The Mamas Clothing Exchange Party: Be there!

Did ya see, did ya see?  Check out the October 2007 issue of Parents Magazine.  On page 130, you will find some of you urbanMamas featured in the "girls night out" section, as we swapped the night away at our last mamas clothing exchange party.  Thanks to everyone that emailed to let us know!

Without further ado, we cordially invite you to the next Naked Mamas Party on October 19 at 7PM at Vino Vixens.  We encourage mamas of all shapes and sizes to come; bring a pile of your formerly loved clothes and you'll be sure to walk away with a pile of fashions new-to-you just waiting to be loved.  Last time, no one left empty handed.  We still have a few piles from our last naked mamas party to add to the mix.

Leave your babes at home (Vino Vixens is a wine bar where no minors are allowed), there will lots of clothes to try on, wine to drink, food to nosh, and merriment to be had.  Please RSVP in the comments so we can be sure to have enough vino on hand!

Mamas Clothing Exchange Party
October 19, 2007, 7PM
2929 SE Powell Blvd., Portland. (503) 231-8466

More Chinook Book Swap Ideas?

Thank you to those of you who came out to swap with us yesterday morning.  One mama left with maybe four 2-for-1 coupons for Staccato Gelato, another left with needed coupons for Rodda Paint, and yet another left with a couple of extra coupons for the Alberta Co-op.

With just 2 months left until this year's Chinook Book Coupons expire (on November 2007), we encourage you to get out there and swap!  Or leave your extra coupons at strategic places like: the common areas at your workplace, bulletin boards at your schools, community posting areas at the supermarket/cafe/community center.  We know LilyToad has a basket of Chinook Book coupons to trade or take, and - after Saturday - now Milagros also has a hefty pile.

Have any other ideas of distributing those coupons that will otherwise go to waste?

Diaper pail for cloth diapers: Just how stinky IS it?

Do you cloth diaper? Camellia is about to launch into the World of Cloth and needs your advice.

Our first baby is due in a month and I'm trying to figure out the whole cloth diapering thing. We decided to go with a diaper service for the first few months anyway, and then to reevaluate whether to stick with the service, switch to all-in-ones and wash them ourselves, use g-diapers, or some sort of combination. I'm interested in hearing about what has worked best for other parents, but first and foremost, I'm wondering what to do for a diaper pail for the first few months, with the diaper service.

Tidee Didee advised us to begin with 70 diapers a week for a newborn, they provide the diaper bags, we provide the pail, and they pick up dirties once a week. They have a 54-quart white plastic pail we can buy from them for $17 or we can provide our own. Has anyone used this system? a 54-quart pail sounds huge--can you really just throw all your diapers in there for a whole week, or doesn't that get super stinky? Is there a different pail we should get instead?

Weekend Warriors: September 29-30

I just looked at the calendar, and - gosh - it's the END of SEPTMEBER.  Did you catch it?  Did you miss it?  Is it me or does time fly way too fast?  As usual, there is a ton going on this weekend, so be sure to check out the urbanMamas calendar for more ideas!

Chinook Book Coupon Swap.  Come to a special urbanMamas event at Milagros! The 2007 Chinook Book expires on November 30 but do you still have coupons to share, swap or need ideas on what last minute things to take advantage of in the Chinook Book?  Bring yourself and your 2007 Chinook Book to  trade, swap, or give-away (Karma is always good!) your coupons!  Saturday at 11AM til 1PM.

Master Recycler Round-up.  Reduce, Reuse, Recycle Your Plastics!  Bring those hard to recycle plastics, Master Recyclers will collect it, and Agri-Plas, a recycler located in Brooks, Oregon, will recycle the plastic into new products.  Master Recyclers sponsored five similar plastic roundup events and reused and recycled over 43 tons of plastic with the help of over 4,000 community residents who participated.  There are two locations this weekend, in N. Portland and SE Portland, and they run on Saturday from 9AM to 2PM.  Bring out those #1s, #7s, and all those other hard-to-recycle but recyclable items!

Family Bike Rides: Portland Downtown Loop and Sauvie Island loop.  The Portland Wheelmen Touring Club have been sponsoring family rides throught the summer and into the fall.  This one's a good one to highlight, it being right in the heart of the city.  Meet on Saturday at 9:30AM on the eastside of the Hawthorne Bridge near the Portland Fire District Building.  The Sunday ride is longer (10 miles or so) at meet at 10AM on Sunday at the Pumpkin Patch on Sauvie Island.

Baby Expo.  It's all things 'baby'.  Three days of entertainment, hundreds of unique products and services, lectures for the public, baby wearing fashion show, a film festival and lots of excitement!!  It's free and it runs all weekend at the Oregon Convention Center.

Just Between Friends.  Looking for a great bargain? Come shop the Just Between Friends Portland children’s and maternity consignment sale September 29 and 30 at Oaks Amusement Park! The best in gently used children’s and maternity clothing, toys, baby equipment, accessories and more. Saturday 10 AM – 7 PM and Sunday 10 AM – 2 PM. Many items half price on Sunday. Don’t miss it!

Montessori Centenary Celebration. It's a celebration at the Square! Come down to the Square to celebrate 100 years of Montessori education. 2007 celebrates the 100th Anniversary of Dr. Maria Montessori’s first classroom in Rome, Italy in 1907. There are over 30 Montessori Schools in the Portland Area, some of which opened their doors 30 to 45 years ago. This event will create an opportunity for the students, past and present, and their families to celebrate and raise public awareness about Montessori schools in the Portland area.  The event runs Sunday from 12N to 4PM.  A great opportunity to learn about Montesoori Schools in Portland.

Polish Festival.  The savory scent of delicious ethnic foods and swirling colors of Central European folk dancers will again entice crowds to the 14th annual Oregon Polish Festival on Sept. 29-30 on St. Stanislaus Church and the Polish Library Hall grounds at 3916 N. Interstate Ave.  Admission is free.

Acting out after sibling's birth: I miss the old sweet child!

I think every mama of more than one child has had some angst over the resulting complex relationships; and it's the rare eldest kid who doesn't act out at least a little in the weeks and months following the transition from "only child" to "sibling." Mama G is having some family growing pains of her own:

I am a mama to a four year old girl and a new baby girl (born Sept. 2nd). Since baby #2 has arrived, things have been pretty crazy. My 4 y/o is totally in love with her and wants to do everything to help with her, "new baby sister" but she is giving me and sometimes her father a really hard time. She has begun to talk back, cover her ears when I talk to her, yell at me, refuse to nap, refuse to eat, refuse to do most of anything I ask of her.  Yesterday she actually raised her hand to hit me while I was helping her to take a nap. 

I've tried spending special alone time with her, I've tried talking to her about her behavior, I've even tried taking away privileges and I feel like nothing is working. This behavior is totally atypical of her. I know it will pass (or at least that is what I keep telling myself) but I feel like I need to do more to help her through this period. Does anyone out there have any specific parenting books they have read and would recommend? Are there any parenting classes in Portland that you have attended and found worthwhile (we are in the NW but can also travel if it's worth the effort). Has anyone else been through a similar experience?  Help! I miss my daughter and know she is hurting... would love some urbanMama advice. Thanks!

What has helped you through these tough parenting straits? We've talked a bit about preparing for a new sibling, but it would be great to hear more advice.

Under pressure: How many extracurriculars do you have?

In August, we signed Everett up for two after-school activities: ballet, which he'd been doing for several months, and Do Jump, which I knew he'd love. So the first week of school he went to ballet on Saturday morning and acrobatics on Tuesday afternoon. The following weekend, we went to his grandma's house and read a new-to-us Berenstain Bears book called Too Much Pressure. Brother and Sister discover they're doing too many activities, and at the end they agree to only do two each. Brother picks computer club and soccer.

Simultaneously, we began having trouble with Everett's behavior, and called in some heavy -- and expensive -- hitters to help us figure out how to fix it. Ballet went out the window immediately, at least for the next few months: the balance of the year's substantial tuition just couldn't fit in the budget along with therapy. Then yesterday, we had a blow-up in Do Jump and I began to question the intelligence of doing that (we've already paid through November). I told Everett I was thinking about cutting it out of his schedule.

"That's ok," he said. "I want to do computer club!"

*Sigh* That wasn't exactly my point (but at least his reading comprehension is good!). Now I'm wondering, how many activities are right for children once they start preschool or kindergarten? Especially when you're having trouble acclimating? Is "zero" the right number for a five-year-old? What works for you -- and if your children are older, when did the time seem right?

The Bill Maher Saga Continues

The Bill Maher saga continues, and Bridget shares her thoughts with the rest of the urbanMamas:

So I watched Bill Maher the other night ONLY to see if he would apologize or say anything about the breastfeeding issue, and HE DID (speak about it, that is, not apologize)!  He actually made matters worse by opening his mouth (not unusual for him) but I have to say that I was pretty happy that he was feeling some pressure in the first place.

After Bill declares Janeane Garofalo “America’s leading feminist” ( a complete absurdity! ) he goes on to ask her about Sally Field’s statement at the Emmys and then makes his statement about breastfeeding.

The Sally Fields problem is very serious as well since she was censored by Fox for speaking out against war.  She said, “if mothers ran the world there would be no goddamn wars.”  Maher goes on to say that women leaders have been and can be just as violent as men and the panel all goes off on women as leaders, NOT MOTHERS!  Fields’ entire point was about mothers not just women.

Maher is absurd and truly ignorant.  He then makes his point perfectly clear about how he feels about breastfeeding in public (for everyone who thought he was just saying women should be more “modest”)

from the transcript:  Maher:  “Don’t you think there is a problem, that if you say anything that criticizes any woman… breastfeeding in public, which I’m against.  I got a lot of calls saying I’m sexist.  If I criticize a woman, it doesn’t mean I’m sexist anymore than if I criticize a black person means I’m racist.”

Janeane Garofalo:  “It’s childish, when people accuse you of that it shouldn’t even be indulged. I don’t consider you sexist for the breastfeeding, it’s for all the other issues that I consider you sexist.”

So, if you were interested in the petition and/or forwarded the email on to others, I’m afraid it got lost in cyberspace.  I’ve had many of you tell me that you signed the petition and forwarded it on, but it never made it back to me.  However, my petition was posted on mamas websites around the US and I have moms emailing in from all over!  So, if you wanted to get your name on the petition you can go to http://billmahermustapologize.blogspot.com or email billmahermustapologize@comcast.net

Do you Facebook?

First, there were the yahoo-groups, which eventually led to the creation of urbanMamas three or so years ago.  But, beyond the online groups, there are blogs and websites that convene oodles and oodles of people.  A while back, it seemed like all the cool kids were on Friendster.  Now, they're on MySpace.  Or Twitter?  Even Portland mamas and papas are on MeetUp.com.  It's online social network gone wild.

A former Portland mama just emailed me an invite to FaceBook, the latest and greatest of this genre of social webs.

I'm not sure I'm there yet.  Has anyone used Friendster, MySpace, Twitter, MeetUp, or FaceBook?  Have you met mamas or papas like you?  Or, reconnected with old friends (like my friend swears she did?)?  I think I can barely handle keeping up with favorite feeds we read and the yahoo groups....

Top Ten: What Should You Buy Organic

The Environmental Working Group is a great urbanMama resource.  In their recent newsletter, they provide some great tips on packing healthy lunches.  Yes, this is a favorite conversation of ours.  But even better, is their produce list and scoring of fruits and vegetables that contain the most pesticide.  For those that use a combination approach of buying organic and conventional, this list is essential in determining which fruits and vegetables you may want to absolutely purchase organic.  The top ten worst?

• Peaches
• Apples
• Sweet Bell Peppers
• Celery
• Nectarines
• Strawberries
• Cherries
• Lettuce
• Grapes - Imported
• Pears

Visit the Environmental Working Group site to get the full list and wallet guide of 43 fruits and veggies! Do you have a strategy when it comes to buying organics?  Are you all or nothing?  Or does cost consciousness come into play?

This Week on the urbanMamas Forums

It's been a while since we've done an update.  There have been massive updates, especially to Activistas, we want to make sure you're check out the forums!

Activistas
There is a lot going on in the Activistas world.  Be sure to click here to receive daily email updates or here for the Activistas RSS feed.

• Murder & Mayhem at 35,000 feet:  Why do airlines show Rated R or PG-13 films on flights, in plain sight of our little ones?
• How green are your legislators:  The Oregon League of Conservation Voters tallies green points for all state House & Senate members
• More pollution for NE Portland?  Boeing doubling the pollutants emitted from its aircraft painting facility in NE Portland?
• Donating breastmilk: how does it work?  Excess milk?  Have you donated some to a milk bank?  Dumped it?  Also, how to get breastmilk for your babes if you cannot produce it.
• Increase community involvement?  Portland's Office of Neighborhood Involvement wants our communities to increase numbers and diversity of people who are involved, increase the community impact of public policies, and strengthen community capacity.  Weigh in, if you can.
• Buy Nothing Month: I survived.  Lisa shares her experience of her buy-nothing-month, which is to become a quarterly event in their household.
• Pediatric Drug Legislation: Success!  National legislation is passed to improve the drug testing requirements for kids so that dosage is based on tests on kids not grown-ups.  The Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric Aids Foundation explicitly thanks urbanMamas and the Activistas for raising awareness around the issue.
• Not hired because we're mamas?  Hiring discrimination against mothers is still in effect in Pennsylvania.  Make your voices heard to support outlawing discrminiation against mamas!
• OEC Measure 49 Party, 09.25.2007.  Billboards can litter our roadsides, but Measure 49 can protect Oregon's farms, forests, and water supplies.
• Activistas Coffee Hour with the Nursing Mothers Council, 10.06.2007.  Come meet other Activistas over coffee at 9:30AM.  Then, at 10AM, learn more about Nursing Mothers Council, their efforts, and how to become a peer counselor for other nursing mamas.

urbanMamas Childcare Referral

• Looking for nanny/nanny share for infant
• Need nanny in NE / Alberta Arts
• Childcare Needed for 5-1/2 month old
• Childcare recommendations in Rock Creek?
• Interested in Nanny Share - NE / Alberta Arts
• Spanish camp/tutoring for kids - NE
• Occassional sitter needed - N
• Looking for nanny/nanny share in N/NE
• Now hiring infant caregiver in Milwaukie
• Need nanny 3 days per week (MWF) in SE
• Creative Minds Learning Center: Opening for Toddler
• Looking for babysitter in Lake Oswego
• Fabulous Nanny Available in SE
• Childcare ideas in Beaverton?
• Part time nanny needed in SE
• Rose Hip Preschool: Openings, North Portland

urbanMamas Exchange

• ISO Fuzzi Bunz
• For Sale: Full Size Copier
• Job Openings: Zenana Spa
• ISO carpet installer
• ISO Veterinarian
• gDiapers seeks help!

Preschool: Addressing the Negative Report Card

Nine months after starting preschool and two parent-teacher conferences later, we received the following report:  Carter’s having trantrums, he’s really disruptive, he refuses to participate in circle or help clean up.  It was hard for me to take.  I sat in disbelief.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  Carter is by no means an angel, but it did not quite align with our experiences outside of school.   We were full of hope that his preschool which came with much praise and accolades from other parents was the right fit.  We talked about discipline and strategies we used at home as well as schedules, factors that could induce such be behavior.  We discussed consistency at school and at home to improve his behavior.  I didn't walk away feeling like we came to a good understanding on both sides of strategies that we could both use to improve the situation. But we decided to keep him with his current teacher since my husband and I felt that Carter will have difficult relationships with others as a part of growing up and will have to learn to work through them. 

We continued to solicit feedback from his teachers and the reports varied by the day; some better than others.  By summer, it appeared perhaps that the worst of the behavioral issues seemed to smooth itself out until I received the dreaded email:

“… feeling a little concerned about some of Carters behaviour that has been persisting all year and are very aware that he will be moving on to a new class soon…A couple of examples are when we are all sitting down to snack/lunch Carter chooses to wander around the room and refuses to come to the table with everyone else.   Also requirements during 'Circle time' of sitting on the mat and at least trying to learn the games.  He will lie down on the floor or initiate play with other children. Clean up times he refuses to help and continues to play his game until, with the teachers gentle insistance it results in a loud screaming tantrum.

Let them eat cake and be cold!

"Give them choices you can live with and let them make those choices, so long as they doesn't pose danger to themselves or others."  I believe I picked this up at a free series of Love & Logic workshops we once attended at our former school.

Well, this morning, I let them eat cake.  I know, I know: bad mama!  Cake for breakfast?  But, hey, we had a big birthday party yesterday and I can't bear to have the cake go to waste (anyone want a piece of St. Cupcake 4-layer chocolate cake with buttercream frosting?).  My husband kept saying, "You're letting them eat cake for breakfast?"  Well, sure.  "It's probably not as bad for them as a cinnamon roll from the bakery..."  This cake probably has a little less sugar.  So, I gave them the choice: oatmeal or cake.  They chose cake.  No one is surprised.

I also took out a stack of fleeces and jackets and vests for them to choose their method of warmth for the grey fall morning.  Girl 1 chose a fleece sweatshirt and Girl 2  chose a cotton sweatshirt (on top of her sleeveless short sundress).  I urged Girl 1 to also layer a fluffy vest and Girl 2 to also layer a jacket on top of their sweatshirts.  They refused.  I shivered a shiver for them each.  Both sockless, they hopped on the Xtracycle and we rode down to school.  A few minutes into the ride, I asked them, "Are you cold?"  They each said, "Well, sort of."  I said, "Do you think you should have worn thicker jackets or socks?"  They said emphatically, "NO!"

Tomorrow will be the same negotiation, I think.  We probably won't offer cake again, though.  How do you handle choices, especially, the fight over jackets, socks, hats, or gloves?  If my Girl 2 wants to wear sundresses with no tights or socks or shirts for the rest of the autumn and into winter, should I just say, "OK!  It's your choice!"??   

Varicose Veins: What's A Mama To Do?

Debbie's experience pains in her legs from varicose veins.  Have you experienced this?

My varicose veins around my inner knee have suddenly swollen up, become all bruised, black and blue - and hurt like C R A Z Y. Every time I stand up after lying down or even sit down for any length of time, I almost cry in pain - but after a few painful steps, it becomes ok. I am seeing my OB/GYN end of this week. I called the Vascular specialists at St Vincents, they dont have appointments for months. Any one has had this before? Particularly, a lot of pain and swelling? What did you do?

Crib recall for Graco, Simplicity brands

Graco has always been the old faithful baby gear brand in my home, and I know we've owned any number of products marketed by the company. Today I'm happy, though, to note we don't currently own a Graco crib (in fact, we haven't owned a crib since our first son outgrew it). The latest and awfullest recall to hit the market covers nearly a million cribs sold by Graco and Simplicity (all manufactured by Simplicity), from 1998 to May 2007.

I wrote about this recall for 'work' today, and while I can't say I'm horrified, I can say that I'm so, so sad for the parents of the children who died in the cribs and it just hits me how easy it would have been to make the same mistake -- the children were suffocated because the drop side is easy to install upside down, leaving a gap into which a baby's head can fit.

With all these recalls, I wonder if the CPSC is being more careful; manufacturers are being more responsible; or it's just random. Is this world getting more dangerous for our kids instead of less dangerous? Or do we just have better and better information?

Trick or Treat: Limiting Candy Consumption

Halloween can be so much fun for kids, but dealing with the aftermath can be a headache.  Kecia wants to know how you handle the Halloween sugar overload?

I would love advice and suggestions regarding Halloween candy. My son is three years old and we love the idea of dressing up and trick-or-treating. I’m actually fine with my son having a piece of candy (or two). I don’t want a bucket full of candy sitting around our house for weeks. I don’t want him eating a piece (or two) of candy day after day. Last year, I explained that when Halloween is over his candy goes away. It worked well, but he was only 2 ½. What do you do? Is there actually a place that we can bring his candy (college campus, meals-on-wheels, etc.)? Please share your suggestions.

Is it the Season to Get Sick?

In the middle of the night the other night, my husband gave a start and gasped.  What was it?  Did we forget to close the front/garage door again?  Did he forget to finish something at work?  "What's wrong?" I asked him.  "Nothing.  My throat just really hurts," he said. 

The next day, I got a voice mail that said, "I think I'm coming down with something."  Over the past couple of days, I see my husband drinking glassfuls of water mixed with the Target-brand Airborne or EmergenC, trying to boost his immunity to ward off autumnal germs.  Over the past couple of days, the girls' noses have become drippier and their noses sound stuffier.  I hand them gummi vitamins (also the Target-brand) ever morning.  Not sure if it helps but .... Aw man!  Staying healthy is so important!

Have you and your families managed to stay in good health?  Or, has return of cold winds and school season brought runny noses, coughs, or maybe fevers?  Are there homeopathic remedies or naturopathic treatments you use?  Vitamins to prevent further sickness?  And, when they're sick, how do you make them feel better?

Weekend Warriors: September 21-23

Wow!  From the looks of the first few items on this week's Weekend Warriors, North Portland's a happenin' spot to be this weekend.  Have fun!  Of course, check out more events on the urbanMamas calendar.

International Peace Day.  The weekend starts with the International Day of Peace.  Head up to North Portland for a celebration: "YTribe will hold an event in St. Johns, including practicing 108 sun slutes to celebrate the arrival of fall; and a drum Circle. Afterwards, snacks will be provided by Proper Eats.  The Event will be from 5 to 8pm, and is family friendly. "  Friday, 5PM to 8PM.

Portland Pirate Festival.  It's the second annual!  Explore tall ships, celebrate buccaneer music, and thrill to cannon and sword fighting demonstrations at Portland's newest family festival, under the St. John's Bridge in historic Cathedral Park. This year's two-day adventure will feature even more music, dance, historical reenactments, and other performances. Fine grub & grog from some of the region's best restaurants too!  Check out the complete schedule on the website.  Tickets are $12 for adults, $6 for kids.  Saturday from 10AM to 10PM, Sunday from 10AM to 6PM.  Before you head to the Festival, be sure to head to LilyToad for pirate costume making (Sat and Sun 12N to 2PM).

Green Sprouts Organic Baby and Family Fest.  It's that time of year again!  Pack a picnic, meet other families, learn about services in our neighborhood, and enjoy tons of fun features for kids and the rest of the family!  Green Sprouts is a fun, festive and educational one-day event for the whole family that celebrates and promotes the nurturing of life through nature. From pregnancy to childhood, parents can learn about and explore eco-friendly, community-involved, natural, and healthy options to raising their families.  Enjoy Green Sprouts at Peninsula Park, Saturday from 10AM to 6PM.

Children's Book Fair: Do the Right thing and Read!  Get free books and enjoy entertainment and activities including book making, button making and art tables! Storytellers and personal readers make up the People Who Read Center. Our superheros Bookman and Bookwoman return to champion reading and fight illiteracy.   Saturday 11AM to 2PM, North Portland Library at 512 N Killingsworth.

Community Celebration: Oregon College of Art & Craft.  Head to the OCAC campus for a free, family-friendly community event to honor OCAC’s historic 100th anniversary.  The wooded campus will come alive with fun for all ages, including art and craft demonstrations, studio tours, hands-on craft activities for kids, an alumni art sale, FREE food + beverages, face painting, and many activity booths, (including Tessy & Tab!).  This event is our way of thanking the community for 100 years of generous and enthusiastic support.  Saturday 11AM to 4PM.

Nannies behind the wheel?

We have only once had a babysitter drive our girls.  Some mamas are wondering, however, how do you handle whether your kids are driven around by the babysitter or nanny?  Amy emails:

I need help! We are currently in a debate with our nanny over whether or not she should have a carseat in her car for our not-yet-walking child. Her driving record isn't great (a few fender benders in the last few years, some her fault, some not), and her eyesight isn't either (she's older). Our neighborhood has LOTS of stuff within walking distance - shops, cafes, groceries, library, banks, you name it. We are three blocks from a major busline that could take her directly to a pretty park in about 10 minutes, with no connections.

She, however, wants to be able to take our child on outings to places like the art museum or music classes, where Trimet would be more of a juggle, both time - and gear-wise. She feels it would be much easier to secure our child in the carseat, and go ... and be able to get home quickly if needed. She also wants to be able to run the occasional errand, since she doesn't get a break during the day. We like the idea of some special outings, but can't get past our nerves.

What have other families done about nannies driving the kids around? What about breaks for the nanny during the day?

Autism Connection to Thimerosal...Renewed Concern?

I know I've started many a post on urbanMamas with...."Did anyone see Oprah the other day?" But I'm asking again...did anyone see Jenny McCarthy and Holly Robinson Peete on Oprah this week discussing autism? Oprah read a new statement from the Centers for Disease Control:

"...We simply don't know what causes most cases of autism, but we're doing everything we can to find out. The vast majority of science to date does not support an association between thimerosal in vaccines and autism. But we are currently conducting additional studies to further determine what role, if any, thimerosal in vaccines may play in the development of autism. It is important to remember, vaccines protect and save lives. Vaccines protect infants, children and adults from the unnecessary harm and premature death caused by vaccine-preventable diseases."

It seems that in the past the stance from the CDC has been that there is absolutely no connection, but in this statement they seem to be saying they are pretty sure, but not definitely sure that there isn't a connection and they're doing more research now... I know I'm opening a can of worms here but it's got me thinking and I'd love to know if any other mamas are renewing their concerns over any connection between vaccinations (specifically for MMR) and autism?

Bringing Healthy Food to the Classrooms

Meg poses an interesting question and seeks some wisdom from urbanMamas:

I am a high school teacher and I teach a course called environmental issues.  As part of the on-going guiding question of “How do you impact the environment and how can this be measured?” I wanted to do a weekly bit on healthy eating; healthy for the planet and healthy for the student.  My idea was to get a local farm or grocery store to donate organic fruit that was all locally grown.  I approached my administration with this idea and was told that I could only serve prepackaged food in class…. In other words, soda, chips, pizza, doughnuts, candy are all a-ok, but not organic fruit.  What are your experiences with what is acceptable to serve in the public school classroom?  Are there any loopholes I could squeeze through?  I know I can’t cook anything, but I thought raw foods were ok.  What would be the best way to go about changing this policy in a time efficient manner?  Lastly, does anyone have any connections with Washington County organic farms just in case I get this off the ground?

Rain, rain ... come and play?

Portland forecast calls for grey skies and rain.  What's a mama to do?  Check out suggestions from last year: When it rains, where do you go?  Renee emails:

We just moved to SE Portland from California. We love it here, but I am intimidated by the upcoming rainy weather. What are some good rainy day afternoon activities I can do with my very active 14 month old boy. We have things lined up for most mornings, but the afternoons are wide open.

Share more rainy day suggestions for fun!

Come Swap with us!

Inspired by a recent post seeking a Chinook Book Coupon Swap, Milagros has graciously offered to host a Swaparoo for the urbanMamas.

Bring your extra Chinook Book coupons and trade away!  Meet some other uMamas & uPapas  & uKidlets while you're at it!  Coffee & tea provided by Milagros.  Coupons provided by you!

Chinook Book Coupon Swap
Saturday, September 29
11AM to 1PM
Milagros Boutique, 5433 NE 30th Avenue, Portland, OR 9721
503-493-4141

Scout Dilemma

The other day at the Kite Festival, I noticed that the local cub scouts were the ones selling snacks and the like.  My two younger brothers were cub scouts, and I felt like a den big sister or den second mother.  We hosted a few den meetings at our house, and I can still clearly recall the oath we would recent at the start of every meeting:  "On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country...."

This email comes from a mama who would love your insight:

My 7 year old son really wants to join Cub Scouts. We went to the initial orientation meeting, and even wrote a check for his membership, but I still can't shake that feeling that I just don't want to be a part of that particular organization. Though my husband was a scout for a short time, and my own brothers were scouts, we don't practice any religion and feel uncomfortable with the amount of "God-speak" involved in the scouts. We'd want to be a part of the den, but feel hypocritical pretending to lead a prayer. Though I was raised Catholic, I haven't wanted to be a part of organized religion since I was about twelve. I can't shake that paranoid feeling about sending my own son off to strangers that hold so many conservative beliefs! Isn't there an alternative scouting-type organization? A more liberal, more focused on camping and less soldier-like, less preachy alternative? Am I being uptight and ridiculous?

Bill Maher: I think I hate you

On September 8, 2007, nursing mamas in 105 locations in 38 states participated in a nurse-in, "after a breastfeeding mother was treated poorly by Applebee's on both local and corporate levels."  On September 14, 2007 Bill Maher, on "Real Time with Bill Maher", spent a good part of his opening comments elborating how he thought breastfeeding in public was narcisistic and inappropriate.  See the whole thing here (and forward to the 7:00min point).

He said, "Breastfeeding a baby is an intimate act, and I don’t want to watch strangers performing intimate acts…” He equates breastfeeding, a “natural” act, with masturbating, also an “intimate”, “natural” act.  Making it sound like breastfeeding is some fad, he speculates, “Next thing, mothers will want to give birth in the waterfall at the mall.”

If we mamas nurse in public and are not decent about it, we are “lazy to either plan ahead or cover up.”  To the mothers who nurse publicly, he says you are “fighting for the spotlight that you surely will get when you go 'Janet Jackson' on everyone."  And, finally, he winds down with “Only in America do women think they deserve a medal for having a kid," and he suggests that even dogs can have kids (so are we all dogs?)  He closes with “it’s about how petty and parochial our causes have become, how activism has become narcissism..... There is a place where breasts and food go together, it’s called ‘Hooters’”.

Cyberspace is teeming with anger with his comments, just google "bill maher breastfeeding" to find mamas and others around the country who are writing about it.  I try not to be hypersensitive when it comes to comedians trying to make a buck and tell a joke, but Bill Maher goes too far and is offensive, obscene, misogynistic, completely outta line.  Local mama Bridget is preparing a statement to send to HBO, and you can email her at billmahermustapologize@comcast.net to add your name to petition.  Are there other ways we can express our views? 

Where does your family stay?

urbanMamas and their families experience their fair share of guests visiting them in the Rose City.  But, where do they all stay?  Melissa emails:

I live in Sellwood/West Moreland area in a small old house that is filled to the brim with myself, hubby, stepsons, my 13 month old daughter, two dogs and an old cat. We don't have a guest room (the baby doesn't even have a room yet - she sleeps with us) and worse than that we only have one bathroom.

My parents are coming out to visit for a week in October. In the past they've done house swaps with people but it is starting to wear on them and they don't want to do it again. And the one serious drawback in my neighborhood is that there is no hotel, decent motel, or bed & breakfast.

So my question to the urbanMamas - where do you like to put up guests when you don't have the room? Can anyone recommend a decent place to stay that is close to Sellwood/West Moreland?

Durable clothes for little guys?

Now that Everett's starting kindergarten and needs lots of serviceable and (my preference) non-commercial playwear, I've been thinking about buying a few really nice things every pay period -- nothing fashion-forward, just t-shirts and polos and chinos and sweatpants that will last, and last, and last. After all: I have three boys and I'd like to avoid having to purchase these again and again.

I've had good luck with Hanna Andersson sweat pants and chinos, but I don't like many of their pants styles and their shirts haven't done well in my house (lots of unravelling hems and the like). I love American Apparel for myself but have found that the stretchy fabric that's so comfortable also tends to wear quickly. I'm tired of putting pants in my pile of those-needing-knee patches! Does anyone have any favorite kids' clothing makers, or stories of flimsy stuff I should avoid? Retailers with good sales preferred...

Do you have breastmilk to spare?

A mother in our community is looking for help from other mothers who are breastfeeding. Janet's little son August was born 6 months ago with missing genetic material, has had several surgeries and faces a host of developmental challenges. Please read Janet's email below, and help if you can:

I have run out of my frozen supply of breast milk for little August.  still pumping, but not producing enough for his overnight continuous feed of milk through his G-tube.   I am able to get enough for his feedings during the day though.  Anyone have a freezer full of milk, or know anyone producing copious amounts that would be willing to send some our way?  Please pass on my contact info to them. Thanks a bunch, Janet Funk 503-234-2693

Support Group for Mamas of Premies

The motherhood experience can be so different when you have mamas around you to support you as you go through your babes' development, stage after stage.  Thank you, Kristin, for passing on this important info on a forming group for mamas of premies:

I am a new mama to twins that arrived early, and I, along with another mama of preemies, am trying to organize a post-NICU support group for parents of preemies.  So far, we have a grand total of 3 mamas planning to attend our first get-together. We'd love to open this nascent group to other mamas who have been through the NICU experience (and its aftermath) and are looking for others who've been there. 

Our first gathering will be on Sept. 20th at 3:00 PM at the following location:

Patisserie Cafe Lili
8337 SE 17th St
Portland, OR 97201
Phone: (503) 233-8844

If anyone is interested in joining us, they should email minette.minette@gmail.com

Chinook Book 2007: Coupon Swap!

I see the new 2008 Chinook Book littered everywhere (markets and schools), but I am still working through the coupons in this year's book. Sara had a great idea:

I've got a bunch of extra coupons that I'd like to trade or give away, like things outside the Portland metro area, or activities for older kids.

Let's name a time and day that works, and we can organize a Chinook Book coupon swap, trade, and give-away!

Weekend Warriors: September 14-16

With this 60-degree weather outside, you'd think it was fall or something!  Brrrr.....  But just because the sun is hiding doesn't mean we need to stay inside!  There are tons of fairs & festivals this weekend, and check out lots more to do on the urbanMamas calendar.

El Grito: Celebrate Mexican Independence Day.  Celebrate the Mexican Independence Day at the Square with Mexican food, dancing, a beer garden and live music. This weekend Fernando Sanchez Ugarte, consul general of Mexico, will deliver the traditional Mexican revolutionary address known as "El Grito de Dolores" to the participants.  The celebration starts 5pm on Friday and runs through Sunday at 9pm.

Slabtown Festival.  A free community event to benefit Friendly House Community Center.  Beer garden, food & beverage booths, pitching cave, dunk tank, kids bounce house, puppet shows, face painting, cake walk, balloon twister, kids crafts, friendly house crossathon.  Live music all day!  Event runs 11AM to 8PM on Saturday, NW 23rd and Savier.

Under the Autumn Moon.  The festival, intended to coincide with the traditional mid-Autumn festival, is intended to celebrate the bounty of the summer harvest, among other things.  The heart of the festivities take place on our festival center streets on NW Davis and Flanders between the NW 3rd and 4th Avenues. Open air markets, multi-cultural music and dance, fireworks, a spectacular mid-Autumn parade, an international food area and craft activities among other things will highlight the history and culture of this area.  A full schedule/line-up is on the website; the Festival runs Saturday and Sunday all day, with a fireworks show on Saturday night.

Alberta Street Fair.  This year’s Street Fair will have five performance stages, with two children’s areas. Lions of Batucada have agreed to perform, and they promise to show up. Sam Adams will be leading our parade down Alberta Street, and the Art Car Club is traveling from all over the West Coast to display their art and participate in the parade.   The fair runs Saturday 11AM to 6PM, and the parade starts at 2:30PM.

Build It Green! 2007.  Now in its sixth year, the 2007 Build It Green! Tour of Homes features eighteen remodels and new homes, two high-rise residential condominiums and one cohousing development, showcasing a variety of ways homeowners are conserving energy and other natural resources while creating beautiful, unique and healthy homes.  Tour runs 11AM to 5PM, and info fair runs 4:30PM to 7PM.

Le Tour Des Plants.    Along the green theme vein, Le Tour Des Plants kicks of this weekend.  At Portland Nursery, enjoy free 15-minute landscape design consultations, cooking demonstrations, and a wine tasting and chocolate sampling on Saturday night (6-9PM at Division St Location). 

Seeking Specific Suggestions for classes/instructors

We previously discussed pros and cons on alternative methods childbirth preparation classes, like hypnobirthing and Birthing From Within.  Seeking specific recommendations, Debbie emails:

I am looking for specific recommendations for Childbirth classes/instructors - Bradley and Natural Child birth preferred.

NE Alberta Mamas Gathering

As a part of the discussion on "Seasons changing, What's a mama to do in the dark?", a few NE Alberta mamas are scheming to get together!  Sounds fun!!  Diane says:

ALBERTA MAMAS,
Lets just pick a first time get together at a cafe that works for everyone and during that time we could come up with something more regular? How about Tuesday the 18th, 6pm Vita cafe.

Hope y'all connect!

Seeking support for Sensory Integration/Processing Disorder

"Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) is a complex disorder of the brain that affects developing children and adults."  There have been suggestions on preschools for children with sensory integration disorder and there was previous discussion on finding a support group for parents and children with sensory integration disorder.  But, did a group ever form and gather?  Beren is seeking support and would like to get convene families:

I’m looking for a support/social group for Portland mamas with Preschool aged kids with sensory processing disorder that impedes their ability to attend or succeed in preschool or Pre-K. I’m feeling a little alone and would love to share stories, offer support, and cry together over administrators who just don’t get it. Are there any other stay-at-home moms or dads who meet up during the weekday?—Mom of 3 in NE Portland

Does "PVC Free" mean PVC Free?

PVC is (polyvinyl chloride) plastic, commonly referred to as vinyl.  "When produced or burned, PVC plastic releases dioxins, a group of the most potent synthetic chemicals ever tested, which can cause cancer and harm the immune and reproductive systems."  PVC is often used in conjuction with metals, including lead.  You can't really tell if there is PVC in lunch boxes, but there is guidance on how to test vinyl lunch boxes for lead (DIY kits and the like).

Maura passes on her experience in her search for the PVC free lunch box:

I thought this might be interesting to the urbanmama community.  I saw the piece about school lunches and the mention of the PVC-free butterfly lunch box.  I had been looking around for a PVC-free lunch box and tracked down the one mentioned made by Crocodile Creek at Grasshopper on Alberta. When wiping out the lunch box before we used it for our first day of school, I decided to take a look at the tag inside and to my surprise PVC was noted twice in the fabric content!!!  This after the cute tag on the front says  "100% FREE PVC!" I called Grasshoppers who called Crocodile Creek and they were told that the lunch boxes really are PVC free, but the wrong tags were put into some of the lunchboxes???  Grasshopper pulled all the lunchboxes and are sending them back to the manufacturer.  Grasshopper was awesome and gave us cash back and seemed genuinely concerned.  It's hard to know if these lunch boxes are what buyers thought.  I'm sure some of those parents would like to know.

Has anyone encountered purportedly PVC-Free lunchboxes whose labels read differently?  Crocodile Creek states "We have given special attention to make certain that the lunchboxes currently offered by Crocodile Creek do conform to the current U.S. & European Consumer Product Safety Standards as well as FDA recommendations. Our lunchboxes are lead safe, 100% Phthalate and PVC free."

When friends go bad, and other troubles of childhood

Everett came home from school yesterday wanting to quit kindergarten. In his folder, next to the little "SUPER!" sticker from Monday, was a note: "Everett had a really rough day today." The teacher wanted to talk with us about it, later. It seemed likely that she'd never dealt with a child as difficult as him.

It was almost 9 p.m. (after official bedtime) before I got Everett to explain to me exactly what had happened. The little boy who'd declared himself Everett's "buddy" on Monday had decided to bestow that honor on a different little boy. He'd gone on to change his mind several times that day. Everett, never great at dealing with emotional blows, had ended up in a full-on freak-out by the end of lunchtime, screaming and kicking and asking for everyone to leave him alone (exactly the thing he needed, I explained to his teacher today at drop-off: alone time to calm down).

This morning I scanned the room with narrowed eyes looking for the child who was torturing my baby. I found him, and saw immediately that he was a beautiful boy, tall, confident, and possessed with just the sort of power that will allow him to continue his emotional warfare well into adulthood. (I quake at the thought of girlfriends played against one another in college. Yes, I am that dramatic.) The "great idea" I'd given Everett the night before -- how 'bout all three of you be buddies together? -- was never communicated, despite Everett's hard work to get it across. ("I need to tell the two of you something!" he said three times, poking them gently in their chests to get their attention. "No!" C. kept saying happily while I ground my teeth in anger.)

I've done the obvious stuff: explaining to Everett that really good friends won't take away their friendship, and that he should try to spend time with other kids who obviously wanted to be his friend; reminding him about all the great friends who will always be his friend; telling him we love him. I can see that will be hard to negotiate in the face of C.'s charm. Geez, the Queen Bee stuff is starting already and he's only five (so much for that "boys are easier than girls" theory). Does anyone have any ideas? Or can you distract the teacher at recess so I can take C. behind the dumpsters and rough him up a bit? (Kidding! Kidding! Sort of...)

Is it back to normal?

The summer can feel a bit uncontrolled, and that can be a challenge for some of us who can really thrive on consistency.  With new camps each week or piece-meal daycare to cover days when I could not work from home, the schedule was harried and days were looooooong.

The last stretch of the summer and first weeks of September are a real blur for us.  From HTC to a week-long trip to see family back in New York, we launched ourselves right into the new school year, with just a few moments to spare.  No rest for the weary! 

Our two girls are now basically situated in their schools ans school routines, and I feel like I can come up for a bit of air. I have been able to take a sigh and deep breath in the past few days at 8:45am, or sometimes earlier, depending on how early we make it to each of their schools. 

Now that school has started and the jitters may be a little bit behind us, has your household settled into a new rhythm?  Does it feel more balanced or more "back to normal"?  Inquiring mamas want to know!

Leave the Kids at Home!

Life changes after kids, but we try to lead a life that is inclusive and one that exposes our little ones to different experiences.  When it comes to family-friendly activities,  Portland cannot be beat.  And even better?  You can barely go wrong with any of the events that's offered all summer long.  Or can you? 

Recently, we attended the Oregon Symphony Outdoor concert.  A much touted family-friendly event.  Even the announcers mentioned it twice during the program.  But then again, we were an island of little energetic boys in a sea of adults and people who could sit still and remain quite during the performance.  As soon as the program started, our little guys gushed with excitement.  It didn't help that Carter and his buddy Andrew fed off each others energy level.  Amidst the glares, really only from the couple in front of us, we tried to listen to the music and watch the dancers.  It was a bit hard at first to enjoy the music and picnicking with our families as we struggled to hush and calm down our 4 year olds every 10 seconds.  At some point, I realized that it wasn't our problem.  It was an outdoor concert, and that it was intended for all to enjoy.  To expect a couple of 4 year olds to sit in complete silence is terribly unrealistic.  Perhaps we should have tried to explain that to the man sitting in front of us.  I opted for quietly threatening under my breath that if he glared at us one more time, I would take a picture of him and post about it on urbanMamas.  Ha!  Don't you mess with an urbanMama, especially one with a camera.  As much as I wanted to do this, I rationalized it was petty.

Needless to say, I was beside myself when I happened upon this great photo in Shetha's collection of pictures of our outing.  And would you believe that she accidentally caught the man in "half glare"? Just curious how others deal with public scrutiny.  Would you have said something?  Have you felt the rift between families and non-families out in public?

Tessy & Tab: How did you know?

About a week before one of our first summer trips to the beach this year, some mail