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Tales of a pre-birth flake

30_weeks_pregnant_200 I'm due to give birth sometime between now and the end of July, but this baby is acting like "sooner" is way more fun than "later" -- I've already had threatened pre-term labor and it doesn't seem to be slowing much. No worries, baby's healthy, my blood pressure is right where it should be, I'm even eating right. But the problem is: I'm suddenly a monstrous flake.

During the second trimester, I could do everything, and often, I promised twice that much -- to my bosses, my husband, my friends, myself. Now, I'm suffering the consequences. It's too hard to get to a neighborhood meeting on time? So I just don't show. I miss the bus for my dentist's appointment? I have my husband call and tell them I'm having contractions (I am, it's just not as bad as it sounds). That email I promised the sales team I'd send two weeks ago? Still sitting in the "drafts" folder in my brain.

I'm hoping that, like with previous births, I'll have a rush of energy in the 24-some hours before I get admitted to the hospital, during which I'll do everything (or, as much as superhumanly possible) I've flaked on these past few weeks. But I want to know: is it ok to flake in the weeks before birth? Can anyone relate? Or am I just using my achy body and fear of sleepless nights-to-come as an excuse to give in to my inner weakness?


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Yes, it is okay to flake . . . or better yet, redelegate tasks and be upfront about not quite being up to par. Seriously, listen to your body.

Do NOT feel guilty.

In the last few months before my son was born my brain decided to go on vacation. One evening I was supposed to meet some friends for dinner & I showed up at a Thai Restaurant and realized that no one was there. I called my friend...I had gone to the wrong restaurant. When I corrected the problem and showed up at restaurant #2 no one was there either. I thought that I was going insane. I called my friend & there was no answer. I just sat in my car and laughed to myself (a panicky kind of laugh, not a funny one) 20 minutes later I finally got a call back from my friend and she said that they were in the side room of the restaurant & I somehow I didn't see them. I was very embarrassed when I finally walked in 40 minutes late and an entire table full of ladies was laughing at me and by huge belly.
MORAL OF THE STORY: It happens to everyone. Don't be too hard on yourself. Your brain will return, about 6 months after the baby is born.

You need to give yourself a mental break, or pat on the shoulder, or something. You're a 1. working 2. mother of 3. two small children and 4. a hubby in the Guard. Pregnant or not, that's enough balls to juggle for anyone. Third trimester is intense -- be gentle on yourself...

I was completely spaced out during most of my pregnancy! I listened to my intuition and took it easy as much as possible. Be GENTLE with yourself and remember how much more demanding it will be after the baby is born. Whenever I have this sort of dilemma I remind myself that there are cultures where women get to spend the entire week of their period alone and resting in a special hut. Unfortunately we don't have that sort of reverence for what goes on in our bodies in this society, but I try to find a little of that energy whenever possible.

uh, YEAH! You are going to be a sleepless mother for the next 6 months. Just priming everyone for it. ;)

Oh darlin' ... you're doing great! If ever there was an "excuse" for not being 100% on top of your game, this is it. I was also very hard on myself in the last months of pregnancy, continually telling myself that I was "making it up" and acting out the cliche of spacey pregnant lady. Your body is a little bit busy right now ... and you probably won't get your brain back for several months afterward, at least! I remember the exact day that my brain turned back on - and I realized I shouldn't have been so hard on myself along the way. Now - go get a massage and forget about the details ...

oh, wow, it is absolutely okay to go easy! in fact, it's kind of your only job at this time....whenever you hear those voices start nagging at you to do all those 'important' things for everyone else, remind yourself that your foremost priority is mentally and physically preparing yourself to usher a new person in the world, and then go take a nap!

uh, hello! it is absolutely ok! you are describing me the entire last month of this last pregnancy. as for the rush of energy, i had one a couple of weeks before giving birth this time and i got a TON done, which made me feel a little better about my own flakiness the last mont, so maybe that will happen to you too. thinking happy healthy birthing thoughts for you sarah! flake on, my dear, flake on. (although i really wouldn't call it being "flaky"...just pregnant!)

Please be kind to yourself. We expect way too much of ourselves as mamas and multitaskers. Just being a parent is a full-time, 24-hour-a-day job. I look back on how stressed out I was during most of my pregnancy and I regret that I didn't take more time to savor it and slow down. The way I see it, the more a mama tries to prove to the world that she can do everything at 90 mph while simultaneously creating new life, the more pressure it places on the rest of us to meet unrealistic expectations. Who cares about stereotypes. Something's gotta give. Building a baby is hard, hard work. We do ourselves a disservice if we pretend it's easy.

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