Mama needs a makeover
Maybe it's just me but inevitably, once a month, I find myself having the doldrums about the way I look. Like the commercials say "your daughter's acne and your mother's wrinkles," I've got it all! Unfortunately, the advertised product would just make my situation worse, due to a fragrance allergy.
As my child and I get older I feel like I get further and further out of touch with how to dress, how to care for my skin, and how to make myself feel better about what I see when I look in the mirror. I think a large part of my frustration stems from the fact that I don't really identify with who I was prior to becoming mama, but I'm not real sure about who I am now. What sort of clothes, shoes, makeup, and hairstyle represent me best? Is it really the flannel pajamas and the ponytail? Because really, I do feel comfortable but I do not feel "appealing." Couple this with a severe guilt trip every time I step into a retail shop (I should be shopping at salvation army!), and the doldrums just get deeper and deeper. OK sure it *IS* that time of the month and my skin looks and feels HORRIBLE, and my body is bloated and out of whack. Does that mean I should just forget about it and move on?
What I really dream about is some lovely person showing up on my doorstep telling me they've been secretly video taping me in my flannel PJs and ponytail and that my friends and family want me to have a makeover. OK sure it's always hard to hear from someone else but I'll take it! When I do shop I don't know what to choose because my body is so different! My self image is so bad that anything I put on is immediately repulsive, only because my body is in it.
Does anyone have any suggestions for how to dig myself out of this hole? I've tried an eyebrow wax and a quick facial but after a failed session of retail therapy this afternoon, I'm still feeling low. Maybe a cut and color? Mani/pedi? What do you do for a pick me up when you're feeling down?
I am SO glad you blogged about this! I have been feeling similarly - the hormonal thing coupled with my big birthday being today. Kids, little or no makeup, busy work, feeling blah ... you deserve to "feel like a woman"! What makes me feel better? Here are some things I would love but I don't always have the chance to do:
1) getting all dolled up with pointy high-heels, eye makeup and all, and going out for drinks with other hot mamas. it's a superficial fix that i love every once in a while.
2) treating myself to a luxurious pedi at Barefoot Sage (http://www.thebarefootsage.com/), or Mimosas & Mani's at SpaLaLa (http://www.spalala.net), or martini pedicures with Charmaine at Fleur De Lys (http://portland.citysearch.com/review/36205964/1143337/?brand=google). heck, even a cheaper treat at a school (Phagan's near NE Broadway/ NE 15th or Beau Monde near PSU where Thursdays are super-cheap days).
3) scanning the weekly Portland Picks (http://www.portlandpicks.com) for sales or deals at "hip" haunts throughout the city. My two recent retail-therapy purchases resulted from Portland Picks tips, and they were great deals. Most times I don't so much read the whole weekly newsletter through....
Would it be fun to do a Mama's Night Out soon???
Posted by: olivia | November 15, 2005 at 04:50 PM
And, just for the record, I think you are a foxy mama with plenty of style & character, a funkiness and hipness of your own...
Posted by: olivia | November 15, 2005 at 04:56 PM
Olivia you are too sweet! I didn't see that second part until just now... and I'm happy to say I've pulled out of my funk a bit. Chris is back today and can I say, I'm so glad I am not a single mama cuz I'd SUCK at it. Kudos to anyone who does that, it's way over my capacity.
Posted by: Shetha | November 17, 2005 at 04:31 PM
You two skinny minis crack me up. Anyway, a girl's gotta right to feel down on herself when the hormones make you feel wacky. Mamas night out, I'll lift my glass to that, and how I would love a martini! It would knock me out, but yeah, we need a night out on the town even if we're home by 11 pm.
Posted by: hau | November 17, 2005 at 10:22 PM
Delurking to say - I always start to feel ugly when in need of a haircut. More than a few times I've thought "oy, I look so so bad", only to glance at my calendar and notice that I'm scheduled for a cut later that week.
Posted by: nora | February 22, 2006 at 02:39 PM