The Work-Life Coach: Able to Deliver the Coveted Balance?

I love the idea of someone else sorting out the chaos of my life.  Figuring out how to get my boss to approve me working fewer hours, how to pay the bills earlier than midnight and not at work, how to keep the family health insurance yet spend more time with my kids!  Seems too good to be true, doesn't it?  Maybe not! 

An article in last week's Washington Post tells of a 3-time mama who scores a 3 and 1/2 day a week schedule with the help of just such a ($75/hour!) coach.  And they're not just available in DC, mamas.  Just north of P-town (yeah, it's in Seattle) is Quest for Balance.  San Francisco has Flexperience.  And 10 til 2, out of Denver since 2003, has eight franchises around the country and is expanding...fast (interested in running a franchise?).

What about Portland?  With all the interest in more flexible and meaningful part-time work among parents, it seems these services would thrive in Portland.  Maybe Portland Mamas, Inc. would know?  I say that because according to the Post article, "with few exceptions, the entrepreneurs in this emerging field know their customers because they belong to the same demographic."  Mamas helping mamas solve a problem.  I like that.

Ready for a Work-Life Coach? I grew up in a family where we were supposed to sort things out for ourselves, but in my adult life I've happily realized that a little professional guidance now and then can be a great thing.  So I'm wondering if it would be a wise investment (at $75/hour it is an investment!) to help sort out some work-family balance challenges, do some future career planning?  I'm tempted, mamas, because the crux of the problem - lack of time - can also be what stands smack in the way of managing it better. 

Is the Workplace Ready?  You can plan, strategize and ask for all kinds of workplace flexibility, but if employers aren't into it, well, they're not into it.  According to the Post article:

While the demand for these services is real, questions remain about whether they can deliver. Despite the widespread acceptance of flex time and telecommuting, there is still resistance among employers, especially in time-intensive fields like law and finance, to accommodate parents who want to work reduced hours without harming their careers.

"Jobs are organized around full-time work over a standard work week. When you challenge any of those arrangements, you're challenging long-established habits and customs that flow around that," said Paul Rupert, president of a Washington firm that advises companies on flexible work arrangements.

For now, the business of balance boils down to using exceptional credentials and skills as leverage to broker flexible work arrangements. Slackers need not apply.

Of course that's the next question: how do we encourage employers to be more flexible?  Stay tuned, mamas, we'll be talking about that piece of this puzzle soon enough!

Comments

[andrea]

Sign me up! Five years ago, when my first child was born, I remember feeing slightly smug (and pretty thankful) that I could work three days a week and stay home the other days with my child. It was the perfect balance for me and the family.

Fast forward five years, two more kids, and additional job demands, and I could use some help! What I originally loved as a personal and professional organizational challenge has become quite the burden. The checking work email from home (and talking to my boss on the phone while nursing the infant and listening to the 3 and 5 year olds fight in the background), having to do personal errands at work because it's the only time I can, etc. Add a sick kid to the mix and I feel like my house of cards is about to crumble. I guess my issues are indeed about work-home balance, but I also just wonder if they are just an unavoidable symptom of working after having kids, whether it's full time or part time. I'd be curious to hear what kind of thoughts a work-life coach would have.

[Chris]

I think the lack of balance you are experiencing isn't confined to moms who work outside the home. I'm a fulltime homemaker and often feel overwhelmed with my responsibilities to others and unable to take care of my own needs. Whatever your work situation, most of us moms are doing too much with too little support. Our mobile American lifestyle leaves us vulnerable when we could use the extra hands a couple local grandmas could provide or a trusted neighbor at home during the day who can watch the kids while you run errands. My mom had these simple advantages. I know few moms of young children today who have them. Our neighborhoods are empty during the day and because neighbors move so frequently, we may not even know them. Our moms are a couple states or a continent away. I don't want to get the working vs. homemaking debate going, but I think motherhood was a lot less stressful when more moms were home and people didn't move so far from their families.

In addition to not having basic support systems around us and our young children, we just plain do too much. Our children are doing too much and we adults are over-scheduled, too. I was making myself crazy a year ago, shuttling my daughter to dance and swim lessons, afternoon preschool, and playgroup, then going out multiple times a week for knit-night and volunteer work. Now, we have cut most such scheduled activities, instead, we dance at home, go swimming when we want, and have our calendar open for spontaneous visits with friends.

This New Years, I resolved to take a "Mom's Morning Off" every weekend. Depending on our plans and the weather (if it's nice out, the whole family is working in the garden), I leave the house early, before anyone's awake, go out for breakfast alone and do whatever I want for a few hours before returning home at noon. It's wonderfully rejuvenating and I highly recommend it. I also try to get out with girlfriends one evening a week, but no more than that.

Portland mama Savannah Mayfield is a life coach and massage therapist. I haven't tried out her life-coaching service, but got a wonderful massage from her during my last pregnancy. You can find her here:
http://www.nurturelifecoaching.com/

[Savannah Mayfield]

Chris popped me an email to cue me on on this conversation and I just wanted to say, hello! I won't try to "sell" my services but do want to connect with you as a mama myself (two boys, one is 16 and the other just turned 1!) striving for a real working balance.

I don't think of balance anymore as everything getting an equal share. That is a puzzle that will make any mama crazy! I now think of balance as my own inner meter. How balanced do I feel? This is so different than trying to make sure my life is perfectly even, with fair time for each person or activity. When I am balanced, I can flow with what shows up.

And me being balanced means I take care of myself and listen to my own needs, instincts and inner guidance. Chris mentions taking a mom's morning off once per week. Taking time, even it if it in small doses, to care for herself is so important! I am going to guess that she returns home feeling like she has more energy and attention to give her partner and kids.

Recently, I was interviewed on AM Northwest to talk about Mom's caring for themselves. Interestingly, I got to practice all my own tips within a two day period. I talk about it on my blog:
http://mindfullymothering.com/2008/02/07/practicing-what-i-preach/

If you are interested, I have a workshop upcoming:
Cultivating Self Nurture: the art of caring for yourself as tenderly as you care for everyone else. Sunday May 18th 1:30 to 4:00.
503-473-4754

As mamas, we are living in a time where our expectations of ourselves are higher than ever and our support systems often seem limited or absent. My own mother lives 3000 miles away! One of the most important things we can do is come together to creatively strategize and give each other empathy for the hard and important work we do every minute of every day.

[Jenny Gallagher]

Andrea,

I am a life balance coach and was reading your post from 3/31. You mentioned you'd be curious to know what a life coach thought about your busy life situation. Here is how I would respond:

Life balance is tricky. Like any type of balance, if you catch the little 'wiggles' then you can be more successful at staying grounded. The problem is most of us just "live life". So we don't notice the wiggles. And even if we do, we aren't sure we can adjust. Increasing awareness on what we do, and why we do it, can help us to not lose our balance. Otherwise the days will just get busier and busier. Then dissatisfaction can increase.

I work with clients to deepen their awareness and begin to think about their dreams and passions. If you want more information please go to my website at www.jennygallagher.com. While there may not be much "time" for your dreams now, with a little attention you can begin to make space. A little at first but then that can grow with time.

I also have published a book called Four Steps to a Better Life. You can purchase a copy online or from me for $9.95. There is a worksheet and exercise section at the end to help you work towards your goals. I also offer Express Coaching as well as traditional coaching services, workshops, etc.

I hope that helps. All the best.

Jenny Gallagher
503-939-9552