The Potty Challenge
So, how did you / do you plan to potty train? Here's a scenario from Hayley:
Now on the next challenge...completing the potty training! With the impending arrival of baby number two this summer, I would love to have the Bug (baby number one) out of diapers. She gets the whole concept of the potty and using toilet paper and flushing the toilet (a source of great excitement and wonder) and washing her hands. She has gone a few times in the toilet, and she knows to tell Mommy and Daddy if she has to go (or at least parrots back to us that this is what she is *supposed* to do) but she has not been consistent. I am assuming it's because she is at an in-home day care for three days of the week (where they don't enforce using the potty unless the child has had a 'dry' weekend) and at home with my husband and me for the remainder of the week. I ask her if she needs to go when she wakes up in the morning and before/after naps. Also, I ask 20 minutes or so after meals. She'll sit on the toilet and we'll read books, sing songs, but no action. But, as soon as we put a diaper back on-- Bingo. I certainly don't want to push her but I don't want to be too passive. My only comfort thus far is that another trusted Mama reminds me every once in awhile there aren't too many fifth graders running around in diapers, so eventually the Bug *will* get it! Any thoughts on how to cross the great potty chasm?
I am no expert on this, but can I tell you the big mistake we made? We thought potty training meant that the child initiates going potty, and will express the need to go. Nope.
It took some brilliant soul to tell me to just take off the diaper and take Maxito to the potty every hour or couple hours. Then, after many monotonous trips back and forth, it suddenly works.
Posted by: Serena | February 08, 2006 at 09:17 AM
Well, after going through it twice, my only words of wisdom are that it will happen when the kid is ready. You can encourage and buy the "big kid underwear!" and do the reward thing (we used chocolate chips), but ultimately for us, it was a light switch turning on sort of thing and it happened right around age 3 with both of them. Of course, girls being more brilliant in every way, your babe's light switch may turn on sooner. Good luck!
Posted by: Kate | February 08, 2006 at 10:10 AM
We stayed home for 3 days to focus on the potty training this past December when Kate was 29 mos. We used both a small potty and padded seats that go on top of the regular toilet. I would give her a big sippy cup full of water, set the timer, and tell her when the timer went off we would use the potty. Also we went at wake-up, before nap, before bedtime, after meals, etc. I did A LOT of cleanup, there was a little rebellion, didn't use rewards other than verbal congratulations and hugs, and washed a lot of tiny adorable underwear. It worked. Our new challenge is conquering Kate's fear of public restrooms, though we had a victory at Mt. Scott community center yesterday! My advice: pull-ups aren't necessary, it's ok to still use diapers at nap and bedtime, and if you can use the seat inserts instead of the small potty because you'll get sick of cleaning it out. Using the timer seems to work well for many kids but some kids can wait an hour, others only 15 minutes. Don't be too discouraged when you've spent 30 min with her on the toilet and as soon as you get her dressed again she poops. It seems almost all kids do this, and if you stick with it she'll get it in a few days.
Posted by: Blair | February 08, 2006 at 11:16 AM
I agree, Kate, let your child tell you when it's time. Our first daughter learned to use the potty just after 2. Her friends at school were doing it, and she expressed such interest that we just put away her diapers and she figured it out in a week. Our second daughter, just over 2, also showed tons of interest, but she also seemed to be using diapers as a clutch or safety. My spouse, her teacher, and I all agreed that maybe we need to just put her diapers away. On Day 1, she peed on me once and peed on a friend once. From Day 2 on, she's had no real accidents. Yesterday, she said on the potty: "WHOA! I peed so fast!" (Thanks to Mandy our caretaker for sharing the anecdote.)
Posted by: olivia | February 09, 2006 at 09:55 AM
I agree with Olivia that putting the diapers away is a great first step. It seems like the move towards transitional diapers (the pull on kind) just makes the process longer--and keeps the child using infantile behavior longer. Sometimes progress isn't all it's cracked up to be!
Posted by: Jane T. | February 10, 2006 at 10:45 AM
After realizing that my daughter was resisting using the little potty (and holding her urine for up to 12 hours!) because she wanted use the big toilet, we put the potty away and she is doing great. We have used food coloring to turn the toilet water green (her favorite color) as a motivator. She wears underwear all the time now but asks for a diaper when she needs to poop. I am happy to oblige for now as she has had constipation problems in the past and I fear she might start holding it -- she is stubborn like her mama!
Taking a toddler to the potty/toilet at regular intervals doesn't work for all children. It didn't work for us and, I think, lengthened the process. Once we let her take the lead (stopped asking if she needed to go, etc), she came around almost immediately, (about 24 hours)! Our kids are individuals and the books are full of generalities, use your own best judgement.
And it is always good have the "She won't be going to first grade in diapers" mantra if you need it!
Posted by: AmyS | February 10, 2006 at 05:37 PM
Pull-ups are definitely not the way to go. We've spent a couple months trying to potty-train with them, and it's been a waste. We've been trying a different tactic this week - naked from the wast down. It's not been perfect, but it's working a lot better than the pull-ups ever did.
Posted by: Larry | February 11, 2006 at 07:03 PM
Our son is now 31/2 years old. We got off to a great start, but then we moved. It has been nine months, I am still working on the potty training. I don't want this to be a traumatic experience for us. I am trying to be patient. Tomorrow, we will take away the pull ups and this time we are going to stick with it! Everyone please wish us good luck.
Posted by: Tammy Thompson | August 02, 2006 at 11:56 PM
For those of you who have successfully done the potty training thing, I have an odd question. We'd like to use a potty ring instead of a small potty to train our 2 year old daughter, but how are they supposed to get up there on the toilet seat by themselves?!? I assume we'll pick her up and set her on top of the toilet seat ring in the beginning, but once she gets the hang of it won't she want to be able to hop up there whenever she needs to go? Do we just need to get her a bigger stool?
Posted by: Allison | May 03, 2008 at 02:09 PM
I don't know how long it has been that my 4 year old has been using the big potty but she always sits sideways & hangs on to the large laundry basket/hamper that sits next to the toilet. A 2 1/2 year old that comes to our house for daycare used to push the sink stool over & climb up herself but once she saw my daughter use the hamper that was her method too. However, this is a very self-assured, active child who thinks nothing of backing up to toilet & scootching her bum on there. Another 2 1/2 year old who was at our house always used the little potty because she is smaller & less physically adept. So it kind of depends on the child as to what kind of potty works & how they get themselves onto it.
Posted by: capella | May 07, 2008 at 07:58 AM
Ok,my daughter (will be 3 in July) scooted herself onto the big potty seat today at day care when I came to get her, and for the first time since being trained (several months) went butt-first into the bowl. It was inevitable (but quite funny!). I tried to make it into a funny rather than tragic situation, which helped alleviate her trauma slightly...I can see how that would lead to backsliding in the training process! Luckily, she is pretty confident by now about going potty, so I am not anticipating any long term issues! :)
Posted by: Debby | May 07, 2008 at 09:11 PM
My daughter is eighteen months and will remove her diaper as soon as she soils it. She doesn't like to sit on the potty chair or toilet, so I'm not pushing the potty training just yet.
All our moms and grandmas seem to claim having potty trained their children by age one. Are they all exaggerating? And why the trend now to let our kids do it on their own?
I was just wondering if there are books any of you could recommend that make reference to the Training vs. Allowing method of parenting. And what the psychological implications are.
Our grandmas were probably washing diapers by hand, So it was in their best interest to potty train ASAP. And our moms were raised to do the same. I was supposedly potty trained by eleven months. But sometimes , when I laugh real hard, I still have boo-boos.
Posted by: lea | May 20, 2008 at 03:17 PM
I had potty boot camp. 10 days of goin NOWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not B.S.'ing. I went and did nothing but focus on helping and coaching my 2 year old son to the next level of the human game.
He hated the first 3 days. Then the next 3 he was cool. And was proud. The last 4 were cake and he learned to go #2 too.
I rewarded him with an organic sucker from T. J.'s each pee or poop and by day 4 he liked to have it on the toilet....like his dad and a magazine (I guess).
Nobody came over, no distraction, no nothin. That's sitting down and peeing....BTW.
Only boy I know trained so early. IT"S YOU>>>>NOT THEM!
Saved me lotsa cash and lotsa landfill.
Posted by: Miss. White | June 03, 2009 at 09:38 PM
My 23 month has been potty trained for a couple months now. Around 18 months we just started leaving her half naked or in undies and she quickly started to become aware of when she was going pee and poop. Now she goes at home and at school pretty consistently. We bought a little potty and spent a lot of time with her sitting on the potty singing songs and reading books. The tricks for us were leaving the diaper off, talking to her about what was going on, and being patient. It was really a pretty easy process. My other two we potty trained later and it was harder when they got older.
Posted by: Kelly Love-Geiger | June 08, 2009 at 11:27 PM
My two-year old has all the verbal and physical skills to go potty on the toilet. We've been talking to him about the toilet for about 3 months now, letting him know that he can always sit on the potty. But when we ask him if he wants to use the potty, we always get an emphatic "no!" Has anyone else had this experience, and what did you do? I don't want to force anything on him and don't want it to become a power struggle. Unfortunately, he's super-comfortable in his disposable diapers (Kid #2 will get cloth!!!!)and could hang out in a dirty wet diaper for hours, if we would let him.
Posted by: SJ | June 09, 2009 at 01:12 PM
SJ-
We had to retrain ourselves! to stop asking as a yes/no question. Rather, I explained to our daughter that every day she would sit on the potty. We have two potties (one is a seat on top of the toilet, the other is little potty) so she gets a "choice" of which potty.
We had a great potty book in which the book explained that every day Ashley sat on the potty, some times nothing came out, some times something did. So I used that as my guide. Now that she's in undies, I have explained to her that she needs to sit on the potty before we leave the house - it's not a question. But sometimes she sits & says quickly, I'm done. I have to let that be her choice.
Posted by: SusanOR | June 15, 2009 at 08:24 AM
When my kids were 10 months old and walking I took them into the bathroom with me and let them sit on their potty seat. By the time they both (boy & girl) were 13 months old they were completely trained. Turning the water on and then pouring a little bit of warm water down the front of your child while he/she is sitting on the potty works wonders. They will usually get a little shiver and then start to go. That's when I would clap and tell them what a good job they did. Praise goes a long way with babies. Good Luck to all of you.
Posted by: Stephanie | July 01, 2009 at 04:16 PM
no praise or rewards. I am all for respecting my son's own times,and not just for learning to use the potty. No training...few weeks ago he woke up and said that he didn't want to use diapers any more, he has "accidents" but we do not comment on those, just clean up. He is the one leading and I am the one following and supporting. I do ask him if he wants to go, and if he says "no" I ask if he would be willing to just seat in the potty and see what happens, most of the times he is willing to try.
Posted by: maria | July 08, 2009 at 10:26 PM
My daughter is 29 months old and I have been reading her potty books for two months now, she has two potty seats, one in each bathroom and we always try to have her sit and potty. She will sit, and nothing comes out and then she will say, "I did it." I want to encourage her for trying but don't want her to think that's all she as to do. Should I wait a while until she has more interest? She doesn't seem to care if she has a wet or poopy diaper. Any advice?
Posted by: Jen | August 30, 2009 at 11:58 AM
My how time flies...Looking back at my first post on Feb 7, 2006... fretting about my FIRST daughter's potty escapades. She just simply wasn't ready then, and we stopped pushing it. THAT was what did the trick. No pressure from us-- she told us when she was ready. A mere two months later!
Now, on August 31, 2009...happy to report my SECOND daughter is also trained : )
Posted by: hayley | August 31, 2009 at 01:42 PM
Okay . . . any thoughts on this one? My son is very comfortable going #1 on the potty (although, I have to take him regularly to avoid accidents). When it comes to #2, however, I'm not exactly sure what to do. He wants to wear big boy pants vs a diaper, but is scared (like many kiddos) to got #2 in the potty. So, of course he wants to go hide and poop in his big kid pants **or** sit on the potty with big kid pants still on. :-)
If I try to take big kid pants off (to change with a diaper or to go on the potty) it becomes a screamfest.
Anyone else experience something similar????
Thanks! G-man will be three in December.
Posted by: Shana | September 06, 2009 at 08:43 AM
Our son is two years old and we started potty training in late May I think? We have taken our time, because of my busy schedule :( He was very resistant at first, but I just tossed him in cotton big boy training pants and I consistently set him on the potty. It is about 30-40 minutes after drinking that seems to get better results, but when you are just first starting you may have to do that 2-4 times every 30 minutes before you get them to pee.
So 3 months later he is pretty much trained during the day and we just last week started getting poops in the potty, because my son prompted it, he did not like the "squish poop" in his big boy training pants.
I recommend, letting them run around the back yard naked, when the pee themselves they get really surprised and quickly start recognizing their body functions. Use baby leg warmers if it is starting to get cool. I also highly suggest one or two pairs of the more expensive high quality training pants that have the plastic lining hidden inside that is like the cloth diaper covers. They are plush cotton underwear that you can't even tell it is in there. I couldn't figure out why they were $10 each, when you can get like 3 Gerber pants for that price. The I read about the extra layer and if my son has a small accident his clothes don't get wet but he instantly yells "I peed" The better quality training pants are great for errands and even nap when you get a little further along. I have some of the Blue Penguin Brand form Milagros Boutique in NE Portland and Nikki from Babyworks in NW Portland.
Finally, you’re going to have some messes to clean up, you’re going to have to be patient until your child learns at their own pace about bowl control, and just take a deep breath and remember that it is just one more step of many steps in life you will have to help your child learn.
Posted by: Robyn Pfeifer | September 16, 2009 at 07:36 AM