opinion...but..I am sorry, I find everyone's reaction to this just a bit cruel. Why is hair replacement such a turn off? Do you know the reason for the man's hair loss? Perhaps it is a medical condition, perhaps he is recovering from chemotherapy for cancer....If in fact it is a self confidence issue, then perhaps being dumped for some artificial hair is not going to help any.
In a somewhat similar example, my mothers new husband dyes his hair. I personally think he looks so sexy with grey hair...both my mother and I have told him so. But he simply is not ready for that. Makes him feel too old...But this does not mean we love him any less.
And just for the record, if I truly liked this guy, I would not care about the hair replacement. But, with time, if the relationship really bloomed, I might indicate that bald is sexy and encourage him to give it a try.
Posted by: Rebecca | September 08, 2007 at 01:49 AM
I think after a year it's fair to just out and ask him. But I wouldn't make too much of this one thing as a symbol of honesty. We all have little things we're vain about and/or would like no one to notice. So, what will you do if it IS fake?
Posted by: martin | September 16, 2007 at 08:14 AM
While you've probably heard of the expensive treatments likes Rogaine and Propecia, the latest hair loss remedy is so simple it's silly: Vitamin D. This basic nutrient is all the rage in baldness research, according to a new report in The Wall Street Journal.
Posted by: stop hair loss | December 28, 2012 at 03:09 AM