Pregnancy Hysteria
There are a lot of fellow pregnant mamas in the PDX area right now. With the food- and alcohol-filled holiday season upon us and a little kickboxer-in-the-making in my belly, I've been bombarded with the same questions, guilts, and confusion about what is "safe" and what is not "safe" to eat and drink during pregnancy - only this time, I'm more annoyed by the conflicting "research" and more so by societal and cultural perceptions.
When I am here in PDX, I feel like every pregnant mama tries to follow the American model of the Good Pregnant Woman: no beer or wine at all, no soft cheeses at all, no sushi, no this, no that, etc. I spent Thanksgiving week with my husband's family, and with his side of the family being from Switzerland and a sister-in-law from France, it's a whole different world of what's acceptable and what is not. To them, I'm another case of the repressed American being freakishly overcautious due to media hysteria.
Perhaps it is because it's my second child that I am more weary of the societal and cultural taboos that are pressed upon us mamas-to-be, and I'm not reading those damn pregnancy magazines or any of the books this time. I trust my doctor, and the other doctors I've spoken with...yet I am still fraught by the guilt that comes with crossing those lines - I love seafood, I love wine , I love Brie - and while I restrained from all during my first, I've come to realize what doctors have been telling me: that almost everything is fine in moderation. A recent article in the UK advocates a pregnant or nursing mama have no more than two pints of beer per week, and my doc says I can have a glass or two of wine a week and it would be safe.
There is a NY Times article that I think does a decent job of tackling this issue from a societal point of view. What about you? Without attacking what other commenters may share, what are some personal taboos that you stand by as a pregnant mama or did when you were pregnant? What are some societal taboos that you choose or chose to ignore? Why do you think some mamas tend to be the harshest of critics when it comes to telling other mamas-to-be what's ok and what's not? Me: I am done feeling guilty about eating more than 12 ounces of seafood over Thanksgiving week, and for that tiny sip of wine I had at dinner. I may just indulge in a glass myself at the wine party I am hosting in a couple of weeks. Mmm...a nice pinot noir sounds lovely...
I'm in my second pregnancy too, and have also felt a tad more laxed about all the rules and regulations. I always think a person should just go with their gut on this stuff. If I want to eat fish, I just make sure it's on the "safe" (or safer?) list. But I did that when I wasn't pregnant. I drink coffee, but keep it to a single shot, or one cup of regular. There is no way I can deal with work and a toddler without coffee. No way. I've tried sips of wine, but apparently my taste buds are revolting and it always ends up tasting like rubbing alcohol, much to my chagrin. As for soft cheeses, I eat plenty because I take solace in knowing that all (or the majority produced) American made cheese is pasteurized. I've gotten nasty looks for ordering a glass of wine at a restaurant, but who cares. As long as I'm not drinking straight from the bottle with a straw, they can take a leap. However, I do avoid second hand smoke. But that's as much for me as for the baby. Yes, Americans are over-paranoid...but I am okay with that as there are a lot of moms-to-be out there that needed these strict guidelines. "Everything in moderation...even moderation" for most people.
A friend was pg while living in Paris. Her French doctor told her she could drink and smoke, but just avoid cats at all cost! That cracked me up!
Posted by: Laura | November 30, 2006 at 11:10 AM
Interesting...I too was a nut about doing everything perfectly when I was pregnant with my son (now 16 months old). It was really tough for me. I worked in the concert industry (concerts every night, everything was free, etc. It was a HUGE lifestyle change.) On the next go 'round, my main concern will still be seafood. The whole mercury thing scares the crap out of me. It has been proven time and again that it affects basic brain development and I'm convinced about it's link to autism (although I'm sure the FDA will never admit it - can you imagine the public backlash if they did???) I love seafood but I've eliminated it from my diet permanently. Consumer Reports also released a study recently about how the mercury levels in ALL canned tuna were often higher than what is allowed by the goverment and recommended that pregnant women avoid it completely. Here is the link: http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/food/tuna-safety/overview/0607_tuna_ov.htm However, I'll have no problem with the occasional beer or glass of wine! I hope I'm not coming off as paranoid or pushy - I'm just very passionate about the mercury issue and feel very betrayed by the FDA and their inability to "tell it like is." I used to have a tuna fish sandwich for lunch all the time and feel I would have had the opportunity to better prepare for my pregnancy had they provided me with the facts. I didn't start researching the issue until I was almost eight weeks along and was just shocked by what I found.
Posted by: Virginia | November 30, 2006 at 11:31 AM
During my first pregnancy, I tried to be the good pg woman and follow all the rules (although I never stopped eating lunchmeat). I stayed away from artificial sweeteners (until I found out I had GD), I cut back on caffeine, I didn't even have a sip of alcohol. My 2nd pregnancy was much different. I really didn't watch my caffeine intake at all and I would occasionally have a beer or small glass of wine.
I tried to avoid those things that seemed clearly harmful to the baby, but other things that weren't so "clearly" harmful - I did in moderation.
Posted by: Meena | November 30, 2006 at 11:40 AM
I lost the taste for coffee early in both of my pregnancies, but got it back in the third trimester and resumed my latte habit with no ill effects. I also had no qualms about the occasional glass of wine, which I enjoyed thoroughly and without shame. Still, I only averaged half a glass a month (if that). Sushi is the one thing I did give up completely.
Moderation really does seem to be the key in all of this. I tried to pay reasonable attention to what the experts had to say, without blindly accepting every word. And I placed a great deal of trust in my pregnancy-heightened intuitions.
Posted by: Tia | November 30, 2006 at 12:33 PM
hehe, Monica, you are so not hanging out with my friends! or, well, at least not me. i liberally indulge in soft cheeses (heating where possible to kill whatever nasty bugs, and when not possible, asking for pasteurized versions -- there are plenty available at Pastaworks), sushi (but only from the best places), and moderate amounts of beer and wine while pregnant -- and let's not even go to coffee. suffice it to say my 19-month-old son *loves* coffee and will happily down an ounce or two of my cup of Guatemala Finco del Injerto whenever I set it down without proper security measures. (and I have to put the beer *really* high up or he'd be drinking that, too)
when I was pregnant with Truman I had quite a few friends who were also pregnant, and we'd regularly go out for a drink and share a bottle of wine among several of us (there was usually at least one person who wasn't pregnant). our servers cheerfully let us go at it. maybe it's a neighborhood-by-neighborhood thing!
Posted by: sarah gilbert | November 30, 2006 at 12:48 PM
p.s. it's worth noting that, in my opinion, our bodies tell us what's really dangerous -- so, for instance, even before i knew i was pregnant someone offered me a glass of dewar's. it tasted awful to me and i couldn't finish it. likewise, raw mussels and oysters seem the very height of "disgusting" to me when pregnant and the smell of cigarette or marijuana smoke makes me want to hurl. it's why you crave red meat (hi mr. iron), peanut butter, sweet fruits, and dairy products!
and i liked how many of the pregnant women interviewed for the new york times noted that what they really liked about drinking was the ritual -- I agree. it's not so much that i want a buzz, just that i enjoy drinking wine or beer at the end of a day, with a good meal, or out with friends. and goodness knows i'm eating enough to moderate the effects of 8 ounces of beer :)
Posted by: sarah gilbert | November 30, 2006 at 01:05 PM
Sarah, I'm not prego... :) But, I have been and I like most was an uber cautious rookie the first time around and not the second. It's the whole moderation principle applied once more.
Posted by: Monica | November 30, 2006 at 01:42 PM
M -- so glad to see a post from you! When I was pregnant, I abstained from everything I wasn't supposed to have. I figured that it was only 10 months and I just didn't want to take the risk, even if it was slight. (My husband was a special ed teacher at the time and especially sensitive to any risks.) That being said, I really think it's up to each individual woman and her doctor. I remember reading an article in Mothering about a woman who was so serverly ill during pregnancy, only taking marijuana as medication could help her. She did a lot of research and found that it was actually healthier than a lot of the prescription medications available for nausea.
And I agree with Sarah -- when I was preggo, I couldn't even stand the idea of wine, smoke -- any of it. Shoot, I could barely take vitamins. My body just didn't want it, at all. I think the terror inflicted on women when pregnant (or breasfeeding! or bottle feeding! or staying home! or cosleeping!) is far more dangerous than a small glass of wine.
Best of luck to you, and your blossoming family. :)
Posted by: Sara | November 30, 2006 at 02:32 PM
I haven't read the other posts, so someone else may have covered this. As far as cheese items go; food quality is much higher in europe. Their standards for what cows are fed, and what hormones are injected into those cows, are much higher in the US where quality standards are heavily influenced by large profiting corporations. The reasons we're directed not to eat certain cheeses and fishies is due to our poor environmental treatment. So, I continued to eat organic soft (even raw!) cheese from sources I trust.
The choice in the end, however, is YOURS and there's no reason to let others choose for you!
Posted by: Amberlynn | November 30, 2006 at 02:46 PM
A lot of the same pressures, perfectionism, guilt, etc. continue from pregnancy into motherhood, wouldn't you agree? I haven't read this book "Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety": http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/biblio?inkey=62-1573223042-0
..but I wish I could find the time to read it! As a full-time working mom with a 13-month old, it's simply hard to read 'books' anymore! Now, I only aim to make a small dent in the dusty stack of New Yorkers next to my bed! In any case, mothers' self-imposed martyrdom combined with societal expectations continue beyond pregnancy, with the "no alcohol", "no caffeine", and "no high mercury" fish as no-nos when breastfeeding. And then there are all the pressures about what you are supposed to feed your child, in terms of food but also in terms of their entire environmental and behavioral "diet". I just try/tried to find some middle ground. Namely, I try to pay attention to the things that have sound and confirmed scientific results. I give less attention if the research is murky, inconclusive, or comes from one-sided dogmatic sources. I do have a friend who lives life by what I would best describe as a form of the "precautionary principle": see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Precautionary_principle
Very, very strict about everything intaken unless it's been proven NOT harmful already! I just don't think I could do it.. I'm too exhausted as it is.
Posted by: Joan | November 30, 2006 at 02:59 PM
Hot topic, Marlynn. Joan suggests a good book on the subject - not that I read it, either, but I did hear the author talk about it on NPR. Salon.com has also published articles on the subject.
During my own pregnancy, I got a nurse to admit to me that the whole admonition on alcohol is really geared at women who drink too much. I mean, American culture when it comes to alcohol has tended not to be of the "glass of wine w/ dinner" attitude. It's more about the whole drinking to excess thing. So as it was explained to me, the medical profession has adopted this stance to keep pregnant women from getting drunk, regularly or even once. Maybe someone else has heard this explanation? God knows Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is a scary thing. Anyway, I had the occasional glass of wine or beer and tended not to sweat it.
As for sushi, a nurse told me about a pregnant woman who got worms from a sushi joint that she believed reliable and had been frequenting for years. That isn't the normal stated reason for avoiding sushi during pregnancy, but it was enough for me.
Re: Why other moms are harshly critical of anyone who isn't Super Sacrificing Mom, Joan probably hits the nail on the head, but I also sometimes wonder if some other interests aren't being served by keeping moms divided against each other instead of united on issues we can all agree about. Think how powerful we'd be (if we had the energy). Sigh.
Posted by: theboss | November 30, 2006 at 03:57 PM
I did just start reading the book Joan referred to ("Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety": http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/biblio?inkey=62-1573223042-0) a couple weeks ago, and it is the single most liberating thing I have ever read. I would like to give a copy to every mama I know. It is making me look at every aspect of parenting differently: Note to self: Exhaustive Analysis of Every Little Thing my children and I do (and eat) is not the key to good parenting...oh yeah, and neither is guilt over my choices, circumstances or constant comparison with the situation of others. (?????) Wow, what's left? Enjoying my children? Family fun? I think I'll have to read it a couple times to get the hang of it. ANYHOO, I went a lot easier on myself the 2nd time around, and actually enjoyed my pregnancy. And my coffee. Now I'm trying to learn how to just *enjoy* motherhood as well.
Posted by: fionnsnana | November 30, 2006 at 05:10 PM
What a lovely and wise group of mammas!
I'm pregnant now with our second child and it is totally a different experience. (What will pregnancy number 8 be like, I wonder.Gasp.)
I was so very afraid and concerned with making a mistake when I was pregnant with our daughter. And now I've made lots and lots and lots of mistakes. She seems to be doing fine. Despite our parenting, she is her own unique person.
I am left with the comforting knowledge, that like my parents, we will make mistakes, that will effect her for the rest of her life. It's inevitable, she'll be in her 20's sitting with her girlfriends and talking about her crazy parents. And we'll the crazy parents. I'm now ok with that. I'll do my best every day to be a great mother but at the end of the day, what I really want my children to know is that we are all really really human. And I don't want my daughter to ever feel the pressures to be a perfect mother/wife or amazing employee, etc. like I very often feel. It is really difficult to be a mother, let alone a super hero. Everytime I try to wear that super mom cape for awhile, I end up feeling and acting depressed. . . and THAT can't be good for children.
So, this time around I'm trying to keep my body health and my mind happy. If that means a sip of champagne at New Year's, then so be it. I might even eat a hot dog!
When ever I feel like I am loosing perspective on what it is like to have children here. . . I read the New York Times articles on women in Africa. Our risk from eating sushi or painting a bedroom is so small compared to the palpable fear that women there face. That doesn't mean to say we shouldn't make wise choices, but it just puts my fears into a wider perspective.
I think that Joan is very wise when she points out the mothers should really try to support each other more. Thank you Joan.
And thank you Marlynn for the great posting!
Posted by: Heather | November 30, 2006 at 06:12 PM
I used to work with someone from France and she would talk about how her doctor actually prescribed wine when she was pregnant! I've always loved that story and keep it in the back of my mind when I'm feeling like the anxiety of choosing food and drink during pregnancy is getting overwhelming.
This is my first pregnancy and it's already bizarre how my favorite foods are no-no's (lunchmeat and brie)...and then when you throw in spinach scares and random people telling you horror stories, it's made my whole eating experience way too anxiety producing.
I love that this subject is being discussed, and I love going back to intuition and the Mom knowing what's best for her and her baby. And if random folks could leave the cautionary advice to the doctor and focus on positive support, that'd be a blessing indeed!
Posted by: Jillian | December 01, 2006 at 07:12 AM
When I was pregnant with Anders I was struck by how stressful pregnancy is on your mind and body....everyone talks about it being the most wonderful time of their lives, but read a few chapters of a book and almost any first time mom will be convinced she's going to have a baby with some terrible birth defect because of a poor choice she's made. The reality of course, is that most babies are born perfectly healthy.
My mom kept suggesting "a little beer" while I was pregnant "to help with my circulation"...:) And my inlaws, who live in Norway never stopped offering wine when we visited while I was pregnant. I didnt take them up, but with baby #2 I might be more inclined to indulge in a little wine, especially in my 3rd trimester.
Posted by: NoPo Mama | December 01, 2006 at 08:07 AM
I disregarded almost all of the taboos during my pregnancy (although my SMIL and FIL totally attacked me regarding the sushi choice, which was something that took me a while to get past, and I still harbor a wee grudge about their duo-jumping-all-over-my-hormonally-charged-sick-as-a-dog-self). I ate brie and sushi. I drank wine and beer. I did these things in very limited amounts, on a fairly rare basis. And I dealt with the requisite guilt attacks by telling the voices in my head to shut up, and it usually worked.
My son is now 16 months old, and is advanced in every area of his development. He's always been off the charts in his growth, and I would attribute a little of it, at least, to my relatviely stress-free pregnancy (at least the eating-habits part, anyway).
A stress-free momma = a healthy environment for a fetus. I believe that wholeheartedly. Eat, drink, and be merry. All in moderation, my friend, as you already pointed out. :)
Posted by: lildb | December 01, 2006 at 09:11 AM
p.s. I concur with what everyone else said re: think about *where* you're getting your sushi/cheeses/etc. It's more important to know your source than it is to consider the end product, I believe.
Posted by: lildb | December 01, 2006 at 09:16 AM
During my pregnancy, I listened to the books and doctors regarding soft cheeses, I did sneak a bite here and there. Too god not to pass up. It wasn't until I had my munchkin and in the grocery store one day shopping for a brie, that I saw the words "pasteurized" brie. Oh I was so MAD, that I had given up 10 months of soft cheeses! I've found since that most soft cheeses are pasteurized, most cheese purveryors at the farmers markets, too!
I did stay away from sushi during pregnancy and breastfeeding, but I did enjoy california rolls. The mercury risk was too high for me to enjoy it. Even now, I stay away from swordfish because of its known levels.
And like other uMamas out there, wine didn't sound good most of the time, and when I felt like drinking it, it gave me heartburn. Marlynn, I say have a glass at the party on Saturday and enjoy!
Posted by: Alisa | December 01, 2006 at 12:39 PM
Hey Sarah G - I am *so* hanging out with you and your friends instead! :) After discovering that it is safe to eat soft cheeses as long as they are pasteurized, I think I ate two whole rounds of pasteurized brie all by myself Thanksgiving week!
theboss - part of the spark behind this post was a recent discussion I had with my own doctor, who gave me the same reasoning the nurse gave you: that because so many people have different levels of what "moderation" means, they tend to take a more conservative stance.
I suppose that part of the spark behind this post is that I am now getting a double dose of unsolicited advice - both as a mama of a toddler AND as a pregnant mama. I don't give a flying f**k what people say and just live my life the best I can - but it does irk me how sometimes society places undue added pressures on pregnant women and moms.
It is so great to hear from a variety of women who have made their own choices and stand by them. I do believe we should all support each other more as mamas and as women, and for me, that also means being able to learn from the choices other women have made - especially if they are different from my own - and the reasons behind those choices. So thank you all very much for sharing so openly and eloquently - I know it can be a hot topic!
Posted by: Marlynn | December 01, 2006 at 12:49 PM
wow-- am I the only 'urban mom' that thinks you shouldn't drink alcohol during pregnancy? It's amazing to me what (and how) people often justify what makes them feel good. Many studies have been done to prove the negative effects of alcohol on the fetus. And, even IF drinking alcohol during pregnancy "might' be 'safe', wouldn't you want to err on the side of more protection for your baby? A nice chilled glass of sparkling cider while everyone else has wine isn't going to kill you, or deprive you of anything. It's only 9 months, ladies, can't we abstain a little?
Posted by: tanya | December 01, 2006 at 04:10 PM
My obgyn is Japanese. She told me that as a doctor she had to warn me against the dangers of sushi while pregnant, but as a Japanese woman she shared with me that in Japan, women do not abstain from it. To me the issue is the cleanliness of the restaurant. Another obgyn friend of mine explained to me that the bacteria from soft cheese is not harmful to babies, but should the mother get sick, then the medicine would be harmful for the baby, so it's really the mom's call if she is willing to endure it without meds in the rare chance she gets sick. I did drink an occasional glass of wine in my 3rd trimesters (sorry Tanya, my choice, you may choose differently as you like) and my children are bright, beautiful and healthy. I remember a waiter at bluehour once telling me that he sometimes served wine to pregnant women in coffee cups to avoid their embarrassment of being judged. I think that it's a shame that anyone would judge a woman for making a choice about what she puts into her body, pregnant or not. As with anything, moderation is the key.
Posted by: robin | December 01, 2006 at 04:41 PM
...I'm with you Robin. Seems like blame, shame, and judgement are far more toxic in the long run than the occasional glass of wine.
Posted by: fionnsnana | December 01, 2006 at 05:21 PM
oops, Marlynn & Monica, I just realized I mixed y'all up -- sorry, call it motherhood-induced blindness! and thanks for the words about blame & shame & judgment. those "studies" have only been done on excessive drinking -- five more more glasses of alcohol a day! i'd bet that even while *not* pregnant an infinitesimal tiny number of us fit that profile (ok, maybe that one day in august in new york ... ;).
i'll never have the energy to analyse every thing i could give up "just for 10 months" to make my baby *perfect* -- so I'm going to try to eat lots of veggies and fruits, take my fish oil and my prenatal vitamins, drink lots of water and be mindful! i feel like i could say things about so many toxins and chemicals in our environment... "living next to power lines is proven to cause cancer and birth defects, you can't give it up for 10 months?" or "high fructose corn syrup is proven to cause obesity and early-onset diabetes, you can't give it up for 10 months?" or any number of other things. i'm not a martyr and i'm not about to morph into one while pregnant. i gave up *sugar* and nearly all processed white flour for several months while pregnant with truman, in an attempt to make him littler, and it had zero effect on his body weight. so much for martyrdom!
hmmph.
hehe. maybe i've had too much caffeine today!
Posted by: sarah gilbert | December 01, 2006 at 05:58 PM
and, it's also important to examine these things cross-culturally, as much as we can. for instance, in college, i read a case study where a bunch of mayan women were compared with some women from utah about how they dealt with newborn sleep habits. the utah women all put their babies in separate rooms, and the mayan women all co-slept. each group of women thought the other was "barbaric."
likewise, wine (in particular) has been regarded in many cultures througout history as a form of tonic, moreso than a mode of alteration. wine is fairly low in alcohol and, i think, doesn't need to be regarded as a total scare during pregnancy. in moderation, of course!
p.s. yes, do NOT eat canned tuna! sooooo unsafe.
Posted by: Sadie Rose | December 01, 2006 at 06:16 PM
This is so refreshing to see something on the web about pregnancy that is realistic and not paronoia-inducing!
My gandmother came to visit for the holidays and I was talking to her about all of the different expectations and guidelines pregnant mothers in the U.S. are supposed to adhere to today. What sparked the conversation was when we went out for an amazing Christmas Eve brunch and I really wanted to order the eggs benedict. However, it came with smoked salmon and the eggs are only softly cooked, so I chose something else. As I watched my family enjoying their eggs benedict and glass of champagne I felt envious and pressured into being the 'perfect' gestating mother! Then my grandmother shared her experience of pregnancy in the 1950's and how different it was. Women smoked throughout their pregnancies to avoid weight gain and drank the occasional coctail (or two) during happy hour. Now I am not condoning drinking and smoking during pregnancy, it just put a different perspective on the whole 10 months for me. Obviously, we know a whole lot more about the harmful effects of tobacco and alcohol no than in the 50's. However, my mother and her siblings are smart, beautiful, healthy people and my grandmother was just following the societal norms of the time.
I try to stay healthy by taking my vitamins and pre-natal yoga classes. But I think I'll give myself a break for the rest of this pregnancy and stop reading all those paranoid on-line posts about the dangers of shampoo and lunchmeat. After all, we are doing the best we can. Knowledge is power, but sometimes ignorance is bliss. I think I'll enjoy a nice toast with a glass of champagne at New Year's too! And I won't feel guilty or ashamed about it.
Posted by: Melissa | December 26, 2006 at 10:58 AM
I am 12 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child (my others are 16 & 18...YEARS OLD). And I have been freaked out and paranoid the entire time that I have known I am pregnant. This post was amazing, enlightening, liberating, and will be a great topic of discussion (debate?) when I see my OBGYN on the 10th of Jan.
I'm so glad I found this site!!! And yah, maybe I *will* have a couple sips of champagne on NY Eve.
H
Posted by: Heather | December 30, 2006 at 03:36 PM
More on the fish vs. no fish during pregnancy debate:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/27/health/27nutr.html?pagewanted=print
Posted by: Joan | March 02, 2007 at 02:45 PM
you all need serious help! none of you have had the pleasure of bringing home a sick baby..yet anyways! you need to give your heads a big shake and realize it is NOT ABOUT YOU FOR THESE SHORT MONTHS! You need to think about your infant inside that needs the best possible start in life. there are reasons why those 'suggestions' re: food/alcohol etc are in place! If your dr. told you it's ok to drink-you may want to find a responsible one who isnt interested in treating you or your infant postpartom for some horrible birth defect/illness!
Posted by: preggers | August 24, 2007 at 10:39 PM
It is so irritating to deal with other people's psuedo-medical expertise while being pregnant. Can't I even enjoy my shrimp scampi without a random co-worker graciously letting me know that "pregnant women shouldn't eat shrimp because of the mercury"?? grrr. I occasionally split a beer with my husband at dinner, or drink a glass of wine without a bit of guilt. Moderation! I'm sure it is more harmful to my unborn child to drive to and from work, or to walk down a long flight of stairs without holding onto the railing than an occasional drink. I wish people would stay out of my business! I've had people ask when I would be buying a new car, since my current car is OBVIOUSLY not safe enough to put a baby in (it's not a tank-sized SUV). Thanks but no thanks for the unsolicited advice.
Posted by: Nicole | September 22, 2008 at 03:17 PM
http://www.cdc.gov/Features/AlcoholFreePregnancy/
Posted by: e. | September 22, 2008 at 03:44 PM
I too am really really tired of sitting through what used to be a perfectly enjoyable dinner with friends and relatives who now treat me like an awful and reckless yahoo for everything from eating sushi to having a cup of coffee to sipping the one or two glasses of beer I have had during my entire pregnancy.
I lived in Europe and nannied for a lot of kids there. Having children around was fun and part of the social fabric. Here I feel a bit like my belly is really just a target for people's unsolicited, and often totally hysterical attitudes.
Posted by: Tanya | March 27, 2009 at 08:09 PM