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Being a Mama: Those Magical Moments

This week before Mother's day I've been thinking about what being a Mama has brought to my life.  One of the things that stands out foremost are those magical moments where everything "clicks" and you know you're doing the right thing.  For me, part of the challenge is that the magical moments are very much outnumbered by the very frustrating, not-at-all right moments where we're just trying to get through that shopping trip or get loaded into the car, or even get dressed and ready for bed.  The mundane every day events are not boring just for mama, but for the little ones too, and I think they feed on the uninterestingness and perhaps decide it's not in their interest to participate.

Thaboyz But the magical moments can come at any time, in any place, and they are wonderful and make mamahood all worthwhile.  Most recently the thing that makes me smile and makes my heart warm is when my eldest plays with his brother and makes him giggle (he's almost 7 months old now!).  Usually I don't "get" what's so funny, but I don't have to.  All I have to know is that they're loving each other at that moment.  Also magical are the times when our (nearly) four year old gets to participate in a grown-up type event with his daddy.  Things like riding the chairlift when snow skiing or mowing the lawn put him in a state of wonderment which creates an unusual quietude in our otherwise energetic little guy.  The expression on his face is always one of awe and interest, you can almost see him absorbing the situation with all of his senses.

As a mama I should probably take this as a lesson to myself.  To really enjoy things with all of my being instead of rushing on to the next step and achieving the next "goal" or accomplishing the next task.  As a mama my children have taught me to side step the routine, and really enjoy the moment.  To really fully experience something with all of my senses and in so doing, I've learned to enjoy life to a deeper extent than I had before.  Some people spend time lamenting the loss of freedom... freedom of spontaneity, freedom of schedule, freedom of other choices that are allowed to people who have not endeavoured into parenthood.  Occasionally I start to think maybe I'm missing out on something.  But then it's clear, if I hadn't started down this path, there is most certainly something I'd be missing out on and there is no doubt in my mind that I chose the right path.


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On Valentine's Day I dropped my daughter off at day care and was getting ready to leave, chatting with the DCP, when out of nowhere, my then-19-month-old baby looked up and said "I love you Mommy!" for the first time! There was not a dry eye in the room! Then, yesterday, she was sitting on the couch "talking" with my friend's (adult) son, when suddenly, she looked over to me, pointed, and said to him, "That's my mommy!" Pretty much her first complete sentence. It was so sweet. It makes me forgive the 5:00am wake-ups on Saturdays and the oatmeal poured on the floor and the cat this morning at breakfast! People always said I wouldn't be able to understand the love of my own child until I actually had one, and sometimes I look at her nad she smiles just because I'm her mommy, and I am overwhelmed. Sometimes it's almost painful at those times to imagine life without her!

My son crawled in our bed at 6:30 the other morning, while his daddy was in the shower. He cuddled up to me and said, "Mommy, I'm going to keep you forever!" It was such a great way to be woken up... The belly laughs and moments of discovery (like new flowers in spring, sunsets, butterflies and how a bicycle works) bring such unimagined joy into our lives that it makes my heart want to burst.

I have a ton of work to do today so wasn't planning to go visit my son at lunchtime like I normally do. But it's such a beautiful day that I rebelled and walked over to his daycare, scooped him up and took him outside to the park where he practiced walking in the grass, pointing at everything and smiling and laughing. He turns one next week and I can hardly believe it. I had so much anxiety when he was an itty-bitty and now I just can't wait to see what new thing every day is going to bring.

I know what you all mean about those magical moments. Really, I do.

But I must confess that the moment it occured to me that it had been weeks since I'd heard my 4yo's plaintive call, "Maaamaa, come wipe my tushie!" and I realized that he was now taking care of business on his own...well, that was MAGIC.

Watching Anders experience things for the first time is definitely the best...the other day we were out in the yard and I pointed out a little tiny baby strawberry on the bush...he could tell that it was a strawberry, but the look on his face when it clicked with him that this is how you actually get strawberries was the best! Now almost no day goes by without us going around the yard to check on all the babies--lots of baby strawberries and peas growing on the vines--it's going to be a huge test of his patience to see if he can resist picking before they are ripe!

More often than not, if we say, "kiss" to from our 20-month old son, he'll turn his head and push his cheek against our faces so WE can kiss HIM. But he'll gladly kiss the cat, the ball, etc.

A few weeks ago he woke up in the middle of the night, feverish, limp and inconsolable. I decided to crash on the sofa in his room with him curled up on my right side. After some minor adjustments, including turning my head away from him to get comfortable, suddenly his hand snaked out, grabbed the collar of my pajamas and pulled me to him, so he could give me a big fat kiss on the cheek.

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