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OH VALENTINE

Next Tuesday is Valentine's Day. Did you know this? It always creeps up on me. What are hubby and I doing? Oh, well, pretty much what we do every Tuesday night. Do I mind? Not at all. Are we giving each other presents? Mmm, no. At least, not that I am aware of (he has been known to break our No Gift agreements). Do I even care about Valentine's Day this year? No, honestly, not at all.

My husband and I have been together since 1993. We're going on 13 years together this year, and yes, I really do love him more each day (ick, I know, but it's true). In these almost-13 years we've spent many a Valentine's Day doing all of the couple requirements: fancy dress up dinners, roses, concerts, jewelry, picnics, elaborate gourmet homemade meals, sentimental cards. And now...I'm feeling kind of "done" with V-Day.

For me, it's a day for singles or newer couples to get together and their chance to profess their love. I think it's my responsibility and my husband's to profess our love every day, not just a random Tuesday during a very busy week when we may not necessarily have the funds for dinner at (insert insanely expensive restaurant here), when we don't have the energy to find a babysitter, or the energy to think of a creative V-Day celebration instead of dinner. We do go out to fancy dinners and get each other sweet gifts and remind each other how lucky we are to have found each other and go on crazy fun adventures on the spur of the moment together -- just not on a day predetermined by Hallmark.

Will you and your significant other celebrate Valentine's Day? If so, what are your plans? Is it a big deal in your house? Do you have fun ways to incorporate your kids into the day? Are you a huge Valentine's Day fan and think I'm nuts for not caring about this day?

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For me and the hunny, we use Valentine's Day to spend on ourselves. Sure, I detest Hallmark and what it's done to VD (made all kids think that hearts are all pink or bright red and are so perfectly symmetrical?), but whatever. I love my hunny on VD and every other day, but how often can we get out without kids and whisper sweet nothings to each other? Not often. And, of course we could technically pick any other day of the year to do it, but having Hallmark kick us in the rears to do it, well, it's all good with us! I don't need to get gussied up or something (tho I will whip on some gloss, which is better than most days), but we love to just get out and do stuff that we love to do together. This Tuesday? Probably a show at jimmy mak's. We've never specified whether or not we'll do gifts, but we inevitably get a li'l sumthin sumthin for each other, unplanned.

This'll be our 10th VDday together, and we've done a variety of stuff. Usually not big stuff, but just something so we can be together and cheesy if we want to.

As for the girls: Philly (age 5) has been working on her 23 cards for weeks. She writes out her friend's name, a short message, and her signature. 2 years ago, she was just doing her name. It's fun to see how much more elaborate and decorative her cards have become. Tati (age 2) doesn't have too much concept of the day, and that's fine.

I hope my spouse will continue to bring me flowers and chocolates on VD every year! Due to babysitting conflicts, we'll have our special evening out Monday but I'll still do something for him at home Tuesday evening, too.

This is also our 10th VD together but our first as parents. I'm not sure how to share VD with the baby or what special thing we'll do with him. He received a VD card in the mail from his grandparents today which was a cute surprise. We mailed VD cards to relatives and friends this afternoon (had to send out his 9 month photo anyway).

This holiday has lost a lot of its zeal for me as well and thats unfortunate because this year I could use a day of love and candy. My baby girl is 3 mos. old and my hubby and I are in bed most weeknights by 8pm. I don't know if he wants a present, a card, or just some peace and quiet to watch a basketball game. I know how we feel about each other and we share special moments everyday. This year he will get dinner after work, a clean happy baby and a loving if not tired partner to cuddle up with at night.

I'm with you, Marlynn. We've been together for 13 years, married for almost 8. Valentine's was definitely more special when we were in the throes of the early years. I've always struggled with what to buy him for V-Day; I used to buy myself lingerie and wrap it up for him. Since my birthday is in January, I also felt it was unfair to put the pressure on for yet another thoughtful item (he always outdoes himself for Christmas and birthday), so two years ago I said, "no gifts, no celebration". Now that we have a baby, it's weird, I feel kind of pouty like I do want him to buy me something (but not the other way around). It feels like V-Day should be different now, but I can't say why. Then I felt guilty. So after reading your post I secretly bought him some concert tickets for a date night in March. Will tape them to the mirror with a lipstick-written note before I head to work in the morning.

Oh Suz, that's a really sweet VDay thing to do for your hubby! I want to note that I am totally into this holiday where my son is involved. Today he and I had fun making a VDay card for my husband and we already gave it to him. Tomorrow I'll probably buy a bunch of VDay chocolates (mainly because our chocolate bowl is getting empty and that's cause for panic in our household!), and my husband and I are planning on making a nice meal of steak frites. I guess we still do stuff, but we don't make as big a deal of it as we used to.

UPDATE
Boy, am I glad I bought the concert tickets. When I stepped out of the shower, I saw a vase of gorgeous flowers and a card that said "Mom" on the envelope. "How sweet," I thought, "he got me flowers from the baby." Then, reading the card it said "Daddy and I combined our Valentine's gift to you -- don't be mad, but we bought you some things." Downstairs at breakfast I opened two boxes -- a gorgeous silver cuff bracelet, its texture from white birch, and a really funky cool skirt. "Don't run out and get me anything just because I did this," DH said. "Well... okay, I won't," I replied, savoring the surprise I was going to spring on him.

Now I have a stupid smile plastered on my face. "Yes, Virginia, there really is a Cupid."

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