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Sticking to me

I love my son. More than the moon, chocolate, great wine, etc, yada yada. That said, I do enjoy having some space from him from time to time. Just a little space. Even two feet of space. Is that so much to ask? Apparently, these days, it is.

He was a bit of a clingy child and then slowly found his independence, but for the past week he's suddenly clinging to me like crazy. If he's in the living room and I stand up to go to the kitchen just a few feet away, he starts protesting. If I'm in the kitchen cooking and he's two steps away from me, he starts saying "up, up!" wanting me to pick him up and hold him. If something spills and I get up to get some paper towels, he freaks out almost immediately, even when the paper towels are just a step away. What's going on? Is this normal 21-month-old behavior? He's past the separation anxiety phase, right?

This kid gets plenty of attention from everyone, so it's not like he's lacking being held, cuddled, played with or read to. I've tried everything from having him do fingerpaints at his table so he can see me while I cook, letting him know exactly what I am doing ("I'm going to get up and wash my hands now") so he's not surprised, giving him a task at the train table so I can refill his water cup. Some of this works for a minute but then it's back to "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!!!! Up! Up!" The worst part? He doesn't do this with his papa. Nope. Just his mama. He spends way more time with me than with his dad so I thought he would have been this way more with him than with me.

I really love spending hours on end with my son but I'd like to know that eventually I will be able to go back to getting a glass of water without him protesting my temporary "absence." Any thoughts, advice, commiserating stories?


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Oh, do I recall those days! And it was just the same with both my boys. They each got pretty independent and then - wham! Wanted to be all over me, all the time. Maybe kids get freaked out by their independence and want to regress? I don't know. But what worked for me, especially in the kitchen, was the backpack. I'd put him in it and go about my cooking and he'd be happy as a clam.

And yes, it definitely passes. Hang in there.

Oh my gosh...I cannot even tell you how much I know what you are talking about! My husband casually commented a few weekends ago that he would like to have more "alone time" for cycling, skiing, etc. and my response was something to the effect of..."You get to take a shower alone every morning! You get to go to the bathroom alone! You get to sit still at your computer alone...ALL DAY!" That was pretty much the end of that conversation... :)

No advice to share (darn) but I'm in the exact same situation with my 22 month old. I was at home with him for his first year of life and now work from home about 10-15 hours a week, so what gives? I feel like I'm physically/mentally/emotionally present to him him but it does not ever seem to be enough. I also have a 4 year old but I make a point of scheduling 1:1 time with each son. Anyone have any other advise?

My younger son just went through this too just before he was two- he had almost no separation anxiety up till then- he's just starting to "come out of it" now at 29 months. I wonder if all the verbal development going on at that age has something to do with it? It's seemed like a normal phase to me that just needs time to outgrow.

even my sons, the most social possible kids, LOVE to cling to me. i'd agree that it is just a phase but boy, is it hard to handle! sometimes - i must admit - i just yell, "no one TOUCH me! for just FIVE MINUTES!"

Umm, I hate to tell you this, but I will, in case yours is like mine: My third child is about to turn 3 in two weeks and he is still like this.

It's gotten to where I lay down with him until he falls asleep, both at naptime and night time. That's my fault, though. I love snuggling with that little guy, so usually I really want to lay down with him. The funny thing is, he doesn't seem to have a problem going to sleep without me when I am out of the house. It's only when I am home and accessible.

I could use some input! I quit my job and started consulting last September. My two year old has gotten even more attached to me since we spend more time together. Which is great...except he really pushs my husband away. He won't let my husband do bedtime, get him in the morning. no. It's always,"Mommy do it."

This is really making my husband and I sad. Anyone have this experience and/or thoughts??

In response to Chari: My 2.5-year-old tends to alternate between "Mami do it" and "Papi do it" moments, and he gets really insistent either way. I think it's a pretty normal toddler control-trip thing. We've stopped taking it personally and try to accommodate him when we can. When we can't, we explain why and (if feasible) let him sit it out for a few minutes. He usually comes around pretty quickly.

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