Can we talk about personal mama style?
Sent to us by Kat, a fellow urbanMama:
When I worked at my office I usually spent 99% of my clothing budget on work clothes: jackets, trousers, "fancy" jeans. And because I work in a creative industry I could get away with a lot, though I was decidedly the conservative one at my agency. But now that I work out of my home office, and less than half time, I don't need those things, or not much of them. I see clients and colleagues in person maybe three times a month now. And when I do, I'm usually nursing Iris. But that's a whole other discussion...
My non-work clothes are usually very casual, like gardening casual. I guess I usually wore my work clothes even in off hours, and that just became my style.
But now, that doesn't work. It's silly to wear jackets while caring for a two-year-old and a newborn. And I'm likely to lose an earlobe to a curious baby if I wear my usual earrings.
So I'm having to find a whole new personal style, one that relates to what I do all day, is low-maintenance, but speaks to my vision of myself: creative, colorful, modern. And it has to fit over my nursing boobs! And conceal my flabby tummy! Ugh. It's hard!
I am envisioning a whole line of clothes designed for SAH/WAH moms who want to be stylish but comfortable and likely have "mama bodies" that need some special tailoring...
What do you wear all day when you're home with the kids? If you work, do you have a different home wardrobe than your work wardrobe? Do you feel stylish and like your clothes reflect who you are and how you want the world to see you? If you do, how'd you get there? If you don't, what would your dream wardrobe comprise?
Hahaah. This is funny because I work at home and think about this all the time....
I always tell people "it's all about the STYLISH PAJAMAS." So you look pretty hot, but you're so comfy that you could keep it on for days (and maybe do). Obviously, personal style and preference will play a major part in the actual articles. But it really is amazing how much cute stuff comes in spandex and cotton these days. For instance, on of my go-to outfits is a pair of the long gaucho pants - suuuper comfy and really cute. Then I usually wear a short stretchy skirt on top to give it some dimension, and then pair it with an American Apparel cute/comfy/cotton shirt and it's a pretty good outift. Compliment-worthy, and easy to crawl into bed with. American Apparel is a good place to start in general for hip and comfy clothes...but you are right about the mama-specific line. Let's start it!
Posted by: Sadie Rose | September 11, 2006 at 10:36 PM
I hadn't thought about it as stylish PJs (a la Sadie Rose) but that's a good way to describe my at-home uniform. I wear a pair of black mid-shin Jockey Yoga pants and a black v-neck "In Due Time" maternity shirt that doesn't look precisely like a maternity shirt (the V is pretty deep, so I'm still making use of the extra cleavage) and sort of skims over the still-smishy belly. I have two pairs of the pants, and two of the shirts, so I can go for a full week in this outfit, barring any major baby-vomitous episodes. It can also be dressed up a bit with long scarves, fancy sandals, fancy earrings, jacket etc. for out-of-the-house adventures. If I'm feeling ambitious. I'm concerned about the change of season, however. I don't want to wear sweats all day (I'd feel icky) so I'll be on the hunt for a tailored, boot-cut type pant that's as comfy as sweats, but is a bit higher on the fashion scale. I'll probably turn again to athletic wear.
I'm probably in the minority on this, but I really love the idea of having a uniform - not having to think about what I'm going to wear each day. That's why I loved all my maternity clothes. But having a few more options wouldn't be a bad idea either.
I do have to wear different clothes to go into the "office" when I do go. Unfortunately, my old office clothes still don't fit, so I've had to buy a few fill-in pieces here and there. But the minute I get home, I'm soooo happy to be back in my uniform. : )
Posted by: Jessica Poundstone | September 12, 2006 at 12:32 AM
Oh, good topic, Kat! Tryg and I talk about this one a lot...When it comes to clothing, he's definitely a metrosexual, regularly spending 2-3 times what I spend on clothes, especially jeans...I wont mention how much he spent on a pair of LEE jeans in Europe this summer! (Granted, they are definitely a different cut, much hipper than the versions you'd find at Sears for 24.99, but still!)
I'm definitely a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, and I'm thrilled to be back on the west coast, where my casual style is not looked down upon almost everywhere I go. When I was working on the East Coast my old school female boss gave me dirty looks when I regularly showed up at the office without hose in the summer time...gasp! I figured that as long as I was one of their top producers and I wasnt meeting with clients, my "business casual" style was fine...I was on a mission to debunk their "dress for success" old school mentality.
Now that I'm home with Anders, I'm usually wearing shorts and a t-shirt in the summer, or jeans and a t-shirt or sweater other times of the year. I highly recommend investing in a few pairs of hip jeans. I love my Sevens, and if I dont get pregnant this fall, I'm going to treat myself to a pair of Citizens. I would by no means consider myself a trendy person, but my jeans make me feel good when I put them on, even if I'm just pairing them with a t-shirt and flip-flops. I'm hoping that as long as I stick with the stylish jeans, I will avoid the "mom jeans" look that Tryg and I joke about all the time--it's my worst fear about being a mom! Just shoot me and bury me in a minivan if that ever happens!
I've really tried to avoid the yoga pants look...I know it's comfy, but I'm trying to draw the line somewhere for myself.
The thing that bothers me most about my mom look now is my hair...4 out of 5 days you'll see me with a pony-tail. I used to wear my hair quite a bit shorter, but it did require more work in the mornings and the bed-head was awful. So for now, the longer is better, but I'm hoping when summer is over and I'm working a little that I'll be blowdrying my hair on a regular basis again!
Posted by: NoPo Mama | September 12, 2006 at 08:27 AM
I'm with NoPo Mama on two counts - no to yoga pants, yes to jeans that fit your shape. I see women who can pull off the pj/yoga pants look, but when I wear them I just feel shlumpy. I recently bought jeans that fit me better and am thrilled with them. (embarrassing admission: I read the recent Oprah article on buying jeans for your shape, and wrote down the jeans for my type.)
Knowing that I have to give up most jewelery until my gal is past her grab and pull years, I try to find fun shirts, socks or shoes to make up for it. Amazingly, Target sells good and cheap women-cut t-shirts.
Posted by: nonlineargirl | September 12, 2006 at 10:58 AM
I had to laugh when I read this post and the subsequent comments. I’m on maternity leave with my second daughter and right now my stay-at-home uniform is sweats. Not like the kind John Travolta wore in the P.E. scene in Grease, but like the velour or terrycloth zip-up hoodie kind. Oh, and flip-flops. I feel put together and comfy at the same time. Dressing up for me these days is a nice pair of ‘fancy’ jeans and a V-neck top. I draw attention away from the smooshie belly with a cool stone necklace or hip shoes/boots. I bought a few stretch cotton/spandex T-shirts from the Gap in a size up than I normally would wear. They’re a little bigger in the chest and tummy, and go down a bit more past my waistline so accommodate the smoosh, but the arm and neck holes aren’t gaping. For my daughter’s Baptism, I bought a black matte jersey faux wrap dress. The wrap camouflaged the belly but showed off a bit of the fleeting cleavage, and made it a cinch to nurse. I would love to see a post-partum wardrobe collection that is reasonably priced (since hopefully we wouldn’t be wearing it for TOO long, right?), easily washable (I have a ‘four urp rule’ —Urp on me four times, and then I’m forced to change my clothes), yet flattering and tailored (extra room in the chest, tummy, waist and hips, but not something that makes me look like a bell.) Someone mentioned gaucho pants-- Love those. Oh, and my hair has been in a side-parted, low ponytail since the day I got out of the hospital!
Posted by: Hayley | September 12, 2006 at 11:04 AM
Such a great topic! Unfortunately I can relate to NoPoMom's daily ponytail. I just had a stylish cut yet I still pull it back into a ponytail every single day. Yesterday I dawned very short braids just to do something different. I avoid the yoga pant look and instead opt for capris or shorts and a t-shrit when home or a nicer top when out. During the winter, it's pretty much jeans and a sweater (preferably layered over something). Year around, shoes that I can slip on and off easily while juggling 10 other things.
I picked up a fabulous long skirt at Ann Taylor last week that I'm thinking about wearing every single day. It's that comfortable and can go casual to a dressier look easily. If I could, I would only have clothes from that store in my closet.
Posted by: cherl | September 12, 2006 at 11:53 AM
best thing I've done in years is go to the Levi's store and ask for help finding the right fit - in jeans with 1% spandex, not 2! (Not too low, not mom-jean high, but JUUUST right). I find the 2%-ers stretch out and slide by mid-day. Not fun to be hitching up your pants all the time.
We'll see what the body-size roller-coaster does to me after this baby comes out. Last time I was squeezing into some of my pre-pregnancy clothes within a week, and bottomed out weight-wise about 4 months later to a level that was a tad spooky -by one year post partum, I was at my regular weight again. Hopefully this time I'll ease back to my 'normal' weight without a crash.
As for now, as a WAHM whose workday starts at 5:30 am, if I'm showered and dressed in real clothes by 2pm I'm happy. And they're pretty much whatever maternity clothes I can get my hands on that don't resemble a muu-muu, though I'm getting muu-muu big these days (one month to go!).
Posted by: betsy | September 12, 2006 at 11:55 AM
Hi Kat!
I did the pj-yoga pant w/skirt-spandex type outfit throughout my entire pregnancy, and it worked really well, but now I'm tired of it, and want my style back. (Only I don't have my body back.) So it's tricky. Do I buy things in the biggish size I am, or the size I will be when the yo-yo coms to a halt? I just picked up a couple REALLY CUTE skirts at Frock, and they'll be really easy to alterate (what's the proper sewing terminology here? Smallify?) when I lose some weight. But, between me and the growing baby girl, it has become clear to me that I need to learn to sew. Now. Not learning to sew but wanting cute clothes is freakishly expensive. The DIY lounge at the back of Frock has classes of all sorts; I'm trying to get together a group for an October/November sewing class. Then I'll make a million skirts for Rowan and I. Which, to make a long story short, is my basic "style." Cute skirt, shirt, sweater, tights. The sweater and tights go away in the summer and come back in the fall. Good for work and being out in the world. This is my basic uniform; and I find it quite perfect. I'm always looking for more skirts, funky tights, and the perfect sweater. That's it. Who wants to take sewing classes with me?
Posted by: fionnsnana | September 12, 2006 at 04:24 PM
I was just thinking about taking a sewing class! My mother in law was just visiting and brought her sewing machine to help me spruce up our new house a bit. Lately, my style has been either jeans or a long skirt and a tank top. It seems to me that the skirts I love should be painfully simple to make... Although... I don't *actually* know how to sew at this point...
Posted by: Cindy | September 12, 2006 at 04:30 PM
A couple things come to mind on this subject... Buy a couple things that are your current size, even if the size freaks you out a bit. It's no good for a Mom's self-esteem to be forcing clothes that just don't look good right now. Suck it up (not literally) and you'll feel better when you look in the mirror. Another thing to jazz up a decidely casual wardrobe.. funky tennies like Adidas, Tiger and any other of the other bright fun kind of retro styles (there's a GREAT shoe store in Chinatown/Pearl - can't remember the name, it's on a corner and has some coola$% shoes). Lastly, I think a ponytail is cute and consider it a style unto itself - could be the low pony, or the pony with a little arch. You could bobby pin up the bangs and then go for a pony where the actual pony is looped back through the pony holder. Maybe the pony isn't polished per se, but I think it's cute. Pair the pony with some cute earrings and a touch o' make up, good fitting jeans, cute tennies, a tunic t-shirt and you have my Mom version of "polished".
Posted by: Monica | September 12, 2006 at 05:57 PM
Gauchos have been mentioned and I love mine. They're red, and fun colors liven stuff up. Also mentioned by someone else: big necklaces and cool shoes. Yes. Love those both. Even if I'm just wearing my favorite tee and some jeans, the shoes and necklace could jazz it up to the Nth degree. I like nice quality cotton/stretch blends that drape nicely and hide all the stuff I want to hide. Good comfy, stretchy stuff with low-elastic waists make me feel like it's all good. I have a knee-length A-line part spandexy skirt that I could wear every day. A few boat neck tops are good to have because it makes a tee more than just a tee. Fabrics with some synthetic element make for easier cleaning. Finally, one last thing that makes me feel presentable is a dab of foundation on each cheek. When my complexion is even, I somehow feel more put together. I literally dab, dab, and smear, and do the same with some balm on my lips. And - oh - I haven't even been "doing" my hair lately, just shove in a wide band elastic headband thing. Seems to work. I think 3 people at my office complimented me on my hair today. Weird.
Posted by: olivia | September 12, 2006 at 06:22 PM
For hanging around the house, I like the pajama look, but I liked it before I got pregnant too, so maybe that's cheating. I found a great pair of seersucker pajama bottoms at Target that I have been loving all summer. I only have to see clients occasionally right now, but that will increase as time goes by, so I'll eventually have to come up with more work outfits.... For the time being I've been paring trousers or a long skirt with a stretchy camisole and a sheer flowy blouse, unbuttoned. My big problem is shoes. My feet went up an entire size, so I've been having to buy all new shoes, quite the expense. The hair thing is definitely a downer. I was never into spending a lot of time on my hair, but the daily ponytail has been getting old. I have some long clips that I use to hold up a messy Freench twist or bun, that helps give some variety. And I've been wearing my diamond studs whenever I need some jewelry, because they are immune to the tiny grabbing hands!
Posted by: janet | September 12, 2006 at 08:43 PM
If a sewing class materializes, I would love to partake... I need to overcome my fear of buttonholes and zippers.
Posted by: Monica | September 12, 2006 at 08:51 PM
count me in for a sewing class! i can do a simple elastic waist a-line skirt, courtesy of the susanstars skirt kit, found at frock, among other places, but i'd love to do more.
Posted by: jj | September 12, 2006 at 09:15 PM
Oh ladies, you put me to shame.
These days hang around in sweatpants that could be found in my mother's closet and tops that were fashionable - in 1998.
I tried a pair of low waisted pants the other day at a Labor Day sale, but to be honest my stomach was hanging out so far and the minute I bent over the pants were sliding half way down my bottom.
(Mind you I still wanna learn how to sew!)
Posted by: Mardi | September 12, 2006 at 10:52 PM
I absolutely want to learn to sew! It never occured to me that I could make clothes for my girls, too! I'm all about it. Let's go.
Posted by: Kat | September 12, 2006 at 11:22 PM
I'd definitely be up for a sewing class too...the last time I took a sewing class I think I was 7 years old and only made clothes for my Cabbage Patch dolls! So count me in!
Posted by: NoPo Mama | September 13, 2006 at 07:22 AM
bolt on alberta has sewing classes as well, and great fabrics to boot. I actually CAN sew, but am having trouble finding the time... so I've bought a whole bunch of nice-looking comfy basics from american apparel, t-shirts, sweatshirts and leggings. the cuts are slim but long, which is great for the belly.
Posted by: sarah | September 13, 2006 at 10:30 AM
I have been stuck in the stretchy clothes zone since Genevieve came along - 3.5 years ago! I just cannot seem to get back into shape. So I have been ignoring my wardrobe. Got some good ideas here though to move me beyond my 5 pairs of black cropped pants and pastel t-shirts. My office is super casual anything goes, so I wear the same stuff at home as at work.
I'm all for sewing your own. I used to make almost all my own clothes but have fallen out of the habit lately (too busy sewing for others I guess).
Posted by: Cynthia | September 14, 2006 at 03:56 PM
wide leg "Fancy jeans" and a nice t-shirt or sweater is my usual uniform. I also love yoga pants for sleepy days, and Anthropologie cute-ified lounging pants. I totally suggest buying something that fits you right now matter how terrifying the size-- it will look better then something ill-fitting or too slouchy and you will feel better. Cute haircuts go a long way too! When I started dressing better I totally felt better as a woman-- like I had my identity back and felt good about myself again.
Posted by: Brittney | June 02, 2008 at 04:37 PM
OK marvelous mamas. You deserve to feel good about yourself, to remember that you are beautiful and not to save looking nice for those rare occasions where you get a night out or have a big work meeting. It is so easy to prioritize just about everything over "you". And realistically, we aren't going to spend our mornings giving ourselves pedicures and polishing our hoop earrings. Ha. Double ha, in fact.
Sad to say, there is no list of "must have" items that work for mamas. We are of all sorts of amazing shapes and sizes; your closet should have things that look good on YOU specifically. That said-- start there. Empty your closet of EVERYTHING that does not fit. If it used to fit and you love it, determine if it might be altered to fit now, or if it goes into a box for this season next year. If it hasn't fit in years, let it go. If you are post baby and your shape is changing, just keep the things that work now close at hand. Then you can see what you actually have and what you actually need. My suggestion for a good place to start? A nice pair of dark washed jeans. There are plenty out there that look young enough but don't leave a mama tummy or arse crack on full display. They are such a better alternative to wearing workout clothes and yoga pants. Still casual, still comfortable, but way more flattering. And forget the size. The tag goes on the inside for a reason. It is so worth it to have something that you feel and look good in NOW. Makes a world of difference in your attitude.
Posted by: Tracy | May 19, 2009 at 12:28 AM
Causal at the knee dresses are the best! No constricting waistline, covers the mushy mama body parts but still looks feminine. I like to wear mine with wool tights or cotton leggings, Frye boots, a funky scarf and a distressed jean jacket in the winter or a pair of ballerina style flats in the summer.
Posted by: amber | January 12, 2010 at 10:33 AM