Baby Dolls for Boys?
As I've mentioned before, we're expecting our second baby in August. As we come in to the final stretch, I'm doing all of the normal 3rd trimester things...nesting like crazy, obessing over my labor and delivery, growing out of maternity clothes... But since this is our second baby, we also want to make sure that we do what we can to prepare Anders for the arrival of his little brother. He seems to understand the concept--there's a baby in mama's belly and he's gonna come out soon, he's gonna be a big brother, etc.
I want to do more talking with him about what it's like to have a baby in the house and the special things we do to take care of babies. I think giving him a little doll that he could take care of would be appropriate, and would give us things to talk about where babies are concerned. I've been on the lookout at several stores for a cute doll that he might like, and preferably would be a boy since we know that's who's coming home from the hospital with us. Not to turn this into a gender role issue, but everything that I see in the stores is so girly--pink and frilly all over. Does anyone have suggestions on where I can find a boy doll?
And while we're on the topic, is this something that other families have done to prepare older siblings for a new baby in the house? Did you find it helpful? Are there other things that we should be focused on doing these last few weeks to smooth the transition?
To smooth the transition a few weeks prior we had Dad start doing more things for our son, things Mom would normally do. Once the baby came he was already used to dad taking care of the majority of his needs he didn't notice otherwise.
Posted by: Tana | June 25, 2007 at 03:21 PM
Finnegan's has a great doll, named Paul. I don't remember the brand or anything, I just know that's where we got ours. He's bathable, comes with his own pacifier, bottle, and potty. Anatomically correct. We love him very much. I should add however, that despite the fact that the new baby brought our older the doll as a gift in the hospital, our older son has always preferred this ratty old doll we've always had around the house and the baby actually prefers the doll! Go figure.
Posted by: Tracy | June 25, 2007 at 03:24 PM
SpielWerk has beautiful cloth dolls. They are a little more spendy than most baby dolls but so sweet and soft. I want one for my boy...
Posted by: plain jane | June 25, 2007 at 04:13 PM
I think the "Paul" doll another poster mentioned is made by Corolle. We have the girl version, "Emma," for our daughter. It is originally meant to help with potty training, but our 20 month old daughter loves to cradle it, feed it, rock it, etc. in preparation for her sister coming in August. I don't know if she totally "gets" the idea of a new baby in the house yet, but I figure the doll will give her a way to do the things Mommy does when the new baby comes. Good luck!
Posted by: Jessica | June 25, 2007 at 05:13 PM
We didn't get it specifically for that reason, but we did get our boy a baby doll when he was two. It has a plastic head and limbs, but a soft, cuddly body. It's about 10-12 inches tall. The doll came with a pink outfit (although it looks pretty gender-neutral), but I had a whole box full of colorful doll clothes made by my grandmother (for my dolls!) that my mother had saved (bless her), so it wasn't always dressed in a stereotypically girly way.
We made a big point of letting our son decide on the doll's gender. We didn't refer to it as he or she (or used both interchangeably) and we didn't give it a name. After some months, our son revealed to us that the doll was a boy. Named Toddy-Roe.
He "nursed" him, dressed him, took Toddy-Roe for walks in the stroller. It was the most delightful sight. My second son (4) still plays with the doll. Except that TR has now apparently had a sex change. Same name, but son #2 knows for a fact that she's a girl.
Posted by: Zinemama | June 25, 2007 at 05:37 PM
i like the "waldorfy"-type dolls too. it's true they probably cant go into the bath like a plastic one, but they are so sweet and you can usually find one to suit your family type (hair, skin, sex). spielwerk in sellwood is a great suggestion. steiner storehouse (on division by franklin h.s.) has some too as well as children's exchange on division (by defunct wild oats). the nice thing about these dolls is that they're handmade so they have that extra love factor. the benefits of natural fiber are that it is closer to our own temperature - the "baby" will warm with all that loving like the real baby. diapers and other accessories are out there but if you get a sizable doll, you can use regular newbie clothes. i've also given my daughter (we're expecting our second too) the old "meconium" diaper covers that arent as nice as the other diaper covers for playing with her dolls. i figure i can dip into her supply for those first few sticky days when our baby arrives. good luck to you. i think i baby is a great idea for your little one. congratulations!
Posted by: sarah | June 25, 2007 at 07:37 PM
Hey Leah. I second the waldorf dolls. Here is a company that makes them with organic cotton and wool. joyswaldorfdolls.com
You can have them make the doll to your specifications. I ordered a pattern which comes with the fabric etc and am trying to make a doll for a friend but not much time now that Im juggling 2. If you dont want to order online then babyworks (link is on homepage)carries a big waldorf doll that comes with a diaper and can wear newborn size clothing. I read books to him about being a big brother and just talked about how much fun it was going to be for all of us to have a baby around. Good luck and enjoy!
Posted by: Lara | June 25, 2007 at 08:24 PM
I took our first son to buy a doll about two months before I was due. He picked out an African American baby girl. He held her, wrapped her in a blanket, put it to bed....so sweet. When the baby came along, he would lift his shirt and bring the dolly to his chest to feed her when I was feeding our little one. Too cute and funny. I think that the dolly helped him to look forward to helping out. He is five now and still brings her out every once in a while. Sometimes I find her sleeping next to his bed.
Posted by: ruby | June 25, 2007 at 09:04 PM
Nothing to do with dolls, but someone gave me the following bits of advice... like someone above said, dad doing more so there is less adjustment. A book called "I Used to be the Baby" by Robin Ballard (I love the images in the background of the harried mother), and finally after the baby is out and you are seeing your first born again for the first time, don't be holding the baby, spend a little quality time loving on him before you introduce him to his new sibling.
We did a doll too, from Target. It wasn't frilly, but it didn't do much for us. The book probably helped the most.
Posted by: Betsy | June 25, 2007 at 10:45 PM
We got my son this boy doll when he was 16 1/2 months and we were having my daughter.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2314284&cp=2255956.2273442.2255963.2256667&view=all&parentPage=family
I think it helped the transition a lot. He got left behind for awhile but my son (now 4) brings him out and likes to be a "dad" to him. I think my son was a little disappointed that he didn't get a Father's Day present from him!
Posted by: Elizabeth | June 25, 2007 at 11:07 PM
I can't give a recommendation on the doll, but when my second was born (9 months ago), my neice (who just turned 3) played a game that she still loves about what we do with the baby... I would have her in my lap and say "Are you going to kiss the baby?" and she would laugh and say yes, then I would say "Are you going to play go fish with the baby?" etc... getting outragous, but at the same time teaching what is OK to do to/with the baby. Of course, all the time laughing and tickling and talking about what a big girl she is. She still thinks it is fun, because we both end up in stiches over what we come up with!
Posted by: sharonk | June 25, 2007 at 11:16 PM
Another thought I had about Paul, and the "well-loved" doll....they are both exclusively breast fed by my 3 year old son still. Dad wasn't so sure what to make of this, but I thought it was wonderful!
Posted by: Tracy | June 25, 2007 at 11:28 PM
no offense, but i think a DOLL for a boy for that purpose is kind of unnecessary. if they don't have a doll, that doesnt mean that they wont "adjust".
i went through this when pregnant with my second son, and i just talked a lot about it, how it would affect him, i let him help me get the room ready,etc.
it's just not that big a deal. people have been having subsequent children since the beginning of time...
Posted by: aimee | June 25, 2007 at 11:35 PM
we carry handmade boy and girl dolls at LilyToad. they're made in nepal by burmese refugees and fairly traded/imported by a st. johns sister duo - globalsistergoods -
while they're not anatomically correct, don't have a pacifier attached to their plastic hole-mouths, or go pee pee in a diaper, they're wonderful for pretend play, dress-up, and just as a special friend....
my son just turned two and we got him one of the boy dolls for his birthday...he won't put it down!
and i definitely agree with spending more time with dad...it definitely helped both of our girls each time another baby came along.
Posted by: leslie | June 26, 2007 at 07:37 AM
They have wonderful, soft cotton dolls a Nova Natural, including many that are gender neutral colors. My 14-month old daughter has one that she loves to pat, cuddle and cover with a blankie. http://www.novanatural.com/browse.phtml?list_view=TRUE&sub_category_id=662
Posted by: Erin | June 26, 2007 at 08:41 AM
I second the "love on the older child" before introducting him to "our baby". Also, have a good friend walk into the room and GUSH over the "new big brother" without looking once at the baby. My dear pal came in and cried out "I hear there is a new big brother here! I came to see him!" I was so grateful I could have cried. Actually, I am sure I did!
Posted by: Jennifer G | June 28, 2007 at 08:56 PM
Wow! You're getting so close! We actually hung a sign on our front door asking people to address our oldest first and give her the honor of introducing them to her new brother.
Best wishes to you all!
Posted by: shayne | June 29, 2007 at 09:10 PM
Just one comment aimee's post. People have been having subsequent children since the begining of time, but sibling rivalry and sibling jealousy has existed since that time as well...ever heard of Cain and Able?
I think it's a great idea to do WHATEVER you can to help the first child(ren) prepare for the next.
Posted by: K | May 22, 2009 at 09:33 AM
Despite its gender-specific name, American Girl manufactures a vast array of male dolls. Their toddler-aged Bitty Twins come in pairs; buyers can select any skin tone, hair color, and gender combination. Outfits, accessories, and furniture are available for purchase.
Posted by: Jared Scott Tesler, Rochester, N.Y. | July 01, 2009 at 06:54 PM
I no longer wish to have my thoughts displayed on this page. Moderator, will you please delete both this comment and the one above? Thank you.
Posted by: Jared Scott Tesler, Rochester, N.Y. | July 09, 2009 at 12:17 PM
Yeah, almost all dolls in the market now are meant for girls. But isn't that a great excuse to make a doll yourself? Maybe you can start a new trend! It would also be fun and challenging to make the clothes for both boy and girl dolls. Good luck!
Posted by: Chris Jeffery | May 20, 2011 at 08:25 AM
WE JUST BOUGHT A "GIRLY" DOLL AND BOUGHT CLOTHES SEPERATELY FROM THE CHILDRENS DEPARTMENT, PREEMIE CLOTHES FIT PERFECTLY! MY SON LOVES HIS DOLL, HE KISSES HIM AND SINGS TO HIM, FEEDS HIM, PUSHES HIM HIM IN THE STROLLER...ITS SO SWEET!
Posted by: NIKI | May 20, 2011 at 09:08 AM