Let them eat cake and be cold!
"Give them choices you can live with and let them make those choices, so long as they doesn't pose danger to themselves or others." I believe I picked this up at a free series of Love & Logic workshops we once attended at our former school.
Well, this morning, I let them eat cake. I know, I know: bad mama! Cake for breakfast? But, hey, we had a big birthday party yesterday and I can't bear to have the cake go to waste (anyone want a piece of St. Cupcake 4-layer chocolate cake with buttercream frosting?). My husband kept saying, "You're letting them eat cake for breakfast?" Well, sure. "It's probably not as bad for them as a cinnamon roll from the bakery..." This cake probably has a little less sugar. So, I gave them the choice: oatmeal or cake. They chose cake. No one is surprised.
I also took out a stack of fleeces and jackets and vests for them to choose their method of warmth for the grey fall morning. Girl 1 chose a fleece sweatshirt and Girl 2 chose a cotton sweatshirt (on top of her sleeveless short sundress). I urged Girl 1 to also layer a fluffy vest and Girl 2 to also layer a jacket on top of their sweatshirts. They refused. I shivered a shiver for them each. Both sockless, they hopped on the Xtracycle and we rode down to school. A few minutes into the ride, I asked them, "Are you cold?" They each said, "Well, sort of." I said, "Do you think you should have worn thicker jackets or socks?" They said emphatically, "NO!"
Tomorrow will be the same negotiation, I think. We probably won't offer cake again, though. How do you handle choices, especially, the fight over jackets, socks, hats, or gloves? If my Girl 2 wants to wear sundresses with no tights or socks or shirts for the rest of the autumn and into winter, should I just say, "OK! It's your choice!"??